Senator: You called for me, sir?
President: Yes, thanks for coming. We have another problem on our hands.
Senator: What is it this time, sir?
President: I just got a call form Al Sharpton and the NAACP. They say they
are concerned about the fact that they do not have any Negro holidays.
Senator: Negro holidays sir? What is it that they want? A holiday to
commemorate the invention of the spear in Africa?
President: No. No. Nothing that glamorous. They say that all the
holidays are white holidays, they even refer to Christmas as a "White
Christmas".
Senator: What about Lincoln? Didn't he help Negroes?
President: Yes, I mention that. But they said that he too was white and
they are very displeased that everyone that has a holiday is white. They
want just as many Negro holidays as there are white holidays.
Senator: Hmmm.. I see you dilemma sir. Aren't these the same people that
called up not too long ago to complain that ***** was the same color as their
skin, and demanding that something be done about it?
President: Yes, and we lost millions in bogus research to try and
genetically modify foods to turn American ***** white.
Senator: Well sir, I think we should be able to work something out here.
You see, Lincoln and Washington have holidays close to each other, let's
cancel these holidays and make it one. We can call it President's Day.
Then they can't say it is about any one person that is white.
President: But, so far... all the presidents have been white.
Senator: Easily fixed sir. All we have to do is 'hint' that there is some
obscure history that was buried and suppressed by white people about the
first president being black. Negroes are stupid sir, they'll believe
anything. Hell, I had one just the other day try to tell me about that last
story we made up, about Egyptians being Negroes and being able to fly, but
being suppressed by whitey.
President: Ha Ha Ha Ha. Yeah, that was a good one all right. I thought of
that one while I was driving in my car, didn't take much imagination. Those
stupid Negroes will believe anything they can cling on to, to make them look
smarter than they really are. Okay, that takes care of two Whitey holidays,
about a Negro holiday?
Senator: What about one Negro that got shot not too long ago? What was his
name? Martin Luther Coon?
President: King.... that's right. Almost forgot about him. Boy, what a
headache he turned out to be.
Senator: The hardest part about him was in trying to keep that story out of
the press about how much of a womanizer he really was. We eventually had to
shoot him, just to keep him from dirtying his own name any further. He
truly was a "Muh Dik" negro.
President: Yeah, I remember those days, they were a bomb. Why don't we
take that Negroes birthday and make it a holiday then?
Senator: Problem is, his birthday is in January. People are just getting
out of Christmas and New Years. Another holiday, being so close together,
would seem kind of redundant.
President: Let the Negroes sort that out, I just want to get that Negro Al
Sharpton off my ***** for now. I need some time to sort out the Middle East
Crisis.
Senator: I understand sir.
President: I have one more problem, the NAACP wants a Negro history month.
Give me a suggestion.
Senator: Make it February. It is the shortest month, and we'll need all
the help we can get in spreading Afrocentristic ***** lies to the masses.
President: Good idea. What about the "White Christmas" thing?
Senator: Well, we could make up another holiday. I mean, the Jews did it
with Hanukah? Why not us? Let's make up a Negro Christmas... we can call
it something exotic, like "Kwanzaa" or something along that line.
President: Excellent. Make it so... but don't do it all at once, we don't
want anyone getting suspicious. Put our ideas out over time, from one
generation to the next, so as to not arouse suspicion.
Senator: Excellent idea sir. I'll get right to work on it. We have one
more problem, I just came from a NAACP meeting last week and they have a
thorn up their ***** about the lack of Negroes in the media.
President: Obviously they haven't been watching the "COPS" show, or "Real
TV". Take care of that for me too.
Senator: "COPS" and "Real TV" are only shown in Europe at the moment sir,
and it doesn't show them in a glamorous state. In fact, it does little more
than show their true nature, but I'll take care of the situation. We have
to do something to keep them down. I mean, who else are we going to get to
serve us a McDonald's Drive-thru or to clean our Hotel rooms?
====
And so my friends, we now have the truth about how the Negro holidays REALLY
came about...
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