| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"skyeyes" |
| Date: |
19 Aug 2005 12:51:40 PM |
| Object: |
The *Real* Creation Story |
Eve's Real Story
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So,
how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets
are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but
I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The
middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them
with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes.
They're a real pain," reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body
came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, she felt that
having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically
balanced."
"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this,
you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed
only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up
right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the
bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of
Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the
animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All
the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How
could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately
create a man from a part of you. Now let's see, where did I put that
useless boob?"
[Note to the guys: just some gentle kidding here.] ;->
Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
EAC Professor of Feline Thermometrics and Cat-Herding
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| User: "johac" |
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| Title: Re: The *Real* Creation Story |
20 Aug 2005 02:40:24 AM |
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In article <1124473900.761002.183090@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
"skyeyes" <skyeyes@dakotacom.net> wrote:
Eve's Real Story
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So,
how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets
are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but
I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The
middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them
with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes.
They're a real pain," reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body
came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, she felt that
having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically
balanced."
"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this,
you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed
only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up
right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the
bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of
Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the
animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All
the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How
could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately
create a man from a part of you. Now let's see, where did I put that
useless boob?"
[Note to the guys: just some gentle kidding here.] ;->
Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
EAC Professor of Feline Thermometrics and Cat-Herding
LOL! Hey, wait a minute!
--
John Hachmann aa #1782
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"
-Voltaire
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: The *Real* Creation Story |
21 Aug 2005 11:51:25 AM |
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On 19 Aug 2005 10:51:40 -0700, "skyeyes" <skyeyes@dakotacom.net>
wrote:
Eve's Real Story
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So,
how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets
are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but
I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The
middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them
with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes.
They're a real pain," reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body
came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, she felt that
having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically
balanced."
"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this,
you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed
only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up
right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the
bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of
Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the
animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All
the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How
could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately
create a man from a part of you. Now let's see, where did I put that
useless boob?"
[Note to the guys: just some gentle kidding here.] ;->
RRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGG
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
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