| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Hagar" |
| Date: |
12 Nov 2005 10:15:11 PM |
| Object: |
The Status of Hell |
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
Chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
===================================================
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there
is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why , last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh, my God!"
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
.
|
|
| User: "Lars Eighner" |
|
| Title: Re: The Status of Hell |
12 Nov 2005 10:51:28 PM |
|
|
In our last episode, <sN-dnRzWjNr39OveRVn-rw@giganews.com>, the
lovely and talented Hagar broadcast on alt.atheism:
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
Chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Good story, but sadly, an urban legend.
--
Rev. Lars Eighner, UCL http://www.larseighner.com/
The Mint Jelly of GodŽ -- The World's Best Atheist -- Unholier Than Thou
First Church of Electro-Baptism ***Atheist #1965*** One Short Circuit to Jesus
Blasphemy is a blast for me.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Graham Kennedy" |
|
| Title: Re: The Status of Hell |
13 Nov 2005 12:43:38 AM |
|
|
Lars Eighner wrote:
In our last episode, <sN-dnRzWjNr39OveRVn-rw@giganews.com>, the
lovely and talented Hagar broadcast on alt.atheism:
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
Chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Good story, but sadly, an urban legend.
That's the first one I've seen where the guy *does*
get off with the girl. Most have him use the fact that
he hasn't slept with her to indicate that hell has
not frozen over and is therefore heating up.
--
Graham Kennedy
Creator and Author,
Daystrom Institute Technical Library
http://www.ditl.org
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Uncle Vic" |
|
| Title: Re: The Status of Hell |
13 Nov 2005 05:26:16 AM |
|
|
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Lars Eighner
(usenet@larseighner.com) made the light shine upon us with this:
In our last episode, <sN-dnRzWjNr39OveRVn-rw@giganews.com>, the
lovely and talented Hagar broadcast on alt.atheism:
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington Chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.
Good story, but sadly, an urban legend.
I couldn't find it at Snopes...
--
Uncle Vic
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
----
"The world is only 5-6 thousand years old does not mean the planet
earth is only 5-6 thousand years old. There have been many worlds
created and destroyed on this planet. The creation of the planet is
described in Genesis 1. The creation of the world is described in
Genesis 2. Two different kind of creations." --Eric Brze
.
|
|
|
| User: "Lars Eighner" |
|
| Title: Re: The Status of Hell |
13 Nov 2005 10:38:55 AM |
|
|
In our last episode,
<Xns970CDA130D89Fvicman@216.196.97.136>,
the lovely and talented Uncle Vic
broadcast on alt.atheism:
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Lars Eighner
( ) made the light shine upon us with this:
In our last episode, <sN-dnRzWjNr39OveRVn-rw@giganews.com>, the
lovely and talented Hagar broadcast on alt.atheism:
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington Chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.
Good story, but sadly, an urban legend.
I couldn't find it at Snopes...
I believe it has been mentioned that this a varient (in which
the examinee gets the girl). Googling on: snopes hell exam,
turns this up as the first hit:
<http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp>
--
Rev. Lars Eighner, ULC http://www.larseighner.com/
The Mint Jelly of GodŽ -- The World's Best Atheist -- Unholier Than Thou
First Church of Electro-Baptism ***Atheist #1965*** One Short Circuit to Jesus
"Shhh! Be vewwy, vewwy quiet! I'm hunting Muswims!" - President Elmer Bush
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
|
|
