This Is No Joke!!



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Topic: Religions > Atheism
User: "Jules"
Date: 31 Dec 2004 06:39:30 PM
Object: This Is No Joke!!
THIS IS NO JOKE!!! It really works. It was featured on Dateline and
Oprah. At first this was a way that I could ease the financial debt I
put myself in. $10,000 would be nice and at least put a dent in my
bills and give me some extra cash. But now this program is more than
that..it is a way that I was able to clear all my financial problems
and finally live the life that financial freedom gives. I was in debt
over $15,000 at a ripe old age of 30. It was due to some financial
irresponsibility. I was quickly losing some of the ones that I loved,
and the stress of daily life was becoming too much! But with an
investment of just $6.00 , I was able to clear away each and every one
of my bills and live the life that only ca bre dreamed about. Now that
I have my financial freedom, nothing would make me more hapy that to
see others gain the same thing. This program must be followed very
specifically so that we all have the opportunity benefit from it. As
long as everyone plays by the rules, there's no way we can lose! The
beauty about this program is that it's worldwide..and there must be
tens of millions of people that would no doubt invest $6.00 to gain
their financial freedom!
The first time I saw this ad posted in a newsgroup I thought that
there was no way this could work..and it must be a scam. But I was in
no posision to disregard any possible income generating opportunity, so
I read on. The power of the internet and it's worldwide reach made
this program seem so easy...and that's exactly what it was.
Here are (4) easy steps to start making your future :
1. Get six (6) separate pieces of paper and write the following on each
piece of paper "Please put me on your mailing list. Get six (6) U.S
$1.00 bills and place one inside of each of the six pieces of paper so
the bill will not be seen through the envelope. Place one paper in
each of the six (6) envelopes and seal them with the dollar bill
enclosed. You now should have six (6) sealed envelopes each with a
piece of paper stating the above phrase with your name and address
written therein ( don't forget about the $1.00 bills). What you are
doing is creating a service. Mail the six (6) envelopes to the
following addresses :
a. D. Cotton, 3101 Hidden Pond Dr. #101 Raleigh, NC 27613
b. S. Camaj, PO Box 182032 Shelby Township, MI 48318-2032
c. J. Evans, 8735 Bushy Hill Dr. Santee, CA 93071
d. Isaac Kamelamela, 3325 Kalua Rd. Honolulu, HI 96816
e. Jeff McNamara, 2637 Pine St. Napa, CA 94558
f. J. Gonzalez, 3680 N. Sharon Dr. Prescott Valley, AZ 86314
2. Now take the #1 name off the list that you see above, move the other
name up (six becomes 5, 5 becomes 4 and so on.) Add you name as number
6 on the list. Change anything you need to but try to keep this
article as close to the original as possible. No wpost your amended
article to at least 200 newsgroups. ( I think there are close to 25,000
of them.) All you need is 200, but remember, the more you post, the
more income you generate. This is perfectly legal. If you have any
doubts, refer to Title 18, Section 1302 & 1341 of the Postal Lottery
Laws. Keep a copy of these directions for yourself and whenever you
need to generate some income you can re-use it. Please remember, that
this program remains successful because of the honesty and integrity of
the participants and by their carefully adhereing to the directions.
Look at it this way, if you are of integrity , the program will
continue and the income that so many others have received will come
your way. You need to retain every name and address sent to you,either
on a computer of hard copy and keep the notes people send you. This
verifies that you are truly providing a service. Also , it is a good
practice to srap the $1.00 in dark paper to avoid the risk of mial
theft. So, as each post is down loaded and the directions carefully
followed, all members will be reimbursed for their participation as a
List Devleoper with one dollar each. Your name will be moved up the
list geometrically so that when you name reaches the #1 position you
will be receiving a huge amount of cash! What an opportunity for only
six-dollars ($6.00) one-dollar ($1) for each of the six people listed
above. Send it now, add you own name to the list and you are in
business. Here are some directions on how to post to a newsgroup. You
do not need to retype this document everytime, just copy and paste it
to the newsgroup. Just remember to save it to your document folder to
access it everytime. Use Netscape or MS Internet Explorer and try
searching for various newsgroups ( on-line forums, message boards, chat
sites, discussions etc.) Visit these sites and post this article as a
new message (copy and paste. Not cut and paste.) Fill in the subject
line this will be the header that everyone sees as they scroll through
the list of postings in a particular group. Next, click the "Post"
button.
3. That's it. All you have to do is jump from newsgroup to newsgroup
and post away. After getting the hang of it, it will only take about
30 seconds for each newsgroup. Remember, the more newsgroups you post
in, the more capital you will accumulate. It is imperitive that you
post to at least 200 newsgroups. That's it. You will begin
receiving capital from around the globe within days. You may
eventually want to rent a PO Box due to the heavy volume of mail you
will be receiving. If you wish to remain anonymous you can adopt
another name to use, if it is agreeable with the postman/woman to
deliver under an anonymous condition. Make certain that all the
addresses are correct. Now the why part: Assume for example you get a
7.5% rate of response, which is very conservative. Please view the
following estimated breakdowns :
a. When you post 200 articles, 15 people will send you $1.00
b. Those 15 people post 200 articles, 225 people will mail you $1.00
c. 225 post 200 articles, 3.375 people will mail you $1.00
d. 3.375 post 200 articles, 50,625 people will mail you $1.00
e. 50,625 post 200 articles, 759,375 people will mail you $1.00
Now your name has dropped off the list, but so far you have received at
least $759,375. Not bad for a $6.00 investment (plus
postage). Simply mind boggling.
4. When you name is no longer on the list, you take the latest
posting in the newsgroups, and send out another $6.00 to the names on
the list, putting you at number 6 again. Start posting again. You have
to remember and realize the thousand of people around the globe are
joining signing on to the web everyday and reading articles just like
this one, just like you are right now. So you go get $6.00 and see it
for yourself. People have said " What if the plan is played out and
no one sends you the money?" So what?! What are the chances of the
happening when there are thousands of people who are joining everyday
and are willing to give it a try? Estimates are at 20-50,000 new
internet uses everyday, with thousands of those joining the actually
signing up for their own internet connection. Remember, play fairly
and honest and this will really work.
.

User: "Doc Smartass"

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 31 Dec 2004 07:56:27 PM
"Jules" <jules_gonz_01@msn.com> wrote in
news:1104539970.860470.183050@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com:

Subject: This Is No Joke!!

This is:
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately,
the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When
he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He goes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it
above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?" he yelled with surprising
forcefulness.
No one answered.
"ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA BEER, AND IF MY HOSS AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE BY
THE TIME I FINNISH, I'M GONNA DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS! AND I DON'T LIKE TO
HAVE TO DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside,
and his horse is back!
He saddles-up and starts to ride out of town. The bartender wanders out of
the bar and asks, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
--
Dr. Smartass -- BAAWA Knight of Heckling -- a.a. #1939
You can lead a horse to water...
....and with proper use of levers, rope, and duct tape,
you CAN make it drink.
.
User: "Al Klein"

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 01 Jan 2005 07:52:58 PM
On Sat, 01 Jan 2005 01:56:27 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekiskivviesdo@astroboyskivviesmail.com> said in alt.atheism:

"Jules" <jules_gonz_01@msn.com> wrote in
news:1104539970.860470.183050@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com:

Subject: This Is No Joke!!


This is:

[ship]
A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks,
"Is this a joke?"
--
"Christianity has already had the chance to govern
the world according to its own ethical standards.
It was called the "Dark Ages".
- Bill, The Avender
(random sig, produced by SigChanger)
rukbat at verizon dot net
.
User: "Doc Smartass"

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 02 Jan 2005 04:00:35 AM
Al Klein <rukbat@pern.invalid> wrote in
news:fuket0tuv883lu6q0np9a02hfn7j00uvbe@4ax.com:

On Sat, 01 Jan 2005 01:56:27 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekiskivviesdo@astroboyskivviesmail.com> said in alt.atheism:

"Jules" <jules_gonz_01@msn.com> wrote in
news:1104539970.860470.183050@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com:

Subject: This Is No Joke!!


This is:


[ship]

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks,
"Is this a joke?"

And this:
A Blonde walks into a bar.
The brunette ducks.
--
Dr. Smartass -- BAAWA Knight of Heckling -- a.a. #1939
Hurl, hurl, door gong's oil hair!
Moisten satyr knotty wart!
Moisten satyr knotty wart!
Hurl, hurl, door gong's oil hair!
Wart inhale dough way cur, nor?
.

User: "sanguinevikings"

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 02 Jan 2005 01:11:11 AM
Al Klein wrote:

On Sat, 01 Jan 2005 01:56:27 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekiskivviesdo@astroboyskivviesmail.com> said in alt.atheism:


"Jules" <jules_gonz_01@msn.com> wrote in
news:1104539970.860470.183050@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com:


Subject: This Is No Joke!!


This is:



[ship]

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks,
"Is this a joke?"

And the rabbi says "No, but this is: A priest, a rabbi and a minister
walk into a bar....".
.



User: "bloodyvikings"

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 01 Jan 2005 04:49:05 AM
Duly forwarded to:

Jules wrote:

THIS IS NO JOKE!!! It really works. It was featured on Dateline and
Oprah. At first this was a way that I could ease the financial debt I
put myself in. $10,000 would be nice and at least put a dent in my
bills and give me some extra cash. But now this program is more than
that..it is a way that I was able to clear all my financial problems
and finally live the life that financial freedom gives. I was in debt
over $15,000 at a ripe old age of 30. It was due to some financial
irresponsibility. I was quickly losing some of the ones that I loved,
and the stress of daily life was becoming too much! But with an
investment of just $6.00 , I was able to clear away each and every one
of my bills and live the life that only ca bre dreamed about. Now that
I have my financial freedom, nothing would make me more hapy that to
see others gain the same thing. This program must be followed very
specifically so that we all have the opportunity benefit from it. As
long as everyone plays by the rules, there's no way we can lose! The
beauty about this program is that it's worldwide..and there must be
tens of millions of people that would no doubt invest $6.00 to gain
their financial freedom!
The first time I saw this ad posted in a newsgroup I thought that
there was no way this could work..and it must be a scam. But I was in
no posision to disregard any possible income generating opportunity, so
I read on. The power of the internet and it's worldwide reach made
this program seem so easy...and that's exactly what it was.
Here are (4) easy steps to start making your future :

1. Get six (6) separate pieces of paper and write the following on each
piece of paper "Please put me on your mailing list. Get six (6) U.S
$1.00 bills and place one inside of each of the six pieces of paper so
the bill will not be seen through the envelope. Place one paper in
each of the six (6) envelopes and seal them with the dollar bill
enclosed. You now should have six (6) sealed envelopes each with a
piece of paper stating the above phrase with your name and address
written therein ( don't forget about the $1.00 bills). What you are
doing is creating a service. Mail the six (6) envelopes to the
following addresses :
a. D. Cotton, 3101 Hidden Pond Dr. #101 Raleigh, NC 27613
b. S. Camaj, PO Box 182032 Shelby Township, MI 48318-2032
c. J. Evans, 8735 Bushy Hill Dr. Santee, CA 93071
d. Isaac Kamelamela, 3325 Kalua Rd. Honolulu, HI 96816
e. Jeff McNamara, 2637 Pine St. Napa, CA 94558
f. J. Gonzalez, 3680 N. Sharon Dr. Prescott Valley, AZ 86314

2. Now take the #1 name off the list that you see above, move the other
name up (six becomes 5, 5 becomes 4 and so on.) Add you name as number
6 on the list. Change anything you need to but try to keep this
article as close to the original as possible. No wpost your amended
article to at least 200 newsgroups. ( I think there are close to 25,000
of them.) All you need is 200, but remember, the more you post, the
more income you generate. This is perfectly legal. If you have any
doubts, refer to Title 18, Section 1302 & 1341 of the Postal Lottery
Laws. Keep a copy of these directions for yourself and whenever you
need to generate some income you can re-use it. Please remember, that
this program remains successful because of the honesty and integrity of
the participants and by their carefully adhereing to the directions.
Look at it this way, if you are of integrity , the program will
continue and the income that so many others have received will come
your way. You need to retain every name and address sent to you,either
on a computer of hard copy and keep the notes people send you. This
verifies that you are truly providing a service. Also , it is a good
practice to srap the $1.00 in dark paper to avoid the risk of mial
theft. So, as each post is down loaded and the directions carefully
followed, all members will be reimbursed for their participation as a
List Devleoper with one dollar each. Your name will be moved up the
list geometrically so that when you name reaches the #1 position you
will be receiving a huge amount of cash! What an opportunity for only
six-dollars ($6.00) one-dollar ($1) for each of the six people listed
above. Send it now, add you own name to the list and you are in
business. Here are some directions on how to post to a newsgroup. You
do not need to retype this document everytime, just copy and paste it
to the newsgroup. Just remember to save it to your document folder to
access it everytime. Use Netscape or MS Internet Explorer and try
searching for various newsgroups ( on-line forums, message boards, chat
sites, discussions etc.) Visit these sites and post this article as a
new message (copy and paste. Not cut and paste.) Fill in the subject
line this will be the header that everyone sees as they scroll through
the list of postings in a particular group. Next, click the "Post"
button.
3. That's it. All you have to do is jump from newsgroup to newsgroup
and post away. After getting the hang of it, it will only take about
30 seconds for each newsgroup. Remember, the more newsgroups you post
in, the more capital you will accumulate. It is imperitive that you
post to at least 200 newsgroups. That's it. You will begin
receiving capital from around the globe within days. You may
eventually want to rent a PO Box due to the heavy volume of mail you
will be receiving. If you wish to remain anonymous you can adopt
another name to use, if it is agreeable with the postman/woman to
deliver under an anonymous condition. Make certain that all the
addresses are correct. Now the why part: Assume for example you get a
7.5% rate of response, which is very conservative. Please view the
following estimated breakdowns :
a. When you post 200 articles, 15 people will send you $1.00
b. Those 15 people post 200 articles, 225 people will mail you $1.00
c. 225 post 200 articles, 3.375 people will mail you $1.00
d. 3.375 post 200 articles, 50,625 people will mail you $1.00
e. 50,625 post 200 articles, 759,375 people will mail you $1.00

Now your name has dropped off the list, but so far you have received at
least $759,375. Not bad for a $6.00 investment (plus
postage). Simply mind boggling.
4. When you name is no longer on the list, you take the latest
posting in the newsgroups, and send out another $6.00 to the names on
the list, putting you at number 6 again. Start posting again. You have
to remember and realize the thousand of people around the globe are
joining signing on to the web everyday and reading articles just like
this one, just like you are right now. So you go get $6.00 and see it
for yourself. People have said " What if the plan is played out and
no one sends you the money?" So what?! What are the chances of the
happening when there are thousands of people who are joining everyday
and are willing to give it a try? Estimates are at 20-50,000 new
internet uses everyday, with thousands of those joining the actually
signing up for their own internet connection. Remember, play fairly
and honest and this will really work.

.
User: ""

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 01 Jan 2005 06:52:44 AM
On Sat, 01 Jan 2005 10:49:05 +0000, bloodyvikings <spam@spam.not>
wrote:

Duly forwarded to:



Might also hit

(According to the headers, that's where it came from.)

Jules wrote:

THIS IS NO JOKE!!! It really works. It was featured on Dateline and

<SNIP>
--
zamboni #2139
BAAWA Assistant to the Vice-Administrator of Malevolence
EAC Tertiary Adjunct to the Dispenser of Obfuscation.
.


User: "Mark K. Bilbo"

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 31 Dec 2004 08:15:06 PM
In our last episode
<1104539970.860470.183050@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>, Jules lept out of
the bushes shouting:

THIS IS NO JOKE!!!

Maybe not, but it *is spam...
--
Mark K. Bilbo - a.a. #1423
EAC Department of Linguistic Subversion
Alt-atheism website at: http://www.alt-atheism.org
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Being surprised at the fact that the universe
is fine tuned for life is akin to a puddle being
surprised at how well it fits its hole"
-- Douglas Adams
.

User: "stoney"

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 01 Jan 2005 08:00:22 PM
On 31 Dec 2004 16:39:30 -0800, "Jules" <jules_gonz_01@msn.com> wrote:

THIS IS NO JOKE!!! It really works.

*****, dingleberry.
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
.

User: "sanguinevikings"

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 02 Jan 2005 05:09:43 AM
This is:
What's the difference between a fundie and a supermarket trolley?
A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
.
User: "Robibnikoff"

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 02 Jan 2005 08:13:21 AM
"sanguinevikings" <spam@spam.not> wrote in message
news:JuWdnS7bmdvSS0rcRVnyhg@brightview.com...


This is:
What's the difference between a fundie and a supermarket trolley?

A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

Is a supermarket trolley the same thing as a shopping cart?
--
---------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557
.
User: "sanguinevikings"

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 02 Jan 2005 09:23:23 AM
Robibnikoff wrote:

"sanguinevikings" <spam@spam.not> wrote in message
news:JuWdnS7bmdvSS0rcRVnyhg@brightview.com...

This is:
What's the difference between a fundie and a supermarket trolley?

A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.



Is a supermarket trolley the same thing as a shopping cart?

Do your shopping carts always have one wheel whose desire is to steer it
tangentially to where you are pushing it?
.
User: "Robibnikoff"

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 02 Jan 2005 09:46:46 AM
"sanguinevikings" <spam@spam.not> wrote in message
news:xKqdnT217dhajEXcRVnytg@brightview.com...



Robibnikoff wrote:

"sanguinevikings" <spam@spam.not> wrote in message
news:JuWdnS7bmdvSS0rcRVnyhg@brightview.com...

This is:
What's the difference between a fundie and a supermarket trolley?

A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.



Is a supermarket trolley the same thing as a shopping cart?

Do your shopping carts always have one wheel whose desire is to steer it
tangentially to where you are pushing it?

LOL, yes, I believe that's a universal trait ;)
--
---------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557
.


User: "sanguinevikings"

Title: Re: This Is No Joke!! 02 Jan 2005 09:19:23 AM
Robibnikoff wrote:

"sanguinevikings" <spam@spam.not> wrote in message
news:JuWdnS7bmdvSS0rcRVnyhg@brightview.com...

This is:
What's the difference between a fundie and a supermarket trolley?

A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.



Is a supermarket trolley the same thing as a shopping cart?

Yes.
Recommended reading:
http://www.peak.org/~jeremy/dictionary/
.




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