| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"MarkA" |
| Date: |
24 Nov 2007 01:53:10 PM |
| Object: |
Too bad the bible no longer endorses skepticism... |
There are many variations of what has become known as "the Bible" in
Western civilization, deriving from different sources. One difference is
an extended version of the Old Testament Book of Daniel. Modern versions
end at chapter 12, but in the Greek Septuagint, there is an "extended
version" that includes the story of Daniel's use of skeptical
investigation to show the Babylonian King Astyages that his idol of Bel
was not a living god, as his priests claimed.
Astyages and his people worshipped an idol called Bel, and believed it to
be a living god because every day food was arrayed before it, and the
following morning, it was all gone. Daniel, however, was skeptical. So,
he and the king placed the food in front of Bel, and Daniel, clever
investigator that he was, spread ashes on the floor. The
chamber was sealed, and the next morning, as usual, the food was gone.
However, the ashes showed the footprints of the priests, their wives and
children, who entered the temple thru a secret door, and ate all the food.
In typical Old Testament fashion, Astyages has the priests, their wives
and children, all put to death. Daniel then destroys Bel and his temple.
Later in the chapter, Daniel destroys a dragon that had replaced Bel, and
was also worshiped by the people. This is too much for the people, who
demand that the King give Daniel to them to be executed. (It doesn't
explain why the Babylonians were not scared shitless of Daniel at that
point, after he had destroyed their previous two gods. I guess Daniel was
not much of a showman.) Anyway, they throw Daniel into the Lion's Den,
always a sure way of killing someone. (Apparently, none of them had read
Chapter 6 of the Book of Daniel, or they would know that doesn't work).
Daniel survives in there for 6 days, with the help of an airlift of food,
delivered by an angel carrying the prophet Habbacuc by his hair, who, in
turn, carried the food. Once the king sees him alive, he is rescued, and
all the people who put him there are thrown in, whereupon the lions
eagerly devour them.
So, what do we learn from this story? Firstly, that skeptical
investigation was alive and well in ancient Greece. Also, religionists,
then as now, get really ***** when someone shows them that their
"god" is not real. Another point is that killing women and children for
the crimes of their father is A-OK with God. Also, if you ever need to
kill a dragon, fill its mouth with a mixture of pitch, fat, and hair, and
it will explode. The details of how to get the bomb into the dragons
mouth are left as an exercise for the reader. Next, it takes 6 days for
lions to eat someone, because the king, who was quite anxious about the
outcome, didn't go to check on Daniel until the morning of the 7th day.
Finally, if you are ever stranded in a tight spot, you can count on God to
deliver you a meal while you await rescue!
--
MarkA
(This space accidentally filled in)
.
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| User: "Bill M" |
|
| Title: Re: Too bad the bible no longer endorses skepticism... |
24 Nov 2007 10:46:22 AM |
|
|
Profound!
"MarkA" <nobody@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:pan.2007.11.24.19.53.10.283921@nowhere.com...
There are many variations of what has become known as "the Bible" in
Western civilization, deriving from different sources. One difference is
an extended version of the Old Testament Book of Daniel. Modern versions
end at chapter 12, but in the Greek Septuagint, there is an "extended
version" that includes the story of Daniel's use of skeptical
investigation to show the Babylonian King Astyages that his idol of Bel
was not a living god, as his priests claimed.
Astyages and his people worshipped an idol called Bel, and believed it to
be a living god because every day food was arrayed before it, and the
following morning, it was all gone. Daniel, however, was skeptical. So,
he and the king placed the food in front of Bel, and Daniel, clever
investigator that he was, spread ashes on the floor. The
chamber was sealed, and the next morning, as usual, the food was gone.
However, the ashes showed the footprints of the priests, their wives and
children, who entered the temple thru a secret door, and ate all the food.
In typical Old Testament fashion, Astyages has the priests, their wives
and children, all put to death. Daniel then destroys Bel and his temple.
Later in the chapter, Daniel destroys a dragon that had replaced Bel, and
was also worshiped by the people. This is too much for the people, who
demand that the King give Daniel to them to be executed. (It doesn't
explain why the Babylonians were not scared shitless of Daniel at that
point, after he had destroyed their previous two gods. I guess Daniel was
not much of a showman.) Anyway, they throw Daniel into the Lion's Den,
always a sure way of killing someone. (Apparently, none of them had read
Chapter 6 of the Book of Daniel, or they would know that doesn't work).
Daniel survives in there for 6 days, with the help of an airlift of food,
delivered by an angel carrying the prophet Habbacuc by his hair, who, in
turn, carried the food. Once the king sees him alive, he is rescued, and
all the people who put him there are thrown in, whereupon the lions
eagerly devour them.
So, what do we learn from this story? Firstly, that skeptical
investigation was alive and well in ancient Greece. Also, religionists,
then as now, get really ***** when someone shows them that their
"god" is not real. Another point is that killing women and children for
the crimes of their father is A-OK with God. Also, if you ever need to
kill a dragon, fill its mouth with a mixture of pitch, fat, and hair, and
it will explode. The details of how to get the bomb into the dragons
mouth are left as an exercise for the reader. Next, it takes 6 days for
lions to eat someone, because the king, who was quite anxious about the
outcome, didn't go to check on Daniel until the morning of the 7th day.
Finally, if you are ever stranded in a tight spot, you can count on God to
deliver you a meal while you await rescue!
--
MarkA
(This space accidentally filled in)
.
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