| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Geoff" |
| Date: |
05 Dec 2006 01:48:26 AM |
| Object: |
Too much religion the past few days...*gag* |
I went back home for my brother-on-law's wake/funeral/burial this past
weekend. It really is sad to see people leaning on that crutch. Whatever
gets them through it, I suppose.
These are all Catholic folk, so the funeral is preceded by a torturous
ritual called the wake. The first was for two hours on Saturday. I was there
for what seemed to be an hour and noticed that it was only fifteen minutes.
OK. Fine. I'll be the supportive husband and just keep my yap shut. What's
two hours anyway.
Well, the next wake on Sunday was for five hours! Are you kidding me? This
was nothing less than torture for everyone. My brother-in-law's poor wife
was on the verge of decking the next person that asked her how she was
doing.
Now on Monday, the family met at the funeral home for an hour for prayers.
This was followed by a procession to a church for 90-minute mass then
another procession all the way across the city to the cemetery and more
prayers by the frigid gravesite. Then the procession wended all the way back
to the other side of the city for brunch and, mercifully, an open bar. When
the priest signaled that he wanted to make a few more prayers, you could
hear an audible groan.
The mass was the creepiest part. It was one of the churches I went to as a
kid. Typical of any Catholic church, there was a huge crucifix over the
altar, complete with bloody knees, hands, feet, and head with crown o'
thorns. I nearly puked when that sadistic ***** of a priest started waving
around that incense bell. Nearly as bad was his homily where he babbled
about how my brother-in-law loved sports and cards and that he would always
be with the wife and kids just like his dad, who died when he was young, is
with him. It really boggles the mind that someone can believe any of this
BS.
The best part of the ceremony was the eulogy delivered by my other
brother-in-law. He had us rolling with his impersonations of his brother and
his brother's friends. He said, "I never once won an argument with him. So
finally I once said, Hey, at least I got a college education. And he
replied, Great, that puts you one degree above zero." Classic one-liner. In
that speech, which took all of about 10 minutes and never once alluded to
any superstitious nonsense, he did more to heal the pain in those people's
hearts than any of the 379 prayers that blowhard priest said.
Any similarity between this description and any funeral you may have
attended this past weekend in a snowswept city in the northeastern US is
completely coincidental. I hope.
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| User: "gps" |
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| Title: Re: Too much religion the past few days...*gag* |
05 Dec 2006 04:44:54 AM |
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he did more to heal the pain in those people's
hearts than any of the 379 prayers that blowhard priest said.
You counted how many prayers? - ***** you must've been really bored.
One of my many uncles was buried recently. He was a rouge, scoundrel
and non-believer, yet he was buried with full catholic honours - and
much talk about him now being in heaven. He must've said sorry on his
death bed and jumped the queue.
As we were standing by the graveside - the priest was saying that we
would all be raised up on the last day. My brother, standing next to
me, leaned in and said in my ear.. "hang on - I thought he was already
in heaven."
There's a question I must ask a priest next time I see one. (so that'd
be never)
g.
--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com
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