| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Therion Ware" |
| Date: |
20 Oct 2005 01:00:15 PM |
| Object: |
Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
http://www.shipoffools.com/Features/2005/laugh_judgment_results.html
My favourite:
Michael took Kevin along with him to confession for moral support.
Kevin waited in the pews while Michael approached the confessional.
"Forgive me father, I have sinned, I have been with a woman."
"Ah Michael," sighed the priest, "you have grieved the Holy Spirit.
Tell me, was it Mary McCarthy?"
"I can't tell you, father," answered Michael, "I promised I wouldn't
say, but forgive me, I have sinned, I have been with a woman."
"Michael, this is not what you have been taught by Mother Church. Was
it Sinead O'Rourke?"
"I can't say, father, I promised I wouldn't, but forgive me, I have
sinned, I have been with a woman."
"Ah, Michael, your poor mother and father would be heartbroken to know
this. I wonder, was it Philomena Donnelly?"
"I can't tell you, father, I promised, forgive me, I have been with a
woman."
"Michael, my son, I harboured such high hopes for you when you were an
altar boy. Tell me, was it Therese Murphy?"
"Father, I can't say, I promised, forgive me father, I have sinned, I
have been with a woman."
The priest pronounced, "Michael, you must say 50 Our Fathers and 30
Hail Marys."
"Thank you, father," a relieved Michael acknowledged, and went back to
the pews where his mate Kevin was waiting.
"Michael, Michael, what did the father say?"
"He gave me 50 Our Fathers, 30 Hail Marys and four good leads."
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 08:59:01 AM |
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Hey Therion!
That was not one op the top 10 most offensive relelgious jokes.
Than was number 7 if the tp 10 funniest relegious jokes!
I found out the offensive jokes were mainly about Catholic priests,
and they were all very short.
The latters doesn't suprise me
As all religious jokes are offensive
you don't need more than:
"Do you know the joke about God?"
and all geniunely religious theists should be offended.
Think about it
Peter van Velzen
October 2005
Amstelveen
The Netherlands
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| User: "chibiabos" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 08:26:18 AM |
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In article <cjmfl1tgu2pe2oru69k00ur7v3vkfa6gvo@4ax.com>, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote:
The priest was driving the rabbi to an interfaith conference when he
misjudged a curve and crashed his brand new Audi into a brick wall. The
Audi was totalled but, miraculously, both the priest and the rabbi
escaped without a scratch.
"Gosh and begorra," the priest exclaimed at their good fortune. "The
good Lord must've been watching over us, dear rabbi."
"Yes, it is true. Yahweh was merciful today,' replied the rabbi.
At that moment, a bottle of Mogen-David belonging to the rabbi rolled
from the smoking wreckage of the Audi.
The priest spotted the unbroken bottle of wine. "Aye, look there,
rabbi! 'Tis another miracle! We must drink this wine to give praise to
the holy father for sparing our lives!"
The rabbi watched as the priest scooped up the MD, broke its seal, and
drank half the bottle in a single gulp.
When the priest finished drinking, he handed the half-empty bottle to
the rabbi, who, smelling the heavy wine on the priest's breath, smiled
and said, "No thanks. I think I'll just wait for the police."
-chib
--
Member of S.M.A.S.H.
Sarcastic Middle-aged Atheists with a Sense of Humor
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| User: "Doc Smartass" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 10:19:48 PM |
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chibiabos <chib@nospam.com> wrote in news:211020050626184015%
chib@nospam.com:
<snip>
When the priest finished drinking, he handed the half-empty bottle to
the rabbi, who, smelling the heavy wine on the priest's breath, smiled
and said, "No thanks. I think I'll just wait for the police."
heh.
Heard this in a Billy Conelly standup:
So this man is taking his first solo parachute flight. He talks to the
guy teaching the classes:
"What happens if my parachute doesn't open?"
"If your primary canopy fails to develop," the instructor says, "You have
a reserve canopy that is triggered by pulling the red handle on your
chest, there." He points to the handle.
"But what if the second one fails?"
"It won't happen...but if it does, then you should pray to Allah."
So the plane goes up, the others in the class do their jumps, and our man
goes to the door and stares down...then jumps.
Seconds pass in free-fall.
He pulls his main 'chute handle.
Nothing.
"Oh, *****!"
He fumbles around, trying not to look at the big planet getting bigger,
and finds the reserve pull-handle. YANK!
Nothing.
"Oohhhh, *****! Bloody hell, what now? Oh! Allah, please, I beg you, I've
been a Christian all me life, but I could use your help right now!"
And from nowhere a big black hand appears and grabs him carefully,
conducting him safely to the ground.
Our man collapses to his knees. "Oh, thank Christ I'm safe!"
And from out of nowhere a big black foot comes down and stomps him flat.
--
Doc Smartass XP - New Interface, Same Old *****
Brought to you by...
The Catholic Church. No, we don't like gays.
But if you're a pedo, you're PRIEST material!!
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| User: "Budikka666" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
20 Oct 2005 05:14:44 PM |
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In the interests of furthering inter-denominational brotherhood, the
local Mullah and the Rabbi take the new Catholic Priest with them on
their next fishing trip to a small lake just ouside of town.
After about 20 minutes, the Rabbi jumps up and says, "Goodness, I can't
believe I forgot my yarmulke. I'd better get it - I can't be
bareheaded and God looking down on me!", and with that, he steps out of
the boat and walks across the water to the shore, retrieves his
yarmulke and returns the same way. The Catholic priest is aghast that
a Jew, even a rabbi, is able to equal one of the most celebrated feats
of his Lord, but he doesn't want to pollute the brotherhood, so he says
nothing.
After a half hour or so, the Mullah jumps up and says, "Goodness, I
forgot my prayer mat! I have to pray in an hour - I'd better get it!",
and with that, he steps out of the boat and walks out and back across
the water exactly like the rabbi.
The Catholic priest is astounded. He starts to sweat. He can't
believe both these heathens have walked across the water. Now he feels
he has to emulate it otherwise his religious influence will dissappear
down the toilet.
He bides his time thinking of a good excuse, and then announces, "Oh, I
left some photographs of my little boy in the car. I'd better go put
them back in my wallet!", and with that, he steps over the side of the
boat and promptly sinks above his head.
The rabbi glances at the mullah, sharing a look of patient disbelief
and the mullah says, "I think we need to tell him about the stepping
stones...."
Budikka
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| User: "Uncle Buck" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
20 Oct 2005 01:45:20 PM |
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My favorite (I don't know if it's on the page you linked to or not, but it
_should_ be, imho... <G>):
Q: Why did Jesus die on the cross?
A: He forgot the safe word.
Gets 'em every time. :-)
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| User: "Les Hellawell" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 05:05:30 AM |
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On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 14:45:20 -0400, Uncle Buck
<UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote:
My favorite (I don't know if it's on the page you linked to or not, but it
_should_ be, imho... <G>):
Q: Why did Jesus die on the cross?
A: He forgot the safe word.
Gets 'em every time. :-)
Failed to get me. What is the safe word?
Les Hellawell with blank look
Greetings from:
YORKSHIRE The White Rose County
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| User: "Uncle Buck" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 06:22:45 AM |
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On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 11:05:30 +0100, Les Hellawell
<myshredder@leswell.freeuk.com> wrote:
On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 14:45:20 -0400, Uncle Buck
<UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote:
My favorite (I don't know if it's on the page you linked to or not, but it
_should_ be, imho... <G>):
Q: Why did Jesus die on the cross?
A: He forgot the safe word.
Gets 'em every time. :-)
Failed to get me. What is the safe word?
Les Hellawell with blank look
Ahhhh... Well, you see, there's this big ol' bad ol' BDSM "scene" and stuff,
where people get beaten, whipped, tortured, etc... etc... etc... all in the name
of "fun". Some people really get into the role-playing and like to act like
they're really being tortured or murdered or what have you. That can lead to
some awkward situations where people are pretending to want it to end when they
really don't, or really wanting it to end and nobody knows they're not
pretending. So "safewords" were invented. It works like this:
droog: "Pound the crap out of me even if I ask you to stop!"
mistress: "What if you _really_ want me to stop? How will I know?"
droog: "If I'm just saying, 'Stop! Oh, god, please stop!' I don't really mean
it. If I really mean it, I'll say <safeword>".
HTH,HAND. :-)
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 08:22:04 AM |
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"Uncle Buck" <UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote in message
news:hjjhl1praaiinvg2fs3rbkm0jku925jqgf@4ax.com...
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 11:05:30 +0100, Les Hellawell
<myshredder@leswell.freeuk.com> wrote:
snip
Failed to get me. What is the safe word?
Les Hellawell with blank look
Ahhhh... Well, you see, there's this big ol' bad ol' BDSM "scene" and
stuff,
where people get beaten, whipped, tortured, etc... etc... etc... all in
the name
of "fun". Some people really get into the role-playing and like to act
like
they're really being tortured or murdered or what have you. That can lead
to
some awkward situations where people are pretending to want it to end when
they
really don't, or really wanting it to end and nobody knows they're not
pretending. So "safewords" were invented. It works like this:
droog: "Pound the crap out of me even if I ask you to stop!"
mistress: "What if you _really_ want me to stop? How will I know?"
droog: "If I'm just saying, 'Stop! Oh, god, please stop!' I don't really
mean
it. If I really mean it, I'll say <safeword>".
Oooookay. I'm not sure if I want to know how you know this ;)
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557
Science doesn't burn people at the stake for disagreeing - Vic Sagerquist
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| User: "Elf M. Sternberg" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 04:20:15 PM |
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"Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> writes:
Failed to get me. What is the safe word?
Les Hellawell with blank look
Ahhhh... Well, you see, there's this big ol' bad ol' BDSM "scene" and
stuff,
where people get beaten, whipped, tortured, etc... etc... etc... all in
the name
of "fun". Some people really get into the role-playing and like to act
like
they're really being tortured or murdered or what have you. That can lead
to
some awkward situations where people are pretending to want it to end when
they
really don't, or really wanting it to end and nobody knows they're not
pretending. So "safewords" were invented. It works like this:
droog: "Pound the crap out of me even if I ask you to stop!"
mistress: "What if you _really_ want me to stop? How will I know?"
droog: "If I'm just saying, 'Stop! Oh, god, please stop!' I don't really
mean
it. If I really mean it, I'll say <safeword>".
Oooookay. I'm not sure if I want to know how you know this ;)
Hey, my kids have safewords. That way they know the difference
between "stop tickling me!" and "really stop tickling me!"
Elf
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
22 Oct 2005 09:55:36 AM |
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In <3rs8btFksa24U1@individual.net>, "Robibnikoff"
<witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote:
"Uncle Buck" <UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote in message
news:hjjhl1praaiinvg2fs3rbkm0jku925jqgf@4ax.com...
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 11:05:30 +0100, Les Hellawell
<myshredder@leswell.freeuk.com> wrote:
snip
Failed to get me. What is the safe word?
Les Hellawell with blank look
Ahhhh... Well, you see, there's this big ol' bad ol' BDSM "scene" and
stuff,
where people get beaten, whipped, tortured, etc... etc... etc... all in
the name
of "fun". Some people really get into the role-playing and like to act
like
they're really being tortured or murdered or what have you. That can
lead
to
some awkward situations where people are pretending to want it to end
when
they
really don't, or really wanting it to end and nobody knows they're not
pretending. So "safewords" were invented. It works like this:
droog: "Pound the crap out of me even if I ask you to stop!" mistress:
"What if you _really_ want me to stop? How will I know?" droog: "If
I'm just saying, 'Stop! Oh, god, please stop!' I don't really
mean
it. If I really mean it, I'll say <safeword>".
Oooookay. I'm not sure if I want to know how you know this ;)
I blame the Internet!
(Now, excuse me, my downloads are almost done...)
--
Mark K. Bilbo
--------------------------------------------------
"We're angry, Mr. President, and we'll be angry long
after our beloved city and surrounding parishes have
been pumped dry. Our people deserved rescuing.
Many who could have been were not. That's to the
government's shame."
http://www.nola.com/
"FEMA email warned of disaster"
http://makeashorterlink.com/?C5332250C
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| User: "Uncle Buck" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 01:34:49 PM |
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On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 09:22:04 -0400, "Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com>
wrote:
"Uncle Buck" <UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote in message
news:hjjhl1praaiinvg2fs3rbkm0jku925jqgf@4ax.com...
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 11:05:30 +0100, Les Hellawell
<myshredder@leswell.freeuk.com> wrote:
snip
Failed to get me. What is the safe word?
Les Hellawell with blank look
Ahhhh... Well, you see, there's this big ol' bad ol' BDSM "scene" and
stuff,
where people get beaten, whipped, tortured, etc... etc... etc... all in
the name
of "fun". Some people really get into the role-playing and like to act
like
they're really being tortured or murdered or what have you. That can lead
to
some awkward situations where people are pretending to want it to end when
they
really don't, or really wanting it to end and nobody knows they're not
pretending. So "safewords" were invented. It works like this:
droog: "Pound the crap out of me even if I ask you to stop!"
mistress: "What if you _really_ want me to stop? How will I know?"
droog: "If I'm just saying, 'Stop! Oh, god, please stop!' I don't really
mean
it. If I really mean it, I'll say <safeword>".
Oooookay. I'm not sure if I want to know how you know this ;)
I read it in the "Rainbow Whip". I buy it for the educational and informative
articles, you see. ;-)
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 02:09:03 PM |
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"Uncle Buck" <UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote in message
news:docil1he598bvolpdva38m32vl8euu8amf@4ax.com...
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 09:22:04 -0400, "Robibnikoff"
<witchypoo@broomstick.com>
wrote:
"Uncle Buck" <UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote in message
news:hjjhl1praaiinvg2fs3rbkm0jku925jqgf@4ax.com...
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 11:05:30 +0100, Les Hellawell
<myshredder@leswell.freeuk.com> wrote:
snip
Failed to get me. What is the safe word?
Les Hellawell with blank look
Ahhhh... Well, you see, there's this big ol' bad ol' BDSM "scene" and
stuff,
where people get beaten, whipped, tortured, etc... etc... etc... all in
the name
of "fun". Some people really get into the role-playing and like to act
like
they're really being tortured or murdered or what have you. That can
lead
to
some awkward situations where people are pretending to want it to end
when
they
really don't, or really wanting it to end and nobody knows they're not
pretending. So "safewords" were invented. It works like this:
droog: "Pound the crap out of me even if I ask you to stop!"
mistress: "What if you _really_ want me to stop? How will I know?"
droog: "If I'm just saying, 'Stop! Oh, god, please stop!' I don't
really
mean
it. If I really mean it, I'll say <safeword>".
Oooookay. I'm not sure if I want to know how you know this ;)
I read it in the "Rainbow Whip". I buy it for the educational and
informative
articles, you see. ;-)
Uh huh. And my dad bought "Playboy" for the articles too. What a
coinky-dink! ;)
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557
Science doesn't burn people at the stake for disagreeing - Vic Sagerquist
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| User: "Colin Day" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 10:48:54 PM |
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Robibnikoff wrote:
Uh huh. And my dad bought "Playboy" for the articles too. What a
coinky-dink! ;)
My high-school physics teacher told the students to bring any articles on
physics or physicists that we could find. Is it MY fault that Edward Teller
did an interview in the August '79 Playboy?
Colin Day aa #1500
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| User: "Gregory Gadow" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 08:07:11 AM |
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Uncle Buck wrote:
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 11:05:30 +0100, Les Hellawell
<myshredder@leswell.freeuk.com> wrote:
On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 14:45:20 -0400, Uncle Buck
<UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote:
My favorite (I don't know if it's on the page you linked to or not, but it
_should_ be, imho... <G>):
Q: Why did Jesus die on the cross?
A: He forgot the safe word.
Gets 'em every time. :-)
Failed to get me. What is the safe word?
Les Hellawell with blank look
Ahhhh... Well, you see, there's this big ol' bad ol' BDSM "scene" and stuff,
where people get beaten, whipped, tortured, etc... etc... etc... all in the name
of "fun". Some people really get into the role-playing and like to act like
they're really being tortured or murdered or what have you. That can lead to
some awkward situations where people are pretending to want it to end when they
really don't, or really wanting it to end and nobody knows they're not
pretending. So "safewords" were invented. It works like this:
droog: "Pound the crap out of me even if I ask you to stop!"
mistress: "What if you _really_ want me to stop? How will I know?"
droog: "If I'm just saying, 'Stop! Oh, god, please stop!' I don't really mean
it. If I really mean it, I'll say <safeword>".
And to help keep people from forgetting the safe word, it is usually just that:
"safeword." Not that *I* would know anything about that scene, mind you.
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
http://www.serv.net/~techbear
"[W]e have never held that moral disapproval, without any other asserted
state interest, is a sufficient rationale under the Equal Protection
Clause to justify a law that discriminates among groups of persons."
- Sandra Day O`Conner, _Lawrence v Texas_
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=us&vol=000&invol=02-102
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| User: "Les Hellawell" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 11:36:50 AM |
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On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 06:07:11 -0700, Gregory Gadow <techbear@serv.net>
wrote:
Uncle Buck wrote:
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 11:05:30 +0100, Les Hellawell
<myshredder@leswell.freeuk.com> wrote:
On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 14:45:20 -0400, Uncle Buck
<UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote:
My favorite (I don't know if it's on the page you linked to or not, but it
_should_ be, imho... <G>):
Q: Why did Jesus die on the cross?
A: He forgot the safe word.
Gets 'em every time. :-)
Failed to get me. What is the safe word?
Les Hellawell with blank look
Ahhhh... Well, you see, there's this big ol' bad ol' BDSM "scene" and stuff,
where people get beaten, whipped, tortured, etc... etc... etc... all in the name
of "fun". Some people really get into the role-playing and like to act like
they're really being tortured or murdered or what have you. That can lead to
some awkward situations where people are pretending to want it to end when they
really don't, or really wanting it to end and nobody knows they're not
pretending. So "safewords" were invented. It works like this:
droog: "Pound the crap out of me even if I ask you to stop!"
mistress: "What if you _really_ want me to stop? How will I know?"
droog: "If I'm just saying, 'Stop! Oh, god, please stop!' I don't really mean
it. If I really mean it, I'll say <safeword>".
And to help keep people from forgetting the safe word, it is usually just that:
"safeword." Not that *I* would know anything about that scene, mind you.
Nor me. Yes I remember reading about it now. Thanks.
If it "Get's 'em everytime' is this implying everybody over these is
into that sort of stuff :-)
Les Hellawell
Greetings from:
YORKSHIRE The White Rose County
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| User: "Uncle Buck" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 01:26:56 PM |
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On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 17:36:50 +0100, Les Hellawell
<myshredder@leswell.freeuk.com> wrote:
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 06:07:11 -0700, Gregory Gadow <techbear@serv.net>
wrote:
Uncle Buck wrote:
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 11:05:30 +0100, Les Hellawell
<myshredder@leswell.freeuk.com> wrote:
On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 14:45:20 -0400, Uncle Buck
<UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote:
My favorite (I don't know if it's on the page you linked to or not, but it
_should_ be, imho... <G>):
Q: Why did Jesus die on the cross?
A: He forgot the safe word.
Gets 'em every time. :-)
Failed to get me. What is the safe word?
Les Hellawell with blank look
Ahhhh... Well, you see, there's this big ol' bad ol' BDSM "scene" and stuff,
where people get beaten, whipped, tortured, etc... etc... etc... all in the name
of "fun". Some people really get into the role-playing and like to act like
they're really being tortured or murdered or what have you. That can lead to
some awkward situations where people are pretending to want it to end when they
really don't, or really wanting it to end and nobody knows they're not
pretending. So "safewords" were invented. It works like this:
droog: "Pound the crap out of me even if I ask you to stop!"
mistress: "What if you _really_ want me to stop? How will I know?"
droog: "If I'm just saying, 'Stop! Oh, god, please stop!' I don't really mean
it. If I really mean it, I'll say <safeword>".
And to help keep people from forgetting the safe word, it is usually just that:
"safeword." Not that *I* would know anything about that scene, mind you.
Nor me. Yes I remember reading about it now. Thanks.
If it "Get's 'em everytime' is this implying everybody over these is
into that sort of stuff :-)
Actually, I don't quite remember _why_ I added that comment. I think I meant it
more along the lines of it _offends_ "them" every time (those who would be
offended by religious jokes). No, everybody's not into that sort of thing over
here. At least not that they'd admit to it. There's a certain "thrill" in
keeping it under wraps, so to speak. ;-)
.
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 02:12:48 PM |
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on 21 Oct 2005 in alt.atheism, dear sweet Uncle Buck
(UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com) made the light shine upon us with this:
Failed to get me. What is the safe word?
Les Hellawell with blank look
Ahhhh... Well, you see, there's this big ol' bad ol' BDSM "scene"
and stuff, where people get beaten, whipped, tortured, etc... etc...
etc... all in the name of "fun". Some people really get into the
role-playing and like to act like they're really being tortured or
murdered or what have you. That can lead to some awkward situations
where people are pretending to want it to end when they really don't,
or really wanting it to end and nobody knows they're not pretending.
So "safewords" were invented. It works like this:
droog: "Pound the crap out of me even if I ask you to stop!"
mistress: "What if you _really_ want me to stop? How will I know?"
droog: "If I'm just saying, 'Stop! Oh, god, please stop!' I don't
really mean it. If I really mean it, I'll say <safeword>".
HTH,HAND. :-)
What if the safeword was "thirsty"? Heh...
--
Uncle Vic
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
Today's warm fuzzy example of Christian Love:
"1:19 And the LORD was with Judah; and he (JUDAH)drave out the
inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants
of the valley, because they had chariots of iron. IT WAS JUDAH YOU
DUMBFUCK.
Go back to masturbating to porn sites, you goddammned idiot."
-- Mikal 606
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| User: "Steve Knight" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
20 Oct 2005 08:37:40 PM |
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On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 19:00:15 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote:
http://www.shipoffools.com/Features/2005/laugh_judgment_results.html
A Priest, a Rabbi and a Lawyer walk into a bar and the Bartender
says, 'What is this, a joke!?'
Warlord Steve
BAAWA
www.sonic.net/~wooly
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| User: "Therion Ware" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 01:08:12 AM |
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On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 01:37:40 GMT in alt.atheism, Steve Knight (Steve
Knight <wooly@sonic.netttt>) said, directing the reply to alt.atheism
On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 19:00:15 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote:
http://www.shipoffools.com/Features/2005/laugh_judgment_results.html
A Priest, a Rabbi and a Lawyer walk into a bar and the Bartender
says, 'What is this, a joke!?'
lol.
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| User: "Budikka666" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 04:24:32 AM |
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Steve Knight wrote:
On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 19:00:15 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote:
http://www.shipoffools.com/Features/2005/laugh_judgment_results.html
A Priest, a Rabbi and a Lawyer walk into a bar and the Bartender
says, 'What is this, a joke!?'
Warlord Steve
BAAWA
www.sonic.net/~wooly
That's the winner right there! LoL!
B.
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| User: "raven1" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
20 Oct 2005 03:17:36 PM |
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On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 19:00:15 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote:
A priest and a rabbi are on a plane that develops engine trouble, and
starts to go down. The priest turns to the rabbi and says "well, this
looks like it's it, so we might as well have some fun before we die.
There's a bunch of Boy Scouts back in the coach section, let's go back
there and ***** 'em!" The rabbi turns to the priest with a puzzled
look, and says "out of what?".
---
"This is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause"
- Padme Amidala, Episode III
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| User: "lkjahds7yu3q4" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
20 Oct 2005 04:42:04 PM |
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"raven1" <quoththeraven@nevermore.com> wrote in message
news:lmufl11h7rqu98e978i3ull5tti0268dka@4ax.com...
On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 19:00:15 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote:
A priest and a rabbi are on a plane that develops engine trouble, and
starts to go down. The priest turns to the rabbi and says "well, this
looks like it's it, so we might as well have some fun before we die.
There's a bunch of Boy Scouts back in the coach section, let's go back
there and ***** 'em!" The rabbi turns to the priest with a puzzled
look, and says "out of what?".
---
"This is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause"
- Padme Amidala, Episode III
im sorry, two replies: wont happen again
"no, sir. when they go down into the mine,
everyone would still be alive. there would be
no shocking memories and the prevailing emotion
will be one of nostalgia for those left behind combined
with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!
ha! (slap)
(thud) ... (thud, thud, thud)"\
doctor... dr.strangelove
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| User: "Therion Ware" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 01:06:41 AM |
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On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 23:42:04 +0200 in alt.atheism, lkjahds7yu3q4
("lkjahds7yu3q4" <lkjahds7yu3q4@reality.gov>) said, directing the
reply to alt.atheism
"raven1" <quoththeraven@nevermore.com> wrote in message
news:lmufl11h7rqu98e978i3ull5tti0268dka@4ax.com...
On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 19:00:15 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote:
A priest and a rabbi are on a plane that develops engine trouble, and
starts to go down. The priest turns to the rabbi and says "well, this
looks like it's it, so we might as well have some fun before we die.
There's a bunch of Boy Scouts back in the coach section, let's go back
there and ***** 'em!" The rabbi turns to the priest with a puzzled
look, and says "out of what?".
---
"This is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause"
- Padme Amidala, Episode III
im sorry, two replies: wont happen again
"no, sir. when they go down into the mine,
everyone would still be alive. there would be
no shocking memories and the prevailing emotion
will be one of nostalgia for those left behind combined
with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!
ha! (slap)
(thud) ... (thud, thud, thud)"\
doctor... dr.strangelove
"This is the war room gentlemen, you can't fight in here...".
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| User: "lkjahds7yu3q4" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 02:00:46 AM |
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"Therion Ware" <autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote in message
news:na1hl1ttf1b36vmh2ub0h8346shh54ugfc@4ax.com...
On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 23:42:04 +0200 in alt.atheism, lkjahds7yu3q4
("lkjahds7yu3q4" <lkjahds7yu3q4@reality.gov>) said, directing the
reply to alt.atheism
"raven1" <quoththeraven@nevermore.com> wrote in message
news:lmufl11h7rqu98e978i3ull5tti0268dka@4ax.com...
On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 19:00:15 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote:
A priest and a rabbi are on a plane that develops engine trouble, and
starts to go down. The priest turns to the rabbi and says "well, this
looks like it's it, so we might as well have some fun before we die.
There's a bunch of Boy Scouts back in the coach section, let's go back
there and ***** 'em!" The rabbi turns to the priest with a puzzled
look, and says "out of what?".
---
"This is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause"
- Padme Amidala, Episode III
im sorry, two replies: wont happen again
"no, sir. when they go down into the mine,
everyone would still be alive. there would be
no shocking memories and the prevailing emotion
will be one of nostalgia for those left behind combined
with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!
ha! (slap)
(thud) ... (thud, thud, thud)"\
doctor... dr.strangelove
"This is the war room gentlemen, you can't fight in here...".
missing the point...
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| User: "Gregory Gadow" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 08:14:39 AM |
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Therion Ware wrote:
On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 23:42:04 +0200 in alt.atheism, lkjahds7yu3q4
("lkjahds7yu3q4" <lkjahds7yu3q4@reality.gov>) said, directing the
reply to alt.atheism
"raven1" <quoththeraven@nevermore.com> wrote in message
news:lmufl11h7rqu98e978i3ull5tti0268dka@4ax.com...
On Thu, 20 Oct 2005 19:00:15 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote:
A priest and a rabbi are on a plane that develops engine trouble, and
starts to go down. The priest turns to the rabbi and says "well, this
looks like it's it, so we might as well have some fun before we die.
There's a bunch of Boy Scouts back in the coach section, let's go back
there and ***** 'em!" The rabbi turns to the priest with a puzzled
look, and says "out of what?".
---
"This is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause"
- Padme Amidala, Episode III
im sorry, two replies: wont happen again
"no, sir. when they go down into the mine,
everyone would still be alive. there would be
no shocking memories and the prevailing emotion
will be one of nostalgia for those left behind combined
with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!
ha! (slap)
(thud) ... (thud, thud, thud)"\
doctor... dr.strangelove
"This is the war room gentlemen, you can't fight in here...".
I've read that "Dr. Strangelove" was sold to George C. Scott as a serious
drama, and that it was not until *after* all his scenes were in the can that
he was told it was a parody of a serious drama. That is why Scott was able to
utter his lines with such conviction, doing his Oscar-winning best to
recreate his Patton role. He admitted afterwards that, had he known the true
nature of the movie, he could never have been so convincingly sincere.
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
http://www.serv.net/~techbear
"[W]e have never held that moral disapproval, without any other asserted
state interest, is a sufficient rationale under the Equal Protection
Clause to justify a law that discriminates among groups of persons."
- Sandra Day O`Conner, _Lawrence v Texas_
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=us&vol=000&invol=02-102
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| User: "Katt" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 12:24:22 PM |
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"Gregory Gadow" <techbear@serv.net> wrote in message
news:4358E9BF.3491D71C@serv.
I've read that "Dr. Strangelove" was sold to George C. Scott as a serious
drama, and that it was not until *after* all his scenes were in the can
that
he was told it was a parody of a serious drama. That is why Scott was able
to
utter his lines with such conviction, doing his Oscar-winning best to
recreate his Patton role. He admitted afterwards that, had he known the
true
nature of the movie, he could never have been so convincingly sincere.
I've read this too -- but just think of how he delivers the line (I'm
quoting from memory): "Mr President: we must not allowwwww .... a mine ...
shaft ... gap!" I find it hard to believe he was saying that 'straight'...
Know what I mean...?
I much prefer the more believable story of the gay subtext of 'Ben Hur':
----------
Charlton Heston mentions in his autobiography ("Charlton Heston's
Hollywood") that Gore Vidal was an early contributor on the shooting script,
but he was let go after he tried to inject too much of a homosexual flavor
in the relationship between Ben-Hur and Messala. Heston believes, however,
that Vidal got the last laugh by instructing Stephen Boyd that the
underlined homosexuality was still in the film, and that all of Boyd's early
scenes were played with that motivation in mind. Vidal more or less verifies
this during his appearance in The Celluloid Closet (1995), a documentary
about the history of homosexuality in cinema. Director William Wyler, who
liked the gay subtext idea, was the one who decided to tell only Boyd,
because Heston "wouldn't be able to handle it".
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052618/trivia
----------
:-)
Katt.
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| User: "csr223" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 12:40:14 PM |
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Gregory Gadow wrote:
I've read that "Dr. Strangelove" was sold to George C. Scott as a serious
drama, and that it was not until *after* all his scenes were in the can that
he was told it was a parody of a serious drama. That is why Scott was able to
utter his lines with such conviction, doing his Oscar-winning best to
recreate his Patton role. He admitted afterwards that, had he known the true
nature of the movie, he could never have been so convincingly sincere.
I see. And which direction through time do you suppose he was
traveling, when he "recreated" his Patton role in "Strangelove"?
I think its a mistake to think that Scott had no sense of humor,
looking at the entire body of his work, not just the dramas. He played
a good crazy in "They Might Be Giants" and his role in "The Hospital"
wasn't too serious.
Jeff
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| User: "Fred Stone" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 03:49:28 PM |
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"csr223" <addesigner@earthlink.net> wrote in
news:1129916414.901978.132010@g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
Gregory Gadow wrote:
I've read that "Dr. Strangelove" was sold to George C. Scott as a
serious drama, and that it was not until *after* all his scenes were
in the can that he was told it was a parody of a serious drama. That
is why Scott was able to utter his lines with such conviction, doing
his Oscar-winning best to recreate his Patton role. He admitted
afterwards that, had he known the true nature of the movie, he could
never have been so convincingly sincere.
I see. And which direction through time do you suppose he was
traveling, when he "recreated" his Patton role in "Strangelove"?
I think its a mistake to think that Scott had no sense of humor,
looking at the entire body of his work, not just the dramas. He played
a good crazy in "They Might Be Giants" and his role in "The Hospital"
wasn't too serious.
The way I heard it Kubrick started out trying to make a serious film but
the cast kept cracking up and he realized it would work better as a
parody.
--
Fred Stone
aa# 1369
"The next time someone on the left wants a date for
withdrawal from Iraq, ask them for a date to give
up on diplomacy with Iran. The Iraq date will be a month
after the Iran date which will be 1 day before Iran is invaded."
- Stehpinkeln
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| User: "Gregory Gadow" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 03:33:42 PM |
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csr223 wrote:
Gregory Gadow wrote:
I've read that "Dr. Strangelove" was sold to George C. Scott as a serious
drama, and that it was not until *after* all his scenes were in the can that
he was told it was a parody of a serious drama. That is why Scott was able to
utter his lines with such conviction, doing his Oscar-winning best to
recreate his Patton role. He admitted afterwards that, had he known the true
nature of the movie, he could never have been so convincingly sincere.
I see. And which direction through time do you suppose he was
traveling, when he "recreated" his Patton role in "Strangelove"?
I did a quick google and yeah, I got the movies reversed :-/ Good catch.
I also found a few sites that echoed what I wrote above, and others saying that
Scott knew it was a parody but decided to play it straight anyway. Still other
sites claim that Scott played it straight in the first few takes, all serious;
Kubric then asked him to do some scenes played "over the top" and it was those
second takes that were used in the movie.
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
http://www.serv.net/~techbear
"[W]e have never held that moral disapproval, without any other asserted
state interest, is a sufficient rationale under the Equal Protection
Clause to justify a law that discriminates among groups of persons."
- Sandra Day O`Conner, _Lawrence v Texas_
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=us&vol=000&invol=02-102
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| User: "Gregory Gadow" |
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| Title: Re: Top 10 Most Offensive Relgious Jokes.... |
21 Oct 2005 03:39:00 PM |
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Gregory Gadow wrote:
csr223 wrote:
Gregory Gadow wrote:
I've read that "Dr. Strangelove" was sold to George C. Scott as a serious
drama, and that it was not until *after* all his scenes were in the can that
he was told it was a parody of a serious drama. That is why Scott was able to
utter his lines with such conviction, doing his Oscar-winning best to
recreate his Patton role. He admitted afterwards that, had he known the true
nature of the movie, he could never have been so convincingly sincere.
I see. And which direction through time do you suppose he was
traveling, when he "recreated" his Patton role in "Strangelove"?
I did a quick google and yeah, I got the movies reversed :-/ Good catch.
I also found a few sites that echoed what I wrote above, and others saying that
Scott knew it was a parody but decided to play it straight anyway. Still other
sites claim that Scott played it straight in the first few takes, all serious;
Kubric then asked him to do some scenes played "over the top" and it was those
second takes that were used in the movie.
Ah! Found it! It was Slim Pickens who was told this was a serious movie, not George
C. Scott. My bad.
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
http://www.serv.net/~techbear
"[W]e have never held that moral disapproval, without any other asserted
state interest, is a sufficient rationale under the Equal Protection
Clause to justify a law that discriminates among groups of persons."
- Sandra Day O`Conner, _Lawrence v Texas_
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=us&vol=000&invol=02-102
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