| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"~Glorious Appearing~~" |
| Date: |
01 Sep 2005 03:29:28 PM |
| Object: |
VERA WANTS YOUR CONVERTION |
Vera's Story
- for you -
I am addressing myself to you, as I know you are open-minded
and good-humoured, and will not condemn me for things that I really did
not know better at that time. The following is really a quite crazy
story and nothing for people who don't believe there might be something
outside of the world that is revealed to us over our senses. But it
might be interesting for you, as I know you really want to find out
about the secrets that make up what we call "life".
I had to find out that our senses actually grant us only a
rather small, restricted access to our world, and I found this out after
I had dealt with all those things that science can offer to us
extensively.
Weird enough, in retrospective I know that God has never
really left me, and I do not know why. He must love me very much. To say
that in advance - God is everything for me. It IS a love affair (but
nothing sexual as someone thought here).
I would also like to apologize to you in advance, dear
readers, if you cannot follow my thoughts, as several things have
become so normal to my way of thinking that I sometimes forget that you
might not understand me, because you have not experienced what I have
experienced. It is so much enclosed in my ideology that I might not
notice. In this case do not hesitate to ask me about more details.
When I was born, there was Mummy and Daddy, my sister Angel
and my brother Michael (names changed). My father had been a Roman
Catholic before he dared to marry my mother, who was a Protestant - so
he was excommunicated from the church, and church never used to be a
subject at home. But when my brother became 14, he was confirmed at the
Lutheran State's Church. At that time I was five, and I started to
become interested in God and went to Sunday church - alone - as often as
I could to listen to the Gospel. I could not get enough of that. Weird,
I cannot really remember that my sister was confirmed, too, but she must
have been. Maybe they did not want to take me there - I was a very vivid
child, you see.
I went to school and found out that I knew more than others.
The first day I went there I told my mother afterwards that two girls
one row in front of me would stay down. I was right with that. This kind
of intuitive knowledge about people should follow me for the rest of my
life. I know who people are after they say some sentences. Too bad -
this intuition never worked when I tried to find a partner, however.
I loved to learn at school, especially in the first years.
We were rather poor in post-war Germany, there were no flats, and so we
lived in a small flat with two rooms only. I did not even own a bed of
my own, but I did not mind much, as I could choose where to sleep at
night. I loved to sleep in my father's bed. My father and me, we were a
big team, maybe because I did not know what was wrong with him. He was a
gambler, and our family was burdened with his addiction. My parents both
smoked, my mother had to work full-time, and I was a child that was more
in the way than anything else, I guess. My sister did not like me,
because she often had to look after me when she rather wanted to go out
with friends.
I learned to play alone, and as we lived in the town's
centre, there was not much to do for me. I was a child that loved to be
outside, and it was a pain for me if I had to stay in all day when it
rained. I did not need much - no toys, just some stones or screws or
maybe a tree to climb on - that could make me happy. Weird, I had no
playmates, but in my fantasy there were always some around me.
But there were some children where my grandmother lived.
There was Kaethe who told me there was no God. Oh, you should have seen
me how much I tried to explain that to her... "Look", I said, "all is
from God. Just take a table, and see that it is made of wood, and wood
is from trees, and trees - where do they come from? They are there, but
God made them. Everything there is comes from God!" Kaethe did not
really believe me, but had no better answer, either.
There were other children there, but I was not allowed to
play with them. They played some "doctor games", and one day I did not
obey my granny and played with them, but in the end I was angry about
them for a reason I cannot remember anymore, and so I went to my granny
and told her about the games the children were playing there. Weird,
somehow I knew that this was not really allowed. My granny said, "Oh
dear, don't ever go with them - if you do, God will not give you any
children one day."
That was hard. She did not know what she had done by telling
me such a nonsense, and it should follow me throughout the years to
come. I knew: God would never give me any children.
I must have been the same age when my brother had said that
if things would continue the way they did, there would be another World
War within the next five years. Oh dear - my brother was so intelligent,
and I never doubted that he was right. This and all the stories my
granny had told about World War II... They had been bombed out twice. My
grandfather did not have to fight in the army, because his father had
died in World War I and he had to care for his mother. He was not liked
much by the Nazis because he had not become a member in their party. But
he was responsible for the distribution of materials to build houses or
for coal and such things, because he worked for the town. This brought
him incarnation later, and he was kept single in a cell first, and in a
camp. But in the end he was fully rehabilitated by the American
investigators, but he never really recovered from the time in prison.
I will also never forget the story my granny told me about
the horse she found in the street. It had been burned and black after a
bombing night. I loved horses so much. I think I would have died for
this horse if I could have made it alive again by that. My heart was
crying over that story, and I could hardly think of it without feeling
the pain. And the idea of another war had kept me - and I started to
pray in the evenings in bed, night after night, and nobody knew. I had
so much fear, and I prayed that God might help me to sleep. I could not
sleep, but always had to think about the horse and the war, and that I
would never get children and was a very bad child. One day I made up my
mind that I would go to our "Bundeskanzler" in case a war was ahead, and
tell him that this would be very bad, and that he should not allow this
to happen. I wanted to convince him personally, and beg him not to allow
this...
I am not sure, but maybe my prayers were heard. There has
not been another World War, and I am still praying for that. Maybe if we
all do...
When I was about eight, we moved to a suburb where I was
very happy. Though I was alone very often, I did not mind that much. I
spent most of the time outside in the wood, preferably at a secret place
I called the "Quelle" - the "Fountain".
One day after a night at my granny's place (my grandfather
had died when I was five, and I had not met my father's parents at all)
she said we would go home by tram. I loved to go by tram, and so I
whistled on the way, and sang songs. But my granny stopped me, and told
me to be quiet. We came home, and all the family was there. I knew
something was very wrong. I missed my father... But nobody really told
me what had happened. After a while I could guess... he had died. I was
eleven then. About half a year later my granny died as well.
So I was in touch with death rather early. I did not really
believe the people were dead. I knew they were not, they were just not
there anymore, and that was bitter. I did not ask God then.
Things changed a little. My father was not there anymore,
and my mother had not thought of denying the heritage, and so all the
debitors came and wanted money from her. But there was no money, and she
offered to pay them all back in small sums, and they all accepted that.
She had to work a lot, and I was alone at home, and after a while she
dated again, and so I was also alone at night. I led a very free life,
and freedom still means much to me.
When I was 13 my mother had met a man who should become
my step-father. He was very rich, and we had a better life then. He
drank a lot, and this was a problem, but somehow we got along well. They
married when I was 15, and he always wanted to adopt me, but my mother
was too just. She did not allow that, or he would have had to adopt my
sister and my brother as well, but they had a family of their own at
that time already, so my step-father denied that.
My "terrible teens" were really terrible. I had
started to smoke at 13, and I always had a heart-ache because I fell in
love with the wrong boys all the time. Many liked me, but I did not like
them, and vice versa. Tears, tears, tears...
My mother got a heavy heart attack when I was 17, and
that dominated her life - and ours - from then on. We travelled a lot. I
am glad that I could visit so many places in the world. I was in Israel,
in Egypt, in Spain, Bulgaria, Yugoslavia, Italy, Austria, Greece...
Then I had a boy-friend who was a little older than
me. He lived in the village where we had a caravan, and one day I got a
call at home. A friend told me that my boy-friend had had a horrible
accident. He had been in a car driven by someone who had drunk and no
driving license when the police wanted to stop him. But the driver
preferred to speed up - and crashed into the wall of a house. My
boy-friend was dead at once, I was told. I saw this driver two weeks
later drinking again at a pub as if nothing had happened.
I had really loved George - that was his name, and I swore
never to forget him. I really did not forget him for more than ten
years. It was as if my life was at an end, too, and I thought it did not
matter anymore, whatever I did.
I had another boy-friend, but was not really behind this
relation, and so I left him - poor one - after five years. I met
another man whom I married later. But shortly before we married, he
became very ill. He begged me not to let him down and marry him, and so
I married him after living with him for about three years without being
married, although it was a very bad situation to marry. I did not know
what it was at first, but then it was clear that he was bi-polar. His
depression was all my first marriage was about. I really loved him very
much, but could not really help him. He did not want to see friends or
go out, just be at home, me the only one he could stand around him.
After two years he got a little better, but his father got the same
illness. This is some comfort for me - it is hard for family members not
to feel guilty. But we really loved one another before he became ill,
all of a sudden.
When we married, my mother and my step-father separated and
later got divorced, because he had met another woman... and then my
husband met another woman in a sauna and betrayed me, and so I fired him
and got divorced very soon. My mother had become even more ill with
cancer, and she had to have a surgery. I pleaded to God to save her from
that, but He remained silent. So I thought there is no God, maybe a God
far away, but I could not know who He was, or if He was only some form
of energy or an alien. My life was a ruin - everything had turned upside
down, and I had just started to study when I married. Then my mother
died of cancer after a long period of suffering. She died at the age of
58 on her birthday. I came to the hospital in the morning with a bundle
of red amaryllis - her favourite flowers, but she had fallen into a coma
already. But strange, she opened her eyes to look at me for some
seconds, and then she fell back into the coma, and never woke up again.
There was snow on that 4th of December, and I will never forget the
flowers in contrast to the white landscape. I loved her so much...
I was so lonesome in this world after she was not there
anymore, and did not know how to make it in a world where you could not
trust anybody. I went over the asphalt pavement with the little dog my
mother had left and said to some God in Heaven I really did not believe
in: "God, if you are there, give me a sign that times will change for me
some day! If you exist, then let me find a cloverleaf with four leaves
here on spot!!" I turned my face to the ground, and what did I see
growing next to a dandelion at the wall of a house? Right you are! It
was a cloverleaf with four leaves, which are very, very seldom - growing
on the pavement! I thought I could not trust my eyes! I picked it up,
dried and pressed it and put it into my purse where it still is, not in
a good shape anymore, because I found it more than twenty years ago.
Funny - God reminded me of it later the seconds before I decided to give
my life to Jesus.
I lost the ground. I went out every night, and I did not
care much about things... I did not end my studies, because I could not
afford to drive to the university. I stopped the studies in the middle
of the exams which I had passed - half of them. But I did not register
for the rest, and the time to finish the studies simply ran out.
Some years later I met my second husband who drank a lot.
But I did not care much, and I drank a lot with him at that time. Then
the phone rang one day again...
It was my sister. She informed me that my niece had had an
accident.
When I heard she was dead I shouted, "Why? Why? Why have you
not taken me? Why have you not taken me? Why?"
I was very angry with God. He had taken away everything from
me! My life was nothing worth at all - so why not me? He had not even
granted me own children, taken away my family, my husband, my financial
security, and now he had even taken my niece away from me. She had heard
a noise at her car and stopped on the motorway on a sunny summer
afternoon. She had phoned the police, and on her way back to the car
another car bumped into her beautiful body after the driver had fallen
asleep. She died of shock about half an hour later.
I could not bear any more, and I cried and cried and shouted
why God had taken her. Maybe he had heard that I really meant that. I
would have changed places with my niece if that had only been possible.
I had no family anymore, no real job, no money, no hope, no desires, and
she was so young and beautiful, 20 years of age. It took some years to
get over that loss. I became pregnant that year, and I know that this
was a miracle, and God gave my son to me. My later husband could not get
any children, and it had not been the time for me to become pregnant. I
immediately knew it, though. It was certain. When I did a pregnancy test
some weeks later and it was negative, I could not believe it. But that
was just because I knew it before a test could prove it. We married
shortly after that, and my husband was also very happy to become a
father - and his parents are still happy to have a grand-child.
But too bad that my husband could not stop drinking (well, I
did), and so this marriage was a horror. I would say there was no
marriage at all, and after a while I got ill with my spine and the
sciatic nerve. This was a time when I thought about jumping from a
bridge, but fortunately it was just the idea. The pain was so heavy
then, that I thought I could not stand it. The worst thing was that I
could not sleep at night, and I could not stand, sit or lie, but only
walked, up and down, and lost so much weight that I was shocked about
that. There were also severe problems with my husband and financial
problems as well, and I did not know how to solve all of this. And here
was the baby. But then I thought I had to solve one problem after the
other...
It was really not an easy decision for me to leave my
husband, but I decided to do so right after my recovery. I had a surgery
at the intervertebral discs that had pressed on the nerve, and - praise
the Lord! - I recovered fast, and then moved away from my husband to
raise my child alone. I do not want to go into detail about my marriage
here, and I have come over all that. But I was rather broken the first
years after that, and I wanted to stay alone for a longer time, because
I wanted to be a good mother, if I had not done much else good in my
life. But that meant to stay alone every evening, and every night, and
it meant much hardship, too.
But it also meant much time for myself. Time to think it all
over. Time to find out what was really important in life. And I
meditated much doing autogenic training which I had taught myself. I
went out much with my little son, and he was the center of my life. I
read much, mostly scientific books about the university, the evolution
theory or philosophy and such things. I wanted to know everything about
life, about this big, big puzzle, that only waited for me to be put
together. I had always talked with my mother about these things, but she
had warned me I should not worry about all of this too much, and that we
would never know... But I just did not give up.
An endless number of pieces lying there. I had to pick them
up all, but what was the sense in that?
Some were pieces which did not build the picture of life,
but just fit in to make a larger part complete. Others were much
clearer. They showed colours and objects, yes. There were white ones,
more than black ones, and that was good. But I needed all to get the
picture of truth. I really had never hoped to get something so clearly
as I got them later.
One day when I felt like sitting in a trap, very lonely,
empty and hopeless, I spoke to God again, who I did not really believe
in, and I just wanted to try out if something would happen, "God, if you
are really there, come into my life and change it!"
And that is how it all began...
The story I am telling you starts at this point, but I think
it is important to understand what had happened in my life before.
*******
I had a dream that night. I dreamed I was in the hall,
painting the walls white. There was a mess like there is when you paint
walls, but a neighbour came and rebuked me, "You are not allowed to do
what you are doing there, it is changing particles..."
I woke up and wondered what this dream might mean. Weird, I
got the answer the next night. There was a scientific TV show about
materia and anti-materia, and that they had found out to make
anti-materia visible! Hey, I was thrilled by that idea of the existence
of parallel universes, and I decided to look for literature about this,
but I did not find any. That was weird. I knew there had to be an
answer... I sat down and turned the computer on, and I imagined to write
into another parallel universe... The answers were really amazing... I
asked if I might get there... "YES" I asked if there were others....
"YES" I asked if my niece was there, maybe "Yes, she is here" - Can I
visit her? "But of course, just come over". But how could I tell her I
had no contact to my sister? "BUT YOU HAVE IT"
BANG! - that was it! I must say that I had argued with my
sister and broken the contact for a while. She wanted to tell me how to
live, but she is a very different person than me- I do not want to say
more about that, as it is not really relevant here. So I had the contact
to her all the time, yes, over our minds. It was telepathy! It was her
that had not left me in peace, so I had asked God to help me...
I decided to go and take the very next book about such
things I could get at a book shop. Strange, strange, the first book I
got there was a book with the name "Magie" - which means "magic". There
were some meditations described, and so I tried them out, and weird
enough, I succeeded right away... One day when I was meditating on
cleaning me from bad influences it happened that something like a
lightening hit me, and I really could do many things after that. I
healed people by laying hands in them. Oh dear - but if I could really
influence things and people by that... Okay, I tried it all out and
found that it worked. But I also knew that magic goes the fastest way,
and this could be oneself. If all my thoughts had an influence in this
world... I had to control them, I found, and started to do so, and
denied all the bad ideas that came into my mind. I was shocked how many
bad thoughts had passed just like that without control before. After a
while the bad ideas did not come anymore, and I must say, I was a
completely new person with much compassion for others, but also with the
feeling to have to save this world, which was also like a curse on me. I
had so much responsibility now, and if I could, was it not my duty to do
good? And I tried to save this world, very hard. I went to the highest
spot in my town, closed my eyes and visualized a wave of love leaving
me, going round the world,coming back to my place, being multiplied at
every spot where there were people open to be touched by it and pass it
away again... A world wide web spun of love that would reach everybody
in the end...
I still have a poem (in German, however, but I can translate
it) which I wrote in those days. I called it "The Wave of Love". I guess
I really started something by that.
Wave of Love
It was sent,
that wave, by her -
the wave of love.
It is flooding the earth,
coating it well -
the wave of love.
It is protecting the earth, taking it,
then piling up
at places where it can find same
and breaks there,
foaming,
just to get back to her
with stronger power
whispering:
WE ARE ONE!
And it was sent
that wave by her -
the wave of love...
First it was all very thrilling, but it also had some ugly
side effects that you saw shadows everywhere and got panic attacks. I
concentrated on aura magic and telepathy, and that worked really well.
Then I heard a voice one evening, saying, "Well, now say good-bye to all
your friends. It is time to leave..." That was so ugly and shocked me so
much that I reduced my activities, and there was no voice anymore. I
decided to use my "skills" for healing purposes only, and found that all
the other ideas to use magic were simply wrong and could do more harm
than not.
Then I met a Christian in a forum in the internet, and he
asked me if I knew that God would not want me to do these things. I had
never thought of God, I must confess, but he told me that Christians
would know about such things. I had not reckoned with that. I had
thought that e would not take me seriously at all, but he did. And I
could believe there might be God, yes. I had experienced that there are
things between heaven and earth which we cannot explain, and that there
is a spiritual world.
I was so much attracted of what he said. I could feel there
was more to it than mere words. He really seemed to live with God, and
when he spoke of that it always hit me. But if there was a living God, I
wanted to get to know him! Yes, that was what I wanted with all my
heart. And Jesus? No, I could not really say yes to a god that was a
man, that was too simple. Well, but was the truth not mostly rather
simple?
What would a god do if he wanted to contact his people?
Maybe taking the form of his creatures and live among them? Why not? And
what would a god do provided he was good? Yes, He would be like Jesus!
He would exactly do the things that Jesus did on earth. And the
miracles?
Oh, it had become so easy to believe in them after all my experiences
with magic.
And then it happened. God himself touched me with his love.
He bent down to me. He attracted me, and I could not resist this
overwhelming love. Like a magnet He drew me closer and closer to Him.
And I started reading the Bible, after so many books I had read, so many
that had led to nowhere but more questions.
Reading the Bible God spoke to me, and I could understand
that he spoke personally to me, yes, to me! He spoke to me right from
the Bible - the Words there were addressed only to me, only to me. He
showed me how people are, how I am, and how He is and who He is. And he
made it very, very clear that he loved me so much.
And I suddenly knew the truth - though I did not know the
name of my great God yet. It took me a bit longer to understand that God
had come down to earth as a man to die for me. It took me much too long.
But God was patient with me.
I surrendered my life to God being seen and heard by more
than 300 people in an evangelization at the church where I was baptized
later. I was the only one who did so that evening, and I really did not
know anyone there. I thought what God had done for me, how much he had
always loved me and how badly I had behaved against him, showing him no
love at all, not believing in Him. That was my biggest sin, yes. I had
not asked him in my life, not counted him in. I had even been into
esoteric without a single thought if he might like that idea. That was
bad. Suddenly there was just God and me. He told me: "Vera, I gave you
the cloverleaf as a sign, remember? I gave you your child, I have sent
you my love all the time - but you do not even want to know me... What
else do I have to do to make you believe in me?" I did not notice the
300 people around me who I did not know and who listened to me
confessing I wanted to give my life to Jesus. I will never forget that.
My real life started that moment. Born again, yes, a new creature. No
further looking for answers, everything was so clear now. All there is
in the Bible is true. It is true not because you might find it logical -
though it is. It is true the moment God himself speaks to you. He IS the
way, and the truth and the life, and you suddenly understand, and it is
more than just a feeling, or a believing, indeed everything is clear. It
is an impressive experience.
I am no witch anymore, of course, and I have lost all my
power and thrown away all the magic books I had. I depend completely on
God, but He mostly answers my prayers, especially if I ask for others.
God lives with me now - that is the best thing! He is there,
around me all the time, yes, all the time. His name is Jesus Christ. I
can trust him, always, I can lean back and rely on him. I know I am save
now, and I know nothing can really ever happen to me.
He is the true and living God, sent to earth to die for my
sins by His Father in Heaven, His Holy Spirit still on earth and alive
for His people.
Everybody should listen to what God is telling him...
Everybody should ask for a cloverleaf from God. He is speaking to
everybody, sending his love to everybody.
Just listen carefully...
(You can find this story with pictures on my website, too)
Peace to all of you,
~ vera ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ http://www.acc-growing-deeper.de ~
~ http://www.acc-growing-deeper.de/Israel.htm ~
~ http://www.e-sword.net ~
--
Most of my quotes are from:
http://www.carm.org/doctrine.htm http://www.carm.org/cults.htm
http://www.carm.org/apologetics.htm http://www.carm.org/seekers.htm
http://www.carm.org/atheism.htm http://www.carm.org/boards.htm
http://www.apologeticsindex.org/ http://www.christianquotes.org/
http://bible.gospelcom.net/ Let no one be found among you
who sacrifices his son or daughter in [a] the fire, who practices divination
or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who
is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Deut 18:10
http://www.christiananswers.net/
.
|
|
| User: "John Baker" |
|
| Title: Re: VERA WANTS YOUR CONVERTION |
01 Sep 2005 05:14:07 PM |
|
|
On Thu, 1 Sep 2005 20:29:28 +0000 (UTC), "~Glorious Appearing~~"
<inverclyde_uk@hotmail.com> wrote:
Vera wants you to shut the ***** up and go away while you still have an
account to post from.
Forwarded to
.
|
|
|
| User: "Mr Davis" |
|
| Title: Re: VERA WANTS YOUR CONVERTION |
01 Sep 2005 05:25:15 PM |
|
|
Hi you are surely vera's ex-husband:):):)
.
|
|
|
| User: "Sasha" |
|
| Title: Re: VERA WANTS YOUR CONVERTION |
02 Sep 2005 07:44:28 AM |
|
|
From the sounds of it, Vera's ex-husband had his bony ***** nailed to a
piece of wood a couple thousand years ago because he couldn't keep his
mouth shut.
.
|
|
|
| User: "==Glorious Appearing==" |
|
| Title: Re: VERA WANTS YOUR CONVERTION |
02 Sep 2005 07:46:49 AM |
|
|
"Sasha" <scironi@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1125665068.322540.207980@g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
From the sounds of it, Vera's ex-husband had his bony ***** nailed to a
piece of wood a couple thousand years ago because he couldn't keep his
mouth shut.
How does a bony .ss look like? Can Vera tell more about his bony .ss? Lets
be serious.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Sasha" |
|
| Title: Re: VERA WANTS YOUR CONVERTION |
02 Sep 2005 08:38:33 AM |
|
|
Lets be serious.
This from the person who believes in a mythical God-creature. Welcome
to reality, you idiotic freak.
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Sasha" |
|
| Title: Re: VERA WANTS YOUR CONVERTION |
01 Sep 2005 03:39:19 PM |
|
|
Vera wants YOU to get a dictionary and learn how to spell, you fucking
idiot.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Mr Davis" |
|
| Title: Re: VERA WANTS YOUR CONVERTION |
01 Sep 2005 03:41:30 PM |
|
|
"Sasha" <scironi@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1125607159.971650.53660@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
Vera wants YOU to get a dictionary and learn how to spell, you fucking
idiot.
No she wants you to live in the spirit of Her Lord
enjoy your self because tyhe lord of a witch is nor my Lord
.
|
|
|
| User: "David H." |
|
| Title: Re: VERA WANTS YOUR CONVERTION |
01 Sep 2005 03:49:15 PM |
|
|
"Mr Davis" <visscher@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:df7p1q$8jd$1@nwrdmz02.dmz.ncs.ea.ibs-infra.bt.com...
"Sasha" <scironi@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1125607159.971650.53660@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
Vera wants YOU to get a dictionary and learn how to spell, you
fucking
idiot.
No she wants you to live in the spirit of Her Lord
enjoy your self because tyhe lord of a witch is nor my Lord
I see you doing the following after saying the above literally:
( Twitch-twitch - nyuk nyuk nyuk - sneeze. )
<trimmed to just aa>
David H.
aa #2217
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
|
|
