| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Elroy Willis" |
| Date: |
30 Aug 2005 04:40:27 PM |
| Object: |
Warlord on Trial |
From:
http://www.elroysemporium.com/screenplays/dayincourt/index.html
"A middle-aged man, STEVE KNIGHT, is about to be sworn in to give his
testimony in court. A 12-person jury is to his left, and at least 25
people are in the court audience in front of him. He runs his fingers
through his long brown hair and adjusts his glasses as he's about to
be sworn in. The bailiff holds out a Bible and asks him to swear on
it.
BAILIFF
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
truth, so help you God?
STEVE
(emphatically)
No!
GASPS of shock and disbelief are heard from the jury and other people
in the courtroom...
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
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| User: "Jenny6833A" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
30 Aug 2005 04:54:27 PM |
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Elroy Willis wrote:
From:
http://www.elroysemporium.com/screenplays/dayincourt/index.html
QUOTE
FADE IN:
INT. COURTROOM - SOUTHERN USA
A middle-aged man, STEVE KNIGHT, is about to be sworn in to give his
testimony in court. A 12-person jury is to his left, and at least 25
people are in the court audience in front of him. He runs his fingers
through his long brown hair and adjusts his glasses as he's about to be
sworn in. The bailiff holds out a Bible and asks him to swear on it.
BAILIFF
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
truth, so help you God?
UNQUOTE
In real life, the rest goes like this.
STEVE
(calmly)
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the proceedings go on.
:-)
Jenny
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| User: "Elroy Willis" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
30 Aug 2005 05:24:32 PM |
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Jenny6833A <Jenny6833A@aol.com> wrote in alt.atheism
Elroy Willis wrote:
From:
http://www.elroysemporium.com/screenplays/dayincourt/index.html
QUOTE
FADE IN:
INT. COURTROOM - SOUTHERN USA
A middle-aged man, STEVE KNIGHT, is about to be sworn in to give his
testimony in court. A 12-person jury is to his left, and at least 25
people are in the court audience in front of him. He runs his fingers
through his long brown hair and adjusts his glasses as he's about to be
sworn in. The bailiff holds out a Bible and asks him to swear on it.
BAILIFF
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
truth, so help you God?
UNQUOTE
In real life, the rest goes like this.
STEVE
(calmly)
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the proceedings go on.
:-)
Are you a court reporter, perchance?
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
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| User: "J Forbes" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
30 Aug 2005 07:26:58 PM |
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Elroy Willis wrote:
Jenny6833A <Jenny6833A@aol.com> wrote in alt.atheism
In real life, the rest goes like this.
STEVE
(calmly)
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the proceedings go on.
:-)
Are you a court reporter, perchance?
i served on a jury last year in AZ, the oath included the "so help you
god" thing. I said I would not swear to that, because I don't know
what god is. So the judge asked if I would affirm that I would tell
the truth, and I did, matter settled.
Hopefully at least one person thought at least for a few seconds about
the fact nobody else knows what god is either!
JIm
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| User: "Nancy Norton" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
31 Aug 2005 04:40:26 AM |
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J Forbes wrote:
Elroy Willis wrote:
Jenny6833A <Jenny6833A@aol.com> wrote in alt.atheism
In real life, the rest goes like this.
STEVE
(calmly)
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the proceedings go on.
:-)
Are you a court reporter, perchance?
i served on a jury last year in AZ, the oath included the "so help you
god" thing. I said I would not swear to that, because I don't know
what god is. So the judge asked if I would affirm that I would tell
the truth, and I did, matter settled.
Hopefully at least one person thought at least for a few seconds about
the fact nobody else knows what god is either!
JIm
I *almost* served on a jury earlier this year in CO (there was a
mistrial declared after jury selection but before the trial started).
The jury pool had to take an oath to be honest during the selection
process and then those of us selected as jurors had to take an oath that
we'd do our best (I forget the exact words). Anyway, neither oath
included any mention of god. I was quite pleased as I didn't know what
to expect. I don't know whether the witnesses would have had to swear on
the bible or say "so help me god" but I kind of doubt it. The form of
the oath we jurors took would work fine for anyone.
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| User: "Elroy Willis" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
31 Aug 2005 07:39:24 PM |
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Nancy Norton <nospam@nospam.net> wrote in alt.atheism
J Forbes wrote:
Elroy Willis wrote:
Jenny6833A <Jenny6833A@aol.com> wrote in alt.atheism
In real life, the rest goes like this.
STEVE
(calmly)
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the proceedings go on.
:-)
Are you a court reporter, perchance?
i served on a jury last year in AZ, the oath included the "so help you
god" thing. I said I would not swear to that, because I don't know
what god is. So the judge asked if I would affirm that I would tell
the truth, and I did, matter settled.
What'd you do exactly? Raise your hand and speak up during the
swearing in ceremony? How many people were being sworn in?
Hopefully at least one person thought at least for a few seconds about
the fact nobody else knows what god is either!
I *almost* served on a jury earlier this year in CO (there was a
mistrial declared after jury selection but before the trial started).
The jury pool had to take an oath to be honest during the selection
process and then those of us selected as jurors had to take an oath that
we'd do our best (I forget the exact words). Anyway, neither oath
included any mention of god. I was quite pleased as I didn't know what
to expect. I don't know whether the witnesses would have had to swear on
the bible or say "so help me god" but I kind of doubt it. The form of
the oath we jurors took would work fine for anyone.
The people in Rome used to swear on the planet Jove/Jupiter, the
shining father in the sky, which is where the phrase "by Jove" comes
from. :)
I'm skeptical that J Forbes did what he said he did above, but I'd
sure like to see a screenplay of it or something like it. Maybe
someone swearing on Jove instead of God, to see what would happen...
"Inherit The Wind" and the court scenes in it are some of my favorite
alltime scenes in the movies I've seen which use the Bible in the
courtroom.
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
.
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| User: "Nancy Norton" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
02 Sep 2005 08:01:51 PM |
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Elroy Willis wrote:
Nancy Norton <nospam@nospam.net> wrote in alt.atheism
J Forbes wrote:
Elroy Willis wrote:
Jenny6833A <Jenny6833A@aol.com> wrote in alt.atheism
In real life, the rest goes like this.
STEVE
(calmly)
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the proceedings go on.
:-)
Are you a court reporter, perchance?
i served on a jury last year in AZ, the oath included the "so help you
god" thing. I said I would not swear to that, because I don't know
what god is. So the judge asked if I would affirm that I would tell
the truth, and I did, matter settled.
What'd you do exactly? Raise your hand and speak up during the
swearing in ceremony? How many people were being sworn in?
Hopefully at least one person thought at least for a few seconds about
the fact nobody else knows what god is either!
I *almost* served on a jury earlier this year in CO (there was a
mistrial declared after jury selection but before the trial started).
The jury pool had to take an oath to be honest during the selection
process and then those of us selected as jurors had to take an oath that
we'd do our best (I forget the exact words). Anyway, neither oath
included any mention of god. I was quite pleased as I didn't know what
to expect. I don't know whether the witnesses would have had to swear on
the bible or say "so help me god" but I kind of doubt it. The form of
the oath we jurors took would work fine for anyone.
The people in Rome used to swear on the planet Jove/Jupiter, the
shining father in the sky, which is where the phrase "by Jove" comes
from. :)
I didn't know that! Very interesting.
I'm skeptical that J Forbes did what he said he did above, but I'd
sure like to see a screenplay of it or something like it. Maybe
someone swearing on Jove instead of God, to see what would happen...
I'm not sure what I would have done if the oaths we had to take had
included "so help me god". They were group oaths - I might have just
left it out without calling any attention to myself (and I doubt anyone
would have noticed). However, if someone were going to insist that I
swear on the bible in order to sit on a jury, I suspect that jury would
have to get along without me.
"Inherit The Wind" and the court scenes in it are some of my favorite
alltime scenes in the movies I've seen which use the Bible in the
courtroom.
It's been so long since I've seen it, that I don't remember it very well.
.
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| User: "chibiabos" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
30 Aug 2005 06:20:37 PM |
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In article <eg59h1d6opuuq2ios1lntk5uo64jp2ou1t@4ax.com>, Elroy Willis
<elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote:
Jenny6833A <Jenny6833A@aol.com> wrote in alt.atheism
Elroy Willis wrote:
From:
http://www.elroysemporium.com/screenplays/dayincourt/index.html
QUOTE
FADE IN:
INT. COURTROOM - SOUTHERN USA
A middle-aged man, STEVE KNIGHT, is about to be sworn in to give his
testimony in court. A 12-person jury is to his left, and at least 25
people are in the court audience in front of him. He runs his fingers
through his long brown hair and adjusts his glasses as he's about to be
sworn in. The bailiff holds out a Bible and asks him to swear on it.
BAILIFF
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
truth, so help you God?
UNQUOTE
In real life, the rest goes like this.
STEVE
(calmly)
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the proceedings go on.
:-)
Are you a court reporter, perchance?
Jenny shouldn't be too hard to spot. She's the only naked English
teacher in the courtroom. :)
-chib
--
Member of SMASH
Sarcastic Middle-aged Atheists with a Sense of Humor
(email: change out to in)
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| User: "Elroy Willis" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
31 Aug 2005 02:35:32 AM |
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chibiabos <chib@outreach.com> wrote in alt.atheism
Elroy Willis <elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote:
Jenny6833A <Jenny6833A@aol.com> wrote in alt.atheism
Elroy Willis wrote:
From:
http://www.elroysemporium.com/screenplays/dayincourt/index.html
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the proceedings go on.
:-)
Are you a court reporter, perchance?
Jenny shouldn't be too hard to spot. She's the only naked English
teacher in the courtroom. :)
I added some sex to the scene to spice things up. :)
STEVE
AHEM. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like
those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
GASPS are heard around the courtroom. A few faces turn red.
JUDGE
Stop right there!
STEVE
Why?
JUDGE
(angry)
I won't have that kind of smut read in my courtroom!
STEVE
But it's straight from the Bible you want me to swear on.
JUDGE
What relevance does it have to this case?
STEVE
My wife ran off with another man who has a bigger penis than I do and
she wants alimony from me. That's why I'm here, your honor.
:))
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
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| User: "Elroy Willis" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
31 Aug 2005 02:54:44 AM |
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chibiabos <chib@outreach.com> wrote in alt.atheism
Elroy Willis <elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote:
Jenny6833A <Jenny6833A@aol.com> wrote in alt.atheism
Elroy Willis wrote:
From:
http://www.elroysemporium.com/screenplays/dayincourt/index.html
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the proceedings go on.
:-)
Are you a court reporter, perchance?
Jenny shouldn't be too hard to spot. She's the only naked English
teacher in the courtroom. :)
I added some sex to the scene to spice things up. :)
STEVE
AHEM. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like
those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
GASPS are heard around the courtroom. A few faces turn red.
JUDGE
Stop right there!
STEVE
Why?
JUDGE
(angry)
I won't have that kind of smut read in my courtroom!
STEVE
But it's straight from the Bible you want me to swear on.
JUDGE
What relevance does it have to this case?
STEVE
My wife ran off with another man who has a bigger penis than I do and
she wants alimony from me. That's why I'm here, your honor.
:))
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
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| User: "Gregory Gadow" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
30 Aug 2005 08:33:14 PM |
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chibiabos wrote:
In article <eg59h1d6opuuq2ios1lntk5uo64jp2ou1t@4ax.com>, Elroy Willis
<elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote:
Jenny6833A <Jenny6833A@aol.com> wrote in alt.atheism
Elroy Willis wrote:
From:
http://www.elroysemporium.com/screenplays/dayincourt/index.html
QUOTE
FADE IN:
INT. COURTROOM - SOUTHERN USA
A middle-aged man, STEVE KNIGHT, is about to be sworn in to give his
testimony in court. A 12-person jury is to his left, and at least 25
people are in the court audience in front of him. He runs his fingers
through his long brown hair and adjusts his glasses as he's about to be
sworn in. The bailiff holds out a Bible and asks him to swear on it.
BAILIFF
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
truth, so help you God?
UNQUOTE
In real life, the rest goes like this.
STEVE
(calmly)
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the proceedings go on.
:-)
Are you a court reporter, perchance?
Jenny shouldn't be too hard to spot. She's the only naked English
teacher in the courtroom. :)
Naked English? Where is that dialect spoken?
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
http://www.serv.net/~techbear
"Without faith we might relapse into scientific or rational thinking,
which leads by a slippery slope toward constitutional democracy."
- Robert Anton Wilson
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| User: "chibiabos" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
30 Aug 2005 08:52:27 PM |
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In article <4314C28A.72DFEC5@serv.net>, Gregory Gadow
<techbear@serv.net> wrote:
chibiabos wrote:
In article <eg59h1d6opuuq2ios1lntk5uo64jp2ou1t@4ax.com>, Elroy Willis
<elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote:
Jenny6833A <Jenny6833A@aol.com> wrote in alt.atheism
Elroy Willis wrote:
From:
http://www.elroysemporium.com/screenplays/dayincourt/index.html
QUOTE
FADE IN:
INT. COURTROOM - SOUTHERN USA
A middle-aged man, STEVE KNIGHT, is about to be sworn in to give his
testimony in court. A 12-person jury is to his left, and at least 25
people are in the court audience in front of him. He runs his fingers
through his long brown hair and adjusts his glasses as he's about to be
sworn in. The bailiff holds out a Bible and asks him to swear on it.
BAILIFF
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
truth, so help you God?
UNQUOTE
In real life, the rest goes like this.
STEVE
(calmly)
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the proceedings go on.
:-)
Are you a court reporter, perchance?
Jenny shouldn't be too hard to spot. She's the only naked English
teacher in the courtroom. :)
Naked English? Where is that dialect spoken?
I never said I didn't need instruction, myself. :)
-chib
--
Member of SMASH
Sarcastic Middle-aged Atheists with a Sense of Humor
(email: change out to in)
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| User: "Apostate" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
30 Aug 2005 08:53:46 PM |
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On Tue, 30 Aug 2005 13:33:14 -0700, Gregory Gadow <techbear@serv.net> wrote:
chibiabos wrote:
In article <eg59h1d6opuuq2ios1lntk5uo64jp2ou1t@4ax.com>, Elroy Willis
<elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote:
Jenny6833A <Jenny6833A@aol.com> wrote in alt.atheism
Elroy Willis wrote:
From:
http://www.elroysemporium.com/screenplays/dayincourt/index.html
QUOTE
FADE IN:
INT. COURTROOM - SOUTHERN USA
A middle-aged man, STEVE KNIGHT, is about to be sworn in to give his
testimony in court. A 12-person jury is to his left, and at least 25
people are in the court audience in front of him. He runs his fingers
through his long brown hair and adjusts his glasses as he's about to be
sworn in. The bailiff holds out a Bible and asks him to swear on it.
BAILIFF
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
truth, so help you God?
UNQUOTE
In real life, the rest goes like this.
STEVE
(calmly)
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the proceedings go on.
:-)
Are you a court reporter, perchance?
Jenny shouldn't be too hard to spot. She's the only naked English
teacher in the courtroom. :)
Naked English? Where is that dialect spoken?
In The Land That Euphemisms Forgot.
--
/Apostate
alt.atheist #1931 I've found it!
BAAWA Knife AND SMASHer
EAC Supernumerary Deputy Director, Department of Redundancy Department
plonked by Lani_girl, first post; Billions Served!
I doubt, therefore I might be.
e-mail to lower-case only
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: Warlord on Trial |
01 Sep 2005 08:41:29 PM |
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On Tue, 30 Aug 2005 16:40:27 GMT, Elroy Willis
<elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote:
From:
http://www.elroysemporium.com/screenplays/dayincourt/index.html
Dang! And here I thought the world court had Shrub in custody.
"A middle-aged man, STEVE KNIGHT, is about to be sworn in to give his
testimony in court. A 12-person jury is to his left, and at least 25
people are in the court audience in front of him. He runs his fingers
through his long brown hair and adjusts his glasses as he's about to
be sworn in. The bailiff holds out a Bible and asks him to swear on
it.
BAILIFF
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
truth, so help you God?
STEVE
(emphatically)
No!
GASPS of shock and disbelief are heard from the jury and other people
in the courtroom...
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
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