| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Fredric L. Rice" |
| Date: |
31 Dec 2005 11:10:53 PM |
| Object: |
White House Accidentally Screens 'Brokeback Mountain' |
Andy Borowitz: White House Accidentally Screens 'Brokeback Mountain'
Cheney, Rove Injured in Stampede for Exit
By: Andy Borowitz
Published: Dec 12, 2005 at 07:21
http://www.yubanet.com/artman/publish/article_28958.shtml
In what the official White House spokesman today called "a regrettable
mistake," the White House had a private screening last night of the
critically acclaimed gay western, "Brokeback Mountain."
One day after the ill-fated screening, spokesman Scott McClellan said that
the White House had launched a "full investigation" to find out how
"Brokeback," which features actors Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal as gay
ranch hands, found its way into the White House screening room.
According to one source, however, the decision to screen the film was made
by the president himself, who thought that the two ranch hands would be
mainly occupied with clearing brush, as he himself is fond of doing at his
ranch in Crawford, Texas.
Additionally, the source said, the film was directed by Ang Lee, who
directed one of President Bush's all-time favorite films, "The Hulk."
Eyewitnesses at the screening said that seconds into the film's first
explicit man-on-man love scene, shrieks of alarm rose up from the audience
and there was a frantic stampede for the exit.
In the ensuing chaos, vice president ***** Cheney reportedly trampled top
advisor Karl Rove, with both men reportedly receiving medical attention for
injuries sustained in the fracas.
Mr. McClellan said that the White House would take "better care" to make
sure that films with gay content do not find their way into the screening
room, adding, "We feel more optimistic about tonight's double feature,
'Capote' and 'Rent.'"
Elsewhere, a new report shows that U.S. students' test scores declined 50%
in the last month, largely due to the introduction of the Xbox 360.
Andy Borowitz writes a daily humor column at www.borowitzreport.com and is
the author of a new book, The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers.
---
http://www.ElmerFudd.US/ http://www.rightard.org/ http://www.thedarkwind.org/
"SUVs don't burn down by themselves." -- Some Elf
"What? You're not dead yet? Man, I gotta get a bigger voodoo doll!" - Barb
"Someone give bush a ***** so we can finally impeach him" -- AVet4Peace
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: White House Accidentally Screens 'Brokeback Mountain' |
01 Jan 2006 01:23:26 AM |
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Fredric L. Rice wrote:
Andy Borowitz: White House Accidentally Screens 'Brokeback Mountain'
Cheney, Rove Injured in Stampede for Exit
By: Andy Borowitz
Published: Dec 12, 2005 at 07:21
http://www.yubanet.com/artman/publish/article_28958.shtml
In what the official White House spokesman today called "a regrettable
mistake," the White House had a private screening last night of the
critically acclaimed gay western, "Brokeback Mountain."
One day after the ill-fated screening, spokesman Scott McClellan said that
the White House had launched a "full investigation" to find out how
"Brokeback," which features actors Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal as gay
ranch hands, found its way into the White House screening room.
McLellan must've stayed around for the ending credits.
According to one source, however, the decision to screen the film was made
by the president himself, who thought that the two ranch hands would be
mainly occupied with clearing brush, as he himself is fond of doing at his
ranch in Crawford, Texas.
Additionally, the source said, the film was directed by Ang Lee, who
directed one of President Bush's all-time favorite films, "The Hulk."
What was it Shrub said about not being a details-person, that he
only skims when reading...?
It's undoubtedly a parody, but it doesn't read like one.
Bob Dog
Atheist #153 = 1^3 + 5^3 + 3^3
EAC's chief cook and brainwasher
-----
"Stop throwing the Constitution in my face,
it's just a goddamned piece of paper!"
- George W. Bush, US President
"I've never seen a pro-choicer bomb any churches. Have you?"
- Aaron Kinney, speaking on Eric Rudolph
"The best thing about the Left Behind books is the way the
non-Christians get their guts pulled out by God."
- 15-year-old fundamentalist fan of the books
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| User: "Fredric L. Rice" |
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| Title: Re: White House Accidentally Screens 'Brokeback Mountain' |
01 Jan 2006 11:25:56 AM |
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wrote:
Fredric L. Rice wrote:
http://www.yubanet.com/artman/publish/article_28958.shtml
McLellan must've stayed around for the ending credits.
He and "Jeff Gannon."
---
http://www.ElmerFudd.US/ http://www.rightard.org/ http://www.thedarkwind.org/
"SUVs don't burn down by themselves." -- Some Elf
"What? You're not dead yet? Man, I gotta get a bigger voodoo doll!" - Barb
"Someone give bush a ***** so we can finally impeach him" -- AVet4Peace
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| User: "The Ghost In The Machine" |
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| Title: Re: White House Accidentally Screens 'Brokeback Mountain' |
01 Jan 2006 11:00:04 AM |
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In alt.atheism,
<>
wrote
on 31 Dec 2005 23:23:26 -0800
<1136100206.237512.89900@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>:
Fredric L. Rice wrote:
Andy Borowitz: White House Accidentally Screens 'Brokeback Mountain'
Cheney, Rove Injured in Stampede for Exit
By: Andy Borowitz
Published: Dec 12, 2005 at 07:21
http://www.yubanet.com/artman/publish/article_28958.shtml
In what the official White House spokesman today called "a regrettable
mistake," the White House had a private screening last night of the
critically acclaimed gay western, "Brokeback Mountain."
One day after the ill-fated screening, spokesman Scott McClellan said that
the White House had launched a "full investigation" to find out how
"Brokeback," which features actors Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal as gay
ranch hands, found its way into the White House screening room.
McLellan must've stayed around for the ending credits.
According to one source, however, the decision to screen the film was made
by the president himself, who thought that the two ranch hands would be
mainly occupied with clearing brush, as he himself is fond of doing at his
ranch in Crawford, Texas.
Additionally, the source said, the film was directed by Ang Lee, who
directed one of President Bush's all-time favorite films, "The Hulk."
What was it Shrub said about not being a details-person, that he
only skims when reading...?
It's undoubtedly a parody, but it doesn't read like one.
A Google coughed up
http://forums.military.com/groupee/forums/a/tpc/f/409192893/m/1030065730001
which marks it as satire.
Phew. :-) For a moment I thought this White House was terminally
clueless.
Oh wait...
[.sigsnip]
--
#191,
It's still legal to go .sigless.
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| User: "Uncle Buck" |
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| Title: Re: White House Accidentally Screens 'Brokeback Mountain' |
01 Jan 2006 12:01:13 PM |
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I won't tell you how far into the article I had to read before I realized it was
satire. Really, most of it was quite (quite _sadly_, I might add) believable.
I don't know whether it should be kudos for the writer or condolences for the
country...
On Sun, 01 Jan 2006 05:10:53 GMT, (Fredric L. Rice) wrote:
Andy Borowitz: White House Accidentally Screens 'Brokeback Mountain'
Cheney, Rove Injured in Stampede for Exit
By: Andy Borowitz
Published: Dec 12, 2005 at 07:21
http://www.yubanet.com/artman/publish/article_28958.shtml
In what the official White House spokesman today called "a regrettable
mistake," the White House had a private screening last night of the
critically acclaimed gay western, "Brokeback Mountain."
One day after the ill-fated screening, spokesman Scott McClellan said that
the White House had launched a "full investigation" to find out how
"Brokeback," which features actors Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal as gay
ranch hands, found its way into the White House screening room.
According to one source, however, the decision to screen the film was made
by the president himself, who thought that the two ranch hands would be
mainly occupied with clearing brush, as he himself is fond of doing at his
ranch in Crawford, Texas.
Additionally, the source said, the film was directed by Ang Lee, who
directed one of President Bush's all-time favorite films, "The Hulk."
Eyewitnesses at the screening said that seconds into the film's first
explicit man-on-man love scene, shrieks of alarm rose up from the audience
and there was a frantic stampede for the exit.
In the ensuing chaos, vice president ***** Cheney reportedly trampled top
advisor Karl Rove, with both men reportedly receiving medical attention for
injuries sustained in the fracas.
Mr. McClellan said that the White House would take "better care" to make
sure that films with gay content do not find their way into the screening
room, adding, "We feel more optimistic about tonight's double feature,
'Capote' and 'Rent.'"
Elsewhere, a new report shows that U.S. students' test scores declined 50%
in the last month, largely due to the introduction of the Xbox 360.
Andy Borowitz writes a daily humor column at www.borowitzreport.com and is
the author of a new book, The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers.
---
http://www.ElmerFudd.US/ http://www.rightard.org/ http://www.thedarkwind.org/
"SUVs don't burn down by themselves." -- Some Elf
"What? You're not dead yet? Man, I gotta get a bigger voodoo doll!" - Barb
"Someone give bush a ***** so we can finally impeach him" -- AVet4Peace
--
L8r,
Uncle Buck
aa#88
BAAWA Knight
"The gap betwixt civility and barbarism is the width of a tooth."
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