Why Secular People Still Want Christian Funerals?

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Topic:	Religions > Atheism
User:	"words of truth"
Date:	03 Nov 2005 10:37:35 PM
Object:	Why Secular People Still Want Christian Funerals?

Why secular people still want Christian funerals
Church Times of London
August 5, 2005
Alan Billings
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/1462898/posts
APART FROM the horseracing tipster on the BBC's Today programme, no
one has a worse record for predictions than the sociologist of
religion. The classical sociologists expected organised religion to
wither on the vine. Religion might be the heart of a heartless world
and the opiate of the people, but, once the people were liberated and
prosperous, there would be no need for supernatural consolations.
As societies modernised, and human life was organised in an
increasingly rational manner, superstition (for which read religion)
would disappear. In global terms, none predicted the pentecostal and
charismatic surge within Christianity. None foresaw the Islamic
revival. All would find the contemporary religious culture of the
United Sates inexplicable.
The sociology of religion in this country is likely to be an even more
unreliable guide, since it is incorrigibly Europe-centred, and, as a
result, still largely in the grip of those earlier theories of
secularisation. This seems to make it incurious about significant
pieces of evidence that fly in the face of secular assumptions.
For example, if we are so secular, why does the religious funeral
persist? Not just most, but the overwhelming majority, of funerals are
religious. This seems to me an important question, and one that clergy
need to think hard about as well, if we are to continue to offer
effective ministry to the bereaved.
FOR THE PAST two years, I have been thinking around this question. As I
have visited people in my Kendal parish to arrange the funeral of loved
ones, I have tried to tease out what it is that they think a religious
funeral offers, as opposed to a secular one.
Of course, it is open for someone to say that when someone dies there
is little choice. It is the vicar or nobody. Everything happens so
swiftly, and you are emotionally so fragile, that there simply isn't
time to look around for a secular alternative.
There is some truth in this, though not much. It is true that people
would have to be very quick off the mark in Kendal to avoid a religious
funeral, since there are such good working relationships between
funeral directors and clergy that clergy can be visiting the bereaved
within hours of a death being notified. These days, though, almost
everyone lives into advanced old age; we have many years in which to
think about our obsequies, and to make our wishes known.
Also, in our consumerist society, I am sure that if the demand for
secular funerals were there, a national alternative to the religious
funeral would by now have emerged. So why does the religious funeral
persist?
There is space to suggest two reasons. This is how I make sense of what
people say - though interpretation is not always easy.
THE FIRST reason has to do with the contrast between a religious and a
secular funeral. This became clear to me earlier this year when I was
asked to officiate at the funeral of someone I had known for 30 years.
I was surprised to be asked, because the friend was an atheist, and his
partner wanted a secular funeral. Not without difficulty, though out of
friendship, I agreed.
For a Christian priest, however, this was like trying to save someone
from drowning with your arms and legs tied together. Much of what I
would want to say, I could not say. Much of what I would want to do -
such as pray and commend my friend to God - I had to refrain from
doing.
The occasion consisted of favourite pieces of music and short eulogies
by friends, all with an amusing story or two. (And it was all done
well.) It was a "celebration" of a life. And that, of course, gives
the clue. The secular funeral can look only in one direction -
backwards, to a life now lived.
It is literally hopeless, for hope is about the future, and the one
thing the non-believer knows is that there is no future beyond physical
death; for without God there could be no future beyond physical death.
Many people may not be convinced believers, but they want to keep the
door of hope at least ajar. The secular funeral slams it shut.
This leads into a second reason why the religious funeral persists. The
secular funeral essentially makes a utilitarian evaluation of the life
lived, based on the contribution the deceased has made - as partner,
parent, friend, citizen. This works for many funerals, but by no means
all. Some of these are obvious: I think immediately of the funerals of
a suicide; a severely mentally handicapped baby; a young man who
destroyed his life and that of others in a drink-induced car crash; a
young woman who gave her short life to drugs.
With other funerals, we pick our way with care: there may not be a
whole skeleton in the cupboard, but we are made aware of a few bones.
It then becomes hard or forced to find convincing reasons to be wholly
celebratory.
But, in the church funeral, the evaluation of a life is religious, not
utilitarian: whatever we have done in and with our lives, Christ died
for us. This allows us to express a range of emotions: sorrow and
sadness, guilt and regret, despair and anger, as well as thankfulness
and pride. All can be accommodated. We don't even have to labour any
point, since the liturgy takes care of it. And, at the key moment, the
rite is unambiguous: we commend the dead to God.
We do live in a time of no religion - a time when many people do not
want regular contact with organised religion. This makes those moments
when they do of considerable significance. We need to keep puzzling out
why that is, so that we can minister more effectively. Why do people
ask for a religious funeral? Because it allows us to say our farewells
with integrity, and does not close the door on hope.
Canon Dr Alan Billings is the Vicar of St George's, Kendal, and St
John's, Grayrigg, and the author of Secular Lives, Sacred Hearts: The
role of the Church in a time of no religion (SPCK, 2004).
.