| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Uncle Clover" |
| Date: |
12 Oct 2006 11:35:20 PM |
| Object: |
You are psychic! :-) |
You are psychic! And to prove it, let's just all make up a whole bunch of crap
that we'll claim is going to happen in the future, keep track of the hits,
ignore the misses and pat ourselves on the back for a job well done when
somebody notices! :-)
Okay, here's my flurry of wholly random predictions, pulled farm-fresh straight
outta' my *****! :-) :
1. Osama bin Ladin will reveal that he is gay and wishes flee to Denmark, where
he will apply to marry a certain U.S. senator from Illinois so he can become
"Osama Obama".
2. Lucille Ball will be cloned (if she hasn't been already).
3. Mickey Mouse will be revamped yet again, much to the outrage of many
genexers.
4. American and Brittish women will begin cultivating a full growth of facial
hair in order to make a bold fashion statement (hey, one can dream!).
5. A type of computing will be developed which is a blend of binary and analog
- essentially it will be binary computing in which the data will stream so fast
as to be considered a kind of "perfected analog".
6. Sylvia Brown will accidentally contact the ghost of the Mad Arab and
reawaken Cthulu.
7. Julia Childe's estate will release a video she made which she wanted to have
released a few years after her death - it will be the revelation of the
Colonel's "secret recipe"...
8. It will be discovered that the KGB was not, in fact, dissolved - that it is
still very much active, even within the borders of the U.S. It just goes under
another name. Nobody will know for whom the agency operates, as it's not the
present Russian government.
9. ECHELON will be revealed, but far too late for anyone to do anything about
it.
10. Jerry Falwell will pass away within 10 months of this prediction and will
out himself on his death bed.
11. There is a season and a place on Mars where water still can flow. It will
be discovered within 2 years, though it won't be readily apparent as to whether
or not there's any kind of prebiotic or microbial "life" present.
12. A faint signal will be heard by SETI. Looking at the Milky Way edge-on
from a vantage point that would place Earth between the viewer and the center of
the galaxy, the signal will come from a star that is somewhat farther from the
galactic core and with which the three points - Earth, galactic core and signal
source - would form an angle of around 7-10 degrees at the galactic core. It
will only be heard once, never to be heard from again, but it will be
unmistakably technological.
C'est tout, now I'm off to other playgrounds... :-)
--
L8r,
Uncle Clover
************************************************
The true mark of a civilized society is that its
citizens know how to hate each other peacefully.
************************************************
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| User: "JTEM" |
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| Title: Re: You are psychic! :-) |
14 Oct 2006 01:26:50 AM |
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Uncle Clover wrote:
You are psychic! And to prove it, let's just all make
up a whole bunch of crap that we'll claim is going to
happen in the future, keep track of the hits, ignore
the misses and pat ourselves on the back for a job
well done when somebody notices! :-)
1. Osama bin Ladin will reveal that he is gay and wishes
flee to Denmark, where he will apply to marry a certain
U.S. senator from Illinois so he can become "Osama
Obama".
It will be revealed that Osama Bin Laden is dead after some
other nation (most likely Russia) begins faking his videos.
2. Lucille Ball will be cloned (if she hasn't been already).
Impeachment cries will rise again, but not for the war or
anything else you were expecting. This time they will be
spawned by the recent revolations that the Bush administration
was using his "faith based initiative" for partisan political
gain.
Not that we all didn't know this already. But, unlike before
we have people on the inside saying they were doing just
that. Just how big is this newest scandal? Well, let me
rephrase it slightly, while keeping it accurate:
BUSH STOLE TENS OF MILLIONS OF TAXEPAYER
DOLLARS AND USED IT TO CAMPAIGN FOR HIMSELF
AND FELLOW REPUBLICANS!
And, oh:
HE VIOLATED THE CONSTUTIONAL SEPARATION BETWEEN
CHURCH AND STATE WHILE HE WAS AT IT!
3. Mickey Mouse will be revamped yet again, much to the
outrage of many genexers.
Within the next ten years, and thanks to advancments in
life-like computer animation, the internet will be shaken to
its very foundation by "Virtual" kiddy porn and snuff films.
Originating in Europe & Asia, they will begin as "Virtual"
celebrity porn -- computer animated life-like depictions of
celebrities in sex acts -- but the bottom will fall out of that
market quickly, as the fakes are easily exposed.
4. American and Brittish women will begin cultivating a
full growth of facial hair in order to make a bold fashion
statement (hey, one can dream!).
The United States and the U.K. agree to combine as one
giant super nation, after the completeion of decades long
negotiations. Reporting sticking points were the U.S.
right to bear arms, the role of the British royal family and a
controversial U.S. proposal that the U.K. practice
routine infant circumcision, "because foreskin in yucky."
5. A type of computing will be developed which is a blend
of binary and analog - essentially it will be binary
computing in which the data will stream so fast
as to be considered a kind of "perfected analog".
Microsoft releases a new Linux based operating system.
The new O.S., dubbed Billux, will be similar to all other
Unix/Linux system though sporting unique features. Major
differences include: Backwards compatibility will all Microsoft
software, a GUI interface inperceptible from Windows XP and
a penchant for crashing.
6. Sylvia Brown will accidentally contact the ghost of the
Mad Arab and reawaken Cthulu.
Christianity will discover faith. This in turn will lead to the
death of biblical archaeology, creation science/Intelligent
Design and other psuedo sciences, which will now longer
serve any function.
7. Julia Childe's estate will release a video she made
which she wanted to have released a few years after her
death - it will be the revelation of the Colonel's "secret
recipe"...
The Cooking Channel will expand its direct marketing
efforts, leading to record profits for any network. They
will use their new found wealth to expand into the broadcast
market, purchasing ABC from Disney. One early broadcast
project will be a new 9/11 film to win back viewers Disney
insulted with their slanderous take on the subject.
Democrats, however, will be disappointed when instead of
slamming Bush the film focuses chiefly on airline food,
suggesting 30 "Easy and inexpensive ways" the airlines
might spice up their menu.
8. It will be discovered that the KGB was not, in fact,
dissolved - that it is still very much active, even within
the borders of the U.S. It just goes under another name.
Nobody will know for whom the agency operates, as it's
not the present Russian government.
Scandal rocks both sides of the Atlantic when Christopher
Hitchens and other British (MI6) agents are exposed. It is
this scandal which will finally lead the British to yield on
the U.S. circumcision proposal (see #4, above).
9. ECHELON will be revealed, but far too late for anyone
to do anything about it.
HAARP will be revealed, competing with ECHELON for
headlines.
10. Jerry Falwell will pass away within 10 months of this
prediction and will out himself on his death bed.
James Dobson, of the GOP's "Focus On the Family" front
group, will go down in scandal.
11. There is a season and a place on Mars where water
still can flow. It will be discovered within 2 years, though
it won't be readily apparent as to whether or not there's
any kind of prebiotic or microbial "life" present.
It will be revealed that billions of the missing funds, sent to
Iraq, are not really missing. The money had been kept on
ice, pending the breakup of Iraq into three "sectors," in
order to artificially produce a "Remarkable & speedy
turn-around" when the money was finally made available
to the Iraqi authorities.
12. A faint signal will be heard by SETI. Looking at the
Milky Way edge-on from a vantage point that would
place Earth between the viewer and the center of the
galaxy, the signal will come from a star that is somewhat
farther from the galactic core and with which the three
points - Earth, galactic core and signal source - would
form an angle of around 7-10 degrees at the galactic core.
It will only be heard once, never to be heard from again,
but it will be unmistakably technological.
The new Snickers Bar ad campaign will be so successful
that Mars will abandon sales of its Milkey Way Bar (nothing
more than a Snickers sans peanuts).
.
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| User: "Doc Smartass" |
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| Title: Re: You are psychic! :-) |
14 Oct 2006 10:34:05 AM |
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"JTEM" <jtem01@gmail.com> wrote in news:1160807210.680444.92180
@k70g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
Uncle Clover wrote:
10. Jerry Falwell will pass away within 10 months of this
prediction and will out himself on his death bed.
James Dobson, of the GOP's "Focus On the Family" front
group, will go down in scandal.
On whom?
--
Doc Smartass
The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of
words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people
who must use the words. - Philip K. *****
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| User: "JTEM" |
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| Title: Re: You are psychic! :-) |
14 Oct 2006 04:24:05 PM |
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Doc Smartass wrote:
"JTEM" <jtem01@gmail.com> wrote
James Dobson, of the GOP's "Focus On the Family" front
group, will go down in scandal.
On whom?
With any luck, precautions will be taken to ensure that
Dobson doesn't try to prevent any of the congressional
pages from becoming gay by showering with them &
letting them see his penis.
So, it would have to be someone other than them...
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| User: "Doc Smartass" |
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| Title: Re: You are psychic! :-) |
14 Oct 2006 07:29:49 PM |
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"JTEM" <jtem01@gmail.com> wrote in news:1160861045.563744.232140
@i42g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
Doc Smartass wrote:
"JTEM" <jtem01@gmail.com> wrote
James Dobson, of the GOP's "Focus On the Family" front
group, will go down in scandal.
On whom?
With any luck, precautions will be taken to ensure that
Dobson doesn't try to prevent any of the congressional
pages from becoming gay by showering with them &
letting them see his penis.
So, it would have to be someone other than them...
<Dobson> So, Billy...do you like gladiator movies? </Dobson>
--
Doc Smartass
The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of
words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the
people who must use the words. - Philip K. *****
.
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| User: "Mike Painter" |
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| Title: Re: You are psychic! :-) |
14 Oct 2006 12:30:39 AM |
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Uncle Clover wrote:
You are psychic! And to prove it, let's just all make up a whole
bunch of crap that we'll claim is going to happen in the future, keep
track of the hits, ignore the misses and pat ourselves on the back
for a job well done when somebody notices! :-)
<snip>
I just channeled Jesus Christ and he told me to predict that none of these
would happen.
If you don't believe me, I can show you where the stigmata were on my
wrists.
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