The pastor of my church included this with the church's weekly
newsletter. I think they're hysterical:
In the first book of the Bible, Guinness's, God got tired of creating
the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Arc. Noah built an ark, which the
animals came on to in pears.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
bread, which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went
up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand
still and he obeyed him.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical
times.
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the
tombstone off the entrance.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus
in the manager.
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