WASHINGTON D.C. Nov 16, 2004 - In a daring, decisive move
intended to accelerate the war on terror, President Bush this
afternoon ordered an Al Qaida terrorist attack on the Vatican.
Sources close to the President say that the decision did not come
easy, but that this bold move was necessary to win badly needed
support from "Old Europe," much of which is Catholic.
"The Europeans just aren't coming along," spoke one Whitehouse
insider on the condition that he remain anonymous. "We've tried
bulling, trade wars and even bribery, but our traditional allies
aren't into war of aggression."
Sources were pretty tight lipped regarding the nature of the attack
Bush has ordered, but several have hinted that it is linked to the
recent "Permission" that was supposedly granted to Osama Bin
Laden to use nuclear weapons.
"We've certainly allowed him to loot enough nuclear material
to nuke a continent," admitted the GOP insider, alluding
to the vanished stockpiles of materials that the Bush administration
refused to secure in Iraq. "Everything left over from Saddam's
1980s nuclear program was just up for grabs, and we let him grap
it."
A representative of the Vatican could not be reached for comment.
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