| Topic: |
Religions > Bible |
| User: |
"" |
| Date: |
05 Jan 2006 03:01:18 AM |
| Object: |
Did Jesus have long hair like a homersexual? |
Dear Paster,
Last weak at homeskool, me and my bruther was lookin at some pitchures of Jezus, and we sawed he had reel long hairs on his haid. He looks like my sister, Suzanna Beth. I askded my teachur (momma) if that means Jezus were a gay old butt-sniffin' homo like my Mumma's cousin, "Gay Bobby," cause neither of theys never got marryed. But my Mumma did'nt no the anser. Can you pleaze tell us?
Yours in Criyst Jezus,
- Billy-Joe
Dear Billy-Joe,
God bless you, young man, and thank you for bringing up this important question. I understand it can be difficult when you see all those photographs of Jesus in your Children's Bible and wonder whether you're gazing upon our Beloved Saviour, or just some scruffy hustler swishing along in the Wigstock Parade.
Add to that Jesus' effeminate yearnings for such staples of the homosexual agenda as so-called "peace," "love," and "compassion," and it's perfectly understandable how an good, decent, conservative youngster like yourself would start to out-and-out DESPISE the Lord.
Fortunately, there are perfectly rational reasons for why the earliest known photographs of Jesus show him with girlishly elongated hairs.
First, what you must understand is that after Jesus accepted himself as Lord and Saviour, and became the first Christian - what do you think was the first thing he did? I'll give you a hint - It is a tradition that we here at Chelmsford Baptist carry on to this very day. It is the first thing the Holy Ghost whispers into your ear, the minute you get saved. That's right, Billy-Joe. Jesus got a haircut.
The reason you see so many pictures of Jesus with long hair is because those pictures were drawn by unsaved people. Most of them were drawn by hell-bound, pasta-slurping, Mary-worshipping, hell-bound Catholics.
Jesus had short hair, Billy-Joe. And He was always clean-shaven for the last three years of His life here on Earth. Can you imagine how painful it must have been for Him to pluck His nose hairs with a wooden tweezers? He did it for you, Billy. He did it because He loves you, not the way a homosexual loves another man, but the way a Father loves his son. And you must follow His example.
If the false images of Jesus with long hair are a stumbling block for you, then just tear them out of your Bible. For a more accurate example of what Jesus would look like if He were walking amongst us today, just gaze on the portrait of our Godly President, George W. Bush, hanging in the main sanctuary.
If you'd like to have the pictures of Jesus in your Bible replaced with photographs of President Bush, then ask your mother to contact Youth Pastor. We have printed out several thousand copies of a new children's Bible with the pictures already replaced.
God Bless You,
- Pastor
--
Pastor Rev Dr ***** Foot
Chelsmford Baptist Church
111 Lime Walk, Chelmsford CM2 9NJ
http://www.chelmsfordbaptist.com/
.
|
|
| User: "Julian D." |
|
| Title: Re: Did Jesus have long hair like a homersexual? |
05 Jan 2006 08:14:57 PM |
|
|
cute little anecdote about Jesus's coiffure.
John Wayne was sitting in a bar. 2 long haired maggot-infested
hippies decided to try and goad him into an argument.
They new Wayne hated long haired hippies. They told him 'but Jesus
had long hair!'
John Wayne told him that Jesus probably kept it neat and clean, unlike
their mangy greasy locks.
Julian D.
"But if we must engage in a national debate on half-measures:
After 9/11, any president who was not spying on people calling
phone numbers associated with terrorists should be impeached for
being an inept commander in chief."
-Ann Coulter
"The president and I cannot prevent certain politicians from losing
their memory, or their backbone, but we're not going to sit by and
let them rewrite history." -- ***** Cheney 11/16/2005
"If somebody from al-Qaida is calling you, we'd like to know why."
- President George W. Bush - January 1, 2006
.
|
|
|
| User: "Zen Criminal Internet Services Zen_Criminal_Internet@Services" |
|
| Title: Re: Did Jesus have long hair like a homersexual? |
05 Jan 2006 11:46:15 PM |
|
|
Julian D. <jules@ersatz.com> wrote in
news:8pjrr193hj62jqh0imp7599fvb96u68nvb@4ax.com:
cute little anecdote about Jesus's coiffure.
I wonder why the original,
to which you were responding,
had to be cancelled.
"If somebody from al-Qaida is calling you, we'd like to know why."
- President George W. Bush - January 1, 2006
Hello, is that Whitehouse two two two two?
No, this is Whitehouse double two; double two.
Sorry I have the wrong number.
That's okay, the phone was ringing anyway.
--
http://www.chelmsfordbaptist.org/
.
|
|
|
| User: "Les Hemmings" |
|
| Title: Re: Did Jesus have long hair like a homersexual? |
06 Jan 2006 03:35:54 AM |
|
|
"Zen Criminal Internet Services" <Zen_Criminal_Internet@Services> wrote in
message news:Xns97433AB674F9DZenCriminalInternetS@127.1.1.25...
Julian D. <jules@ersatz.com> wrote in
news:8pjrr193hj62jqh0imp7599fvb96u68nvb@4ax.com:
cute little anecdote about Jesus's coiffure.
I wonder why the original,
to which you were responding,
had to be cancelled.
It wasn't.... just copy and pasted it below...
Dear Paster,
Last weak at homeskool, me and my bruther was lookin at some pitchures of
Jezus, and we sawed he had reel long hairs on his haid. He looks like my
sister, Suzanna Beth. I askded my teachur (momma) if that means Jezus were a
gay old butt-sniffin' homo like my Mumma's cousin, "Gay Bobby," cause
neither of theys never got marryed. But my Mumma did'nt no the anser. Can
you pleaze tell us?
Yours in Criyst Jezus,
- Billy-Joe
Dear Billy-Joe,
God bless you, young man, and thank you for bringing up this important
question. I understand it can be difficult when you see all those
photographs of Jesus in your Children's Bible and wonder whether you're
gazing upon our Beloved Saviour, or just some scruffy hustler swishing along
in the Wigstock Parade.
Add to that Jesus' effeminate yearnings for such staples of the homosexual
agenda as so-called "peace," "love," and "compassion," and it's perfectly
understandable how an good, decent, conservative youngster like yourself
would start to out-and-out DESPISE the Lord.
Fortunately, there are perfectly rational reasons for why the earliest known
photographs of Jesus show him with girlishly elongated hairs.
First, what you must understand is that after Jesus accepted himself as Lord
and Saviour, and became the first Christian - what do you think was the
first thing he did? I'll give you a hint - It is a tradition that we here at
Chelmsford Baptist carry on to this very day. It is the first thing the Holy
Ghost whispers into your ear, the minute you get saved. That's right,
Billy-Joe. Jesus got a haircut.
The reason you see so many pictures of Jesus with long hair is because those
pictures were drawn by unsaved people. Most of them were drawn by
hell-bound, pasta-slurping, Mary-worshipping, hell-bound Catholics.
Jesus had short hair, Billy-Joe. And He was always clean-shaven for the last
three years of His life here on Earth. Can you imagine how painful it must
have been for Him to pluck His nose hairs with a wooden tweezers? He did it
for you, Billy. He did it because He loves you, not the way a homosexual
loves another man, but the way a Father loves his son. And you must follow
His example.
If the false images of Jesus with long hair are a stumbling block for you,
then just tear them out of your Bible. For a more accurate example of what
Jesus would look like if He were walking amongst us today, just gaze on the
portrait of our Godly President, George W. Bush, hanging in the main
sanctuary.
If you'd like to have the pictures of Jesus in your Bible replaced with
photographs of President Bush, then ask your mother to contact Youth Pastor.
We have printed out several thousand copies of a new children's Bible with
the pictures already replaced.
God Bless You,
- Pastor
--
Pastor Rev Dr ***** Foot
Chelsmford Baptist Church
111 Lime Walk, Chelmsford CM2 9NJ
http://www.chelmsfordbaptist.com/
--
Remove Frontal Lobes to reply.
http://armsofmorpheus.blogspot.com/
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little
temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
- Benjamin Franklin, 1759
Les Hemmings aa #2251 SA
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Baldin Pramer" |
|
| Title: Re: Did Jesus have long hair like a homersexual? |
05 Jan 2006 08:36:38 PM |
|
|
Julian D. wrote:
cute little anecdote about Jesus's coiffure.
John Wayne was sitting in a bar. 2 long haired maggot-infested
hippies decided to try and goad him into an argument.
They new Wayne hated long haired hippies. They told him 'but Jesus
had long hair!'
John Wayne told him that Jesus probably kept it neat and clean, unlike
their mangy greasy locks.
That was brilliant, in an idiot-savant sort of way.
--
Sir Baldin Pramer, RPA
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
Q: Why Did Jesus Have Long Hair Like a Homo?
Re: How did Jesus deal with false-christian scum like Charles Stanley?
Re: Important TRUTH About DEPARTED Masters Like Jesus Christ
Two V's a counterfeit W like Jesus, but an ASCII upside down reveal 616
Jesus called scum like Charles "Quartus" Stanley names like "scum"
I WOULD PERSONALLY LIKE TO THANK GOD, JESUS AND THE HOLY GHOST FOR THE DEMOCRATES TAKING OVER THE HOUSE
See these Jesus Jerk offs prey on weak minds and small chilfren, then they post ***** like this.....***** them!
How The Demon Bush Misled God's World - What are you then, some kinda Jesus freak?... - OR - ... Worshiping bush in a delusional cult like, TV trance without any thought to care about our actual criminal behavior, is not a good philosophy
| They are not like Jesus, but wearing His name.
"Jews for Jesus", Sort of Like "Nicole for OJ"
If you didn't like No Name's Jesus picture
Jesus Said "This time last year, we were still scrambling for generators like everybody else."
Full of Self or Jesus Christ-like example?
Nobody is Like Jesus
Like Linda Lee, Adolf Hitler Worships Jesus Christ
|
|
|
