1. Draining the Pain of Hurt Feelings
"Even now my witness is in heaven. My advocate is there on
high. My friends scorn me, but I pour out my tears to God"
(Job 16:19-20, nlt).
A Daily Encounter reader who has been hurt deeply asks, "Do
you have any insight into dealing with the strong emotions
that arise from being deeply hurt and wounded?
Dear Fred (not his real name), one way you can help "drain
the pain" of hurt feelings is to write out your feelings.
David did this in several of his Psalms. I think he was a
man after God's own heart because of his being open and
honest with himself and with God. When you write, write as
if you are writing a letter to the one who hurt you.
Express all your feelings in all their intensity to this
person. Then read the letter to God telling him that this
is exactly the way you feel (he knows it anyhow)¨then
tear up the letter and destroy it. Write again and again
doing the same thing until all your hurt and angry feelings
are dissipated. But never, never, never send one of these
letters to anybody. At a later time, should you feel a need
to write or contact the person in question, remember always
to write and speak the truth in love¨never in anger.
God also gave us tears to help drain the pain of hurt
feelings. So give yourself permission to weep with all your
heart for until we have learned to weep with all our heart,
we are not free to love with all our heart either. Tears,
however, are for expressing grief ... not anger. Anger
needs to be expressed in writing, verbalized, or both.
Also, everyone needs at least one person he/she can trust
implicitly with whom to share his/her feelings. It needs to
be an understanding and caring person who listens and
accepts us with all our hurt and angry feelings but won't
give us advice, preach at us, or tell us what we should or
shouldn't do or feel. And, if necessary, have several
sessions with a qualified Christian counselor to help you
work through and resolve your feelings.
And of course be sure to tell God exactly how you feel and
to lead you to the help you need to resolve your hurt and
angry feelings so you can get to a point of genuine
forgiveness. Failing to forgive will only hurt you. It's
"like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to
die."
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that you always
understand what I am feeling and will always accept me when
I openly and honestly confess and share my feelings with you
no matter what those feelings are. Help me always to be
honest with myself and with you and please help me find a
faithful friend with whom I can feel safe to be open and
honest--a friend who will always love and accept me no
matter how I feel. Thank you for hearing and answering my
prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
<:))))><<
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A Time to Love a Time to Heal
Broken Wings Shattered Dreams
Your Healing Is Within You
Choice, Not Chance, Determines Destiny
Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes
You Can't Unring a Bell
The Magic Number: Seventy Times Seven
Hurt People Hurt People
Blessed Are They Who Mourn
The Woman You Gave Me
Come Apart Before You Come Apart
What You Do Is What You Get
According to Your Faith
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