Endtimes Indications - 1/13/8 - God's in Control
Frog Plague
A group of scientists warned that the largest mass extinction since
the end of the dibosaur period is sweeping through the world's
populations of frogs, newts, toads, salamanders and caecilians. The
chytrid fungus has caused mass deaths in six countries, including
Britain, where its effects are the subject of an urgent research
project. The disease has so far provedddddd unstoppable in the wild
and can kill 805 of native amphibians within months once it has taken
hold. Some fear the plague has been made worse by the effects of
global warming. "Widespread extinction of amphibians would be
catastrophic," said Jeffrey P. Bonner, the St. Louis Zoo. He is
leading an ambitious rescue plan to move the most vulnerable species
into protected areas in zoos, aquariums and other institutions around
the world to guarantee their survival.
1-1-2-God's in Control
New Direction
That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over
to the other side." Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along,
just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A
furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it
was early swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion.
The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we
drown?"
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!"
Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have
no faith?"
They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind
and the waves obey him!" (Mark 4:35-41)
Even in the middle of a dangerous sea, when Jesus patiently calmed the
storm, he showed the fearful disciples that he truly cared for them.
Sometimes even those close to Jesus were slow to realize how much he
loved them.
"God, don't you care?"
Such an honest cry, a doggedly painful cry, I've asked that one
before, haven't you? It's been screamed countless times....
A mother weeps over a stillborn child. A husband is torn from his
wife by a tragic accident. The tears of an eight-year-old fall on a
daddy's casket. And the question wails.
"God, don't you care?" "Why me?" "Why my friend?" "Why my
business?" "Don't you care?"
It's the timeless question. The question asked by literally every
person that has stalked this globe. There has never been a president,
a worker, or a businessman who hasn't asked it. There has never been
a soul who hasn't wrestled with this aching question. Does my God
care? Or is my pain God's great goof?
As the winds holed and the sea raged, the impatient and frightened
disciples screamed their fear at the sleeping Jesus. "Teacher, don't
you care that we are about to die?" He could have kept on sleeping.
He could have impatiently jumped up and angrily dismissed the storm.
He could have pointed out their immaturity.... But he didn't.
With all the patience that only one who cares can have, he answered
the question. He hushed the storm so the shivering disciples wouldn't
miss his response. Jesus answered once and for all the aching dilemma
of man - "Where is God when I hurt?"
Listening and healing. That's where he is. He cares.
(From On the Anvil by Max Lucado)
What stories of Jesus' love and ministry can you share with others?
Consider the impact of stories that have taught you. Dare yourself to
discover the ways God shows he cares for you in the storms of your
life.
If you had been a disciple what would you have told your spouse that
evening?
Why did Jesus let the storm come up?
Why do you think the disciples awakened Jesus?
What was the tone in Jesus' voice when he said: "You of little faith.
Why are you so afraid?
What is your typical response to storms in your life?
What brings storms in your life?
"Quiet! Be Still!" For the storm you're facing, what would this
mean?
Which would frighten you more-the storm or Jesus?
How do you react to Jesus when he seems to be asleep in your life?
The disciples panicked because the storm threatened to destroy them
all and Jesus seemed unaware and unconcerned. Think about the storms
in your life - the situations that cause you great anxiety. You can
worry and assume that Jesus no longer cares, or you can resist fear,
putting your trust in him. We underestimate his power to handle
crises in our lives.
"Paul and his companions traveled throughout the region of Phrygia and
Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word
in the province of Asia. When they came to the border of Mysia, they
tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them
to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas. During the night
Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him,
"Come over to Macedonia and help us." After Paul had seen the vision,
we got ready at once to leave for Macedonia, concluding that God had
called us to preach the gospel to them." (Acts 16:6-10)
During his second missionary journey, Paul visited and encouraged
churches established during his first journey. Despite persecution,
Paul boldly shared the gospel wherever he went.
Even when we are persecuted for the sake of the gospel, God can make
us a powerful testimony. His Holy Spirit will work through us as we
reach out to those around us.
Prayer Of Saint Patrick
I establish myself today in:
The power of God to guide me,
The might of God to uphold me,
The wisdom of God to teach me,
The eye of God to watch over me,
The ear of God to hear me,
The word of God to speak to me,
The hand of God to protect me,
The way of God to lie before me,
The shield of God to shelter me,
The hosts of God to defend me<
Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ above me,
Christ at my right, Christ at my left,
Christ in breath, Christ in length,
Christ in height, Christ in the heart
of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man
who speaks to me,
Christ in the ear of every man
who hears me.
Confident in Christ.
(From My Sacrifice, His Fire by Anne Ortlund)
Where can you witness for Christ today: your home, church, school,
community? Put your trust in him. Say a word for Jesus.
Notice the change from "they" (v.8) to "we" (v.10). how is this
closed door (v.7) pivotal?
How did the Lord open your heart to respond to the gospel?
What people did he use as part of the process?
Where do you have an "open door" for ministry now:
In your home?
School/Work?
Community?
How will you take advantage of it?
Email address:
Goals
Leaders will:
Perceive more accurately their responsibilities as Christian Leaders.
Move toward accepting God as your co-leader and responsible for
results.
See how it feels to turn the responsibility for training over to God.
Experience feelings of leaders to gain better understanding of that
perspective.
See themselves as recipients of God's training, and help others do the
same.
Experience Christian community.
Guidance Prayer
Almighty God, you want us to share with others the love and training
that you have given us. Without your help we would be lost and
confused. We rely totally on you to provide training, guidance and
growth. Thank you for the blessing of your love for us and your
willingness to have us travel the ultimate road - the road to heaven -
that we might receive the ultimate graduation. Amen.
Lead-In
Jesus said, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask
the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his
harvest field." (Matt. 9:37-38). This is one of the many images that
help us understand that we are partners with God in his work of
training for our world. We plant, tend, and harvest crops, but God
causes the miracle of growth. We can train others, but God produces
the growth, the guidance, the change in peoples lives. It is tempting
at times to forget God's responsibility in the leadership process. In
this class, let us look at the division of responsibilities in this
process, and grow in appreciation of God's way of using us in his
process of Leadership.
***** almost everyone knows, the Bible contains many examples of human
need. Throughout its pages we read of loneliness, discouragement,
doubt, grief, sadness, envy, violence, poverty, sickness,
interpersonal tension, and a variety of other personal problems -
sometimes exhibited in the lives of the greatest saints.
Farmers teach lessons in hope everyday. They toil for days, even
weeks preparing the soil for planting. Tilling, fertilizing, planting
seeds, and cultivating - all these activities work to prepare,
nourish, and protect the crop. And every day, farmers hope - for
warmth, but not too much. When the time for harvest arrives, farmers
know they are gathering in hopes fulfilled as much as work rewarded.
The apostle Paul knew this. In 1 Cor. 3: 6-7 he wrote, "I planted,
Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants
nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth." As
a farmer's responsibility rests with preparing a crop for harvest, so
the Christian Leader responsibility is to "plant" and "water." God
then provides the growth (control, success and thereby the reward).
In other words, Christians are responsible for the work and God is
responsible for the results.
What Christian leaders, do is prepare the ground for the Great
Leader. Preparing the ground means doing the best possible job to
create a situation and then waiting on the Lord's results. It is God
who provides emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual growth
according to his will.
The Christian leader/trainer is characterized by a personality which
radiates sincerity, understanding, and an ability to confront in a
constructive manner. These trainers also are skilled in the
application of techniques which help trainees move toward specific
therapeutic goals.
The word leader/trainer is defined as: to lead or direct the growth
of: to form by instruction, discipline, ...educate; ... to teach so as
to be fitted, qualified, proficient, etc; to make prepared for a test,
contest, etc., as by exercise, dieting, etc.; to aim at an object,
bring to bear. The word train is defined as: to subject oneself or to
be subjected to instruction. ...; to form habits or impart proficiency
by teaching; to associate, or be on friendly terms.
When he was teaching some of his followers one day, Jesus stated why
he had come to earth: to give us life in abundance and in all its
fullness. Earlier, in what now is surely the most famous verse in
Scripture, Jesus had told God's purpose in sending the Son -" "that
whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life."
Jesus, therefore, had two goals for individuals: abundant life on
earth and eternal life in heaven.
Leadership is a relationship word. A leader, therefore, is a person
whose relationship with others are characterized by service and
guidance. connotes "willingness to serve."
If we take the words of Jesus seriously we are likely to reach the
conclusion that a fully abundant life only comes to those who seek to
live in accordance with his teachings.
Christian leaders work hard to establish relationships that encourage
Christian growth. Christian leaders, however, rely on God for
results.
Let us recognize, however, that there are many sincere Christians who
wwill have eternal life in heaven but who are not experiencing a very
abundant life on earth. These people need training which involves
something other than evangelism or traditional Christian education.
Such training might, for example, help trainees recognize unconscious
harmful attitudes, teach interpersonal skills and new behaviors, or
show how to mobilize one's inner resources to face a crisis. At times
such training, guided by the Holy Spirit, can free a trainee from hang-
ups which prevent him or her from growing to Christian maturity. For
the nonbeliever, such training can serve as a kind of "pre-
evangelism", which clears away some of the subtle obstacles to
conversion. Evangelism and discipleship, therefore, are the Christian
Leader/trainer's "ultimate overarching" goals, but they are not the
only goals.
In the broadest sense, what you are offering in distinctive Christian
leadership is love. Because Jesus Christ lives in you, you are God's
ambassador. You carry the news of his unconditional acceptance and
hope-filled training plan and program for a fullness of life.
Leadership is a process-like tilling, fertilizing, planting, and
cultivating. Processes are verbs and the process of leadership is in
your hands.
Living out the knowledge that results - belong to God is living in
faith. Such faith has beneficial effects on both the leader and the
person receiving the training.
For the Leader
When you as a leader realize that God is responsible for the results,
you are freed from worry and false expectations. Demands on yourself
to get results are silenced, and so are any demands for the trainee to
shape up or change. Instead, you can concentrate on creating the best
educational situation for growth to occur: developing trust and
communicating acceptance and love.
If you do not rely on God to provide the results, you are in for
trouble. There are only two other places to look for success. First,
you can become self-oriented and pressured from within, trying to
force people to grow or change through your help. Weighted down by
this responsibility, you fall into worry about results or increasing
self-doubts about your ability as a leader. This cycle of doubt and
worry can lead up to become increasing self-absorbed and consequently
less a servant.
Second, you can place responsibility for success on the one receiving
your training. If you choose this course, what first seems like a
great relief - at least is no longer up to you - will eventually leave
you frustrated and exasperated. God has provided human beings with
many inner resources to cope and change. Yet people broken by
problems in life will not be able to pull themselves up by their own
bootstraps, nor should you expect them to do so. The healing power of
God is needed.
Trusting God to provide results means freedom for you, the leader.
Yet freedom is not license. Ceasing to worry about results does not
entitle you to not do your best. Although God provides the growth,
being a good farmer is hard work. So is being a good leader. Your
motivation and preparation is not diminished when you rely on God for
the results; rather, your reliance on God gives you the guidance.
What makes a good trainer?
Warmth. This word implies caring, respecting, or possessing a
sincere, nonsmothering concern for the trainee - regardless of his or
her actions or attitudes. Jesus showed this when he met the woman at
the well. Her morals may have been low, and he certainly never
condoned sinful behavior. But Jesus nevertheless respected the woman
and treated her as a person of worth. His warm, caring attitude must
have been apparent wherever he went.
Genuineness. The genuine counselor is "for real" - an open, sincere
person who avoids phoniness or the playing of some superior role.
Genuineness implies spontaneity without impulsiveness and honesty
without cruel confrontation. It means that the trainer is deeply
himself or herself - not thinking or feeling one thing and saying
something different.
Empathy. What does a trainee think? How does he or she really feel
inside? What are the trainee's values, beliefs, inner conflicts and
hurts? The good trainer os continually sensitive to these issues,
able to understand them, and effective in communicating this
understanding (by words or gestures) to the trainee. This ability to
feel with" the trainee is what we mean by accurate empathic
understanding. It is possible to help people, even when we don't
completely understand, but the trainer who can empathize (especially
near the beginning of training) is most likely to be effective as a
lifestyle-trainer.
Other Important trainer characteristics. The good trainer, for
example, is able to get along efficiently, having a relative absence
of immobilizing conflicts, hang-ups, insecurities or personal
problems. The effective trainer is also compassionate, interested in
people, alert to his or her own feelings and motives, more self-
revealing than self-concealing, and knowledgeable in the field of
training. The Christian might summarize all of this by stating that
the trainer must be loving.
Loving. Christianity's lifestyle offers an approach to life which is
based wholley upon love and thus is able to help where secular
counseling fails? This raises a thought-provoking challenge for the
Christian trainer: a basic way to help is to love - asking God to love
needy people through us and asking him to make us more loving. The
effective Christian trainer is loving. This is basic. But he or she
also seeks to develop therapeutic characteristics and attempts to
become proficient in the knowledge and use of basic training
techniques.
The Goals of Training
What are some of these goals? Any list must include at least the
following.
Self-understanding. To understand oneself is often a first step in
healing. Many problems are self-imposed but the one being helped may
fail to recognize that he or she has biased perceptions, harmful
attitudes or self-destructive behavior. Consider, for example, the
person who complains, "Nobody likes me," but fails to see that the
complaining is one reason for this rejection by others. One goal of
training is for an objective, perceptually alert trainer to assist
those being helped to get a true picture of what is going on within
themselves and within the world around them.
Communication. It is well known that many marriage difficulties
relate to a breakdown in husband-wife communication. The same is true
of other problems. People are unable or unwilling to communicate.
The trainee must learn how to communicate feelings, thoughts, and
attitudes both accurately and effectively. Such communication
involves the expression of oneself, and the ability to receive
accurate messages from others.
Learning and Behavior Change. Most, if not all, of our behavior is
learned. Training, therefore, involves helping trainees unlearn
ineffective behavior and learn more efficient ways of acting. Such
learning comes from instruction, imitation of a trainer or other
model, and trial and error. The trainer must encourage the person he
or she is helping to "launch out" and practice the new learning. At
times it also will be necessary to analyze what goes wrong when there
is failure and the trainee must be urged to try again.
Christ-actualization. Here is where the faith of the trainer is
shared. This is to indicate that the goal in life is to be complete
in Christ, developing our greatest potential through the power of the
Holy Spirit who brings us to spiritual maturity.
Support. Often people are able to meet each of the above goals and to
function effectively, except for temporary periods of unusual stress
or crisis. Such persons can benefit from a period of support,
encouragement, and "burden bearing" until they are able to remobilize
their personal and spiritual resources to effectively meet the
problems of living.
Getting Started
Today we live in a world of quick fixes, fast foods, and instant
replay. We aren't content wit waiting for answers tomorrow; we want
everything today, right now.
When it comes to unraveling difficulties, most folks want immediate
painless solutions. And, of course, such do not usually exist.
The person who has turned to you for help is probably at a fork in the
road of life, and the decision or choice which will be made may have
consequences which extend far into the future.
What you say may keep a friend's marriage together; it may send
someone in the direction of a new career; it may even make the
difference between life and death for someone who has lost his way.
In a previous lesson I pointed out the fact that we do bear a
responsibility before God for each other as part of the family of God
- helping, guiding, and encouraging one another. Jesus told the
disciples that after He had returned to heaven they would carry on His
works and even do greater works than He had done. his words must have
been intimidating; nonetheless, they were true.
Today the healing restoring, training ministry of Jesus is done
through us, His people, His body. That knowledge should not only make
you want to better equip and train yourself in helping people, but
should also make you more willing to make the sacrifices and take the
risks necessary in helping someone else.
Training People Takes Time
When someone finally gets around to that question, "What do you think
I should do? The ball is in your court.
You can, of course, ignore the question and not respond. But the
person wouldn't have asked unless he or she was serious about wanting
your input. Your failure to respond, or at least to listen, tends to
endorse what he or she intends to do. Since you didn't respond
otherwise, the person assumes that you are in agreement. It's
dangerous.
Failing to follow through when you are asked for help may actually
result in doing more to harm a person than to help. If you do not
have the time to help someone, or you feel the better part of
discretion would be to let someone else help (which may be appropriate
when the one who needs help is close to you), or you simply are not
qualified, you still must do something to get the ball across the
court.
Guidelines for Effective Training
* When you are asked, "What do you think I should do?" Reserve your
comment until you are certain that you have the complete picture.
The greatest single failure of inexperienced leaders is to jump to
conclusions, saying things such as "Well, it's obvious to me what your
problem is..." or mentally thumbing through your memorized roster of
Bible verses, selecting a couple which seem to have enough weight and
then, bang! Hit 'em between the eyes with both of them.
But when you come down hard on someone without understanding the
situation, you frustrate and even anger the person who has come to you
for help. You'll never hear those words, "What do you think I should
do?" from that person again.
Simplistic solutions to complex issues offer no real help, either.
Whether you call it "the problem" and "the real problem," or "surface
problems" and "root problems," deep intimate situations of a sensitive
nature that may result in embarrassment are not easily addressed. It
takes time and confidence in you for a person to be willing to talk
about them.
* Be principled as you handle the confidence of people.
Nothing will hurt a relationship or destroy your credibility faster
than breaking confidence with people. It adds insult to injury and
bitterness to sorrow.
When a person's life is endangered or the consequences of somebody's
actions violate the law or seriously affect the lives of other people,
you have no alternative but to bring someone else into the picture.
What I recommend is that you convince the person who has come to you
that you care, you are a friend, and you love the person so much that
you will stand with him or her through this whole situation. Then
show the person that other people are necessary to resolve the
problem. You love them too much to make a mistake; therefore you are
bringing into the relationship someone who is better trained to help.
Knowing that you would be willing to go with a trainee to talk to
someone about a problem is often enough to help someone make the
right decision and begin to work through a problem which has been
pushed aside for far too long.
* Be patient with people
Habits that have been many years in the making may not be resolved in
a matter of a few minutes. At the same time, however, you have the
right to expect change, realizing that the Holy Spirit is the greatest
agent of behavioral change the world has ever known. Jay Adams says,
"Change for some people is difficult to accept. Change is difficult
because change means doing something new, something unusual, something
not done before. It usually means exchanging old habit patterns for
new ones." Yet growth requires change, and the fact that someone is
hurting necessitates change in personal relationships or patterns of
behavior. It must come. But it must come with time.
* Be Professional
You can value a relationship with someone so much that you treat the
confidence he or she has placed in you in a professional manner.
Whenever you reach out to a hurting person of the opposite sex, you
run the risk of emotional involvement. You can be concerned with
people and at the same time keep your emotions firmly in control.
Scores of individuals, though, have listened to someone pour out his
or her heart, hearing how a mate had been betrayed. Then as the
scalding tears came, the person reached out in a warm embrace to
comfort the one being counseled. And from that high voltage emotional
situation a compromised relationship developed, eventually leading to
the downfall of the marriage of the person who was trying to help.
However some people whose marriages are solid do get emotionally
involved in helping others, a danger which only you can evaluate. A
warm handshake, direct eye contact, a hospitable cup of coffee or a
coke are all ways of conveying warmth apart from physical contact.
Some folks are "huggers," and embracing someone who is hurting is just
as natural for them as it is for others to take a hand and shake it
warmly. I, for one, advise a certain reluctance when it comes to
embracing members of the opposite sex who have come to you for help or
training. Their emotions may be volatile, and the person you embrace
may wish desperately that a mate would do the same thing. When you
embrace someone, even though it is in an office setting or even the
warmth of your home, your action can trigger an emotional response
which is not in the best interest of either of you.
Never train a member of the opposite sex when you question your
ability to handle a situation.
It's O.K. to bring your husband or wife into a training situation,
especially when you are training a member of the opposite sex, by
saying, "You know, Bob (your husband) has a lot of insights into how
guys think and feel. What would you think about joining us for a cup
of coffee Friday night, and we can all talk about this together?"
For your own safe guard against training with someone in a place where
your integrity could be called into question (such as in a home with
someone of the opposite sex when no one else is present, or in a hotel
room). While both of you may be entirely trustworthy and your
willingness to help may be completely honorable, the circumstances
don't make the situation look legitimate, something which Paul warned
against (see 1 Thess. 5:22).
* Recognize Your own Limitations
You never lose the respect of someone when you say, "You know, I'd
like to help you with this, but it is more than I can handle. I'd
like to suggest that you see..." (and make a referral to a counselor
or a physician).
Don't play medical doctor, either. It's dangerous as well as
unethical. If someone you are working with has made a commitment to
Jesus Christ, and that person has been under the care of a medical
doctor who has prescribed medication, don't say, "Now that you have
found the Lord, you aren't going to need your medicine anymore!"
* Nurture your relationship with the Person you are Training.
Your effectiveness with the person you want to help is determined to a
large degree by the relationship you have with that person. Why did
your trainee come to you initially? Because you are a "nice person"?
You just happened to be there? He or she needs help? Possibly all
three, yet the person struggling with some issue felt you could help,
even if it was only be extending a sympathetic, listening ear. Often
you help another person a great deal by simply listening - something
perhaps no one else has done.
When you train, your relationship is especially important. Proverbs
27:6 notes, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend." A loyal friend is
honest. Words of leaders may hurt and even wound, as the writer of
Proverbs attested, but those wounds will heal and may prevent a far
greater tragedy.
If you tell someone only what he or she wants to hear, your value as a
leader is diminished; on the other hand, if you are so harsh that you
drive the person away, your effectiveness is finished.
It is painful for some people to face reality, especially when it
doesn't live up to their ideals. An affair falls into that category;
it is a temporary, sometimes "make believe" situation which usually
terminates in heartache and suffering.
If you are training with a couple, you strive to be neutral and
objective; yet when issues of right and wrong are at stake, the
offending person may feel that you as a leader have "ganged up" with
the offended party. It is important that you make the one you are
trying to help feel accepted as a person though you may reject his or
her behavior. How is this done?
Relationships that are built on the foundation of respect, trust, and
genuine cordiality form bonds that enable you to keep the lines of
communication open when the going gets sticky. Your character and
integrity give you status and respect in the eyes of other people.
Though you may not have thought of yourself in this light, people
think of you as "having your act together," meaning they think you can
help them get their act together as well.
Before a person runs the risk of becoming vulnerable by telling you
where he is hurting, he or she usually asks three questions: Can this
person help me? Does he or she care about me? Does this person know
what he or she is talking about?
The last question (a matter of knowledge) doesn't cut a lot of ice
with most people. Bartenders dispense a lot of advice, but few
bartenders have had any training in leadership. If you tend to
pontificate or come across as a authority figure who sits in
condemnation on the person who turns to you, you're finished.
Genuine, warm concern for people forges lasting relationships that
allow you to be an anchor when the storms of life buffet people.
Actually, the preparation is done long before you ever hear those
words, "What do you think I should do?"
Surely Jesus radiated this kind of warmth to the people who were
touched by His life.
A lesson can be learned from the way Jesus handled the conversation
wit the fallen woman. He knew exactly where she was coming from, yet
refrained from asking the questions some would ask, such as:
How did you get into this profession?
How many men do you see every night?
Do you enjoy what you are doing?
Christ didn't focus on the past, but the present ("Where are your
accusers?") and the future ("Go and sin no more!"). When you train
the real issue is: where do you go from here and how do you get there?
* Rely totally upon the Lord as you train people
The person who is a Godly leader and friend prays as he listens. It
isn't necessary for you to close your eyes, but it is important to be
in an attitude of prayer as you say, "Lord, help me to pick up the
silent signals, to read the nonverbal cues, and to hear what is really
being said."
The Holy Spirit often gives you intuitive knowledge to ask the right
questions, so that the person begins to reveal the real issue.
The Techniques of Training
Training is primarily a relationship in which one person, the trainer,
seeks to train another human being on how to have a better "Quality of
Life". The trainer's needs are mostly met elsewhere and he or she
does not depend on the trainee for love, affirmation, or help. The
trainer attempts to step out of his or her own conflicts to become
aware of the trainee's needs, and to communicate both understanding
and a willingness to help and care. The giving of help and caring can
be a complicated process, impossible to describe adequately in a few
paragraphs. We can, however, summarize some of the more basic
techniques that are used in any helping situation.
1. Attending. The trainer must try to give undivided attention to
the trainee. This is done through (a) eye contact - looking without
staring as a way to convey concern and understanding; (b) posture,
which should be relaxed rather than tense, and generally involves
leaning toward the trainee and; (c) gestures that are natural but not
excessive or distracting. The trainer should be courteous, kind,
strongly motivated to understand. He or she should be alert to some
of the inner distractions which prevent us from attending carefully:
fatigue, impatience, preoccupation with other matters, daydreaming and
restlessness. Lifestyle-training clearly is difficult and demanding
work which involves sensitivity, genuine expressions of care, and
alertness in attending to another both lifestyle and spiritually.
2. Listening. This involves more than a passive reception of
messages. Effective listening involves:
having sufficient awareness and resolution of one's own conflicts to
avoid reacting in a way that interferes with the trainee's free
expression of thoughts and feelings;
avoiding subtle verbal or nonverbal expressions of disdain or judgment
toward the content of the trainee's story, even when that content
offends the trainer's sensibilities;
waiting patiently through periods of silence or tears as the trainee
summons up courage to delve into painful material or pauses to collect
his or her thoughts or to regain composure;
hearing not only what the trainee says but what he or she is trying to
say and what is left unsaid:
using both ears and eyes to detect messages which come from tone of
voice, posture, and other nonverbal clues;
scanning one's own reactions to the trainee;
avoiding looking away from the trainee as he or she speaks;
sitting still;
limiting the number of mental excursions into one's own life
experiences;
controlling those feelings toward the trainee that interfere with an
accepting, sympathetic, nonjudgmental attitude;
realizing that full acceptance of the trainee is possible without
condoning or sanctioning attitudes and behavior destructive of the
trainee or of others.
It is easy to ignore all of this, and to slip quickly into advice-
giving and excessive talking. This prevents the trainee from really
expressing hurts, clarifying a problem through talking, sharing all of
the details of an issue or experiencing the relief that comes with
catharsis. Trainers who talk a lot may give good advice but it is
seldom heard and even less likely to be followed. In such situations
trainees feel that they have not been understood. In contrast,
listening is a way of telling a trainee, "I care."
3. Responding. It should not be assumed, however, that the trainer
does nothing but listen. Jesus was a good listener (consider his time
with the perplexed pair on the road to Emmaus, for example) but his
training also was characterized by action and specific verbal
responses.
Leading is a skill by which the trainer slightly anticipates the
trainee's direction of thought and responds in a way that redirects
the conversation. "Can you elaborate on ...?" "What happened then?"
"What did you mean by ...? - all are brief questions which hopefully
direct the discussion into maximally productive directions.
Reflecting is a way of letting trainees know that we are "with them"
and can understand their feelings or thinking. "You must feel ...,"
"I bet that was frustrating," "That must have been fun" - all of
these reflect what is going on in training. Be careful not to reflect
after every statement (do it periodically) and try to avoid stereotype
responses (e.g., frequently repeating sentences beginning with phrases
such as "You must think ..." or "I hear you saying that ..."). A
brief summary of what has been going on can also be a way of
reflecting and stimulating more trainee exploration. The trainer may
summarize feelings ("that must have hurt") and/or general themes of
content ("'from all of this it sounds like you have had a whole string
of failures"), but always give the trainee time and opportunity to
respond to such reflecting - summarizing.
Questioning, if done skillfully, can bring forth a great deal of
useful information. The best questions are those which require at
least a sentence or two from the trainee (e.g., "Tell me about your
marriage") rather than those which can bee answered in one word ("Are
you married?" "What is your age?"). Beginning trainers ask more
questions than experienced trainers, and since extensive questioning
can stifle communication, students are often instructed to ask few
questions. Also questions beginning with "Why" are usually avoided
since these tend either to sound judgmental, or to stimulate long
intellectual discussions which avoid coming to grips with the real
feelings or hurts that the trainee may have.
Confronting means presenting some idea to the trainee that he or she
might not see otherwise. Trainees can be confronted with sin in their
lives, failures, inconsistencies, or self-defeating behavior and they
should be encouraged to change their behavior or attitudes.
Confrontation is best done in a loving, gentle, nonjudgmental manner.
Nevertheless it often brings resistance, guilt, and sometimes anger
from the trainee. It becomes important, therefore, that the trainer
allow time for the trainee to respond verbally to the confrontation
and to discuss alternative ways of behaving. At times such a
confrontation leads to confession and a significant experience of
forgiveness. Confrontation is an important and sometimes difficult
part of training, but it is not the only skill involved in training
people.
Informing involves giving facts to people in need of information.
This is different from a trainer sharing opinions or giving advice.
Information is commonplace and an accepted part of training; advice-
giving is much more controversial. Advice-givers often lack enough
knowledge of a situation to give competent advice, their advice-giving
encourages the counselee to be dependent, and if the advice proves
invalid it is the trainer who later is made to feel responsibility for
giving bad direction. Whenever you are asked for advice or inclined
to give advice, be sure that you are well-informed about the
situation. Do you have enough information and expertise to validly
advise another? Then ask yourself what might be the end results of
this advice-giving. Is it likely to make the trainee more dependent?
Can you handle the feelings that might come if your advice is rejected
or proven wrong? If you then do give advice, offer it in the form of
a tentative suggestion, give the trainee time to react and talk
through your advice, and follow up later to see the extent to which
the advice was helpful.
Interpretation involves explaining to the trainee what his or her
behavior or other events mean. This is a highly technical skill with
great potential for enabling trainees to see themselves and their
situations more clearly. But interpretations can also be harmful,
especially if they are introduced before the trainee can handle the
material emotionally, or if the interpretations are wrong. If, as a
trainer, you begin to see some possible explanations for another
person's challenges, ask yourself if the trainee is intellectually and
emotionally ready to handle such an insight, keep the terms simple as
you interpret, present your interpretation in a tentative way (e.g.,
"Could it be that ... ?") and allow time for the trainee to respond.
As you discuss the interpretation the trainee often develops even
greater insights and is able to explore future courses of action with
the trainer.
Supporting and encouraging are important parts of any training
situation, especially at the beginning. When people are burdened by
needs and conflicts they can benefit from the stability and care of an
empathic person who shows acceptance and can give reassurance. his is
more than holding up the downtrodden, however. Support includes
guiding the trainee to take stock of his or her own spiritual and
psychological resources, encouraging action, and helping with any
problems or failures that may come as a result of this action.
4. Teaching. The trainer is an educator, teaching by instruction, by
example, and by leading the trainee as he or she learns to cope with
the challenges of life, into a better "Quality of Life." As with
other less personal forms of education, training is most effective
when the discussions ("How can I control my temper when I am
criticized by my wife?") rather than on nebulous goals (I want to be
happier").
The Process of Training
Training is not a step-by-step process such as baking a cake, or even
preparing a sermon. Each trainee is unique - with problems,
attitudes, values, expectations and experiences that are unlike any
other. The trainer (whose own challenges, attitudes, values,
expectations and experiences are also brought to the counseling
situations) must approach each individual a little differently and
will discover that the course of training will vary from person to
person.
In every training relationship, however, it would appear that there
are several steps, the first three of which may be repeated several
times as problems are considered and reconsidered. These steps
involve building and maintaining a relationship between trainer and
trainee; exploring challenges to clarify issues and determine how the
problems can be handled; deciding on a course of action; stimulating
the trainee to act; evaluating progress and deciding on subsequent
actions; and terminating the training relationship by encouraging and
guiding the trainee to launch out without the trainers continuing
help.
For example, the first step of building a relationship is especially
important at the beginning when trainees (and trainers) might be
nervous and apprehensive. However, once a relationship has begun it
must be maintained, so the trainer must never completely lose sight of
step one. In training there is a vacillation back and forth between
these stages as problems become clearer, solutions are found between
these stages as challenges become clearer, solutions are found, and
the training moves to termination.
Regardless of how effective the training, its influence can be
undermined if the trainee leaves the session and forgets or ignores
what has been learned. To meet this problem, many trainers give
homework assignments - projects which are designed to strengthen,
expand and extend the process of training beyond the trainee's time
with the trainer.
Homework in Training
Some people learn best through hearing - listening to the words of
others. Some learn best through seeing - reading books, watching
movies, and looking at diagrams. Then there are people who learn best
through doing - completing projects, doing role plays, or acting out
their feelings. Although there have been some recent exceptions. In
spite of this potential for diversity five types of homework task
agreements have been used most often:
Testing. This includes questionnaires, sentence completion forms,
standardized tests, and writing assignments (such as preparing a brief
biography, listing life goals, making a list of what one likes and
dislikes about a job, and so on). These written responses are then
taken back to the trainer where they are discussed.
Discussion and Study Guides. These sometimes appear in the appendixes
of books but entire volumes have been devoted to guiding home study or
small group discussion. Sometimes this study takes place
independently of any training. Sometimes the study is a task
agreement to be completed between training sessions and discussed
subsequently in training.
Behavior Assignments. Trainees sometimes are encouraged to change
their actions in some small but important ways between training
sessions. Saying "thank you," giving periodic compliments, not
complaining about some annoying practice of one's mate, getting to
work on time, reading the Bible for ten minutes daily - these are the
kinds of behavior change suggestions which trainers give and then
discuss with trainees.
Reading. Books and articles often contain helpful information which
can supplement the training sessions.
Audio/Visual Media. CD's, video/audio tapes, internet, etc..
literally thousands of media are currently available on a wide variety
of subjects. The quality of the media and the accuracy of the
information is not always good, but these can be improved and used as
a helpful supplement to personal training.
The Start of your Spirit-Anointed Leadership and Revival
David took the throne under horrible circumstances. The Philistines
had defeated the Israeli army, the Amalekites were attacking on a
different front, and total destruction seemed inevitable. But then
came David.
If you were to fast-forward through the life of David, you would see
an astonishing thing. This shepherd-commoner consolidated the
kingdom, drove back Israel's enemies on every side, forged a
prosperous peace, and extended the size of the kingdom by almost 600%.
How did he accomplish all of that? 1 Samuel 16:13 "So Samuel took the
horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from
that day on the Spirit of the LORD came upon David in power."
When the Holy Spirit came powerfully upon David, two things resulted.
They are permanently engraved in the powerful summary of David's life
that his friend Asaph wrote in Psalm 78:72. "And David shepherded them
with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them."
This combination explains his remarkable success as a man of God. We
have and will focus on the integrity of heart in other lessons. here
we are going to focus on skillful leadership.
Here is a controversial statement: Every sin, sorrow, or sickness hat
has ever existed in this world has come about due to a lack of
skillful leadership. Let me try to prove my point.
In Genesis 1:28, God commanded Adam to "rule over... every living
creature that moves on the ground." This authority was from God.
When Satan came to tempt Adam and Eve, he came as a serpent... a
living creature that moves on the ground. Adam had been commanded to
rule over living creatures that move on the ground! Suddenly, here
was one! If Adam had exercised leadership when Satan began to tempt
them, and had commanded Satan to stop questioning God and to leave,
Satan would have been FORCED to comply, because Adam had been given
dominion. How different would our world be today if Adam had
exercised the authority that God had given him?
You see, God had not left Adam and Eve defenseless against an attack
of this type. God had given them all the authority they needed to
rebuff this attack, but they failed to use it. If they had exerted
SKILLED leadership and taken dominion there would be no sin (and
therefore, no sorrow, or sickness) in our world today.
Let's contrast Adam with Jesus Jesus was not intimidate by Satan's
temptation: he responded to it with authority. He quoted the
authority of the Word of God and then He exercised the dominion that
Adam had failed to use, when He said (Matt. 4:10) "Away from Me,
Satan."
Therefore (contrary to the thinking of many) taking leadership is not
carnal; it is Christ-like. When Adam failed to lead, our world was
plunged into sin. When Jesus exercised leadership in the face of
Satan's temptation, we were saved. Scripture tells us that we are to
be like our LORD, not Adam.
Throughout the Old Testament, God commanded and coaxed individuals to
lead His people. They refused and asked Him to send someone else,
like Moses did, or they had to be drawn out of hiding, like Gideon.
God is the initiator of these calls to lead. He is the One who is
always trying to get His people to exert leadership!
But Christians today fail to exercise leadership and whenever they do,
our enemy is always willing to fil the leadership vacuum left by
reluctant believers. Will Christians not lead in the political
arena? Then the devil will press his political agenda. Will
Christians not lead in the educational system? Then Satan will take
charge of our schools. Will Christians not lead in the area of
justice? Then our enemy will take the lead in our judicial system and
justice will be denied to those who need it most.
May God forgive us for the cowardly abdication of leadership that has
caused us to leave the field of battle and permit our enemy to win by
default. Where righteous men lead, righteousness prevails. That is
why the Lord seeks obedient men and women who are willing to be
leaders.
May we learn from Jesus how to lead people entrusted to our care!
Christian Leadership
The Challenge
E-mail and cell phones provide instant access to leaders. Technology
has made today's leaders constantly and instantly accessible to
people. With such access, people often expect immediate responses
from their leaders. Such pressure to make rapid decisions and to
maintain steady communication can intimidate even the most zealous
leader. Our world craves good leaders. People are warily looking for
leaders they can trust.
In the Church
People are desperate for leaders who can make positive changes in
their lives! Society at large is displaying widespread and growing
interest in spiritual issues. Amazingly, at a time of renewed
societal interest in spiritual things, many churches and denominations
are declining. According to George Barna, "the American church is
dying due to a lack of strong leadership. In this time of
unprecedented opportunity and plentiful resources, the church is
actually losing influence. The primary reason is the lack of
leadership. Nothing is more important than leadership" Although the
leadership shortage is universally acknowledged, there is little
consensus on how to discover and develop leaders.
Spiritual
In times past, churches focused on the Great Commission. Today's
churches adopt mission statements. Contemporary Christian leaders
build teams and lead their people through team-building exercises.
Today's churches use state-of-the-art marketing principles to reach
their communities. Many church leaders claim these innovations have
resulted in dramatic growth in their congregations, including a
significant proportion of converts. Other Christian leaders decry
such approaches as blatant theological and biblical compromise.
A pastor's ability is measured in terms of numbers of people, dollars,
and buildings. The more of each, the more successful the pastor. The
godliness of a minister may not be enough to satisfy a congregation
looking to keep up with the church down the street. Likewise,
Christian organizations seem willing to overlook significant character
flaws, and even moral lapses, as long as their leader continues to
produce.
In this course, it will become clear that many of the "modern"
leadership principles currenbtly being espoused are, in fact, biblical
principles that have been commanded by God throughout history.
God or King?
The world measured a kingdom's success by its grand palaces and
magnificent armies. But citizenship in such kingdoms come with many
stiff prices. God could not have been more clear about the
consequences of choosing worldly leadership over divine leadership.
Scripture indicates that it is a mistake to separate the spiritual
world from the secular world.
God created people to be spiritual beings. Every person, Christian
and non-Christian alike, is a spiritual person with spiritual needs.
As an example, God is the author of human relationships. Jesus Christ
is the Lord of all believers whether they are at church or at work.
The kingdom of God is in fact, the rule of God in every area of life,
including the church, home, workplace, and neighborhood. To ignore
these truths is to do so at one's peril..
Society's problems are more than just a lack of leaders. Society's
great deficit is that it does not have enough leaders who understand
and practice Christian principles of leadership. Jesus summed up this
truth for every executive, politician, schoolteacher, lawyer, doctor,
and parent, when he said: "'But seek first his kingdom and his
righteousness and all these things will be given to you as
well'" (Matt. 6:33 NIV).
One's calling as a Christian not only takes precedence over his or her
career; it actually gives direction to that career. Moreover, a
Christian's calling will give meaning to everry area of life. The
world needs political leaders who seek their guidance from the Holy
Spirit and not from the latest public opinion poll. The world needs
religious leaders who are on God's agenda and not on their own. The
world needs husbands and wives, mothers and fathers who know how to
apply biblical promises in their homes rather than merely implementing
advice from the latest self-help books.
Messages directly from God
Jeremiah 6:15; 8:12
Matthew 24:11
1 Samuel 8:10-22a
Matthew 6:33
Conclusion
It is our sincere belief that the following passage applies to every
Christian: "The eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth
that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His" (2
Chron. 16:9a).
Student Prayer
O Lord, help me to be open to the comments of others. let me face my
shortcomings with dignity and open-mindedness. Help me ever to work
to change myself for the better. Amen.
Homework
You are visiting a friend at home who has just come home from the
hospital with a broken leg. Help him feel better?
You have a friend who is depressed because his/her job. You are to
talk with him/her about his/her feelings, to listen, and to help the
feelings get out in the open?
Which of the caring methods seemed more effective? More caring? Why?
Would you label one as result oriented and the other as caring?
Now discuss some or what you have learned within this exercise?
The gift that you gave others by sharing your life story was:?
How can we help you in prayer this week?
Read 1 Cor. 1:18-2:5
What was the wisdom and strength of God?
Is Paul rejecting education itself, or some related and prideful
assumptions? Explain?
What situations can you think of where God uses the weak, lowely, and
despised to build His Kingdom in our day?
How does the fact that people confuse the world's power with God's
power affect you?
How does the image of today's successful people conflict with
following Christ?
For more information go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jeramiahs_back_again/
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