| Topic: |
Religions > Bible |
| User: |
"SJAB1958" |
| Date: |
12 Oct 2006 06:42:46 AM |
| Object: |
Go Figure 3 |
According to a 2005 Pew Research Center poll, 70 percent of evangelical
Christians believe that living beings have always existed in their
present form.
So how did Noah get all them critters onto the ark?
Which brings me to my next question;
How many of each kind went into the ark? Was it two of every sort (Gen
6:19-20); or was it the clean by sevens and the unclean by twos (Gen
7:2-3); or was it two and two? (Gen 7:9)
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| User: "Bob Pease" |
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| Title: Re: Go Figure 3 |
12 Oct 2006 09:33:04 AM |
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"SJAB1958" <balfres@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1160653366.437431.252350@i42g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
According to a 2005 Pew Research Center poll, 70 percent of evangelical
Christians believe that living beings have always existed in their
present form.
So how did Noah get all them critters onto the ark?
Today's top Ten
1. Shriinking machine
2. Magic powder
3. they were able to co-3exist in the same space because the Lord made e'm
holler
4. There were only enough animals to represent some clades. Today's existing
aniimals were magically modifed by the Lord after the Arc Landed
5. Space ships teleported most of them after they entered the Arc
8, Space Warp
7. Cubits was bigger in those days
8. We must not queston the ways of the Lord
9. What are you a commie wise guy??
and (TA-DA!!) number ten...
Noah said "gopher wood," so They went for Wood
Which brings me to my next question;
How many of each kind went into the ark? Was it two of every sort (Gen
6:19-20); or was it the clean by sevens and the unclean by twos (Gen
7:2-3); or was it two and two? (Gen 7:9)
The verse ctually refers to 2x4 planks which were used to prod them on
entry
RJ Pease
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| User: "The Last Conformist" |
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| Title: Re: Go Figure 3 |
12 Oct 2006 06:53:39 AM |
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SJAB1958 wrote:
According to a 2005 Pew Research Center poll, 70 percent of evangelical
Christians believe that living beings have always existed in their
present form.
So how did Noah get all them critters onto the ark?
Which brings me to my next question;
How many of each kind went into the ark? Was it two of every sort (Gen
6:19-20); or was it the clean by sevens and the unclean by twos (Gen
7:2-3); or was it two and two? (Gen 7:9)
The Ark was a nuclear sub on the outside and a generationship on the
inside. Non-Euclidean geometry for the win!
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| User: "John Wilkins" |
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| Title: Re: Go Figure 3 |
12 Oct 2006 07:12:25 AM |
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The Last Conformist <andreasj@gmail.com> wrote:
SJAB1958 wrote:
According to a 2005 Pew Research Center poll, 70 percent of evangelical
Christians believe that living beings have always existed in their
present form.
So how did Noah get all them critters onto the ark?
Which brings me to my next question;
How many of each kind went into the ark? Was it two of every sort (Gen
6:19-20); or was it the clean by sevens and the unclean by twos (Gen
7:2-3); or was it two and two? (Gen 7:9)
The Ark was a nuclear sub on the outside and a generationship on the
inside. Non-Euclidean geometry for the win!
It's not widely known, but the Ark was in fact a Timelord Tardis, and
Noah was - you guessed - a Timelord. YHWH was a Dalek.
--
John S. Wilkins, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Biohumanities Project
University of Queensland - Blog: scienceblogs.com/evolvingthoughts
"He used... sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor,
bathos, puns, parody, litotes and... satire. He was vicious."
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| User: "Puppet_Sock" |
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| Title: Re: Go Figure 3 |
12 Oct 2006 09:50:20 AM |
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John Wilkins wrote:
[snip]
It's not widely known, but the Ark was in fact a Timelord Tardis, and
Noah was - you guessed - a Timelord. YHWH was a Dalek.
Thus explaining the flood. "Exterminate! Exterminate!"
Socks
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| User: "r norman" |
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| Title: Re: Go Figure 3 |
12 Oct 2006 07:37:58 AM |
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On Thu, 12 Oct 2006 22:12:25 +1000, (John
Wilkins) wrote:
The Last Conformist <andreasj@gmail.com> wrote:
SJAB1958 wrote:
According to a 2005 Pew Research Center poll, 70 percent of evangelical
Christians believe that living beings have always existed in their
present form.
So how did Noah get all them critters onto the ark?
Which brings me to my next question;
How many of each kind went into the ark? Was it two of every sort (Gen
6:19-20); or was it the clean by sevens and the unclean by twos (Gen
7:2-3); or was it two and two? (Gen 7:9)
The Ark was a nuclear sub on the outside and a generationship on the
inside. Non-Euclidean geometry for the win!
It's not widely known, but the Ark was in fact a Timelord Tardis, and
Noah was - you guessed - a Timelord. YHWH was a Dalek.
Ye of little faith. I know where you will be spending eternity!
See ya there. We'll have a lot to talk about.
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| User: "John Wilkins" |
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| Title: Re: Go Figure 3 |
12 Oct 2006 08:59:01 AM |
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r norman <r_s_norman@_comcast.net> wrote:
On Thu, 12 Oct 2006 22:12:25 +1000, (John
Wilkins) wrote:
The Last Conformist <andreasj@gmail.com> wrote:
SJAB1958 wrote:
According to a 2005 Pew Research Center poll, 70 percent of evangelical
Christians believe that living beings have always existed in their
present form.
So how did Noah get all them critters onto the ark?
Which brings me to my next question;
How many of each kind went into the ark? Was it two of every sort (Gen
6:19-20); or was it the clean by sevens and the unclean by twos (Gen
7:2-3); or was it two and two? (Gen 7:9)
The Ark was a nuclear sub on the outside and a generationship on the
inside. Non-Euclidean geometry for the win!
It's not widely known, but the Ark was in fact a Timelord Tardis, and
Noah was - you guessed - a Timelord. YHWH was a Dalek.
Ye of little faith. I know where you will be spending eternity!
See ya there. We'll have a lot to talk about.
Cybermen?
--
John S. Wilkins, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Biohumanities Project
University of Queensland - Blog: scienceblogs.com/evolvingthoughts
"He used... sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor,
bathos, puns, parody, litotes and... satire. He was vicious."
.
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| User: "Pithecanthropus Erectus" |
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| Title: Re: Go Figure 3 |
14 Oct 2006 01:50:41 PM |
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The Last Conformist wrote:
SJAB1958 wrote:
According to a 2005 Pew Research Center poll, 70 percent of evangelical
Christians believe that living beings have always existed in their
present form.
So how did Noah get all them critters onto the ark?
Which brings me to my next question;
How many of each kind went into the ark? Was it two of every sort (Gen
6:19-20); or was it the clean by sevens and the unclean by twos (Gen
7:2-3); or was it two and two? (Gen 7:9)
The Ark was a nuclear sub on the outside and a generationship on the
inside. Non-Euclidean geometry for the win!
And he built a crooked Ark:
http://tinyurl.com/wylkm
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| User: "Puppet_Sock" |
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| Title: Re: Go Figure 3 |
12 Oct 2006 09:57:11 AM |
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SJAB1958 wrote:
[snip]
So how did Noah get all them critters onto the ark?
The story of The Ark is silly from start to finish. It would require
an entire program of miracles, dozens of them, hundreds even.
But this does not bother the truly faithful, as they believe very
hard indeed.
Still, why so many miracles when a single "smite dead all
the wicked" miracle would have been much simpler? Clearly
God had a lot of time on his hands in those days, and was
looking for something to keep busy.
Socks
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| User: "Andrew Arensburger" |
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| Title: Re: Go Figure 3 |
12 Oct 2006 12:12:18 PM |
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In talk.origins Puppet_Sock <puppet_sock@hotmail.com> wrote:
Still, why so many miracles when a single "smite dead all
the wicked" miracle would have been much simpler? Clearly
God had a lot of time on his hands in those days, and was
looking for something to keep busy.
Indeed. A lot of Bible stories work _as stories_, but not in
the real world, much like a Bond villain who sets up an elaborate trap
instead of just shooting Our Hero in the head.
Similarly, the story of Jesus' sacrifice for our sins makes
for a good story, but doesn't make sense: why would an omnipotent,
omniscient god need to sacrifice himself to himself to make himself
forgive us for breaking the rules he set up, just as he knew he would?
That's just bad management.
--
Andrew Arensburger, Systems guy University of Maryland
arensb.no-bloody-spam@umd.edu Office of Information Technology
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
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| User: "CreateThis" |
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| Title: Re: Go Figure 3 |
12 Oct 2006 01:36:06 PM |
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On Thu, 12 Oct 2006 17:12:18 +0000 (UTC), Andrew Arensburger
<arensb.no-bloody-spam@umd.edu> wrote:
In talk.origins Puppet_Sock <puppet_sock@hotmail.com> wrote:
Still, why so many miracles when a single "smite dead all
the wicked" miracle would have been much simpler? Clearly
God had a lot of time on his hands in those days, and was
looking for something to keep busy.
Indeed. A lot of Bible stories work _as stories_, but not in
the real world, much like a Bond villain who sets up an elaborate trap
instead of just shooting Our Hero in the head.
Similarly, the story of Jesus' sacrifice for our sins makes
for a good story, but doesn't make sense: why would an omnipotent,
omniscient god need to sacrifice himself to himself to make himself
forgive us for breaking the rules he set up, just as he knew he would?
You just don't get it, do you?
CT
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| User: "Andrew Arensburger" |
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| Title: Re: Go Figure 3 |
12 Oct 2006 05:00:27 PM |
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In talk.origins CreateThis <CreateThis@yippee.con> wrote:
On Thu, 12 Oct 2006 17:12:18 +0000 (UTC), Andrew Arensburger
<arensb.no-bloody-spam@umd.edu> wrote:
Similarly, the story of Jesus' sacrifice for our sins makes
for a good story, but doesn't make sense: why would an omnipotent,
omniscient god need to sacrifice himself to himself to make himself
forgive us for breaking the rules he set up, just as he knew he would?
You just don't get it, do you?
Nope. If you have a sensible explanation, I'm all ears.
--
Andrew Arensburger, Systems guy University of Maryland
arensb.no-bloody-spam@umd.edu Office of Information Technology
Hacking is a conversational black hole.
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| User: "SJAB1958" |
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| Title: Re: Go Figure 3 |
13 Oct 2006 04:48:11 AM |
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Andrew Arensburger wrote:
In talk.origins CreateThis <CreateThis@yippee.con> wrote:
On Thu, 12 Oct 2006 17:12:18 +0000 (UTC), Andrew Arensburger
<arensb.no-bloody-spam@umd.edu> wrote:
Similarly, the story of Jesus' sacrifice for our sins makes
for a good story, but doesn't make sense: why would an omnipotent,
omniscient god need to sacrifice himself to himself to make himself
forgive us for breaking the rules he set up, just as he knew he would?
You just don't get it, do you?
Nope. If you have a sensible explanation, I'm all ears.
Now is that a violation of the laws of nature, an evolutionary quirk,
or are you a vulcan monitoring our planet's internet activities?
--
Andrew Arensburger, Systems guy University of Maryland
arensb.no-bloody-spam@umd.edu Office of Information Technology
Hacking is a conversational black hole.
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