Religions > Bible > If Jesus came back to life, Republicans would hate hin!
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Religions > Bible |
| User: |
"" |
| Date: |
30 Aug 2007 06:13:51 PM |
| Object: |
If Jesus came back to life, Republicans would hate hin! |
If Jesus came back from the grave, most Republicans and Evangelical
Christians would not like him, his politics, or his religion. This
awakened zombie Christ would be nothing like what they wanted or
expected. Firstly, Jesus would not look like a Caucasian American.
He would be short in stature, have very dark skin and black curly
hair, and he would have a round face, not a long Caucasian face.
According to anthropologists, that is how Jews in that area of the
world looked back then.
Jesus was a Jew. He was born a Jew, and he died a Jew. Jesus would
come back as a Jewish man, not as any kind of Christian, be it
Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, Catholic, or Quaker. Jesus
considered all non-Jews to be "swine." He would not drive a pickup
truck, like Country-Western music, or be anything resembling a
Republican or a Southern Baptist businessman or farmer. Jesus would
be considered by modern day psychiatrists to be a schizophrenic. One
moment he would be condemning war and violence, and telling us to
always "turn the other cheek," and the next moment he would be
breaking out in anger and destroying trees that don't bear fruit. He
would be hearing voices, talking to God, and having visions
(hallucination), all symptoms of the brain disease we known today as
"schizophrenia." Would an angry Jesus try to throw phony television
preachers like Pat Robertson off the air? Maybe!
Politically, Jesus would be a socialist in the vein of the current
president of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez. Jesus would be anti-imperialist
and anti-colonialist, and thus would be branded as anti-American. the
United State of America currently has over a 1,000 military bases on
foreign soil, scattered all over the world, and America has become the
greatest imperial empire in world history. Americans think they own
the world and can tell everyone in the world how to live and what to
think. America's arrogant, imperial, world controlling empire would
not fit in with Jesus's ardent pacifism, or his now antiquated form of
Jewish philosophy. Jesus would have little in common with modern day
Jews as well.
Evangelical Christians now support Israeli interests over American
interests, and their loyalty is to Israel more than to the United
States of America. Evangelical preachers have even declared publicly
that if forced to choose, they would choose Israel over the United
States of America. They feel that if they can start World War 3 in
the Middle East by supporting all Israeli actions, right or wrong,
good or evil, this zombie Christ will return from the grave and take
them all up to heaven, or create a new Christian paradise here on
earth. The problem is, if Jesus really did come back, most
Republicans and Evangelical Christians would hate his guts, and he
would have nothing in common with them, nor would he support their
Right Wing political agenda. Jesus said that "It is easier for a
camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter
the kingdom of God" (Matthew 19:24). That anti-capitalist message is
not exactly the Republican mantra these days! Jesus lived out of
wedlock with a prostitute named Mary Magdalene. That lifestyle hardly
fits in with "the Moral Majority."
Jesus would disappoint as a Las Vegas magic act as well, because he
could not walk on water, turn water into wine, or pull a rabid out of
his hat. All of the absurd myths of supernatural powers were added to
the story of Jesus long after the real Jesus was dead and gone. Over
the centuries, Europe's Christian religious leaders distorted the real
life history of Jesus beyond recognition, and added on all kinds of
crazy myths to make Jesus seem larger than life, and thus give their
religion more potency over the gullible masses, who they wished to
control. Organized religion is first and foremost a business. In
fact, and in life, Jesus was just a man. Jesus was just one of many
colorful Jewish religious teachers of his era. His rise to fame was
an accident of history. If he had never been crucified, it is likely
no one would even remember him. Martyrdom can turn anyone into a
hero, and sometimes, on rare occasions, even into a "God."
IB
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| User: "duke" |
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| Title: Re: If Jesus came back to life, Republicans would hate hin! |
31 Aug 2007 06:58:57 AM |
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On Thu, 30 Aug 2007 16:13:51 -0700, "inkyblacks@yahoo.com"
<inkyblacks@yahoo.com> wrote:
Jesus was a Jew. He was born a Jew, and he died a Jew.
Yes, yes, and not a chance.
Jesus specifically used every chance to break every one of the 639 manmade
Jewish laws. He specifically came to complete the old covenant and start a new
one.
duke, American-American
*****
"The Mass is the most perfect form of Prayer."
Pope Paul VI
*****
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