Judas and Christianity
Orthodox Christian theology teaches that Jesus had to die before God could
forgive sins and send people to heaven. If that's true, then why isn't
there a "Saint Judas?"
- Skip Church
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A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus
comes back, he's gonna wanna see a cross? Maybe that's why he hasn't shown
up yet. "*****! They're still wearing crosses. When they start wearing
fishes I'll go back, this is ridiculous. They've entirely missed the
meaning of this thing."
It's like going up to one of the Kennedy clan with a rifle pendant on.
"Just thinking of president John F. Kennedy, your uncle. We love him."
- Bill Hicks, Rant in E-minor, CD
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We Christians neither want nor worship crosses as the pagans do.
- Minucius Felix (Christian author, circa 200 A.D.)
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It was only in the third century (after 400 A.D.) that Christian
communities increasingly used "covert" crosses, which have survived in the
murals of the catacombs and on tombstones. They might be an anchor with a
crosspiece, a ship with a mast and yard, a human figure with outstretched
arms, or a juxtaposition of the initials of the name Jesus or Christ (in
Greek or Latin) to produce a cross-like shape. It was in the fourth century
that the cross became an openly Christian symbol. By that time crucifixion
as a method of state execution had been abolished and the cross ceased to
have its former cruel and negative associations. Several hundred years
later it was deemed a terrific symbol to use to ward off vampires, demons,
etc.
- Skip Church
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If Christ was executed today I bet Christians would wear little electric
chairs around their necks.
- ***** Gregory
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After the missionary explained the Bible's superior civilized plan of
salvation to several natives, one of them stood and said, "Like you, we
love our gods and seek to love one another. What we do not understand is
why your god tried to pin down sin by using His son as a voodoo doll."
- Skip Church
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Christianity is merely paganism with a more successful advertising
campaign.
- Skip Church
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Whenever I forgive someone it's relatively easy. But for God, it takes a
bloody miracle.
- Skip Church
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CONVERSATION, A.D. 33
A: Have you heard the latest?
B: No, what's happened?
A: The world has been redeemed!
B: You don't say!
A: Yes, the Dear Lord took on human form and had
himself executed in Jerusalem; and with that the world has
been redeemed and the devil hoodwinked.
B: Gosh, that's simply lovely.
- Arthur Shopenhauer
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CHIPMUNK CRUCIFIXION
No chipmunk had to be crucified
on a tiny cross of twigs
To save all the other chippies,
Had to have nails pounded
through his little paws,
Had to take upon himself
all the sins of all the chippies
that ever were or would be
and die in agony
So that after they died
all the chippies
could live again forever,
But only if they believed
in all the sayings and doings
of the chipmunk crucified
on the tiny cross of twigs.
- Antler, Last Words
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Christianity has a built-in defense system; anything that questions a
belief, no matter how logical the argument, is the work of Satan by the
very fact that it makes you question a belief. It is a very interesting
defense mechanism and the only way to get by it, and believe me I was
raised Southern Baptist, is to take heroic doses of mushrooms, sit in a
field, and just go, "Show me."
- Bill Hicks
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Isn't it ironic that Christians keep repeating, "Civilization will fail
without Christianity" on computers built by Buddhists in Japan?
- Source unknown
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Christians are generally creepy people as a direct result of the
dysfunctional dynamic of worshipping a dead naked hippie.
- Die Warzau, Engine Tour Shirt, 1995
www.edwardtbabinski.us
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