| Topic: |
Religions > Bible |
| User: |
"Craig Chilton" |
| Date: |
10 Dec 2003 04:29:55 AM |
| Object: |
OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
On Wed, 10 Dec 2003 04:47:55 -0500 (EST),
An Metet <anmetet@liberty.gmsociety.org> posted
the following account on alt.test.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
(I often utilize alt.test when composing my longer
posts, as an extra hedge against my computer's
crashing while I'm doing that. By pure luck, I
happened to spot the post below... posted by
the guy whose name and address appears above.
FUNNIER than hell !! So I couldn't resist sharing
it with you. Enjoy! -- Craig)
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER...
December 2 - 12:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow
of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat
for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift
down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal
white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a
fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the
Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever
had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy
again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This
afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the
sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel
again. What a perfect life.
December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry,
we'll definitely have white Christmas. No snow on
Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow again. don't think that's possible. Bob is such a
nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I
warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon
and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have
to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and
bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's
car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife
wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *****
on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like
hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was
very cruel.
December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too
icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I
had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to
do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't
admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't
believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another
14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took
all day. ***** snowplow came by twice. Tried to
find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too
busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the
only hardware store around to see about buying a snow
blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in
March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel
the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas
because 13 more inches of the white ***** fell today,
and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took
me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel
and then I had to *****. By the time I got undressed,
pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the
rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think
the ***** is lying.
December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed
up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of
the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't
she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did
but I think she's lying.
December 24 - 6." Snow packed so hard by snowplow,
I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the ***** who drives that snow
plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and
beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a
100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've
just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25 - Merry fucking Christmas! 20 more inches
of the damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of
shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time,
I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did ever
move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting
on my nerves.
December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the
pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for
him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed.
THE ***** is driving me crazy!!!
December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to
shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest
thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow
plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not
only the beating gave him but also for trying to shove
the broken snow shovel up his *****. The wife went
home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No
more shoveling.
January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white
pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
.
|
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| User: "Cleopatra" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
16 Dec 2003 12:15:36 AM |
|
|
(Craig Chilton) wrote in message news:<3fd8f151.1064386@netnews.mchsi.com>...
On Wed, 10 Dec 2003 04:47:55 -0500 (EST),
An Metet <anmetet@liberty.gmsociety.org> posted
the following account on alt.test.
It's clear, Killer, that " Christmas Tales" of this genre *thrill* and
titilate you because you're the total degenerate, souless, mindless,
barbarian that we all know that you are. So, what else is new, Killer?
Should we recommend some material with, Ka Ka, Poo Poo, Pee Pee,
Fuckee Fuckee, Tittee Tittee, Clittee clittee? All you mindless
liberals belong in a playpen.
*Cleopatra*
.
|
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| User: "james g. keegan jr." |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
16 Dec 2003 05:09:45 PM |
|
|
(Cleopatra) wrote in
news:d81ac9f.0312152215.80cbb07@posting.google.com:
It's clear, Killer, that " Christmas Tales" of this genre
*thrill* and titilate you because you're the total degenerate,
souless, mindless, barbarian that we all know that you are.
what do you think of someone who blatantly lies about another,
cleo?
remember marie?
oh wair, you *are* marie.
never mind.
.
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| User: "Craig C. Chilton" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
16 Dec 2003 05:27:41 AM |
|
|
On 15 Dec 2003 22:15:36 -0800,
"Cleopatra" <Get-Screwed-GWB!!!@yahoo.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
An Metet <anmetet@liberty.gmsociety.org> posted
the following account on alt.test.
RE-PRESENTED. Some much-needed humor in groups
infested with hateful Anti-Choice/homophobic/RRR cult
bigots like "Cleopatra," here. ---
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER...
December 2 - 12:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow
of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat
for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift
down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal
white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a
fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the
Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever
had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy
again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This
afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the
sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel
again. What a perfect life.
December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry,
we'll definitely have white Christmas. No snow on
Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow again. don't think that's possible. Bob is such a
nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I
warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon
and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have
to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and
bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's
car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife
wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *****
on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like
hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was
very cruel.
December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too
icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I
had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to
do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't
admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't
believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another
14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took
all day. ***** snowplow came by twice. Tried to
find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too
busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the
only hardware store around to see about buying a snow
blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in
March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel
the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas
because 13 more inches of the white ***** fell today,
and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took
me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel
and then I had to *****. By the time I got undressed,
pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the
rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think
the ***** is lying.
December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed
up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of
the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't
she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did
but I think she's lying.
December 24 - 6." Snow packed so hard by snowplow,
I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the ***** who drives that snow
plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and
beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a
100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've
just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25 - Merry fucking Christmas! 20 more inches
of the damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of
shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time,
I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did ever
move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting
on my nerves.
December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the
pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for
him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed.
THE ***** is driving me crazy!!!
December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to
shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest
thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow
plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not
only the beating gave him but also for trying to shove
the broken snow shovel up his *****. The wife went
home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No
more shoveling.
January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white
pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
It's clear that " Christmas Tales" of this genre *thrill* and
titilate you because you're the total degenerate, souless, mindless,
barbarian that we all know that you are. So, what else is new?
ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**THIS** idiotic loon is even FUNNIER than the above story!
Who could believe that **anyone** could be as BIG a total
moron as "Marie"/"Cleopatra"/Schmuck is?
<remaining idoiocy of that nut case snipped>
-- Craig Chilton
.
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| User: "Evangeline" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
12 Dec 2003 05:38:11 PM |
|
|
(Craig Chilton) wrote in message news:<3fd8f151.1064386@netnews.mchsi.com>...
Under the circumstances, it's easily understood why a coarse, brutish
person such as yourself would find such trash enjoyable. That you
paste it up in this NG for the reading *pleasure* of your fellow
abortionists indicates that you know this crowd a whole lot better
than I do. Evangeline
.
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| User: "Craig Chilton" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
12 Dec 2003 07:53:45 PM |
|
|
On 12 Dec 2003 15:38:11 -0800,
"Evangeline" <Bani_par_les_Hommes_de_Fille@yahoo.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
On Wed, 10 Dec 2003 04:47:55 -0500 (EST),
An Metet <anmetet@liberty.gmsociety.org> posted
the following account on alt.test.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
(I often utilize alt.test when composing my longer
posts, as an extra hedge against my computer's
crashing while I'm doing that. By pure luck, I
happened to spot the post below... posted by
the guy whose name and address appears above.
FUNNIER than hell !! So I couldn't resist sharing
it with you. Enjoy! -- Craig)
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER...
December 2 - 12:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow
of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat
for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift
down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal
white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a
fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the
Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever
had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy
again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This
afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the
sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel
again. What a perfect life.
December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry,
we'll definitely have white Christmas. No snow on
Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow again. don't think that's possible. Bob is such a
nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I
warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon
and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have
to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and
bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's
car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife
wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *****
on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like
hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was
very cruel.
December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too
icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I
had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to
do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't
admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't
believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another
14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took
all day. ***** snowplow came by twice. Tried to
find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too
busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the
only hardware store around to see about buying a snow
blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in
March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel
the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas
because 13 more inches of the white ***** fell today,
and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took
me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel
and then I had to *****. By the time I got undressed,
pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the
rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think
the ***** is lying.
December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed
up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of
the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't
she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did
but I think she's lying.
December 24 - 6." Snow packed so hard by snowplow,
I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the ***** who drives that snow
plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and
beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a
100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've
just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25 - Merry fucking Christmas! 20 more inches
of the damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of
shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time,
I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did ever
move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting
on my nerves.
December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the
pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for
him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed.
THE ***** is driving me crazy!!!
December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to
shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest
thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow
plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not
only the beating gave him but also for trying to shove
the broken snow shovel up his *****. The wife went
home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No
more shoveling.
January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white
pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Under the circumstances, it's easily understood why a
coarse, brutish person such as yourself...
ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...would find such trash enjoyable. That you paste it up
in this NG for the reading *pleasure* of your fellow
abortionists...
PRO-Choicers! Not to worry!! Any person who is too dense
to be able to distinguish between abortion providers and
Pro-Choicers is NO threat to personal liberties. And the beauty of
that is that the ignorance she just displayed seems to be pretty
typical of MOST Anti-Choicers. (Logical. Because to be an
Anti-Choicer means living in denial of ALL the relevant FACTS.
Therefore, ignorance is a prerequisite for BEING an Anti-Choicer.
...indicates that you know this crowd a whole lot better
than I do. Evangeline
No surprise, since **you** obviously don't know DIDDLY.
THANKS for this excellent demonstration of just **how**
incredibly hateful, humorless, and downright STUPID you
mindless Anti-Choice bigots truly are.
The above story is funnier than hell !!
YOU, on the other hand, are a pathetic loser who supports a
loathesome agenda that seeks to impose IMMENSE hardship
upon no fewer than tens of MILLIONS of women by FORCING
childbirth upon them. AGAINST their will. Resulting in the
DENIAL of their rights... their RELEGATION to second-class-
citizen status... their INVOLUNTARY SERVITUDE to mere,
NON-sentient developing entities which are, in all important
ways, equivalent to sperm and ova (human, unique, NON-
sentient, a stage of development without which NO births
would occur -- and alive); entities which the WOMEN would
very properly, under the circumstances, regard to be parasitic.
Further manifestations of that hardship would be the DISRUP-
TION of their well-being, both short-term and long-term (as in,
for decades or a lifetime)... and the DESTRUCTION of
countless of their opportunities.
Which makes you a loser totally without excuse.
America hasn't seen a collection of YOUR ilk since segrega-
tion became extinct. Those losers, TOO, were complete ignora-
muses and bigots who pushed a fetid agenda that targeted
millions of people. Today, they are remembered as pathetic
laughingstocks, and their agenda is extinct forever. The SAME
fate that lies in store for the Anti-Choicers.
-- Craig Chilton
.
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| User: "Evangeline" |
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| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
13 Dec 2003 01:45:56 AM |
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(Craig Chilton) wrote in message news:<3fe36fcf.21839875@netnews.mchsi.com>...
Craig, which F Key did you use for that last reply? I'm guessing it
was The F3 boilerplate, but it sounded a lot like the F4, F5, F6 and
F9 templates. Next time mix it up a bit and throw us a curve with F7
and F8 zingers. Evangeline
.
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| User: "Craig Chilton" |
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| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
13 Dec 2003 05:12:41 PM |
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On 12 Dec 2003 23:45:56 -0800,
Evangeline <Bani_par_les_Hommes_de_Fille@yahoo.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
[ ... ]
Craig, which F Key did you use for that last reply? I'm guessing it
was The F3 boilerplate, but it sounded a lot like the F4, F5, F6 and
F9 templates. Next time mix it up a bit and throw us a curve with F7
and F8 zingers. Evangeline
Hmmm. Looks like you've traded in those last two remaining
neurons of yours for an ounce of raw hamburger meat.
(And, BTW, any boilerplate text that I employ almost always
repeat the FACTS that **indict** the loathesome agendas
of Anti-Choicers/homophobes/RRR cultists, and it exemplifies,
and reminds everyone, that the latter have NO comeback for
those facts. Just as YOU didn't, just now.)
(READERS: Feel free to look back one post and see what
she DUCKED.)
-- Craig Chilton
.
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| User: "Purple" |
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| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
15 Dec 2003 08:11:06 PM |
|
|
(Craig Chilton) wrote in message news:<3ffd9a7a.31549908@netnews.mchsi.com>...
On 12 Dec 2003 23:45:56 -0800,
Evangeline <Bani_par_les_Hommes_de_Fille@yahoo.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
[ ... ]
Craig, which F Key did you use for that last reply? I'm guessing it
was The F3 boilerplate, but it sounded a lot like the F4, F5, F6 and
F9 templates. Next time mix it up a bit and throw us a curve with F7
and F8 zingers. Evangeline
Hmmm. Looks like you've traded in those last two remaining
neurons of yours for an ounce of raw hamburger meat.
(And, BTW, any boilerplate text that I employ almost always
repeat the FACTS that **indict** the loathesome agendas
of Anti-Choicers/homophobes/RRR cultists, and it exemplifies,
and reminds everyone, that the latter have NO comeback for
those facts. Just as YOU didn't, just now.)
(READERS: Feel free to look back one post and see what
she DUCKED.)
Impossible. She understandably has no desire to archive her lunacy!
.
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| User: "Craig C. Chilton" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
15 Dec 2003 10:15:04 PM |
|
|
On 15 Dec 2003 18:11:06 -0800,
"Purple" <purple2510@hotmail.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
Evangeline <Bani_par_les_Hommes_de_Fille@yahoo.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
[ ... ]
Craig, which F Key did you use for that last reply? I'm guessing it
was The F3 boilerplate, but it sounded a lot like the F4, F5, F6 and
F9 templates. Next time mix it up a bit and throw us a curve with F7
and F8 zingers. Evangeline
Hmmm. Looks like you've traded in those last two remaining
neurons of yours for an ounce of raw hamburger meat.
(And, BTW, any boilerplate text that I employ almost always
repeat the FACTS that **indict** the loathesome agendas
of Anti-Choicers/homophobes/RRR cultists, and it exemplifies,
and reminds everyone, that the latter have NO comeback for
those facts. Just as YOU didn't, just now.)
(READERS: Feel free to look back one post and see what
she DUCKED.)
Impossible. She understandably has no desire to archive
her lunacy!
LOL!!!
Actually, though, I saw nothing in her post's header that would
have kept Google from archiving it. And I never do that. And...
when I responded to her, I included her entire previous response.
Anyone who looks back to my last sizeable post in this thread
(204 lines on 12/12/03) *will* get to see all of the information that
she DUCKED in her response.
-- Craig Chilton
.
|
|
|
| User: "Purple" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
16 Dec 2003 08:32:05 PM |
|
|
(Craig C. Chilton) wrote in message news:<3fe284ad.3093844@netnews.mchsi.com>...
On 15 Dec 2003 18:11:06 -0800,
"Purple" <purple2510@hotmail.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
Evangeline <Bani_par_les_Hommes_de_Fille@yahoo.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
[ ... ]
Craig, which F Key did you use for that last reply? I'm guessing it
was The F3 boilerplate, but it sounded a lot like the F4, F5, F6 and
F9 templates. Next time mix it up a bit and throw us a curve with F7
and F8 zingers. Evangeline
Hmmm. Looks like you've traded in those last two remaining
neurons of yours for an ounce of raw hamburger meat.
(And, BTW, any boilerplate text that I employ almost always
repeat the FACTS that **indict** the loathesome agendas
of Anti-Choicers/homophobes/RRR cultists, and it exemplifies,
and reminds everyone, that the latter have NO comeback for
those facts. Just as YOU didn't, just now.)
(READERS: Feel free to look back one post and see what
she DUCKED.)
Impossible. She understandably has no desire to archive
her lunacy!
LOL!!!
Actually, though, I saw nothing in her post's header that would
have kept Google from archiving it. And I never do that.
Maybe I am guilty of jumping to hasty conclusions but I post via
google and few posts by MarieA or evangeline last. It is as if
I have involuntarily killfiled her.
And...
when I responded to her, I included her entire previous response.
Anyone who looks back to my last sizeable post in this thread
(204 lines on 12/12/03) *will* get to see all of the information that
she DUCKED in her response.
-- Craig Chilton
.
|
|
|
| User: "Craig Chilton" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
16 Dec 2003 09:04:57 PM |
|
|
On 16 Dec 2003 18:32:05 -0800,
"Purple" <purple2510@hotmail.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
"Purple" <purple2510@hotmail.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
Evangeline <Bani_par_les_Hommes_de_Fille@yahoo.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
[ ... ]
Craig, which F Key did you use for that last reply? I'm guessing it
was The F3 boilerplate, but it sounded a lot like the F4, F5, F6 and
F9 templates. Next time mix it up a bit and throw us a curve with F7
and F8 zingers. Evangeline
Hmmm. Looks like you've traded in those last two remaining
neurons of yours for an ounce of raw hamburger meat.
(And, BTW, any boilerplate text that I employ almost always
repeat the FACTS that **indict** the loathesome agendas
of Anti-Choicers/homophobes/RRR cultists, and it exemplifies,
and reminds everyone, that the latter have NO comeback for
those facts. Just as YOU didn't, just now.)
(READERS: Feel free to look back one post and see what
she DUCKED.)
Impossible. She understandably has no desire to archive
her lunacy!
LOL!!!
Actually, though, I saw nothing in her post's header that would
have kept Google from archiving it. And I never do that.
Maybe I am guilty of jumping to hasty conclusions but I post via
Google and few posts by MarieA or evangeline last. It is as if
I have involuntarily killfiled her.
It IS possible (unfortunately) for a person to remove his/her own
post(s) from Google's archives after they've arrived there. That's the
bad news. The GOOD news is that they can't delete it from MINE.
I have an almost 100% complete archive of the alt abortion posts
that have been made for the last several years. If anyone comes
to me saying, "Hey, I can't find "X's" post in Google that was made
on or about "Y" (date) to alt.abortion. Can you locate it and RE-post
it?" And I *WILL*, if I have it... about a 95% chance. And then it will
be under MY posting, and the original poster will NOT be able to
touch it in Google. It will remain available there for as long as Google
(or its successor, as we saw with Deja News) is available.
And I have LOTS of those posts that "disappeared," if that's the
case. Just let me know their time frames, and I'll make sure that they
RE-appear. Permanently!
And... when I responded to her, I included her entire previous
response.
Anyone who looks back to my last sizeable post in this thread
(204 lines on 12/12/03) *will* get to see all of the information that
she DUCKED in her response.
-- Craig Chilton
.
|
|
|
| User: "Purple" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
17 Dec 2003 08:27:32 PM |
|
|
(Craig Chilton) wrote in message news:<3febc0af.37287388@netnews.mchsi.com>...
On 16 Dec 2003 18:32:05 -0800,
"Purple" <purple2510@hotmail.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
"Purple" <purple2510@hotmail.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
Evangeline <Bani_par_les_Hommes_de_Fille@yahoo.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
[ ... ]
Craig, which F Key did you use for that last reply? I'm guessing it
was The F3 boilerplate, but it sounded a lot like the F4, F5, F6 and
F9 templates. Next time mix it up a bit and throw us a curve with F7
and F8 zingers. Evangeline
Hmmm. Looks like you've traded in those last two remaining
neurons of yours for an ounce of raw hamburger meat.
(And, BTW, any boilerplate text that I employ almost always
repeat the FACTS that **indict** the loathesome agendas
of Anti-Choicers/homophobes/RRR cultists, and it exemplifies,
and reminds everyone, that the latter have NO comeback for
those facts. Just as YOU didn't, just now.)
(READERS: Feel free to look back one post and see what
she DUCKED.)
Impossible. She understandably has no desire to archive
her lunacy!
LOL!!!
Actually, though, I saw nothing in her post's header that would
have kept Google from archiving it. And I never do that.
Maybe I am guilty of jumping to hasty conclusions but I post via
Google and few posts by MarieA or evangeline last. It is as if
I have involuntarily killfiled her.
It IS possible (unfortunately) for a person to remove his/her own
post(s) from Google's archives after they've arrived there. That's the
bad news. The GOOD news is that they can't delete it from MINE.
I have an almost 100% complete archive of the alt abortion posts
that have been made for the last several years. If anyone comes
to me saying, "Hey, I can't find "X's" post in Google that was made
on or about "Y" (date) to alt.abortion. Can you locate it and RE-post
it?" And I *WILL*, if I have it... about a 95% chance. And then it will
be under MY posting, and the original poster will NOT be able to
touch it in Google. It will remain available there for as long as Google
(or its successor, as we saw with Deja News) is available.
And I have LOTS of those posts that "disappeared," if that's the
case. Just let me know their time frames, and I'll make sure that they
RE-appear. Permanently!
Thanks! I'll bear that in mind for the future.
And... when I responded to her, I included her entire previous
response.
Anyone who looks back to my last sizeable post in this thread
(204 lines on 12/12/03) *will* get to see all of the information that
she DUCKED in her response.
-- Craig Chilton
.
|
|
|
| User: "Craig Chilton" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
17 Dec 2003 10:37:10 PM |
|
|
On 17 Dec 2003 18:27:32 -0800,
"Purple" <purple2510@hotmail.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
"Purple" <purple2510@hotmail.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
"Purple" <purple2510@hotmail.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
Evangeline <Bani_par_les_Hommes_de_Fille@yahoo.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
[ ... ]
Craig, which F Key did you use for that last reply? I'm guessing it
was The F3 boilerplate, but it sounded a lot like the F4, F5, F6 and
F9 templates. Next time mix it up a bit and throw us a curve with F7
and F8 zingers. Evangeline
Hmmm. Looks like you've traded in those last two remaining
neurons of yours for an ounce of raw hamburger meat.
(And, BTW, any boilerplate text that I employ almost always
repeat the FACTS that **indict** the loathesome agendas
of Anti-Choicers/homophobes/RRR cultists, and it exemplifies,
and reminds everyone, that the latter have NO comeback for
those facts. Just as YOU didn't, just now.)
(READERS: Feel free to look back one post and see what
she DUCKED.)
Impossible. She understandably has no desire to archive
her lunacy!
LOL!!!
Actually, though, I saw nothing in her post's header that would
have kept Google from archiving it. And I never do that.
Maybe I am guilty of jumping to hasty conclusions but I post via
Google and few posts by MarieA or evangeline last. It is as if
I have involuntarily killfiled her.
It IS possible (unfortunately) for a person to remove his/her own
post(s) from Google's archives after they've arrived there. That's the
bad news. The GOOD news is that they can't delete it from MINE.
I have an almost 100% complete archive of the alt.abortion posts
that have been made for the last several years. If anyone comes
to me saying, "Hey, I can't find "X's" post in Google that was made
on or about "Y" (date) to alt.abortion. Can you locate it and RE-post
it?" And I *WILL*, if I have it... about a 95% chance. And then it will
be under MY posting, and the original poster will NOT be able to
touch it in Google. It will remain available there for as long as Google
(or its successor, as we saw with Deja News) is available.
And I have LOTS of those posts that "disappeared," if that's the
case. Just let me know their time frames, and I'll make sure that they
RE-appear. Permanently!
Thanks! I'll bear that in mind for the future.
Glad to be of help!!
And... when I responded to her, I included her entire previous
response.
Anyone who looks back to my last sizeable post in this thread
(204 lines on 12/12/03) *will* get to see all of the information that
she DUCKED in her response.
-- Craig Chilton
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Krisblake" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
17 Dec 2003 04:04:29 AM |
|
|
On 16 Dec 2003 18:32:05 -0800, (Purple) wrote:
(Craig C. Chilton) wrote in message news:<3fe284ad.3093844@netnews.mchsi.com>...
On 15 Dec 2003 18:11:06 -0800,
"Purple" < > wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
Evangeline <Bani_par_les_Hommes_de_Fille@yahoo.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
[ ... ]
Craig, which F Key did you use for that last reply? I'm guessing it
was The F3 boilerplate, but it sounded a lot like the F4, F5, F6 and
F9 templates. Next time mix it up a bit and throw us a curve with F7
and F8 zingers. Evangeline
Hmmm. Looks like you've traded in those last two remaining
neurons of yours for an ounce of raw hamburger meat.
(And, BTW, any boilerplate text that I employ almost always
repeat the FACTS that **indict** the loathesome agendas
of Anti-Choicers/homophobes/RRR cultists, and it exemplifies,
and reminds everyone, that the latter have NO comeback for
those facts. Just as YOU didn't, just now.)
(READERS: Feel free to look back one post and see what
she DUCKED.)
Impossible. She understandably has no desire to archive
her lunacy!
LOL!!!
Actually, though, I saw nothing in her post's header that would
have kept Google from archiving it. And I never do that.
Maybe I am guilty of jumping to hasty conclusions but I post via
google and few posts by MarieA or evangeline last. It is as if
I have involuntarily killfiled her.
Can you do that via Google, now?
And...
when I responded to her, I included her entire previous response.
Anyone who looks back to my last sizeable post in this thread
(204 lines on 12/12/03) *will* get to see all of the information that
she DUCKED in her response.
-- Craig Chilton
.
|
|
|
| User: "Purple" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
17 Dec 2003 07:48:53 PM |
|
|
Krisblake <Krisblakemy2luvs@aol.com> wrote in message news:<oga0uv076qmtp8jqdcepglqindutpk1glc@4ax.com>...
On 16 Dec 2003 18:32:05 -0800, (Purple) wrote:
(Craig C. Chilton) wrote in message news:<3fe284ad.3093844@netnews.mchsi.com>...
On 15 Dec 2003 18:11:06 -0800,
"Purple" < > wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
Evangeline <Bani_par_les_Hommes_de_Fille@yahoo.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
[ ... ]
Craig, which F Key did you use for that last reply? I'm guessing it
was The F3 boilerplate, but it sounded a lot like the F4, F5, F6 and
F9 templates. Next time mix it up a bit and throw us a curve with F7
and F8 zingers. Evangeline
Hmmm. Looks like you've traded in those last two remaining
neurons of yours for an ounce of raw hamburger meat.
(And, BTW, any boilerplate text that I employ almost always
repeat the FACTS that **indict** the loathesome agendas
of Anti-Choicers/homophobes/RRR cultists, and it exemplifies,
and reminds everyone, that the latter have NO comeback for
those facts. Just as YOU didn't, just now.)
(READERS: Feel free to look back one post and see what
she DUCKED.)
Impossible. She understandably has no desire to archive
her lunacy!
LOL!!!
Actually, though, I saw nothing in her post's header that would
have kept Google from archiving it. And I never do that.
Maybe I am guilty of jumping to hasty conclusions but I post via
google and few posts by MarieA or evangeline last. It is as if
I have involuntarily killfiled her.
Can you do that via Google, now?
As far as I know you don't get a choice in who you killfile if you
read the newsgroup this way.
And...
when I responded to her, I included her entire previous response.
Anyone who looks back to my last sizeable post in this thread
(204 lines on 12/12/03) *will* get to see all of the information that
she DUCKED in her response.
-- Craig Chilton
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Krisblake" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
13 Dec 2003 04:48:28 PM |
|
|
On 12 Dec 2003 15:38:11 -0800,
(Evangeline) wrote:
xanadu222@mchsi.com (Craig Chilton) wrote in message news:<3fd8f151.1064386@netnews.mchsi.com>...
Under the circumstances, it's easily understood why a coarse, brutish
person such as yourself...
"Enlighten" up, "Evangeline."
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Krisblake" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
13 Dec 2003 04:47:53 PM |
|
|
On Wed, 10 Dec 2003 10:29:55 GMT, (Craig Chilton)
wrote:
On Wed, 10 Dec 2003 04:47:55 -0500 (EST),
An Metet <anmetet@liberty.gmsociety.org> posted
the following account on alt.test.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
(I often utilize alt.test when composing my longer
posts, as an extra hedge against my computer's
crashing while I'm doing that. By pure luck, I
happened to spot the post below... posted by
the guy whose name and address appears above.
FUNNIER than hell !! So I couldn't resist sharing
it with you. Enjoy! -- Craig)
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER...
December 2 - 12:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow
of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat
for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift
down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal
white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a
fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the
Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever
had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy
again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This
afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the
sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel
again. What a perfect life.
December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry,
we'll definitely have white Christmas. No snow on
Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow again. don't think that's possible. Bob is such a
nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I
warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon
and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have
to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and
bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's
car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife
wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *****
on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like
hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was
very cruel.
December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too
icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I
had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to
do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't
admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't
believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another
14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took
all day. ***** snowplow came by twice. Tried to
find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too
busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the
only hardware store around to see about buying a snow
blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in
March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel
the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas
because 13 more inches of the white ***** fell today,
and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took
me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel
and then I had to *****. By the time I got undressed,
pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the
rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think
the ***** is lying.
December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed
up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of
the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't
she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did
but I think she's lying.
December 24 - 6." Snow packed so hard by snowplow,
I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the ***** who drives that snow
plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and
beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a
100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've
just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25 - Merry fucking Christmas! 20 more inches
of the damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of
shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time,
I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did ever
move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting
on my nerves.
December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the
pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for
him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed.
THE ***** is driving me crazy!!!
December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to
shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest
thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow
plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not
only the beating gave him but also for trying to shove
the broken snow shovel up his *****. The wife went
home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No
more shoveling.
January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white
pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Very funny!
.
|
|
|
| User: "Craig Chilton" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: Diary of a Snow Shoveler... |
13 Dec 2003 06:15:40 PM |
|
|
On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 17:47:53 -0500,
Krisblake <Krisblakemy2luvs@aol.com> wrote:
Craig Chilton < > wrote:
An Metet <anmetet@liberty.gmsociety.org> posted
the following account on alt.test.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
(I often utilize alt.test when composing my longer
posts, as an extra hedge against my computer's
crashing while I'm doing that. By pure luck, I
happened to spot the post below... posted by
the guy whose name and address appears above.
FUNNIER than hell !! So I couldn't resist sharing
it with you. Enjoy! -- Craig)
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER...
December 2 - 12:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow
of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat
for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift
down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal
white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a
fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the
Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever
had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy
again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This
afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the
sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel
again. What a perfect life.
December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry,
we'll definitely have white Christmas. No snow on
Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow again. don't think that's possible. Bob is such a
nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I
warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon
and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have
to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and
bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's
car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife
wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *****
on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like
hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was
very cruel.
December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too
icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I
had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to
do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't
admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't
believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another
14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took
all day. ***** snowplow came by twice. Tried to
find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too
busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the
only hardware store around to see about buying a snow
blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in
March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel
the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas
because 13 more inches of the white ***** fell today,
and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took
me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel
and then I had to *****. By the time I got undressed,
pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the
rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think
the ***** is lying.
December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed
up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of
the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't
she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did
but I think she's lying.
December 24 - 6." Snow packed so hard by snowplow,
I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the ***** who drives that snow
plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and
beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a
100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've
just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25 - Merry fucking Christmas! 20 more inches
of the damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of
shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time,
I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did ever
move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting
on my nerves.
December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the
pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for
him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed.
THE ***** is driving me crazy!!!
December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to
shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest
thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow
plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not
only the beating gave him but also for trying to shove
the broken snow shovel up his *****. The wife went
home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No
more shoveling.
January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white
pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Very funny!
Yeah! When I first saw this thing, I laughed
until my sides hurt! Pure luck that I discovered it!
I don't have to recover my in-progress posts from
alt.test very often, and post only stay on it for a few
hours!
-- Craig Chilton
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