| Topic: |
Religions > Bible |
| User: |
"Javriol" |
| Date: |
28 Sep 2005 04:45:02 AM |
| Object: |
ToBs: Genesis Chapter 1 |
_The first chapter of the Bible gives partial details of some vital
steps that God took to prepare the earth for human enjoyment. The
chapter does not give every detail; as we read it, we should not be put
off if it omits particulars that ancient readers could not have
comprehended anyway. For example, in writing that chapter, Moses did
not report the function of microscopic algae or bacteria. Such forms of
life first came into human view after the invention of the microscope,
in the 16th century. Nor did Moses specifically report on dinosaurs,
whose existence was deduced from fossils in the 19th century. Instead,
Moses was inspired to use words that could be understood by people of
his day-but words that were accurate in all they said about earth's
creation.
As you read Genesis chapter 1, from verse 3 onward, you will see that
it is divided into six creative "days." Some claim that these were
literal 24-hour days, meaning that the entire universe and life on
earth were created in less than a week! However, you can easily
discover that the Bible does not teach that. The book of Genesis was
written in Hebrew. In that language, "day" refers to a period of
time. It can be either a lengthy one or a literal day of 24 hours. Even
in Genesis all six "days" are spoken of collectively as one lengthy
period-'the day in which Jehovah made earth and heaven.' (Genesis
2:4; compare 2 Peter 3:8.) The fact is, the Bible reveals that the
creative "days," or ages, encompass thousands of years.
A person can see this from what the Bible says about the seventh
"day." The record of each of the first six "days" ends saying,
'and there came to be evening and morning, a first day,' and so on.
Yet, you will not find that comment after the record of the seventh
"day." And in the first century C.E., some 4,000 years downstream
in history, the Bible referred to the seventh rest "day" as still
continuing. (Hebrews 4:4-6) So the seventh "day" was a period
spanning thousands of years, and we can logically conclude the same
about the first six "days."
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| User: "Elder-Mann" |
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| Title: Re: Genesis Chapter 1 |
28 Sep 2005 09:46:10 AM |
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"Javriol" <javriol@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1127900702.346267.54520@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
_The first chapter of the Bible gives partial details of some vital
steps that God took to prepare the earth for human enjoyment.
============= snip!
Plagiarized straight from the Watchtower Society's magazines written for 5th
graders.
--
Mann...
They need to do more than put that hot scalding cup of coffee down. Someone
needs to splash it in their face. - in Message-ID:
<411e32f9_2@Usenet.com> a fine JW from ARJ-W.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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| User: "Rocky Rococo" |
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| Title: Re: ToBs: Genesis Chapter 1 |
30 Sep 2005 09:34:17 PM |
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_The first chapter of the Bible gives partial details of some vital
steps that God took to prepare the earth for human enjoyment. The
chapter does not give every detail; as we read it, we should not be put
off if it omits particulars that ancient readers could not have
comprehended anyway. For example, in writing that chapter, Moses did
not report the function of microscopic algae or bacteria. Such forms of
life first came into human view after the invention of the microscope,
in the 16th century. Nor did Moses specifically report on dinosaurs,
whose existence was deduced from fossils in the 19th century. Instead,
Moses was inspired to use words that could be understood by people of
his day-but words that were accurate in all they said about earth's
creation.
As you read Genesis chapter 1, from verse 3 onward, you will see that
it is divided into six creative "days." Some claim that these were
literal 24-hour days, meaning that the entire universe and life on
earth were created in less than a week! However, you can easily
discover that the Bible does not teach that. The book of Genesis was
written in Hebrew. In that language, "day" refers to a period of
time. It can be either a lengthy one or a literal day of 24 hours. Even
in Genesis all six "days" are spoken of collectively as one lengthy
period-'the day in which Jehovah made earth and heaven.' (Genesis
2:4; compare 2 Peter 3:8.) The fact is, the Bible reveals that the
creative "days," or ages, encompass thousands of years.
A person can see this from what the Bible says about the seventh
"day." The record of each of the first six "days" ends saying,
'and there came to be evening and morning, a first day,' and so on.
Yet, you will not find that comment after the record of the seventh
"day." And in the first century C.E., some 4,000 years downstream
in history, the Bible referred to the seventh rest "day" as still
continuing. (Hebrews 4:4-6) So the seventh "day" was a period
spanning thousands of years, and we can logically conclude the same
about the first six "days."
Let's look in on the seven days of Intelligent Design...
Day No. 1:
And the Lord God said, “Let there be light,” and lo, there was light.
But then the Lord God said, “Wait, what if I make it a sort of rosy,
sunset-at-the-beach, filtered half-light, so that everything else I
design will look younger?”
“I’m loving that,” said Buddha. “It’s new.”
“You should design a restaurant,” added Allah.
Day No. 2:
“Today,” the Lord God said, “let’s do land.” And lo, there was land.
“Well, it’s really not just land,” noted Vishnu. “You’ve got mountains
and valleys and—is that lava?”
“It’s not a single statement,” said the Lord God. “I want it to say,
‘Yes, this is land, but it’s not afraid to ooze.’ ”
“It’s really a backdrop, a sort of blank canvas,” put in Apollo.
“It’s, like, minimalism, only with scale.”
“But—brown?” Buddha asked.
“Brown with infinite variations,” said the Lord God. “Taupe, ochre,
burnt umber—they’re called earth tones.”
“I wasn’t criticizing,” said Buddha. “I was just noticing.”
Day No. 3:
“Just to make everyone happy,” said the Lord God, “today I’m thinking
oceans, for contrast.”
“It’s wet, it’s deep, yet it’s frothy; it’s design without dogma,”
said Buddha, approvingly.
“Now, there’s movement,” agreed Allah. “It’s not just ‘Hi, I’m a
planet—no splashing.’ ”
“But are those ice caps?” inquired Thor. “Is this a coherent vision,
or a highball?”
“I can do ice caps if I want to,” sniffed the Lord God.
“It’s about a mood,” said the Angel Moroni, supportively.
“Thank you,” said the Lord God.
Day No. 4:
“One word,” said the Lord God. “Landscaping. But I want it to look
natural, as if it all somehow just happened.”
“Do rain forests,” suggested a primitive tribal god, who was known
only as a clicking noise.
“Rain forests here,” decreed the Lord God. “And deserts there. For a
spa feeling.”
“Which is fresh, but let’s give it glow,” said Buddha. “Polished
stones and bamboo, with a soothing trickle of something.”
“I know where you’re going,” said the Lord God. “But why am I seeing
scented candles and a signature body wash?”
“Shut up,” said Buddha.
“You shut up,” said the Lord God.
“It’s all about the mix,” Allah declared in a calming voice. “Now
let’s look at some swatches.”
Day No. 5:
“I’d like to design some creatures of the sea,” the Lord God said.
“Sleek but not slick.”
“Yes, yes, and more yes—it’s a total gills moment,” said Apollo. “But
what if you added wings?”
“Fussy,” whispered Buddha to Zeus. “Why not epaulets and a sash?”
“Legs,” said Allah. “Now let’s do legs.”
“Are we already doing dining-room tables?” asked the Lord God,
confused.
“No, design some creatures with legs,” said Allah. So the Lord God,
nodding, designed an ostrich.
“First draft,” everyone agreed, and so the Lord God designed an
alligator.
“There’s gonna be a waiting list,” Zeus murmured appreciatively.
“Now do puppies!” pleaded Vishnu. “And kitties!”
“Ooooo!” all the gods cooed. Then, feeling a bit embarrassed, Zeus
ventured, “Design something more practical, like a horse or a mule.”
“What about a koala?” asked the Lord God.
“Much better,” Zeus declared, cuddling the furry little animal. “I’m
going to call him Buttons.”
Day No. 6:
“Today I’m really going out there,” said the Lord God. “And I know it
won’t be popular at first, and you’re all gonna be saying, ‘Earth to
Lord God,’ but in a few million years it’s going to be timeless. I’m
going to design a man.”
And everyone looked upon the man that the Lord God designed.
“It has your eyes,” Zeus told the Lord God.
“Does it stack?” inquired Allah.
“It has a naïve, folk-artsy, I-made-it-myself vibe,” said Buddha. The
Inca sun god, however, only scoffed. “Been there. Evolution,” he said.
“It’s called a shaved monkey.”
“I like it,” protested Buddha. “But it can’t work a strapless dress.”
Everyone agreed on this point, so the Lord God announced, “Well, what
if I give it nice round breasts and lose the penis?”
“Yes,” the gods said immediately.
“Now it’s intelligent,” said Aphrodite.
“But what if I made it blond?” giggled the Lord God.
“And what if I made you a booming offscreen voice in a lot of bad
movies?” asked Aphrodite.
Day No. 7:
“You know, I’m really feeling good about this whole intelligent-design
deal,” said the Lord God. “But do you think that I could redo it,
keeping the quality but making it at a price point we could all live
with?”
“I’m not sure,” said Buddha. “You mean, what if you designed a really
basic, no-frills planet? Like, do the man and the woman really need
all those toes?”
“Hello!” said the Lord God. “Clean lines, no moving parts, functional
but fun. Three bright, happy, wash ’n’ go colors.”
“Swedish meets Japanese, with maybe a Platinum Collector’s Edition for
the geeks,” Buddha decided.
“Done,” said the Lord God. “Now let’s start thinking about Pluto. What
if everything on Pluto was brushed aluminum?”
“You mean, let’s do Neptune again?” said Buddha.
The New Yorker
Shouts & Murmers
INTELLIGENT DESIGN
by PAUL RUDNICK
Issue of 2005-09-26
Posted 2005-09-19
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: ToBs: Genesis Chapter 1 |
28 Sep 2005 03:09:01 PM |
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In talk.atheism Javriol <javriol@gmail.com> wrote:
....something with the subject line starting "ToBs." Short for "total
*****?"
--
Mike
W hat atheism: a non-prophet organization...
W ould
J enna
D rink?
-------------------------------
Creation Science: an oxymoron actually created by morons...
-------------------------------
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you
do criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.
-------------------------------
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop
thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do
we," George W. "Shrub" Bush Aug 5, 2004
-------------------------------
The only product that Micro$oft could produce that *wouldn't* suck would be a
vacuum cleaner..
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| User: "Elder-Mann" |
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| Title: Re: ToBs: Genesis Chapter 1 |
28 Sep 2005 06:45:19 PM |
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<prabbit1@shamrocksgf.com> wrote in message
news:xLC_e.8583$yl.2660@bignews1.bellsouth.net...
In talk.atheism Javriol <javriol@gmail.com> wrote:
...something with the subject line starting "ToBs." Short for "total
*****?"
=============
That's why he nymshifts every day now - no one reads his messages so he has
to nymshift to bypass everyone's killfile. Real sad....
--
DeElder......
That is really funny! The proscriptions of the Watchtower, which teaches
the traditions of MERE MEN, i.e., heretics, at that, as being equal with
the
pronouncements of Christ Himself! In most cases, they even SUPERSEDE
Christ
and have to 'reinterpret' him for the rest of society. (Credit to
BlackJack)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: ToBs: Genesis Chapter 1 |
28 Sep 2005 06:49:37 PM |
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Elder-Mann wrote:
<prabbit1@shamrocksgf.com> wrote in message
news:xLC_e.8583$yl.2660@bignews1.bellsouth.net...
In talk.atheism Javriol <javriol@gmail.com> wrote:
...something with the subject line starting "ToBs." Short for "total
*****?"
=============
That's why he nymshifts every day now - no one reads his messages so he has
to nymshift to bypass everyone's killfile. Real sad....
--
You read them. You read every single one. Because he owns you. Must be
sad to have Jabriol in your head 24/7 and you write about him every
single day
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