Two Toes Goes to Town
It's a fact of life: Not everyone who means well does well. We see this
truth demonstrated quite often, by the people around us, by our own
mistakes, by local and regional officials, and even by powerful leaders. So
it should come as no surprise that the local officials in the following
story prove to be less than perfect in understanding, and less than perfect
in their execution of justice. Thank God for the children (and for children
at heart ) who sometimes manage to save the day.
Two Toes the giant, was a most reluctant ogre. He had grown up alone in the
countryside, far from the curious eyes of regular folk. Two Toes knew that
he was unusual. His own mother and father had already been quite big, a good
two feet over the tallest person ever recorded. But Two Toes had passed them
in size while he was still very young. They marveled at his great size and
superior strength, true enough. Every parent is proud of the child they
love. But they soon began to fear that he would draw way too much attention,
as they watched him grow bigger and stronger with every passing season.
So they moved into the wilderness woods, beyond the rugged peaks of
mountains that were high enough and cold enough to keep most people away.
They built a cabin at the bottom of a steep slope, and tried their best to
hide their son from those who would rob him of life and liberty. And they
often warned him to stay far away from human beings.
Two Toes was not his real name, of course. But that was the name given to
him by the occasional hiker and adventurer who might see him moving among
the trees. His real name was Joseph MacDougal, and his loving family usually
called him Joe.
Joe liked to hear stories and his parents often read books to him, since he
was so big that the tiny print in the books was very hard to see. But he
didn't like the fact that almost all the old stories of giants showed them
as both stupid and mean. "To be so big and powerful," said Joe, after
hearing one tale of wicked giants, "and to have such a small heart, is the
greatest evil of all."
Two Toes Joe was not sorry to be a giant. He loved walking along the forest
and looking out over the tops of trees. He loved talking to the owls and
ravens who often perched high up in the branches. And he loved being able to
lift large logs and rocks when his father was working the small fields by
their home. In fact, Joe proved to be quite helpful in building the
oversized rooms needed just for him.
But Joe the giant did miss the opportunity to play with other children when
he was growing up. He did not like having to hide alone in the woods all his
life. So one day, when Joe was almost a teenager, he decided to just go into
town anyway. He had a pretty good idea where he wanted to go, because his
father often talked about the different cities and towns that were within
walking distance. (And walking distance for Two Toes was not as short as it
might be for you and me.)
It's normal, I suppose, for young men to reach an age where they decide to
rebel against their father's rules. It seems to be a part of growing up.
Whatever the cause and the reasons, Two Toes Joe felt that he could not hide
another day in the woods all alone. But at least he had the good sense to be
careful. He did not go the shortest way to the town he chose to visit.
Instead, he planned a route that would take him in a very large circle. That
way, it would not be so easy to track or retrace his path back to the family
home in the woods. After all, even though Two Toes was a true giant, about
six times as tall as even the most successful basketball stars, he was not
stupid or mean. He was just Joe.
Rising from bed early one morning, Joe got dressed in his very best
clothes -- all hand made by his loving mother -- and started off in the
opposite direction of where he actually planned to go. His folks didn't
think much about it, since Joe often walked through the high mountains and
wooded valleys alone. The giant young man traveled over bare rock for most
of his journey, knowing that even with his great size and weight he was not
likely to leave any tracks on solid stone. After a little while, he turned
and then turned again, and soon he could see the town he would visit, off in
the distance.
That visit, as the whole world now knows, is a matter of history.
Fortunately for Joe and his family, almost no one believed the news reports
that resulted from it. Still it was risky business, and Joe learned a mighty
valuable lesson. And he now knows the wisdom of his father's rules about
living in hiding.
Here is one of the news stories that was broadcast the evening after Joe
went to town:
Eyewitness News Report: Two-toed Giant Terrorizes City
Witnesses say that you could see the giant from miles away, over the tops of
tall trees and buildings. Dressed in clothing that resembled that of
peasants in Medieval Britain, the giant walked about (but not well) in
open-toed sandals, which revealed that each foot had only two toes.
Technically, then, he was a four-toed giant. Yet medical experts claim that
his toes were not the only unique characteristic. They say that he is much
taller than any human being ever recorded in history.
Anyway, Two-Toes, as everyone calls him (but no one was calling out to him)
walked about the edges of the city for about 90 minutes, and then he began
to enter town. Police say that was when they became involved, as their
jurisdiction begins and ends at the city boundaries.
While he was trying to be careful to avoid stepping on cars and people, a
few smaller autos were damaged when drivers veered wildly to flee the giant.
And quite a few pedestrians were injured when they ran into each other, or
into light poles, sign posts, and even buildings, trying to avoid the giant.
No one was able to say just where Two-Toes came from or why he was here.
This reporter tried to interview Two-Toes but he would not comment. (It's
possible, of course that he never saw or heard me, since I kept a safe
distance of several miles at all times.)
Anyway, when police chief Monty Summers was asked what the authorities were
doing to keep the city safe from giant attacks, he stated that the
municipality had no standing Giant Protection Program. Mayor Franklin,
however, said later that the city council would be meeting on the issue next
month.
Two-Toes walked for several blocks through city streets, and rested for a
short while in Sterling Park downtown. Children on a previously planned
field trip there reportedly fed him their sack lunches. School teachers
estimated that the giant may have eaten some 120 sack lunches, as there were
5 5th grade classes on the trip to Sterling Park and local museums.
School officials deny that the district had any prior knowledge of the
giant's visit to the city, or that the field trips were planned to coincide
with Two-Toes stop at the park. Police Chief Summers, however, appeared
suspicious, saying, "Seems mighty suspicious to me that they just happened
to be there in time to cater lunch."
Traffic in the central area was stalled due to spectators and what police
call rubber-necking drivers. Children from all along the giants path through
town gathered to follow him, even those who were supposed to be in class.
And this situation is what kept police from being able to simply shoot him
down.
Police Chief Summers was furious. "We could've killed him easy lots of
times, if those brat kids would've stayed clear! As it was, we couldn't take
any shots, cause if you even kill just one kid, the parents and the news
people would've howled something terrible. And then we would be the bad
guys!"
Several other witnesses corroborate the police report. Irma Wimpleton from
East Gipton was visiting the courthouse and saw Two-Toes sitting in the
park.
"Oh, you should've seen it," she said. "Soon as he sat down, those kids were
all over him. They were jumping on his feet and climbing up all over his
legs and in his lap, and some even made it up to his shoulders. I don't see
how he could even breathe. The kids were everywhere, screaming and laughing
and running all over."
Retired Army Captain, Frank Lewis, was at the park when Two-Toes entered the
area. When we asked him what happened to the giant, he said, "Well, I just
about soiled myself. That's what happened! This giant fella took two steps,
and bang! he went from 10th Avenue to the center of the park. Then He moved
a couple of the trees out of the way, pulling them right outta the ground.
And he just sat down. And then the kids came running and screaming from
everywhere. It was like an open battle all in a time of war, except that the
kids were laughing and tackling the giant like he was just another kid or
something."
Vanishing Giant?
What everyone wants to know is what happened to Two-Toes after his visit to
Sterling Park. Dozens of witnesses say they saw him exit the park to the
east, stepping right over the County Courthouse, and lumbering away.
"His head could still be seen over the trees and office buildings of
downtown," said Jack Cardwell, a business owner from down the street. "I
watched him walk away, and I was glad to see him go."
But no one seems to know where he went after that. Because of all the
commotion around the park, it seems that no one was left in the streets east
of the courthouse to see where Two Toes went. If there are any witnesses,
they've yet to come forward. This situation further frustrates police as
they seek to pursue the giant and to protect the citizens of our town.
"It's like he was here one minute and just gone the next," commented Police
Sergeant Hathaway. "We were ordered to follow him in our cars, and by the
time we were able to get around the crowds and traffic of downtown, he was
just gone. No one seems to have seen where he went."
Foot prints were clearly visible along the earlier portion of Two-Toes
journey from the country roads west of town into the city and into the park.
And a few are still visible around and just beyond the County Courthouse.
But beyond that they seem to just fade away.
Children who followed the giant into the park didn't follow him out, but no
one is saying why. They simply crowded up around the courthouse, completely
blocking the sidewalks and street. It took police and concerned citizens
nearly half an hour to work their way through the tightly packed crowd of
children. And by that time, no one was able to track the giant.
And so tonight the mystery remains: What happened to Two-Toes the Giant?
Police and city officials are asking anyone with information to please step
forward. While children seem to be mostly undisturbed by the giant's visit
to the city, adults across the county are traumatized. Several medical
doctors have said that requests for prescription medications are up as a
result of Two Toes' appearance. And insurance adjusters say that rates for
the county will also go up in order to pay for the reported damage done by
the giant.
--End of News Report--
As dangerous as the whole event proved to be, Joe returned safely home that
evening, with many stories to tell of his adventures. His mother and father
were horrified to learn that he had gone into town, but greatly relieved to
see that he made it safely back. Everyone kept an extra watch for the next
few weeks, to see if anyone would be able to track Joe back to the house.
But after a while, they all began to relax. It soon became evident that no
one was coming after Joe. Always after that Two Toes Joe did his very best
to obey his father. And he never did grow tired of telling the story of the
day he went to the city.
©2005 by Jim Sutton
all rights reserved
originally published at
www.jimsdesk.com
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