So was feeling nervous yesterday. Woke up this morning to a letter from the
conference in Austin that John agreed to not attend (thank the lord), and I
found out the names of the chair of my panel, and the one who comments on the
three papers (one is mine) it comprises: both very big guns, both young cocky
hard hitting law and history types who know far more than me about medieval
legal history generally.
Mentioned to my ex that feeling quite frightened and instead of soothing me
(which of course was what I wanted) he asked in a nervous voice whether I
thought I could do any of this -- meaning the conferences and the teaching job.
Gawd, he has lost faith. That made me more nervous.
I am not just going to wait for things to go bad. I will send the paper to
this commentator now and get his feedback so I will be prepared at the
conference. And I am trying to be well prepared for classes. Point is that can
do things to try to succeed . . . but I guess I use ASD too as a place (like a
diary) to quietly wail. And boy do I want to wail.
I need to get to a doctor in the states, not just for my legs but for this
fatigue. Very very tierd all the time. It feels like a lifetime of fatigue
built up over these years of grieving over John and fighting for recovery from
the breakdown. Life, however, does not wait for the tierd to regroup. This I
know. So, I close this silly complaining post and go back to the section of
the paper on an overview of medieval punishments in the 13th century. . .
Rosena
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: @@ |
18 May 2004 06:18:17 PM |
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On 18 May 2004 17:14:21 GMT, (Trishamolson)
wrote:
<(((*> both very big guns, both young cocky
<(((*> hard hitting law and history types who know far more than me about medieval
<(((*> legal history generally
But only generally.
They probably don't know any one topic in detail; that's why you
(and others) have been asked to present.
As for cocky, whenever someone uses that word, I visualize my
cockatoo doing the mating dance, thrusting out his chest and
spreading his tail.
Then I think of what a chicken looks like after it's been
plucked. Naked, pink, with its skinny neck looking like a limp
penis.
Keep those images in your mind when you encounter these guys. No
matter how much they dance around, focus on *your* area of
expertise and remember, underneath their feathers, they're stark
naked and their dinks droop.
Tara J. Ballance
Montreal, Canada
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: @@ |
19 May 2004 07:47:47 AM |
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Then I think of what a chicken looks like after it's been
plucked. Naked, pink, with its skinny neck looking like a limp
penis.
Keep those images in your mind when you encounter these guys. No
matter how much they dance around, focus on *your* area of
expertise and remember, underneath their feathers, they're stark
naked and their dinks droop.
<laughing so hard I am spewing> This is the image to keep in my mind. Great
one Tara!
Rosena
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| User: "Who Cares" |
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| Title: Re: @@ |
18 May 2004 12:45:09 PM |
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u seem to know quite well what you need to do to succeed :)
Im sure you'll be fine. I get butterflies before something big too .. i
feel frightened by it .. I get nervous to the point that I fall sick.
In a way .. feeling so nervous and frightened has to be normal. Im no
doctor, but I believe its our defence mechanism .. kinda similar to when we
are under physical danger .. the body reacts to the stimuli and alerts the
senses to focus on the task at hand .. more than anything else.
c'mon .. u can do it!
trishamolson@aol.com (Trishamolson) wrote in
news:20040518131421.08632.00001467@mb-m11.aol.com:
So was feeling nervous yesterday. Woke up this morning to a letter
from the conference in Austin that John agreed to not attend (thank
the lord), and I found out the names of the chair of my panel, and the
one who comments on the three papers (one is mine) it comprises: both
very big guns, both young cocky hard hitting law and history types who
know far more than me about medieval legal history generally.
Mentioned to my ex that feeling quite frightened and instead of
soothing me (which of course was what I wanted) he asked in a nervous
voice whether I thought I could do any of this -- meaning the
conferences and the teaching job.
Gawd, he has lost faith. That made me more nervous.
I am not just going to wait for things to go bad. I will send the
paper to this commentator now and get his feedback so I will be
prepared at the conference. And I am trying to be well prepared for
classes. Point is that can do things to try to succeed . . . but I
guess I use ASD too as a place (like a diary) to quietly wail. And
boy do I want to wail.
I need to get to a doctor in the states, not just for my legs but for
this fatigue. Very very tierd all the time. It feels like a lifetime
of fatigue built up over these years of grieving over John and
fighting for recovery from the breakdown. Life, however, does not
wait for the tierd to regroup. This I know. So, I close this silly
complaining post and go back to the section of the paper on an
overview of medieval punishments in the 13th century. . .
Rosena
.
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