In reading and researching for the thesis, the weight of the question of the
meaning -- moral and spiritual significance -- of pain and suffering in
medieval punishment struck me, though the question of course was right there
demanding to be answered all along. The answer to my question as a historical
matter implicates the question of how can suffering exist in a world created by
an absolutely just God. Put idfferently, is evil justified? Does it have a
place in His cosmos?

The answers that Aquinas and Julian of Norwich give to this question are
astounding . . . utterly astouding for they imply that evil always as a shred
of good within it. When one thinks concretely about horrific evils such as
happened with the Nazis, or even closer to the present such as Sept 11, it
becomes an astounding and hard hard thought to think (of course I am not
explaining here how they see it as retaining good -- that will take 50 pages or
more).

But I realize in doing this work that it implicates a question I have always
asked, I can recall asking it as young as 5 when I tried to hang myself, how
does one account for evil if God is absolute good? Silly eh, an infant wanting
a theodicy.

I hope I can do this work. I have been so exhausted and spun lately. The move
is in 4 weeks. Behind in everything, though I forced myself to go to a
presentation last night. Trying to "be" *in* the world. But depression, as
everyone knows, puts up obstacle after obstacle to thriving. . . I really wish
to do a decent job on this thesis out of respect for thinkers like Aquinas who
spent a life thinking through thoughts I can barely wrap my brain around.

Anyone read Aquinas "On Evil"? Incredible. Hope everyone is well.

But I realize in doing this work that it implicates a question I have
always asked, I can recall asking it as young as 5 when I tried to hang
myself, how does one account for evil if God is absolute good? Silly eh,
an infant wanting a theodicy.