Gawd almighty, I feel like I am in the middle of a Fellini movie. I am sitting
here trying desperately to focus and concentrate and work through this stuff of
Julian of Norwich and Aquinas on the the good that inheres in pain
notwithstanding its quality as an evil, while at the *same* damn time I am
personally in so much emotional pain right now that -- seriously -- if Maria
was not here, I think I'd inflict self-harm simply to release the pain the way
one pierces a boil.
And believe me, I can see nothing *good* in this suffering, so I feel like a
hypocrite as I think through/write this stuff out, while at the same time being
ripped by the utter conviction that these saints had far more wisdom than I can
even fathom let alone access. But still, in practical terms I want to crawl
off to a corner and howl like a dog who has been beat (and no, I have not a
clue to what brings it on this time of day), but I *must* force myself to
continue on here, literally word by word, not sentence by sentence, to push --
each word -- push past this insane inner torment.
Okay - I am wailing here instead of pushing. Damn't. Keep going and never
never say die.
Rosena
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| User: "% surfs@uniserve" |
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| Title: Re: ** |
27 Jun 2004 01:07:39 PM |
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"Trishamolson" <trishamolson@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040627140300.13554.00000747@mb-m12.aol.com...
Gawd almighty, I feel like I am in the middle of a Fellini movie. I am
sitting
here trying desperately to focus and concentrate and work through this
stuff of
Julian of Norwich and Aquinas on the the good that inheres in pain
notwithstanding its quality as an evil, while at the *same* damn time I am
personally in so much emotional pain right now that -- seriously -- if
Maria
was not here, I think I'd inflict self-harm simply to release the pain the
way
one pierces a boil.
And believe me, I can see nothing *good* in this suffering, so I feel like
a
hypocrite as I think through/write this stuff out, while at the same time
being
ripped by the utter conviction that these saints had far more wisdom than
I can
even fathom let alone access. But still, in practical terms I want to
crawl
off to a corner and howl like a dog who has been beat (and no, I have not
a
clue to what brings it on this time of day), but I *must* force myself to
continue on here, literally word by word, not sentence by sentence, to
push --
each word -- push past this insane inner torment.
Okay - I am wailing here instead of pushing. Damn't. Keep going and never
never say die.
Rosena
and what steps are you taking to change any of this ?
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: ** |
27 Jun 2004 01:18:41 PM |
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and what steps are you taking to change any of this ?
OHHHH -be quiet, said in a friendly way -- OBVIOUSLY I am doing all I can do,
beyond capacity to get it ALL together and good for Maria and myself.
Let a woman wail when she needs to, eh? Doesn't always mean she isn't crawling
forward -- even if it is two inches ahead, three back and so on.
R.
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| User: "% surfs@uniserve" |
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| Title: Re: ** |
27 Jun 2004 01:19:52 PM |
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"Trishamolson" <trishamolson@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040627141841.13554.00000748@mb-m12.aol.com...
and what steps are you taking to change any of this ?
OHHHH -be quiet, said in a friendly way -- OBVIOUSLY I am doing all I can
do,
beyond capacity to get it ALL together and good for Maria and myself.
Let a woman wail when she needs to, eh? Doesn't always mean she isn't
crawling
forward -- even if it is two inches ahead, three back and so on.
R.
yea , but , what are you doing to change any of this ?
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| User: "audrey in velvet" |
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| Title: Re: ** |
27 Jun 2004 05:42:02 PM |
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"%" <surfs@uniserve> wrote in message news:<10du3vhjmh3cb2a@corp.supernews.com>...
"Trishamolson" <trishamolson@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040627141841.13554.00000748@mb-m12.aol.com...
and what steps are you taking to change any of this ?
OHHHH -be quiet, said in a friendly way -- OBVIOUSLY I am doing all I can
do,
beyond capacity to get it ALL together and good for Maria and myself.
Let a woman wail when she needs to, eh? Doesn't always mean she isn't
crawling
forward -- even if it is two inches ahead, three back and so on.
R.
yea , but , what are you doing to change any of this ?
youre ugly when youre jealous.
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| User: "K-9" |
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| Title: Re: ** |
27 Jun 2004 01:59:14 PM |
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On 27 Jun 2004 18:03:00 GMT, (Trishamolson)
<wrote in message>
Gawd almighty, I feel like I am in the middle of a Fellini movie. I am sitting
here trying desperately to focus and concentrate and work through this stuff of
Julian of Norwich and Aquinas on the the good that inheres in pain
notwithstanding its quality as an evil, while at the *same* damn time I am
personally in so much emotional pain right now that -- seriously -- if Maria
was not here, I think I'd inflict self-harm simply to release the pain the way
one pierces a boil.
And believe me, I can see nothing *good* in this suffering, so I feel like a
hypocrite as I think through/write this stuff out, while at the same time being
ripped by the utter conviction that these saints had far more wisdom than I can
even fathom let alone access. But still, in practical terms I want to crawl
off to a corner and howl like a dog who has been beat (and no, I have not a
clue to what brings it on this time of day), but I *must* force myself to
continue on here, literally word by word, not sentence by sentence, to push --
each word -- push past this insane inner torment.
Okay - I am wailing here instead of pushing. Damn't. Keep going and never
never say die.
Rosena
damn the dogs of war.
crack that whip, yip yip. :)
It starts out reading like a Fellini movie but ends sounding more like
child birth.
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: ** |
27 Jun 2004 04:44:09 PM |
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damn the dogs of war.
crack that whip, yip yip. :)
I am still at it.
It starts out reading like a Fellini movie but ends sounding more like
child birth.
That is good I suppose eh?
R.
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| User: "K-9" |
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| Title: Re: ** |
27 Jun 2004 04:52:37 PM |
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On 27 Jun 2004 21:44:09 GMT, (Trishamolson)
<wrote in message>
damn the dogs of war.
crack that whip, yip yip. :)
I am still at it.
It starts out reading like a Fellini movie but ends sounding more like
child birth.
That is good I suppose eh?
R.
It's all we have.
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: ** |
27 Jun 2004 02:04:04 PM |
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On Sun, 27 Jun 2004 18:03:00 +0000, (Trishamolson)
wrote:
snip
And believe me, I can see nothing *good* in this suffering, so I feel
like a hypocrite as I think through/write this stuff out, while at the
same time being ripped by the utter conviction that these saints had far
more wisdom than I can even fathom let alone access.
snip
Those people could have been wrong, of course. What is the viewpoint from
which /you/ are writing - and is it your own viewpoint? It doesn't have
to be, of course, but that would make it more difficult.
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^
-- Whiskers
-- ~~~~~~~~~~
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: ** |
27 Jun 2004 04:46:51 PM |
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Hey Whiskers,
Those people could have been wrong, of course.
I suspect they see far more deeply than I do.
What is the viewpoint from
which /you/ are writing - and is it your own viewpoint? It doesn't have
to be, of course, but that would make it more difficult.
No -- because it is "history" I have to explicate it rather than judge it --
but understanding it is like trying to pick apart a great work of art, or to
explain the reason of Chartres . . .it feels like an impossible task.
But I am complaining -- still working. Hope you are well, how has all been?
Rosena
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: ** |
27 Jun 2004 09:12:02 PM |
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On Sun, 27 Jun 2004 21:46:51 +0000, (Trishamolson)
wrote:
Hey Whiskers,
Those people could have been wrong, of course.
I suspect they see far more deeply than I do.
More likely, they had a 'world view' that is radically different - and
motives we can only guess at. 'Obscure' isn't the same as 'deep' ;))
What is the viewpoint from which /you/ are writing - and is it your
own viewpoint? It doesn't have to be, of course, but that would make it
more difficult.
No -- because it is "history" I have to explicate it rather than judge
it -- but understanding it is like trying to pick apart a great work of
art, or to explain the reason of Chartres . . .it feels like an
impossible task.
The art involved is one at which you are highly skilled. You can't hurt
the creators, and their work still stands unchanged no matter how you
unpick it, so don't be too reverent with it. Have confidence in your own
art. (Yeah, I know, easy to say).
To understand a historical artefact, the context is important if not
vital. Perhaps if Julian or Aquinas is being opaque, you need to step
back and find a light from their environment to make things clearer.
(Yeah, that was easy to say too).
But I am complaining -- still working. Hope you are well, how has all
been?
Oh, so so.
Got formal confirmation on Saturday that I qualify for a 'bus pass', so my
project for the next few days is to wash my hair for the passport photo,
then get to the office to get the pass issued. Then, if I can maintain
the momentum, London is my oyster :)) (and I might even get the car MOTd
and taxed, both being overdue). There are 'bendy buses' on one local
route now, so I want to try them out <G>.
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^
-- Whiskers
-- ~~~~~~~~~~
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