On the verge of tears all day. The move is shaking me up and for no obvious
reason. I want to come home to states, want this job, want Maria to see the
east.Invited out for drinks tomorrow with students, but not going -- too much
trouble with transportation and getting around. But this scares me. So easy to
become a reclusive cripple.
Anyone remember Portia's speech in Merchant of Venice, "the quality of mercy is
not strained . . ." and so on? The kind of thoughts that capture you by the
throat. I miss him. I just do. I do not miss his fist, I do not miss the
cruel quips. But I do miss the intimacy of thought we once shared. There
hasn't been any contact. I think I can control myself to not reach out
irrationally. . . have to remember that a lot was lost in span of a few years:
both parents, profession, him, marriage, sanity. Maybe I expect too much from
life right now, but my little heart is greedy and I wish to be filled.
Got to get feet on earth somehow. But Ophilia remains attractive . . .
Rosena
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| User: "greyeagle457" |
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| Title: Re: @# |
30 Jun 2004 07:12:44 PM |
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"Trishamolson" <trishamolson@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040630145519.04915.00000694@mb-m24.aol.com...
On the verge of tears all day. The move is shaking me up and for no
obvious reason. I want to come home to states, want this job, want Maria
to see the east.Invited out for drinks tomorrow with students, but not
going -- too much trouble with transportation and getting around. But this
scares me. So easy to become a reclusive cripple.
Anyone remember Portia's speech in Merchant of Venice, "the quality of
mercy is not strained..." and so on? The kind of thoughts that capture you
by the throat. I miss him. I just do. I do not miss his fist, I do not
miss the cruel quips. But I do miss the intimacy of thought we once
shared. There hasn't been any contact. I think I can control myself to not
reach out irrationally... have to remember that a lot was lost in span of
a few years: both parents, profession, him, marriage, sanity. Maybe I
expect too much from life right now, but my little heart is greedy and I
wish to be filled.
Got to get feet on earth somehow. But Ophilia remains attractive . . .
Rosena
Any letter, word, sentence, paragraph, oratory, or statement that follows
the word if, is bull *****. All that could've, should've, would've, is
either the product of my imagination, your imagination, or somebody else's,
and that subjunctive thought hurts like hell When our minds are reliving
yesterday, and we fear tomorrow, we have very little left for right now.
Don't allow all that crap, to flood your mind, there's nothing there except
hurt. You CAN stop that bull ***** thought from coming into your house, and
destroying what you have left Am I pissin' in the wind here? I will tell
you again....YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR.
What the hell is Ophilia?
eagle..................
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| User: "Franz Bestuchev" |
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| Title: Re: @# |
30 Jun 2004 06:11:00 PM |
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Trishamolson wrote:
On the verge of tears all day. The move is shaking me up and for no obvious
reason. I want to come home to states, want this job, want Maria to see the
east.Invited out for drinks tomorrow with students, but not going -- too much
trouble with transportation and getting around. But this scares me. So easy to
become a reclusive cripple.
Anyone remember Portia's speech in Merchant of Venice, "the quality of mercy is
not strained . . ." and so on? The kind of thoughts that capture you by the
throat. I miss him. I just do. I do not miss his fist, I do not miss the
cruel quips. But I do miss the intimacy of thought we once shared. There
hasn't been any contact. I think I can control myself to not reach out
irrationally. . . have to remember that a lot was lost in span of a few years:
both parents, profession, him, marriage, sanity. Maybe I expect too much from
life right now, but my little heart is greedy and I wish to be filled.
Got to get feet on earth somehow. But Ophilia remains attractive . . .
Rosena
When I think about what I've lost over the last 4 years, it is
staggering. But to think about the possibilities of the next few months,
it seems difficult and bleak. However there is nothing going to take me
back or return things, and nothing to assure the future.
A hard struggle after an easy fall, eh?
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