Crazy how things turn out, but I continue (alone now) to put the
peaces together, don't much care for the picture that's forming but I
guessed I wouldn't before I started, but this time I have to know, no
matter how painful, enlightenment seems to be the only cure for me, if
I understand better, maybe I can handle it or at least that's my plan,
a little help? Would have been nice, Aswad assures me I Can do this
alone, even if it will play merry hell with my sinews, when they said
I'd never make it I found strength from within !, and its about to
'cost' me everything quite literally, should have never started this...
should have been more content to keep banging my head against the
wall, no net now, ***** this up and its a freefall tailspin all the way
down, (shine) into the future (ah-ha), better pray to God this fuckin'
works, everythings riding on this attempt, failure is no longer on
option, scary thought, and the pay off is 'nothing', sucks badly, cold
and angry inside, bitter even but with a happy smiley face now, and
that's enough to get ya by (apparently), the temptation to come out
fighting is almost overwhelming, I'm to honest to go back to court, I
always pled guilty, they Never appreciate it and screw me with it,
what a fucking mess, given myself till Christmas to sort all this out,
its going to be tight, 'Cause it is there if you seek it, so you can
get it if you really want, So...
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