| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Rosena" |
| Date: |
17 Oct 2005 01:56:30 PM |
| Object: |
@ Had to Get Forceful @ |
And it upsets me and throws me in a spin because I tend not to like to
be real agressive (except when I get real hot). Maria was kicked out
of extended day because she talked about suicide, jail, and writing on
walls, and some younger children over heard her and told their parents
and the parents are upset.
I told the principle that I understand her concern but that throwing
Maria out was not appropriate and that she does, even as a minor, have
some legal protection as to speech. I assured her Maria would watch it
(I hope) and be more discreet (I cannot tell Maria not to talk about
her true feelings with her friends).
I am angry. This hurts Maria making her more lonley. After school is a
way to be with friends. And we have no way to pick her up after school
for I am at school and leif is at work. I am not sure what we are going
to do.
I am worried Maria is going to get tossed out of school and this would
really be bad for her. Conference tomorrow. I am dreading it, but I
intend to be firm with them. Problem is I don't have a clue how to
help Maria see that school -- education -- is a precious thing that
matters almost (I think) more than anything for a child other than the
first thing which is love, care, and stability.
I am spinning.
Rosena
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| User: "Luna" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 06:16:52 AM |
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"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1129575390.582991.251210@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
And it upsets me and throws me in a spin because I tend not to like to
be real agressive (except when I get real hot). Maria was kicked out
of extended day because she talked about suicide, jail, and writing on
walls, and some younger children over heard her and told their parents
and the parents are upset.
I told the principle that I understand her concern but that throwing
Maria out was not appropriate and that she does, even as a minor, have
some legal protection as to speech. I assured her Maria would watch it
(I hope) and be more discreet (I cannot tell Maria not to talk about
her true feelings with her friends).
I am angry. This hurts Maria making her more lonley. After school is a
way to be with friends. And we have no way to pick her up after school
for I am at school and leif is at work. I am not sure what we are going
to do.
I am worried Maria is going to get tossed out of school and this would
really be bad for her. Conference tomorrow. I am dreading it, but I
intend to be firm with them. Problem is I don't have a clue how to
help Maria see that school -- education -- is a precious thing that
matters almost (I think) more than anything for a child other than the
first thing which is love, care, and stability.
I am spinning.
Does she want to get booted from school? I thought she had made good
friends there so it would seem a pretty counter productive thing for her to
do.
Anyway. I don't think the problem is that she has these self destructive
thoughts and impulses (so far as what the school is complaining about, I
mean), it's the bullhorn approach she's using when communicating them around
her classmates. I can understand the school wanting to shut that down - if
she were talking about doing heroin or drinking to blackout it would be met
with the same disapproval.
Sit her down and say the words "Home Schooling". That might put the fear of
God into her.
Jean
Rosena
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| User: "Nina" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 07:24:43 AM |
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On Tue, 18 Oct 2005 07:16:52 -0400, "Luna" <lunajean@gmail.com> wrote:
"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1129575390.582991.251210@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
And it upsets me and throws me in a spin because I tend not to like to
be real agressive (except when I get real hot). Maria was kicked out
of extended day because she talked about suicide, jail, and writing on
walls, and some younger children over heard her and told their parents
and the parents are upset.
I told the principle that I understand her concern but that throwing
Maria out was not appropriate and that she does, even as a minor, have
some legal protection as to speech. I assured her Maria would watch it
(I hope) and be more discreet (I cannot tell Maria not to talk about
her true feelings with her friends).
I am angry. This hurts Maria making her more lonley. After school is a
way to be with friends. And we have no way to pick her up after school
for I am at school and leif is at work. I am not sure what we are going
to do.
I am worried Maria is going to get tossed out of school and this would
really be bad for her. Conference tomorrow. I am dreading it, but I
intend to be firm with them. Problem is I don't have a clue how to
help Maria see that school -- education -- is a precious thing that
matters almost (I think) more than anything for a child other than the
first thing which is love, care, and stability.
I am spinning.
Does she want to get booted from school? I thought she had made good
friends there so it would seem a pretty counter productive thing for her to
do.
Anyway. I don't think the problem is that she has these self destructive
thoughts and impulses (so far as what the school is complaining about, I
mean), it's the bullhorn approach she's using when communicating them around
her classmates. I can understand the school wanting to shut that down - if
she were talking about doing heroin or drinking to blackout it would be met
with the same disapproval.
Sit her down and say the words "Home Schooling". That might put the fear of
God into her.
Yeah, that's exactly what I meant. I mean, yes, she is having an
incredible number of problems. But she has to make some choices about
what environment she wants to have those problems in, if that makes
any sense.
I think that one thing that's easy to lose track of, whether you're
Maria's age or ours, is that we ALWAYS have choices, and that actions
have consequences. You can take steps to try to make things better,
or you can do things to make things worse. And it's better to learn
that earlier rather than later.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 08:16:16 AM |
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Y'know, I'm no shrink but it seems to me that Maria's behavior was
designed in this case to call attention to her issues, like a cry for
help. Especially if she likes being in school with her friends.
In this case, it would be a good thing, meaning she wants to be helped,
wants to be seen as broken so she can be fixed. That's alot better than
secret cutting.
Bobbie
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| User: "pannah" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 08:25:45 PM |
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"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1129575390.582991.251210@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
And it upsets me and throws me in a spin because I tend not to like to
be real agressive (except when I get real hot). Maria was kicked out
of extended day because she talked about suicide, jail, and writing on
walls, and some younger children over heard her and told their parents
and the parents are upset.
I told the principle that I understand her concern but that throwing
Maria out was not appropriate and that she does, even as a minor, have
some legal protection as to speech. I assured her Maria would watch it
(I hope) and be more discreet (I cannot tell Maria not to talk about
her true feelings with her friends).
I am angry. This hurts Maria making her more lonley. After school is a
way to be with friends. And we have no way to pick her up after school
for I am at school and leif is at work. I am not sure what we are going
to do.
I am worried Maria is going to get tossed out of school and this would
really be bad for her. Conference tomorrow. I am dreading it, but I
intend to be firm with them. Problem is I don't have a clue how to
help Maria see that school -- education -- is a precious thing that
matters almost (I think) more than anything for a child other than the
first thing which is love, care, and stability.
I am spinning.
Rosena
i got tossed from school for talking about cutting and suicide too, a LONG
time ago, in 10th grade.. it wasnt good for my education, but it got me help
that i needed and wasn't getting. i was not allowed back in school till i
got help. i got help and then went back to school and graduated. but
education is worthless if your dead or in a hospital or can't function
anyway. i have a masters degree and can't keep a job even to this day.
getting that degree was the biggest waste of time and money of my whole life
cus i'll never be 'healthy' enough to keep a job i could have with those
degrees anyway.
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 08:52:18 PM |
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Wow did your reply affect me. First, yep you are right and it what I
am telling myself. Maria needs help to recoup emotionally and find
inner security. School is second to that. It is just I worry about
this spinning out worse and worse for her for to get kicked out would
increase depression.
BUT - everything is indeed second to her mental well being and I hope
what we are doing now will help.
Second, I am so sorry they threw you out when you needed help. I am
glad you got the help you needed then but still a bit of compassion and
stand-byness would have been good for you too!
Don't feel like your MA was a waste. I don't know what your area is
but perhaps you studied something you loved? I don't want Maria to
have education for a job. Not at all! I want her to see how each
discipline touches on the "human condition" and study of that condition
will help her find meaning and purpose in life -- will thrill her or
help her to reflect or lend a broader or new perspective that enriches
or at least excites her.
I know from experience (I left school in 6th grade until I was 30 years
old) that the great artists, thinkers, even scientists we study enoble
and strengthen us. I want Maria to be gifted with that strength. You
see . . .I want to arm her, secure her, against the demons of life that
whisper in our ear it is all sound and fury signifying nothing and
then, overcome by that assertion, we fall to the floor.
No -- your MA I would suspect gave you something far more meaningful
than job security (or insecurity)!
Best
Rosena
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 02:37:48 PM |
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Damn principle just wrote me and she is ticked off. I can feel it . .
..Maria is close to getting kicked out for disrespectful conduct . . .I
am at a loss.
***** - going to get Maria from school
Rosena
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| User: "K-9" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 05:14:13 PM |
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On 17 Oct 2005 12:37:48 -0700, "Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> scribed:
Damn principle just wrote me and she is ticked off. I can feel it . .
.Maria is close to getting kicked out for disrespectful conduct . . .I
am at a loss.
***** - going to get Maria from school
Rosena
It is never easy being the new kid in a school system.
Tagging property is a sign of feeling a lack of control.
You have a tough bit of work.
I hope it does not snowball.
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| User: "Nina" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 02:45:04 PM |
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On 17 Oct 2005 11:56:30 -0700, "Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote:
And it upsets me and throws me in a spin because I tend not to like to
be real agressive (except when I get real hot). Maria was kicked out
of extended day because she talked about suicide, jail, and writing on
walls, and some younger children over heard her and told their parents
and the parents are upset.
I told the principle that I understand her concern but that throwing
Maria out was not appropriate and that she does, even as a minor, have
some legal protection as to speech. I assured her Maria would watch it
(I hope) and be more discreet (I cannot tell Maria not to talk about
her true feelings with her friends).
Well, you're the lawyer, but I don't think that she probably does have
a lot of legal protection in this case. The extended day sorts of
programs tend not to be a legal part of the school date that is
legally mandated... so I think that you'd have a really hard time
arguing that they have to keep her there. And, you know, I do think
that Maria should be able to talk about her feelings with friends, but
that doesn't mean that she has to talk about them so loudly and openly
that other kids can hear her.
I am angry. This hurts Maria making her more lonley. After school is a
way to be with friends. And we have no way to pick her up after school
for I am at school and leif is at work. I am not sure what we are going
to do.
1. Find a (college) student who can pick her up from school and stay
with her for a few hours until you get home.
or
2. If there's public transportation, have her come and meet you at
school.
or
3. Consider if there's a way to change your schedule (maybe not
possible if you actually have classes at that time).
or
4. Find an afterschool program that is NOT part of the school. Or
an art program, or something like that, some activity.
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| User: "Used2be" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 03:36:57 PM |
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"Nina" <ninaNOSPAM@economika.net> wrote
4. Find an afterschool program that is NOT part of the school. Or
an art program, or something like that, some activity.
oh i just had a STUPENDOUS idea...what about those karate after school
programs? those seem to be everywhere these days. and they have busses
where they come and pick the kids up from school and take them to their
facility. and the kids do fun things and take karate classes. maybe this
would boost maria's self image even...
just a tho't...
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| User: "pannah" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 08:27:36 PM |
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"Used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:JXT4f.50425$zw5.15871@tornado.texas.rr.com...
"Nina" <ninaNOSPAM@economika.net> wrote
4. Find an afterschool program that is NOT part of the school. Or
an art program, or something like that, some activity.
oh i just had a STUPENDOUS idea...what about those karate after school
programs? those seem to be everywhere these days. and they have busses
where they come and pick the kids up from school and take them to their
facility. and the kids do fun things and take karate classes. maybe this
would boost maria's self image even...
just a tho't...
karate is great for kids, the self respect and discipline learned thru it is
priceless.
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 06:21:45 PM |
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Great Idea Cindy, I will see if there are any. Problem is her school is
in middle of corn field and no buses. and I am in class when she gets
out. I saw principle -- she was hysterical about Maria. Therapist
called her and calmed her down. Worried.
Best
Rosena
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| User: "gravity" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 06:53:53 PM |
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"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1129591305.089479.145360@g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
I saw principle --
your principal error was not one of principle, but of suffices.
Michael
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| User: "slunky" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 08:16:10 PM |
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Rosena <filpriros@aol.com> wrote:
Great Idea Cindy, I will see if there are any. Problem is her school is
in middle of corn field and no buses. and I am in class when she gets
out. I saw principle -- she was hysterical about Maria. Therapist
called her and calmed her down. Worried.
Well, maybe one of Maria's friends would want to go too, and you could
arrange to have their parents drop them off there, and you could pick
them up. Hope all goes well.
-slunky
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| User: "Nina" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 03:47:15 PM |
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On Mon, 17 Oct 2005 20:36:57 GMT, "Used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com>
wrote:
"Nina" <ninaNOSPAM@economika.net> wrote
4. Find an afterschool program that is NOT part of the school. Or
an art program, or something like that, some activity.
oh i just had a STUPENDOUS idea...what about those karate after school
programs? those seem to be everywhere these days. and they have busses
where they come and pick the kids up from school and take them to their
facility. and the kids do fun things and take karate classes. maybe this
would boost maria's self image even...
just a tho't...
I *loved* karate until I got too busy to do it regularly, and then I
screwed up my knee. I really miss it. That would be a great thing
for her if she has any interest at all....
.
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| User: "elegy" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 04:55:30 PM |
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On Mon, 17 Oct 2005 16:47:15 -0400, Nina <ninaNOSPAM@economika.net>
wrote:
On Mon, 17 Oct 2005 20:36:57 GMT, "Used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com>
wrote:
"Nina" <ninaNOSPAM@economika.net> wrote
4. Find an afterschool program that is NOT part of the school. Or
an art program, or something like that, some activity.
oh i just had a STUPENDOUS idea...what about those karate after school
programs? those seem to be everywhere these days. and they have busses
where they come and pick the kids up from school and take them to their
facility. and the kids do fun things and take karate classes. maybe this
would boost maria's self image even...
just a tho't...
I *loved* karate until I got too busy to do it regularly, and then I
screwed up my knee. I really miss it. That would be a great thing
for her if she has any interest at all....
<nod>
martial arts are great. cathartic, calming, good exercise,
confidence-building, self-defense. all those cool worthwhile things.
and it's fun!
--
read banned books.
http://shattering.org
x-no-archive: yes in headers
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 06:26:16 PM |
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Hi Nina,
All good ideas. Probelms are several. No buses. So I would have to
find a student to babysit etc. and pick her up. If there are programs
like Cindy said that would pick her up that would be ideal. I am in
class one day I can't miss. Other days I can just get there on time.
But big problem is her lonliness - she loved after school to be with
her new friends.
You are right. Not a legal leg to totter on. I just thought I'd push a
bit to see if she'd back down. I have told Maria not to talk where
young children can hear, to not be outlandish, etc. etc. Big issue now
is they are saying she is disrespectful. She says she isn't. As usual,
I am sure truth is in middle.
Maria defends herself strongly and does not yield well, this can become
so trying that I want to shake her and I think that is where principle
is at.
Anyway, I will deal, just whipped though.
Rosena
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| User: "Nina" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 07:37:20 PM |
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On 17 Oct 2005 16:26:16 -0700, "Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote:
Hi Nina,
All good ideas. Probelms are several. No buses. So I would have to
find a student to babysit etc. and pick her up. If there are programs
like Cindy said that would pick her up that would be ideal. I am in
class one day I can't miss. Other days I can just get there on time.
But big problem is her lonliness - she loved after school to be with
her new friends.
Well, I hate to say it, but there are tradeoffs in life. If she wants
to be with her new friends, then she has to behave herself. If she
wants to talk loudly and actively about things that the school has a
problem with, then she can't be with her new friends. That's
*reality*. So she is going to have to decide which of those things is
most important to her.
I think that you have to be at least somewhat pragmatic about this,
and present it that way to her. It doesn't matter whether this is
right or wrong; it is the way it IS. And if she can't accept it, then
she will be creating her own loneliness.
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 03:44:56 PM |
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On 2005-10-17, Rosena <filpriros@aol.com> wrote:
snip
I am worried Maria is going to get tossed out of school and this would
really be bad for her. Conference tomorrow. I am dreading it, but I
intend to be firm with them. Problem is I don't have a clue how to
help Maria see that school -- education -- is a precious thing that
matters almost (I think) more than anything for a child other than the
first thing which is love, care, and stability.
I am spinning.
Rosena
Bear in mind that Maria's life has been affected by /your/ education; how
has that helped her stability? Her opinion may conflict strongly with yours
about how valuable education is.
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^
-- Whiskers
-- ~~~~~~~~~~
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 10:24:51 PM |
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"Whiskers" <catwheezel@operamail.com> wrote in message
news:83fd23-h4l.ln1@ID-107770.user.individual.net...
On 2005-10-17, Rosena <filpriros@aol.com> wrote:
snip
I am worried Maria is going to get tossed out of school and this would
really be bad for her. Conference tomorrow. I am dreading it, but I
intend to be firm with them. Problem is I don't have a clue how to
help Maria see that school -- education -- is a precious thing that
matters almost (I think) more than anything for a child other than the
first thing which is love, care, and stability.
I am spinning.
Rosena
Bear in mind that Maria's life has been affected by /your/ education; how
has that helped her stability? Her opinion may conflict strongly with
yours
about how valuable education is.
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^
-- Whiskers
-- ~~~~~~~~~~
You took the words right out of my mouth.
--
Rhiannon
rhianon@sympatico.ca
The Labyrinth
http://thelabyrinthofr.blogspot.com
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
17 Oct 2005 10:31:58 PM |
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Wow - am I in ASD doghouse? There were reasons why we moved four times
in four years - I lost my damn job of ten years. maria is well aware
of how much I hate moving her and she knows that my sole aim is to
settle us. England was a wonderful experience for her, though Albany
not great. But she likes Illinois and I am not drifting here thinking
of the next place we can run to - trying to rebuild Rhiannon
Rosena
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 12:54:44 AM |
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"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1129606318.251095.97080@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Wow - am I in ASD doghouse? There were reasons why we moved four times
in four years - I lost my damn job of ten years. maria is well aware
of how much I hate moving her and she knows that my sole aim is to
settle us. England was a wonderful experience for her, though Albany
not great. But she likes Illinois and I am not drifting here thinking
of the next place we can run to - trying to rebuild Rhiannon
Rosena
Oh, I'm sorry, if you had added the disclaimer *Only looking for responses
devoid of any truth* I would have said something more appropriate.
--
Rhiannon
rhianon@sympatico.ca
The Labyrinth
http://thelabyrinthofr.blogspot.com
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 09:02:03 AM |
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No Rhiannon, I am not looking for responses devoid of truth. Why are
you snipping at me?
I realize that the moves are a factor in all this. Whiskers long
reponse back seemed right on target. I know maria feels out of control
of her life.
We - her father and I - are doing all we can to help her and I listen
hard to all constructive suggestions from ASDers and follow up those
suggestions. ASD has been a blessing on that account.
I just was surprised at the 'tone" of your replies (if posts can have a
tone and I read right). Why are you peeved?
Rosena
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 10:03:03 AM |
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"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1129644123.584191.27580@g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
No Rhiannon, I am not looking for responses devoid of truth. Why are
you snipping at me?
I realize that the moves are a factor in all this. Whiskers long
reponse back seemed right on target. I know maria feels out of control
of her life.
We - her father and I - are doing all we can to help her and I listen
hard to all constructive suggestions from ASDers and follow up those
suggestions. ASD has been a blessing on that account.
I just was surprised at the 'tone" of your replies (if posts can have a
tone and I read right). Why are you peeved?
Rosena
And that was my point. That there may be a lot of truth in what Whiskers
said. Maria may have an opinion about education that strongly conflicts
with yours given the fact that your own education has disrupted her life so
much and
how you may want to approach the problem from her perspective rather than
try to convince her that education has value.
Sniping? Tone? Peeved? Yep. Whaddaya know? I'm human. I'm also sad and
angry. I think it has something to do with the fact that I feel more
sadness for that child than I know what to do with. It has filled up so
much of my space there seems to be no room for *you* in there. Given how
much I love and respect you these feelings are very uncomfortable and
strange. I think it best if I stop commenting on anymore Maria threads.
You want honest suggestions and advice? You'll have to take what you get.
You want absolution? Go to confession. Otherwise I can't be of any help
with this one. Anything I want to say won't do either of us any good. All
the best to you and Maria. Good luck.
--
Rhiannon
rhianon@sympatico.ca
The Labyrinth
http://thelabyrinthofr.blogspot.com
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 01:34:49 PM |
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Dear Rhiannon,
Please don't stop offering insight and suggestion even if you are
"peeved" at times. I have no family to talk to about what to do and
only one friend a thousand miles away so I really depend on my ASD
friends. No, I don't want absolution here though confession is not a
bad idea :)
Is there something specific you are not saying that you think I need to
do for Maria? I genuinely do want honest advice, suggestions,
insights. She is my only child and I have no brothers or sisters so
unfortunately I am going by instinct and not sure that is always right.
Maria says she is not upset about moves but the cutting tells me she
is. She begs me to buy a house so we have a home we own where we can
stay. I think the call I may have to make is this: take the job where
I'd make the kind of money where we could buy or stay put for say five
years (through high school) but be very broke. Right now - my call is
to stay.
I am trying to be very firm with her about "acting out" at school but
the school adminstrators are real close to expulsion. She isn't
swearing at them but is very defiant. I am confused. Should I see this
as part of depression and try to get her to talk to me without yelling
at her for messing up OR do I put foot down and push it about behavior
etc even though that might push her to hysterical tears or cutting?
I am trying to take a middle course and she is clinging to me the last
few days but the subject turns to school and she just shuts down.
Anyway - any advice you have I will take.
Best (your admirer)
Rosena
.
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
|
| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 02:16:16 PM |
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"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1129660489.483509.80900@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
Dear Rhiannon,
Please don't stop offering insight and suggestion even if you are
"peeved" at times. I have no family to talk to about what to do and
only one friend a thousand miles away so I really depend on my ASD
friends. No, I don't want absolution here though confession is not a
bad idea :)
Is there something specific you are not saying that you think I need to
do for Maria? I genuinely do want honest advice, suggestions,
insights. She is my only child and I have no brothers or sisters so
unfortunately I am going by instinct and not sure that is always right.
Maria says she is not upset about moves but the cutting tells me she
is. She begs me to buy a house so we have a home we own where we can
stay. I think the call I may have to make is this: take the job where
I'd make the kind of money where we could buy or stay put for say five
years (through high school) but be very broke. Right now - my call is
to stay.
I am trying to be very firm with her about "acting out" at school but
the school adminstrators are real close to expulsion. She isn't
swearing at them but is very defiant. I am confused. Should I see this
as part of depression and try to get her to talk to me without yelling
at her for messing up OR do I put foot down and push it about behavior
etc even though that might push her to hysterical tears or cutting?
I am trying to take a middle course and she is clinging to me the last
few days but the subject turns to school and she just shuts down.
Anyway - any advice you have I will take.
Best (your admirer)
Rosena
I appreciate this Rosena. Really I do. But I think it only fair to both of
us if I do some internal processing before I comment. This has triggered
my inner child and I fear I am identifying with Maria too strongly to be of
any help to you. Perhaps in time after I work through this. You're both in
my prayers. :)
--
Rhi
.
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| User: "Luna" |
|
| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 02:48:49 PM |
|
|
"Rhiannon" <rhianon@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:lTb5f.20110$GH1.266299@news20.bellglobal.com...
"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1129660489.483509.80900@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
Dear Rhiannon,
Please don't stop offering insight and suggestion even if you are
"peeved" at times. I have no family to talk to about what to do and
only one friend a thousand miles away so I really depend on my ASD
friends. No, I don't want absolution here though confession is not a
bad idea :)
Is there something specific you are not saying that you think I need to
do for Maria? I genuinely do want honest advice, suggestions,
insights. She is my only child and I have no brothers or sisters so
unfortunately I am going by instinct and not sure that is always right.
Maria says she is not upset about moves but the cutting tells me she
is. She begs me to buy a house so we have a home we own where we can
stay. I think the call I may have to make is this: take the job where
I'd make the kind of money where we could buy or stay put for say five
years (through high school) but be very broke. Right now - my call is
to stay.
I am trying to be very firm with her about "acting out" at school but
the school adminstrators are real close to expulsion. She isn't
swearing at them but is very defiant. I am confused. Should I see this
as part of depression and try to get her to talk to me without yelling
at her for messing up OR do I put foot down and push it about behavior
etc even though that might push her to hysterical tears or cutting?
I am trying to take a middle course and she is clinging to me the last
few days but the subject turns to school and she just shuts down.
Anyway - any advice you have I will take.
Best (your admirer)
Rosena
I appreciate this Rosena. Really I do. But I think it only fair to both
of
us if I do some internal processing before I comment. This has triggered
my inner child and I fear I am identifying with Maria too strongly to be
of
any help to you. Perhaps in time after I work through this. You're both
in
my prayers. :)
I love this place sometimes.
Jean
--
Rhi
.
|
|
|
| User: "%" |
|
| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 02:52:17 PM |
|
|
"Luna" <lunajean@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:RpidncOAgq2xzMjeRVn-pw@rogers.com...
"Rhiannon" <rhianon@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:lTb5f.20110$GH1.266299@news20.bellglobal.com...
"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1129660489.483509.80900@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
Dear Rhiannon,
Please don't stop offering insight and suggestion even if you are
"peeved" at times. I have no family to talk to about what to do and
only one friend a thousand miles away so I really depend on my ASD
friends. No, I don't want absolution here though confession is not a
bad idea :)
Is there something specific you are not saying that you think I need
to
do for Maria? I genuinely do want honest advice, suggestions,
insights. She is my only child and I have no brothers or sisters so
unfortunately I am going by instinct and not sure that is always
right.
Maria says she is not upset about moves but the cutting tells me she
is. She begs me to buy a house so we have a home we own where we can
stay. I think the call I may have to make is this: take the job where
I'd make the kind of money where we could buy or stay put for say five
years (through high school) but be very broke. Right now - my call is
to stay.
I am trying to be very firm with her about "acting out" at school but
the school adminstrators are real close to expulsion. She isn't
swearing at them but is very defiant. I am confused. Should I see
this
as part of depression and try to get her to talk to me without yelling
at her for messing up OR do I put foot down and push it about behavior
etc even though that might push her to hysterical tears or cutting?
I am trying to take a middle course and she is clinging to me the last
few days but the subject turns to school and she just shuts down.
Anyway - any advice you have I will take.
Best (your admirer)
Rosena
I appreciate this Rosena. Really I do. But I think it only fair to
both
of
us if I do some internal processing before I comment. This has
triggered
my inner child and I fear I am identifying with Maria too strongly to be
of
any help to you. Perhaps in time after I work through this. You're
both
in
my prayers. :)
I love this place sometimes.
Jean
--
Rhi
maybe its the way it tickles your innerds
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 12:57:33 AM |
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hi
.
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
|
| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 01:19:57 AM |
|
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"%" <Persent@Gmail.com> wrote in message
news:x_GdnXne55UxE8neRVn-qg@giganews.com...
hi
Hi :) How goes it? Did you get the stitches out?
--
Rhiannon
rhianon@sympatico.ca
The Labyrinth
http://thelabyrinthofr.blogspot.com
.
|
|
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| User: "%" |
|
| Title: Re: @ Had to Get Forceful @ |
18 Oct 2005 01:25:03 AM |
|
|
"Rhiannon" <rhianon@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:Pu05f.19914$GH1.229650@news20.bellglobal.com...
"%" <Persent@Gmail.com> wrote in message
news:x_GdnXne55UxE8neRVn-qg@giganews.com...
hi
Hi :) How goes it? Did you get the stitches out?
--
Rhiannon
rhianon@sympatico.ca
The Labyrinth
http://thelabyrinthofr.blogspot.com
yep , i'm a babe again , a little bit of yucky red left
but that'll be gone by breakfast , look out , women will kiss me again ,
form a line ... here
.
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