Maria and I went to Hot Topic and she pciked out a red and
black Green Day T shirt. Then we looked at perfume (which I
like to spray) and went to the film. I am glad she saw it.
Well acted, a serious story but with bits of levity
throughout - family dealing with the ***** life throws -
good film. Then we went to eat a quick bite and she had a
shirley temple and I thought what the heck and had a mai
tai. Now we're home (after she kept her head out of the
window the whole trip singing loudly and off key to her
rock station on the radio).

I want to write that I am all okay and recovered from my
latest episode with John, I want to appear even here on
usenet as terribly strong and insightful and not like a rat
trapped in a cage. But now it is late here, and I did my
day, and I wincing a bit from the sadness I pushed away all
day. The hate and blame in his email hurt. I guess that is
just it, I wither under his judgment (I know senseless).

I wish I knew what steps to take to like myself, to think I
am okay and not wasted space, a mistake that God
inadverently let be born. I don't know how to go about it.

Work a bit and then rest. Usually, I get a bit stronger as
I let time pass again after such fiascos.

Rosena