Well, Maria and I had a great day. We saw an adeventure movie and
laughed a lot. Bought bright red hairspray dye (washes out) for her
hair. And generally I did no work. But I am anxious for this time with
her before operation.
My legs are in severe pain and I am anxious for operation though
worried. I will have only two weeks to recover before I must be ready
to teach in summer and the doctors have stressed what major surgery it
is (and the fear of complications). I will just have to wait and be
patient.
I found a house for us in Illinois and really want us to get it (rent)
for it has a fireplace and this really makes Maria feel more secure at
home. Also, I'd have an actual study.
Still not "okay." When I teach I am. A couple of students praised me
as being "wonderful" and that really put a smile on my face. Also,
Maria's father made an art sale and got a show so that is great. I
just . . . last night I had a dream about John as I do every night. He
was telling me, "Rosena, you simply aren't special. You are boring."
And it cut like a knief. I am stewing in his judgment of me and it
keeps me from writing, doing my work, etc. feeling potent.
But for all of this to work - get through grad school swiftly, find a
teaching job, keep Maria well emotionally and provide nurture for her,
stay afloat financially, I have to be vital, bursting with energy and
going at a fast pace. There is no space for hours of depression
paralysis or health problems. Isay this a lot, don't I?
Oh well. Try to work tonight and tomorrow. My book on Torment in
medieval art is great and text is quite good. I have to revise a bit on
my article. Just so much too do feel a bit flustered: write two tests,
get sample questions, finish classes next week, go for heart tests next
week, finish Robin Hood article draft, do History of Punishment reader
for summer course, rent house, and have damn major surgery in a week or
so . . .that's all. YEEEK.
Hope everyone is well. That is my report.
Rosena
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 10:46:15 AM |
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"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1114221252.194006.315390@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
<snipped>
Hope everyone is well. That is my report.
Rosena
Good for you! Very proactive. Planning ahead. Excellent work. Keep us up
to date on the medical news if possible. I pray for you everyday but will
be especially fervent during your surgery. . Take care of you. :)
--
rhianon@sympatico.ca
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 01:11:16 PM |
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Hey you!
Your prayers mean much - really. Trying to be proactive. But
actually, I also get fretty if ducks aren't in a row (and duck do not
like to line up much - can't herd ducks! :) )
Rosena
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| User: "Catybu" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 12:52:20 PM |
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"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1114221252.194006.315390@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
Well, Maria and I had a great day. We saw an adeventure movie and
laughed a lot. Bought bright red hairspray dye (washes out) for her
hair. And generally I did no work. But I am anxious for this time with
her before operation.
My legs are in severe pain and I am anxious for operation though
worried. I will have only two weeks to recover before I must be ready
to teach in summer and the doctors have stressed what major surgery it
is (and the fear of complications). I will just have to wait and be
patient.
I found a house for us in Illinois and really want us to get it (rent)
for it has a fireplace and this really makes Maria feel more secure at
home. Also, I'd have an actual study.
Still not "okay." When I teach I am. A couple of students praised me
as being "wonderful" and that really put a smile on my face. Also,
Maria's father made an art sale and got a show so that is great. I
just . . . last night I had a dream about John as I do every night. He
was telling me, "Rosena, you simply aren't special. You are boring."
And it cut like a knief. I am stewing in his judgment of me and it
keeps me from writing, doing my work, etc. feeling potent.
But for all of this to work - get through grad school swiftly, find a
teaching job, keep Maria well emotionally and provide nurture for her,
stay afloat financially, I have to be vital, bursting with energy and
going at a fast pace. There is no space for hours of depression
paralysis or health problems. Isay this a lot, don't I?
Oh well. Try to work tonight and tomorrow. My book on Torment in
medieval art is great and text is quite good. I have to revise a bit on
my article. Just so much too do feel a bit flustered: write two tests,
get sample questions, finish classes next week, go for heart tests next
week, finish Robin Hood article draft, do History of Punishment reader
for summer course, rent house, and have damn major surgery in a week or
so . . .that's all. YEEEK.
Hope everyone is well. That is my report.
Rosena
You *sound* really good. I know you are worried about the surgery....who
wouldn't be? And you have work to do that you haven't done but otherwise
you seem to be on the right tract. Ignore the John dream. It means
nothing, you know that! Take care of yourself and Maria and enjoy the
weekend. .
--
"What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind.
Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is."
(Dan Quayle)
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| User: "% . surfs@uniserve" |
|
| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 01:21:34 PM |
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"Catybu" <catybu_2005@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:oXvae.2349$yc.1618@trnddc04...
: "Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
: news:1114221252.194006.315390@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
: >
: > Well, Maria and I had a great day. We saw an adeventure movie and
: > laughed a lot. Bought bright red hairspray dye (washes out) for her
: > hair. And generally I did no work. But I am anxious for this time with
: > her before operation.
: >
: > My legs are in severe pain and I am anxious for operation though
: > worried. I will have only two weeks to recover before I must be ready
: > to teach in summer and the doctors have stressed what major surgery it
: > is (and the fear of complications). I will just have to wait and be
: > patient.
: >
: > I found a house for us in Illinois and really want us to get it (rent)
: > for it has a fireplace and this really makes Maria feel more secure at
: > home. Also, I'd have an actual study.
: >
: > Still not "okay." When I teach I am. A couple of students praised me
: > as being "wonderful" and that really put a smile on my face. Also,
: > Maria's father made an art sale and got a show so that is great. I
: > just . . . last night I had a dream about John as I do every night. He
: > was telling me, "Rosena, you simply aren't special. You are boring."
: > And it cut like a knief. I am stewing in his judgment of me and it
: > keeps me from writing, doing my work, etc. feeling potent.
: >
: > But for all of this to work - get through grad school swiftly, find a
: > teaching job, keep Maria well emotionally and provide nurture for her,
: > stay afloat financially, I have to be vital, bursting with energy and
: > going at a fast pace. There is no space for hours of depression
: > paralysis or health problems. Isay this a lot, don't I?
: >
: > Oh well. Try to work tonight and tomorrow. My book on Torment in
: > medieval art is great and text is quite good. I have to revise a bit on
: > my article. Just so much too do feel a bit flustered: write two tests,
: > get sample questions, finish classes next week, go for heart tests next
: > week, finish Robin Hood article draft, do History of Punishment reader
: > for summer course, rent house, and have damn major surgery in a week or
: > so . . .that's all. YEEEK.
: >
: > Hope everyone is well. That is my report.
: >
: > Rosena
: >
:
: You *sound* really good. I know you are worried about the surgery....who
: wouldn't be? And you have work to do that you haven't done but otherwise
: you seem to be on the right tract. Ignore the John dream. It means
: nothing, you know that! Take care of yourself and Maria and enjoy the
: weekend. .
:
: --
: "What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind.
: Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is."
: (Dan Quayle)
:
:
i'm just glad she's got lots of money agaqin
.
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 01:09:13 PM |
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Thanks Catybu,
I think for many of us there is this this "life" we know we must live
which consists of many varied acts and obligations and then this
depression which is like a ball and chain. So always a bit of
conflict.
Hope you are well too.
Rosena
.
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| User: "Catybu" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 01:47:07 PM |
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"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1114279753.488702.111560@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
Thanks Catybu,
I think for many of us there is this this "life" we know we must live
which consists of many varied acts and obligations and then this
depression which is like a ball and chain. So always a bit of
conflict.
Hope you are well too.
Rosena
Overall, I'm well. I guess I am also aware of this life that we must live
so I'm am usually doing my part to live it. Although, there are still the
times when I try to avoid but I guess those times are getting fewer and
farther between so that's good!
--
"What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind.
Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is."
(Dan Quayle)
.
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| User: "Nom dePlume nomdeplume1000-at-yahoo.com" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
22 Apr 2005 09:21:50 PM |
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Remind us the day before your surgery, so we can pray for you.
--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D.
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.
Guide to Medications for Mental Illness:
http://www.geocities.com/nomdeplume1000
=====
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
22 Apr 2005 09:37:12 PM |
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Thanks Dear,
You are great. I hope you are doing well too.
Rosena :)
.
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| User: "Nom dePlume nomdeplume1000-at-yahoo.com" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
22 Apr 2005 10:02:26 PM |
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I am doing well, thanks. The family has settled into our area fine,
after our move. I have enough spare time (not a lot, but some) to post
here again, and work is going well.
--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D.
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.
Guide to Medications for Mental Illness:
http://www.geocities.com/nomdeplume1000
=====
"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1114223832.622600.129180@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Thanks Dear,
You are great. I hope you are doing well too.
Rosena :)
.
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| User: "Contrarian" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
27 Apr 2005 07:28:53 AM |
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Rosena <filpriros@aol.com> wrote:
was telling me, "Rosena, you simply aren't special. You are boring."
that is in truth a bad dream. odd that it pops up when some things
look better.
Hope everyone is well. That is my report.
just saying hello mostly.
--
but the edge is still Out there. Or maybe it's In... HST (1967)
when i got to the edge , i built a deck % (2005)
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
|
| Title: Re: @ report @ |
22 Apr 2005 11:06:44 PM |
|
|
Rosena wrote...
Well, Maria and I had a great day. We saw an adeventure
movie and laughed a lot. Bought bright red hairspray dye
(washes out) for her hair. And generally I did no work. But
I am anxious for this time with her before operation.
My legs are in severe pain and I am anxious for operation
though worried. I will have only two weeks to recover
before I must be ready to teach in summer and the doctors
have stressed what major surgery it is (and the fear of
complications). I will just have to wait and be patient.
I found a house for us in Illinois and really want us to
get it (rent) for it has a fireplace and this really makes
Maria feel more secure at home. Also, I'd have an actual
study.
Still not "okay." When I teach I am. A couple of students
praised me as being "wonderful" and that really put a smile
on my face. Also, Maria's father made an art sale and got
a show so that is great. I just . . . last night I had a
dream about John as I do every night. He was telling me,
"Rosena, you simply aren't special. You are boring." And it
cut like a knief. I am stewing in his judgment of me and it
keeps me from writing, doing my work, etc. feeling potent.
But for all of this to work - get through grad school
swiftly, find a teaching job, keep Maria well emotionally
and provide nurture for her, stay afloat financially, I
have to be vital, bursting with energy and going at a fast
pace. There is no space for hours of depression paralysis
or health problems. Isay this a lot, don't I?
Oh well. Try to work tonight and tomorrow. My book on
Torment in medieval art is great and text is quite good. I
have to revise a bit on my article. Just so much too do
feel a bit flustered: write two tests, get sample
questions, finish classes next week, go for heart tests
next week, finish Robin Hood article draft, do History of
Punishment reader for summer course, rent house, and have
damn major surgery in a week or so . . .that's all. YEEEK.
Hope everyone is well. That is my report.
Rosena
i'm glad you took a day off. sounds like you needed one. at
least if you feel overwhelmed by a task at hand, you can
always switch to something else. yikes.
good luck with the heart tests next week. let us know how you
do, ok? i'll be thinking of you, crossing my fingers.
-lisa
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 01:13:13 PM |
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How are you feeling Lisa? Does being with kids help you? I often find
that my "stuff" calms down inside when I am with Maria for she really
roots you in the ground of here and now and how important it is. In
some way, being a mom is a blessing, it seems, for those of us who get
"impaired" by depression.
Rosena
.
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| User: "% . surfs@uniserve" |
|
| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 01:20:09 PM |
|
|
"Rosena" <filpriros@aol.com> wrote in message news:1114279993.622070.321770@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
:
: How are you feeling Lisa? Does being with kids help you? I often find
: that my "stuff" calms down inside when I am with Maria for she really
: roots you in the ground of here and now and how important it is. In
: some way, being a mom is a blessing, it seems, for those of us who get
: "impaired" by depression.
:
: Rosena
:
see , i told you my depression is worse than Lisa's ,
and now it always will be because i'll never be a mom
.
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
24 Apr 2005 09:26:45 PM |
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Rosena wrote...
How are you feeling Lisa? Does being with kids help you? I
often find that my "stuff" calms down inside when I am with
Maria for she really roots you in the ground of here and
now and how important it is. In some way, being a mom is a
blessing, it seems, for those of us who get "impaired" by
depression.
Rosena
the kids are, at least, a distraction. being with them usually
helps. when i'm really bad, though, it's hard to focus on them
at all. then it's hard to tolerate being around them, though i
try, and generally do it.
-lisa
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| User: "yellow river, with millie & mollie" |
|
| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 08:51:20 PM |
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|
Rosena wrote:
Well, Maria and I had a great day. We saw an adeventure movie and
laughed a lot. Bought bright red hairspray dye (washes out) for her
hair. And generally I did no work. But I am anxious for this time with
her before operation.
My legs are in severe pain and I am anxious for operation though
worried. I will have only two weeks to recover before I must be ready
to teach in summer and the doctors have stressed what major surgery it
is (and the fear of complications). I will just have to wait and be
patient.
I hope your operation goes well.
I found a house for us in Illinois and really want us to get it (rent)
for it has a fireplace and this really makes Maria feel more secure at
home. Also, I'd have an actual study.
Sounds good.
Still not "okay." When I teach I am. A couple of students praised me
as being "wonderful" and that really put a smile on my face.
Yes, it's always nice when people tell you that they appreciate your work!
Also,
Maria's father made an art sale and got a show so that is great. I
just . . . last night I had a dream about John as I do every night. He
was telling me, "Rosena, you simply aren't special. You are boring."
And it cut like a knief. I am stewing in his judgment of me and it
keeps me from writing, doing my work, etc. feeling potent.
But for all of this to work - get through grad school swiftly, find a
teaching job, keep Maria well emotionally and provide nurture for her,
stay afloat financially, I have to be vital, bursting with energy and
going at a fast pace. There is no space for hours of depression
paralysis or health problems. Isay this a lot, don't I?
I'm fortunate in that I don't have any dependents and that I can take my
mind off work on the weekends.
Oh well. Try to work tonight and tomorrow. My book on Torment in
medieval art is great and text is quite good. I have to revise a bit on
my article. Just so much too do feel a bit flustered: write two tests,
get sample questions, finish classes next week, go for heart tests next
week, finish Robin Hood article draft, do History of Punishment reader
for summer course, rent house, and have damn major surgery in a week or
so . . .that's all. YEEEK.
You can do it. You are strong.
Hope everyone is well. That is my report.
Rosena
--
- yellow river, with millie and mollie
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 09:38:27 PM |
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Thanks you! I am right with you on making lists and having small but
completely satisfying hail victories! Hope you are well. Time for
more animals for you, a bird? Please get a finch or any other
delightful bird!
Best
Rosena
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| User: "yellow river, with millie & mollie" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 09:42:05 PM |
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Rosena wrote:
Thanks you! I am right with you on making lists and having small but
completely satisfying hail victories! Hope you are well. Time for
more animals for you, a bird? Please get a finch or any other
delightful bird!
Best
Rosena
Thanks. I think I need to get my apartment in order before I get a bird.
Besides, Millie and Mollie are delightful animals too! :)
--
- yellow river, with millie and mollie
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 09:50:58 PM |
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You seem to have created a wonder place for them and to find real joy
with them. I am glad.
Just wanted to see a Yellow River home for "little critters" who need a
kind human hand :)
Rosena
.
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| User: "Rosena" |
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| Title: Re: @ report @ |
23 Apr 2005 09:51:01 PM |
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You seem to have created a wonder place for them and to find real joy
with them. I am glad.
Just wanted to see a Yellow River home for "little critters" who need a
kind human hand :)
Rosena
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