| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Noon Cat Nick" |
| Date: |
08 Apr 2005 04:44:55 PM |
| Object: |
51 Things to Do When You're Depressed (sp: humor, or so it's said) |
(reposted from 2001)
1. Call people who aren't home and imagine how much fun they're having
without you.
2. Watch the Weather Channel.
3. Eat a Sara LeeŽ pound cake while it's still frozen.
4. Take a shower and use all the hot water.
5. Check your e-mail--"Damn, nothing but advertising ***** again."
6. Wait for the mail carrier--"Wow, a flyer from a crappy furniture
store and a notice from a collection agency about a bill that I spent
all afternoon on long distance straightening out already, only they
still can't get it right."
7. Turn up the thermostat again.
8. Look at last month's power bill and turn it back down.
9. Watch MTV and wonder why the hell they no longer play any music but
still call it MTV.
10. Watch the fifteen different home shopping channels and wonder who
buys all this stuff.
11. Watch "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood."
12. Cry when he says he like you just the way you are.
13. Obsess about something you have no control over, like someone else's
behavior or the world's climate.
14. Yell at someone you love.
15. Feel like ***** about #14.
16. Watch "Gilligan's Island."
17. Watch "The Flintstones."
18. Think seriously about cancelling your cable subscription.
19. Sleep.
20. Wake up every fifteen minutes.
21. Seriously consider getting drunk.
22. Decide you're too depressed to go out and get anything to drink.
23. Turn the TV set back on.
24. Decide to get some exercise. (Everyone says it'll make you feel better.)
25. Since it's 40° and raining outside, say the hell with it.
26. Make a sandwich.
27. Halfway through eating the sandwich, realize the bread was moldy.
28. Check your answering maching just in case someone called while you
were in the shower earlier.
29. Realize you were supposed to be at work a half hour ago.
30. Call work with a stupid excuse for being late.
31. Arrive at work late, cold and wet (see #25).
32. Get thoroughly ***** at your co-workers and your boss, quit
your job, and cuss everyone out.
33. Go home and realize you're now unemployed.
34. Watch more of the Home Shopping Channel.
35. Try to buy one of those Precious Moments figurines as a present for
someone you hate.
36. Be politely informed by the folks at the Home Shopping Channel that
your credit card is over the limit.
37. Watch Richard Simmons parade morbidly obese people in sweatsuits
around his stage and try to sell you a videotape.
38. Go to the kitchen to get more of that pound cake.
39. Realize that you already finished it.
40. Sit in the dark and listen to music that reminds you of happier days.
41. Cry about the happier days you remember while doing #41.
42. Balance your checkbook.
43. Remember quitting your job.
44. Consider possibly selling any organs you aren't using to pay your bills.
45. Watch ESPN2. Realize that there are people competing professionally
at sports you've never even heard of. There's a guy on TV apparently
racing down a ski slope on a bicycle.
46. Scrounge under the sofa cushions for loose change.
47. Wonder if you could make a living riding down a ski slope on a bicycle.
48. Kick yourself for thinking a positive, if unrealistic, thought.
49. Time yourself to see how long you can keep both eyes open.
50. Fall asleep.
51. Go back to #1 and repeat as necessary.
.
|
|
| User: "sortalilyagain" |
|
| Title: Re: 51 Things to Do When You're Depressed (sp: humor, or so it's said) |
08 Apr 2005 05:22:26 PM |
|
|
"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@catlover.com> wrote in message
news:4256FB56.4C7249FD@catlover.com...
| (reposted from 2001)
|
| 1. Call people who aren't home and imagine how much fun they're having
| without you.
done that
| 2. Watch the Weather Channel.
done that
| 3. Eat a Sara LeeŽ pound cake while it's still frozen.
eaten an carton of ben and jerry's heath bar crunch
| 4. Take a shower and use all the hot water.
i take a show every day anyway
| 5. Check your e-mail--"Damn, nothing but advertising ***** again."
happens anyway
| 6. Wait for the mail carrier--"Wow, a flyer from a crappy furniture
| store and a notice from a collection agency about a bill that I spent
| all afternoon on long distance straightening out already, only they
| still can't get it right."
no
| 7. Turn up the thermostat again.
no i like it down
| 8. Look at last month's power bill and turn it back down.
no i always pay the bills
| 9. Watch MTV and wonder why the hell they no longer play any music but
| still call it MTV.
dont' like mtv
| 10. Watch the fifteen different home shopping channels and wonder who
| buys all this stuff.
don't have cable
| 11. Watch "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood."
that can be done even when i'm not depressed
| 12. Cry when he says he like you just the way you are.
oh yea
| 13. Obsess about something you have no control over, like someone else's
| behavior or the world's climate.
oh yea
| 14. Yell at someone you love.
oh yea
| 15. Feel like ***** about #14.
oh yea
| 16. Watch "Gilligan's Island."
can't no matter how depressed i am. it sucks
| 17. Watch "The Flintstones."
like to watch that depressed or not
| 18. Think seriously about cancelling your cable subscription.
can't cancel what i don't have
| 19. Sleep.
oh yea
| 20. Wake up every fifteen minutes.
oh yea
| 21. Seriously consider getting drunk.
i am only a social drinker. don't drink alone.
| 22. Decide you're too depressed to go out and get anything to drink.
yup
| 23. Turn the TV set back on.
always
| 24. Decide to get some exercise. (Everyone says it'll make you feel
better.)
can i do that later?
| 25. Since it's 40° and raining outside, say the hell with it.
yup
| 26. Make a sandwich.
sure
| 27. Halfway through eating the sandwich, realize the bread was moldy.
yup
| 28. Check your answering maching just in case someone called while you
| were in the shower earlier.
yup
| 29. Realize you were supposed to be at work a half hour ago.
oh ya . been there
| 30. Call work with a stupid excuse for being late.
done that
| 31. Arrive at work late, cold and wet (see #25).
done that
| 32. Get thoroughly ***** at your co-workers and your boss, quit
| your job, and cuss everyone out.
been ***** .. but never cussed them out
| 33. Go home and realize you're now unemployed.
not hapend
| 34. Watch more of the Home Shopping Channel.
can't and won't
| 35. Try to buy one of those Precious Moments figurines as a present for
| someone you hate.
ugh never
| 36. Be politely informed by the folks at the Home Shopping Channel that
| your credit card is over the limit.
see 35
| 37. Watch Richard Simmons parade morbidly obese people in sweatsuits
| around his stage and try to sell you a videotape.
eeewww
| 38. Go to the kitchen to get more of that pound cake.
okay
| 39. Realize that you already finished it.
go buy more
| 40. Sit in the dark and listen to music that reminds you of happier days.
no like to sit and listen to sad music
| 41. Cry about the happier days you remember while doing #41.
yup
| 42. Balance your checkbook.
never
| 43. Remember quitting your job.
never have
| 44. Consider possibly selling any organs you aren't using to pay your
bills.
no don't like doctors
| 45. Watch ESPN2. Realize that there are people competing professionally
| at sports you've never even heard of. There's a guy on TV apparently
| racing down a ski slope on a bicycle.
don't like most sports
| 46. Scrounge under the sofa cushions for loose change.
okay
| 47. Wonder if you could make a living riding down a ski slope on a
bicycle.
can't
| 48. Kick yourself for thinking a positive, if unrealistic, thought.
yup
| 49. Time yourself to see how long you can keep both eyes open.
okay
| 50. Fall asleep.
nite nite
| 51. Go back to #1 and repeat as necessary.
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "John" |
|
| Title: Re: 51 Things to Do When You're Depressed (sp: humor, or so it's said) |
09 Apr 2005 02:09:56 PM |
|
|
Funny.
My faves:
3. Eat a Sara LeeŽ pound cake while it's still frozen.
16. Watch "Gilligan's Island."
27. Halfway through eating the sandwich, realize the bread was moldy.
Only I'd add to the last one, "Continue eating."
.
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