Am I A Loser???

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Topic:	Sociology > Depression
User:	"John Kadair"
Date:	13 Nov 2004 03:08:50 PM
Object:	Am I A Loser???

Hello all, and thank you for deciding to read my post. I'll try to
spare you the reader the thick, syrupy self-pity that I'm usually
inclined to lay on pretty thick. Hopefully you'll be able to give me
better advice or make me feel a little better as a result of this.
I'm a 27 year old man with a bit of a self-esteem problem. I'm still
living with mom and dad and still in college (which seems to be going
nowhere). It's been ten years since I graduated highschool and
although I have over 120 credit hours towards a college degree, it's
nowhere in sight because I'm so unsure of myself and my abilities that
I've kept changing my major.
Although I have been known to work, my resume consists of only
dead-end jobs that I've taken on to supply me with a little extra
cash. I have lived on and off in one bedroom apartments but have never
really paid all of my own bills. Right now I have no job but I'm
enrolled full-time in school. My father is a college professor with an
ivy league education. He is a kind but nervous man and he keeps
telling me that he is getting old (turning 60 this thanksgiving), and
he wishes he could see me get a degree and a stable job so that he
could retire in peace. He wants to support me in everything I do and
this makes me feel guilty. He says that I'm at the age where I should
start planning for my own retirement but I'm nowhere near that point.
As far as relationships go, I'm also a nobody. I attend a lot of
political meetings with the hope of making friends (I'm also
interested in politics), but I haven't really made any friends - only
acquaintances. I get no calls and rarely a personal e-mail from
somebody I know. I've seen former classmates of mine get married,
divorced, have kids, buy a house, etc. and I just haven't had any of
these experiences and wonder if I ever will. I've never had a
girlfriend and there have been few times in my life when I can
remember a girl/woman being interested in me. And I was always usually
too lame to pick up on it and explore the possibilities.
My weight is also becoming an issue in my life that I feel needs to be
dealt with. I'm only 5'9 and I now weigh about 235 lbs. This is the
heaviest I've ever been and it's depressing me all the more. I'm not
very attractive because I'm so overweight (I've noticed that when I'm
slimmer girls approach me much more often), and I know it's also bad
for my health. I also dress in a very drab and unexciting manner that
helps people ignore me.
As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be an
intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind. I'm worried about
the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way things
have to be for the rest of my life. I have so many problems... I don't
know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like me?
Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I don't
want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still hoping
that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think" my
way out of my problems.
I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child. I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get out
anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black hole
with no way of returning.
Would you consider me a very screwed up guy? Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?
Thanks.
.

User: "Genomega"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	14 Nov 2004 10:35:55 AM

"John Kadair" <davros_27@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com...

Many that attend political meetings have their own issues so it's not a good
place to meet well adjusted people.

My weight is also becoming an issue in my life that I feel needs to be
dealt with. I'm only 5'9 and I now weigh about 235 lbs. This is the
heaviest I've ever been and it's depressing me all the more. I'm not
very attractive because I'm so overweight (I've noticed that when I'm
slimmer girls approach me much more often), and I know it's also bad
for my health. I also dress in a very drab and unexciting manner that
helps people ignore me.

As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be an
intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind. I'm worried about
the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way things
have to be for the rest of my life. I have so many problems... I don't
know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like me?
Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I don't
want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still hoping
that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think" my
way out of my problems.

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child. I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get out
anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black hole
with no way of returning.

Would you consider me a very screwed up guy? Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?

Thanks.

User: "John Smith"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	15 Nov 2004 03:09:07 PM

If you don't know who you are then you don't know what you want and if you
don't know what you want then anything you do amounts to doing something you
don't really want to do and when you do that your system wants to shut down;
no energy, depression.
More ppl. now than in the first hundred years of America are depressed
because we spent our entire childhoods in school (mass schooling was trully
an institution round 1900). In other words, the growth and development that
normally takes place between 5 and 18 gets preempted by schooling. A lot of
so called successful ppl. are effected, too. Half don't know how to get
married. Half are funtionally illiterate. Most of us go along with wage
slavery with a smile; after all, at least life is cozier than it was for the
first pioneers, right? No critical though, no imagination... This is a boon
situation for therapists, industrialists, money lenders, and the text book
racket, but it's misery for the rest of us.
As a consequence of schooling, obedience is second nature; we aren't aware
of it. We're only aware of the fear, the pang of guilt, etc. associated with
doing what we're supposed to do, college, work, owning a late model car,
etc. Some give in, some drop out entirely, some dangle painfully in the
middle (cognitive dissonance, the conflict between how you think of yourself
and what you're actually doing i.e. a smoker considers themselves too smart
to smoke, yet they smoke; we think of ourselves as free individuals, we live
like wage slaves... we find ways to distract ourselves from this conflict;
tv, beer, sex, food, violence, spectator sports, reactionary politics, etc.
etc.).
Pretend you are absolutely free to do whatever you absolutely really want to
do. Practice this all your waking moments until it becomes second nature.
All successful ppl. do this, btw. Bankers and businessmen are considered
successful, but they're drunken, lying, sociopathic toadies who got rich
because it's against the law for each and every last one of us not to be
their customers (everyone must pay rent, buy a mortagage, buy car insurance,
etc. etc. etc.). They're rich on our backs!
Now consider how many have no idea what's going on around them, what is
happening and has happened to them, and are getting processed through the
therapy, pharmaceutical etc. mill. Now THAT'S depressing.
.

User: "Noon Cat Nick"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	15 Nov 2004 07:02:52 PM

John Smith wrote:

If you don't know who you are then you don't know what you want and if you
don't know what you want then anything you do amounts to doing something you
don't really want to do and when you do that your system wants to shut down;
no energy, depression.

More ppl. now than in the first hundred years of America are depressed
because we spent our entire childhoods in school (mass schooling was trully
an institution round 1900). In other words, the growth and development that
normally takes place between 5 and 18 gets preempted by schooling. A lot of
so called successful ppl. are effected, too. Half don't know how to get
married. Half are funtionally illiterate. Most of us go along with wage
slavery with a smile; after all, at least life is cozier than it was for the
first pioneers, right? No critical though, no imagination... This is a boon
situation for therapists, industrialists, money lenders, and the text book
racket, but it's misery for the rest of us.

As a consequence of schooling, obedience is second nature; we aren't aware
of it. We're only aware of the fear, the pang of guilt, etc. associated with
doing what we're supposed to do, college, work, owning a late model car,
etc. Some give in, some drop out entirely, some dangle painfully in the
middle (cognitive dissonance, the conflict between how you think of yourself
and what you're actually doing i.e. a smoker considers themselves too smart
to smoke, yet they smoke; we think of ourselves as free individuals, we live
like wage slaves... we find ways to distract ourselves from this conflict;
tv, beer, sex, food, violence, spectator sports, reactionary politics, etc.
etc.).

Pretend you are absolutely free to do whatever you absolutely really want to
do. Practice this all your waking moments until it becomes second nature.

All successful ppl. do this, btw. Bankers and businessmen are considered
successful, but they're drunken, lying, sociopathic toadies who got rich
because it's against the law for each and every last one of us not to be
their customers (everyone must pay rent, buy a mortagage, buy car insurance,
etc. etc. etc.). They're rich on our backs!

Now consider how many have no idea what's going on around them, what is
happening and has happened to them, and are getting processed through the
therapy, pharmaceutical etc. mill. Now THAT'S depressing.

Bran flakes, son. You need to eat more bran flakes.
.

User: "DaKitty"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 09:00:47 PM

"John Kadair" <davros_27@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com...

at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?

it all depends on YOU! You're the only one that can make things happen for
You!
There's a saying I like... it goes, "Do the right thing, and the feelings
will follow."
You seem to be bright enough to know what the right thing is.
As you start doing it, the good feelings will follow.
.

User: "alvintchase"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	15 Nov 2004 11:01:29 AM

(John Kadair) wrote in message news:<a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com>...

Hello all, and thank you for deciding to read my post. I'll try to
spare you the reader the thick, syrupy self-pity that I'm usually
inclined to lay on pretty thick. Hopefully you'll be able to give me
better advice or make me feel a little better as a result of this.

I'm a 27 year old man with a bit of a self-esteem problem. I'm still
living with mom and dad and still in college (which seems to be going
nowhere). It's been ten years since I graduated highschool and
although I have over 120 credit hours towards a college degree, it's
nowhere in sight because I'm so unsure of myself and my abilities that
I've kept changing my major.

Although I have been known to work, my resume consists of only
dead-end jobs that I've taken on to supply me with a little extra
cash. I have lived on and off in one bedroom apartments but have never
really paid all of my own bills. Right now I have no job but I'm
enrolled full-time in school. My father is a college professor with an
ivy league education. He is a kind but nervous man and he keeps
telling me that he is getting old (turning 60 this thanksgiving), and
he wishes he could see me get a degree and a stable job so that he
could retire in peace. He wants to support me in everything I do and
this makes me feel guilty. He says that I'm at the age where I should
start planning for my own retirement but I'm nowhere near that point.

As far as relationships go, I'm also a nobody. I attend a lot of
political meetings with the hope of making friends (I'm also
interested in politics), but I haven't really made any friends - only
acquaintances. I get no calls and rarely a personal e-mail from
somebody I know. I've seen former classmates of mine get married,
divorced, have kids, buy a house, etc. and I just haven't had any of
these experiences and wonder if I ever will. I've never had a
girlfriend and there have been few times in my life when I can
remember a girl/woman being interested in me. And I was always usually
too lame to pick up on it and explore the possibilities.

My weight is also becoming an issue in my life that I feel needs to be
dealt with. I'm only 5'9 and I now weigh about 235 lbs. This is the
heaviest I've ever been and it's depressing me all the more. I'm not
very attractive because I'm so overweight (I've noticed that when I'm
slimmer girls approach me much more often), and I know it's also bad
for my health. I also dress in a very drab and unexciting manner that
helps people ignore me.

As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be an
intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind. I'm worried about
the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way things
have to be for the rest of my life. I have so many problems... I don't
know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like me?
Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I don't
want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still hoping
that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think" my
way out of my problems.

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child. I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get out
anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black hole
with no way of returning.

Would you consider me a very screwed up guy? Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?

Thanks.

I can relate to some of the things you talk about here.No,I
don't think you or anyone else is a loser...
.

User: "Brad Kraan"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	14 Nov 2004 01:36:05 PM

I feel the same way you do. I am younger though. It still feels like my life
is going nowhere im 22 no job my stress level has made me postpone my last
year of college. Im 230 lbs. I too am over weight and unattractive. I have
know idea what to do At least I know we are not alone.
"John Kadair" <davros_27@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com...

Hello all, and thank you for deciding to read my post. I'll try to
spare you the reader the thick, syrupy self-pity that I'm usually
inclined to lay on pretty thick. Hopefully you'll be able to give me
better advice or make me feel a little better as a result of this.

I'm a 27 year old man with a bit of a self-esteem problem. I'm still
living with mom and dad and still in college (which seems to be going
nowhere). It's been ten years since I graduated highschool and
although I have over 120 credit hours towards a college degree, it's
nowhere in sight because I'm so unsure of myself and my abilities that
I've kept changing my major.

Although I have been known to work, my resume consists of only
dead-end jobs that I've taken on to supply me with a little extra
cash. I have lived on and off in one bedroom apartments but have never
really paid all of my own bills. Right now I have no job but I'm
enrolled full-time in school. My father is a college professor with an
ivy league education. He is a kind but nervous man and he keeps
telling me that he is getting old (turning 60 this thanksgiving), and
he wishes he could see me get a degree and a stable job so that he
could retire in peace. He wants to support me in everything I do and
this makes me feel guilty. He says that I'm at the age where I should
start planning for my own retirement but I'm nowhere near that point.

As far as relationships go, I'm also a nobody. I attend a lot of
political meetings with the hope of making friends (I'm also
interested in politics), but I haven't really made any friends - only
acquaintances. I get no calls and rarely a personal e-mail from
somebody I know. I've seen former classmates of mine get married,
divorced, have kids, buy a house, etc. and I just haven't had any of
these experiences and wonder if I ever will. I've never had a
girlfriend and there have been few times in my life when I can
remember a girl/woman being interested in me. And I was always usually
too lame to pick up on it and explore the possibilities.

My weight is also becoming an issue in my life that I feel needs to be
dealt with. I'm only 5'9 and I now weigh about 235 lbs. This is the
heaviest I've ever been and it's depressing me all the more. I'm not
very attractive because I'm so overweight (I've noticed that when I'm
slimmer girls approach me much more often), and I know it's also bad
for my health. I also dress in a very drab and unexciting manner that
helps people ignore me.

As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be an
intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind. I'm worried about
the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way things
have to be for the rest of my life. I have so many problems... I don't
know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like me?
Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I don't
want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still hoping
that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think" my
way out of my problems.

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child. I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get out
anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black hole
with no way of returning.

Would you consider me a very screwed up guy? Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?

Thanks.

User: "Noon Cat Nick"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	14 Nov 2004 02:01:01 PM

Brad Kraan wrote:

Given your description, taking the year off sounds wise. Use the time
beneficially. Get a check-up to see if you've got an unknown physical
problem. Talk to a psychiatrist about your difficulty in handling
stress. Try to find a therapist to deal with your self-esteem issues.
Yeah, none of this is easy; there's a lot of effort involved. And the
idea of seeking this kind of help might make you feel even worse about
yourself for a short while. But these are things you need to do for
yourself if you want a shot at a decent future and a life you can deal
with. You deserve that chance.
.

User: "Brad Kraan"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	14 Nov 2004 08:12:13 PM

Ya ive been diagnosed with severe depression and post traumatic stress. I
was in the hospital a couple of months ago for 6 weeks and another time
before that. I'm finally considering going back to work part time. And
finally seeing a psychologist she seems to help.
"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@catlover.com> wrote in message
news:4197B97C.C2FE40A7@catlover.com...

Brad Kraan wrote:

I feel the same way you do. I am younger though. It still feels like my
life
is going nowhere im 22 no job my stress level has made me postpone my
last
year of college. Im 230 lbs. I too am over weight and unattractive. I
have
know idea what to do At least I know we are not alone.

User: "Noon Cat Nick"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	15 Nov 2004 01:59:52 AM

Brad Kraan wrote:

That's definitely a plan, and a good one. I've also had to deal with
those disorders, as well as some others in the DSM-IV.
I hope your family is behind you in this. Support from parents can
really make a strong difference.
What meds, if any, are you taking right now?
.

User: "Brad Kraan"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	15 Nov 2004 01:59:06 PM

Ya my family is very supportive sometimes too much. Last time I was in the
hospital my doctor took me off all my meds and he's is going to wait to try
another anti-depressant. For now i'm on seroquil, imovane for sleeping and
miroplex to try and help with motivation
"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@catlover.com> wrote in message
news:419861ED.A9276FA6@catlover.com...

Brad Kraan wrote:

That's definitely a plan, and a good one. I've also had to deal with
those disorders, as well as some others in the DSM-IV.

I hope your family is behind you in this. Support from parents can
really make a strong difference.

What meds, if any, are you taking right now?

User: "Noon Cat Nick"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	15 Nov 2004 07:08:51 PM

Brad Kraan wrote:

Ya my family is very supportive sometimes too much.

How much is "too much"?

Last time I was in the
hospital my doctor took me off all my meds and he's is going to wait to try
another anti-depressant. For now i'm on seroquil, imovane for sleeping and
miroplex to try and help with motivation

Seroquel is an antipsychotic. What's your diagnosis, if I may ask?
.

User: "Brad Kraan"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	16 Nov 2004 12:39:34 AM

Its severe depression but he using the seroquel as a mood stabilizer.. I
just go with whatever my doctor thinks is best.
"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@catlover.com> wrote in message
news:41995322.F8F9328E@catlover.com...

Brad Kraan wrote:

Ya my family is very supportive sometimes too much.

How much is "too much"?

Last time I was in the
hospital my doctor took me off all my meds and he's is going to wait to
try
another anti-depressant. For now i'm on seroquil, imovane for sleeping
and
miroplex to try and help with motivation

Seroquel is an antipsychotic. What's your diagnosis, if I may ask?

User: "Noon Cat Nick"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	16 Nov 2004 01:25:23 AM

Brad Kraan wrote:

Its severe depression but he using the seroquel as a mood stabilizer.. I
just go with whatever my doctor thinks is best.

Okay. But I hope you at least have comprehensive information on the
contraindications and potential side effects of the meds you're taking.
If I'm going to swallow pills, I want to know everything they might do
to me.
.

User: "Jernau Gurgeh"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 08:07:15 PM

John Kadair wrote in alt.support.depression:
<snip>

As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be an
intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind. I'm worried about
the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way things
have to be for the rest of my life. I have so many problems... I don't
know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like me?
Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I don't
want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still hoping
that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think" my
way out of my problems.

Erhm, sorry to say this, but a little advice and some optimism ain't
gonna get you out of your depression.

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child.

Hey, I still feel like a child, and I am older than you are.

I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get out
anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black hole
with no way of returning.

Would you consider me a very screwed up guy?

No way. Just another one of us who has been afflicted with depression.

Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?

There is hope, definitely. And even though this is not what you want to
hear I would still recommend therapy. Maybe look at it this way: your dad
wants to help you in every way he can, and he is worried about your
future. You are worried about your future, and don't want to be a drain
on family finances. Now if you do not tackle your depression and continue
the way you are doing now, what are the chances that you will improve,
find happiness, financial independence, etc?
But suppose you go into therapy and you manage to deal with at least some
of your issues and as a result can turn your life into a new direction. I
don't know if you have talked to your parents about any of this (and I
know, the first time is extremely hard), but if not maybe you should. It
could be an investment that's really worth it. And you dad might agree
with that.
Mind you, I'm not saying that therapy is the cure-all for everything; and
there are good and bad therapists, but if you find a good one it could
make a big difference.
Good luck,
Jernau
--
The only failure in life
is the failure to try
.

User: "Whateverafter"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 09:05:49 PM

Subject: Re: Am I A Loser???
From: Jernau Gurgeh jernaugurgeh@*****.this.*****
Date: 11/13/2004 8:07 PM Central America Standard Time
Message-id: <Xns95A11E4CF5B84SynchronizeUrDogmas@127.0.0.1>

John Kadair wrote in alt.support.depression:

<snip>

Erhm, sorry to say this, but a little advice and some optimism ain't
gonna get you out of your depression.

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child.

Hey, I still feel like a child, and I am older than you are.

No way. Just another one of us who has been afflicted with depression.

Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?

There is hope, definitely. And even though this is not what you want to
hear I would still recommend therapy. Maybe look at it this way: your dad
wants to help you in every way he can, and he is worried about your
future. You are worried about your future, and don't want to be a drain
on family finances. Now if you do not tackle your depression and continue
the way you are doing now, what are the chances that you will improve,
find happiness, financial independence, etc?

But suppose you go into therapy and you manage to deal with at least some
of your issues and as a result can turn your life into a new direction. I
don't know if you have talked to your parents about any of this (and I
know, the first time is extremely hard), but if not maybe you should. It
could be an investment that's really worth it. And you dad might agree
with that.

Mind you, I'm not saying that therapy is the cure-all for everything; and
there are good and bad therapists, but if you find a good one it could
make a big difference.

Good luck,
Jernau

--
The only failure in life
is the failure to try

Good advice.

User: "Elle"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 08:15:05 PM

On 13 Nov 2004 13:08:50 -0800,

(John Kadair)
wrote:

It's been ten years since I graduated highschool and
although I have over 120 credit hours towards a college degree, it's
nowhere in sight because I'm so unsure of myself and my abilities that
I've kept changing my major.

Have you been in touch with the career couselor at your school?

Right now I have no job but I'm
enrolled full-time in school. My father is a college professor with an
ivy league education. He is a kind but nervous man and he keeps
telling me that he is getting old (turning 60 this thanksgiving), and
he wishes he could see me get a degree and a stable job so that he
could retire in peace. He wants to support me in everything I do and
this makes me feel guilty. He says that I'm at the age where I should
start planning for my own retirement but I'm nowhere near that point.

Just a little armchair psychology here that may or may not apply but
I'll speak it anyway.
Is it possible that you could be so intimidated by your father's "ivy
league education" and his position as professor that you're afraid of
letting him, or yourself, down? If so could this intimidation be
holding you back? Do you feel as though he has high expectations of
you? Sometimes people are so afraid of failure that they become almost
paralyzed and are therefore unable to accomplish much of anything.

As far as relationships go, I'm also a nobody. I attend a lot of
political meetings with the hope of making friends (I'm also
interested in politics), but I haven't really made any friends - only
acquaintances. I get no calls and rarely a personal e-mail from
somebody I know.

Congratulations on getting out there and attending those meetings. Not
everyone has the confidence to do such a thing. You may not have made
friends yet but that doesn't mean that you won't eventually.
In addition to your political meetings are there any other interests
you have? Perhaps there are meetings you could attend for those
interests too, just in case there's slim pickins right now at the
political ones. ;-)

I've seen former classmates of mine get married,
divorced, have kids, buy a house, etc. and I just haven't had any of
these experiences and wonder if I ever will.

First of all if they've gotten married and divorced by your age I
wouldn't exactly call that "success". ;-)
As for having kids you may not want to hear this but you're still
young. I know how clich�d this sounds but please "find yourself" first
before committing to having children. Take it from someone who got
married and had children much too young, it's not all it's cracked up
to be. It's hard to find your own identity when all your physical and
mental energy is spent on raising children.

I've never had a
girlfriend and there have been few times in my life when I can
remember a girl/woman being interested in me. And I was always usually
too lame to pick up on it and explore the possibilities.

Calling yourself names ("nobody", "loser", "lame") isn't going to help
your self-esteem problem. Yes I know it's *because* you have a
self-esteem problem that you do that but maybe your first order of
business would be to consciously try to stop putting yourself down.
Yes I know, easier said than done but isn't it worth a try? That type
of thinking can really hold you back because the more you speak of
yourself in that way the more you'll begin to believe it and the less
confidence you'll exude and let's face it, people are more attracted
to people who seem sure of themselves. (I'm confident that was a
run-on sentence!) Of course rarely are people completely sure of
themselves and I'm sure many, if not most, have to work hard to make
it appear so. But in the process of doing that I think many *do*
become a little more sure of themselves each time.
Maybe you just have to "fake it til you make it!" ;-)

The dressing part is easy - just buy more attractive clothes if you
can afford to. You're probably dressing drab because you're feeling
depressed, I know that's something I tend to do when it gets bad for
me but I try to catch myself and stop myself from doing it and if I
make the effort to dress nicer sometimes I end up feeling just a
little bit better. Besides, red is my color. <g>
As for the weight, have you ever considered joining a gym? Besides the
obvious benefits of weight loss and better health it could also
potentially be a place to meet some friends, including women.

As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be an
intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind.

There you go again, calling yourself names. Am I gonna have to dress
you in a yellow cardigan and make you stand in front of a mirror
reciting "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggonit, people like
me!" ? ;-)

I'm worried about
the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way things
have to be for the rest of my life.

Oh dear, you're so young with so much life yet to live. I know you
don't believe that right now but it's true. And no, this is not the
way things have to be for the rest of your life.

I have so many problems... I don't
know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like me?
Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I don't
want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still hoping
that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think" my
way out of my problems.

If you don't want to attend therapy then yes, you'll have to work hard
to think your way out of your problems. Hell even WITH therapy it's
hard work. By any chance does your college have a counselor/therapist
on staff who you might be able to see free of charge? Maybe it's worth
looking into?

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child. I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get out
anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black hole
with no way of returning.

Depression can stall the best of us but you're certainly not "stuck".
As for maturing just think of yourself as a fine wine, it takes time
but it's worth the wait.

Would you consider me a very screwed up guy?

No, not at all.

Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind,

There's every hope in the world. You CAN overcome this.

or at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?

Absolutely not. At this age life is just barely beginning for you but
you do have some homework to do so get crackin on that name-calling
thing you do. Oh yeah, and put on a red sweater! <G>

Thanks.

You're welcome. I do realize that my advice came out sounding kind of
"Pollyanna-ish" but I hope somehow it helped, even if only a little.
I usually just lurk but your post touched me. I hate to see someone
your age feel as though it's time to turn in the towel.
Take care and good luck. You can do it and will come out a much
stronger, more secure man in the end.
Elle
--
_______________________________________________________________________________
Posted Via Uncensored-News.Com - Accounts Starting At $6.95 - http://www.uncensored-news.com
<><><><><><><> The Worlds Uncensored News Source <><><><><><><><>

.

User: "audrey in velvet"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 03:28:14 PM

On 13/11/04 9:08 pm, in article
a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com, "John Kadair"
<davros_27@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hello all, and thank you for deciding to read my post. I'll try to
spare you the reader the thick, syrupy self-pity that I'm usually
inclined to lay on pretty thick. Hopefully you'll be able to give me
better advice or make me feel a little better as a result of this.

I'm a 27 year old man with a bit of a self-esteem problem. I'm still
living with mom and dad and still in college (which seems to be going
nowhere). It's been ten years since I graduated highschool and
although I have over 120 credit hours towards a college degree, it's
nowhere in sight because I'm so unsure of myself and my abilities that
I've kept changing my major.

Although I have been known to work, my resume consists of only
dead-end jobs that I've taken on to supply me with a little extra
cash. I have lived on and off in one bedroom apartments but have never
really paid all of my own bills. Right now I have no job but I'm
enrolled full-time in school. My father is a college professor with an
ivy league education. He is a kind but nervous man and he keeps
telling me that he is getting old (turning 60 this thanksgiving), and
he wishes he could see me get a degree and a stable job so that he
could retire in peace. He wants to support me in everything I do and
this makes me feel guilty. He says that I'm at the age where I should
start planning for my own retirement but I'm nowhere near that point.

As far as relationships go, I'm also a nobody. I attend a lot of
political meetings with the hope of making friends (I'm also
interested in politics), but I haven't really made any friends - only
acquaintances. I get no calls and rarely a personal e-mail from
somebody I know. I've seen former classmates of mine get married,
divorced, have kids, buy a house, etc. and I just haven't had any of
these experiences and wonder if I ever will. I've never had a
girlfriend and there have been few times in my life when I can
remember a girl/woman being interested in me. And I was always usually
too lame to pick up on it and explore the possibilities.

My weight is also becoming an issue in my life that I feel needs to be
dealt with. I'm only 5'9 and I now weigh about 235 lbs. This is the
heaviest I've ever been and it's depressing me all the more. I'm not
very attractive because I'm so overweight (I've noticed that when I'm
slimmer girls approach me much more often), and I know it's also bad
for my health. I also dress in a very drab and unexciting manner that
helps people ignore me.

As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be an
intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind. I'm worried about
the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way things
have to be for the rest of my life. I have so many problems... I don't
know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like me?
Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I don't
want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still hoping
that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think" my
way out of my problems.

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child. I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get out
anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black hole
with no way of returning.

Would you consider me a very screwed up guy? Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?

Thanks.

There are 32 year olds with the same problem.
audrey
.

User: "% surfs@uniserve"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 03:44:04 PM

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in message
news:BDBC2CEE.767%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:08 pm, in article
a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com, "John Kadair"
<davros_27@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hello all, and thank you for deciding to read my post. I'll try to
spare you the reader the thick, syrupy self-pity that I'm usually
inclined to lay on pretty thick. Hopefully you'll be able to give me
better advice or make me feel a little better as a result of this.

I'm a 27 year old man with a bit of a self-esteem problem. I'm still
living with mom and dad and still in college (which seems to be going
nowhere). It's been ten years since I graduated highschool and
although I have over 120 credit hours towards a college degree, it's
nowhere in sight because I'm so unsure of myself and my abilities that
I've kept changing my major.

Although I have been known to work, my resume consists of only
dead-end jobs that I've taken on to supply me with a little extra
cash. I have lived on and off in one bedroom apartments but have never
really paid all of my own bills. Right now I have no job but I'm
enrolled full-time in school. My father is a college professor with an
ivy league education. He is a kind but nervous man and he keeps
telling me that he is getting old (turning 60 this thanksgiving), and
he wishes he could see me get a degree and a stable job so that he
could retire in peace. He wants to support me in everything I do and
this makes me feel guilty. He says that I'm at the age where I should
start planning for my own retirement but I'm nowhere near that point.

As far as relationships go, I'm also a nobody. I attend a lot of
political meetings with the hope of making friends (I'm also
interested in politics), but I haven't really made any friends - only
acquaintances. I get no calls and rarely a personal e-mail from
somebody I know. I've seen former classmates of mine get married,
divorced, have kids, buy a house, etc. and I just haven't had any of
these experiences and wonder if I ever will. I've never had a
girlfriend and there have been few times in my life when I can
remember a girl/woman being interested in me. And I was always usually
too lame to pick up on it and explore the possibilities.

My weight is also becoming an issue in my life that I feel needs to be
dealt with. I'm only 5'9 and I now weigh about 235 lbs. This is the
heaviest I've ever been and it's depressing me all the more. I'm not
very attractive because I'm so overweight (I've noticed that when I'm
slimmer girls approach me much more often), and I know it's also bad
for my health. I also dress in a very drab and unexciting manner that
helps people ignore me.

As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be an
intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind. I'm worried about
the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way things
have to be for the rest of my life. I have so many problems... I don't
know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like me?
Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I don't
want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still hoping
that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think" my
way out of my problems.

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child. I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get out
anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black hole
with no way of returning.

Would you consider me a very screwed up guy? Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?

Thanks.

There are 32 year olds with the same problem.

audrey

name one
.

User: "audrey in velvet"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 04:06:00 PM

On 13/11/04 9:44 pm, in article 10pd01oim4clv16@corp.supernews.com, "%"
<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in message
news:BDBC2CEE.767%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:08 pm, in article
a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com, "John Kadair"
<davros_27@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hello all, and thank you for deciding to read my post. I'll try to
spare you the reader the thick, syrupy self-pity that I'm usually
inclined to lay on pretty thick. Hopefully you'll be able to give me
better advice or make me feel a little better as a result of this.

I'm a 27 year old man with a bit of a self-esteem problem. I'm still
living with mom and dad and still in college (which seems to be going
nowhere). It's been ten years since I graduated highschool and
although I have over 120 credit hours towards a college degree, it's
nowhere in sight because I'm so unsure of myself and my abilities that
I've kept changing my major.

Although I have been known to work, my resume consists of only
dead-end jobs that I've taken on to supply me with a little extra
cash. I have lived on and off in one bedroom apartments but have never
really paid all of my own bills. Right now I have no job but I'm
enrolled full-time in school. My father is a college professor with an
ivy league education. He is a kind but nervous man and he keeps
telling me that he is getting old (turning 60 this thanksgiving), and
he wishes he could see me get a degree and a stable job so that he
could retire in peace. He wants to support me in everything I do and
this makes me feel guilty. He says that I'm at the age where I should
start planning for my own retirement but I'm nowhere near that point.

As far as relationships go, I'm also a nobody. I attend a lot of
political meetings with the hope of making friends (I'm also
interested in politics), but I haven't really made any friends - only
acquaintances. I get no calls and rarely a personal e-mail from
somebody I know. I've seen former classmates of mine get married,
divorced, have kids, buy a house, etc. and I just haven't had any of
these experiences and wonder if I ever will. I've never had a
girlfriend and there have been few times in my life when I can
remember a girl/woman being interested in me. And I was always usually
too lame to pick up on it and explore the possibilities.

My weight is also becoming an issue in my life that I feel needs to be
dealt with. I'm only 5'9 and I now weigh about 235 lbs. This is the
heaviest I've ever been and it's depressing me all the more. I'm not
very attractive because I'm so overweight (I've noticed that when I'm
slimmer girls approach me much more often), and I know it's also bad
for my health. I also dress in a very drab and unexciting manner that
helps people ignore me.

As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be an
intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind. I'm worried about
the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way things
have to be for the rest of my life. I have so many problems... I don't
know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like me?
Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I don't
want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still hoping
that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think" my
way out of my problems.

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child. I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get out
anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black hole
with no way of returning.

Would you consider me a very screwed up guy? Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?

Thanks.

There are 32 year olds with the same problem.

audrey

name one

my ex husband?
.

User: "% surfs@uniserve"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 06:13:09 PM

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in message
news:BDBC35C8.790%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:44 pm, in article 10pd01oim4clv16@corp.supernews.com, "%"
<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in

message

news:BDBC2CEE.767%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:08 pm, in article
a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com, "John Kadair"
<davros_27@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hello all, and thank you for deciding to read my post. I'll try to
spare you the reader the thick, syrupy self-pity that I'm usually
inclined to lay on pretty thick. Hopefully you'll be able to give me
better advice or make me feel a little better as a result of this.

I'm a 27 year old man with a bit of a self-esteem problem. I'm still
living with mom and dad and still in college (which seems to be going
nowhere). It's been ten years since I graduated highschool and
although I have over 120 credit hours towards a college degree, it's
nowhere in sight because I'm so unsure of myself and my abilities that
I've kept changing my major.

Although I have been known to work, my resume consists of only
dead-end jobs that I've taken on to supply me with a little extra
cash. I have lived on and off in one bedroom apartments but have never
really paid all of my own bills. Right now I have no job but I'm
enrolled full-time in school. My father is a college professor with an
ivy league education. He is a kind but nervous man and he keeps
telling me that he is getting old (turning 60 this thanksgiving), and
he wishes he could see me get a degree and a stable job so that he
could retire in peace. He wants to support me in everything I do and
this makes me feel guilty. He says that I'm at the age where I should
start planning for my own retirement but I'm nowhere near that point.

As far as relationships go, I'm also a nobody. I attend a lot of
political meetings with the hope of making friends (I'm also
interested in politics), but I haven't really made any friends - only
acquaintances. I get no calls and rarely a personal e-mail from
somebody I know. I've seen former classmates of mine get married,
divorced, have kids, buy a house, etc. and I just haven't had any of
these experiences and wonder if I ever will. I've never had a
girlfriend and there have been few times in my life when I can
remember a girl/woman being interested in me. And I was always usually
too lame to pick up on it and explore the possibilities.

My weight is also becoming an issue in my life that I feel needs to be
dealt with. I'm only 5'9 and I now weigh about 235 lbs. This is the
heaviest I've ever been and it's depressing me all the more. I'm not
very attractive because I'm so overweight (I've noticed that when I'm
slimmer girls approach me much more often), and I know it's also bad
for my health. I also dress in a very drab and unexciting manner that
helps people ignore me.

As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be an
intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind. I'm worried about
the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way things
have to be for the rest of my life. I have so many problems... I don't
know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like me?
Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I don't
want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still hoping
that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think" my
way out of my problems.

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child. I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get out
anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black hole
with no way of returning.

Would you consider me a very screwed up guy? Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?

Thanks.

There are 32 year olds with the same problem.

audrey

name one

my ex husband?

he's not 32
.

User: "audrey in velvet"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 06:17:10 PM

On 14/11/04 12:13 am, in article 10pd8p8j9ujhdfa@corp.supernews.com, "%"
<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in message
news:BDBC35C8.790%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:44 pm, in article 10pd01oim4clv16@corp.supernews.com, "%"
<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in

message

news:BDBC2CEE.767%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:08 pm, in article
a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com, "John Kadair"
<davros_27@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hello all, and thank you for deciding to read my post. I'll try to
spare you the reader the thick, syrupy self-pity that I'm usually
inclined to lay on pretty thick. Hopefully you'll be able to give me
better advice or make me feel a little better as a result of this.

I'm a 27 year old man with a bit of a self-esteem problem. I'm still
living with mom and dad and still in college (which seems to be going
nowhere). It's been ten years since I graduated highschool and
although I have over 120 credit hours towards a college degree, it's
nowhere in sight because I'm so unsure of myself and my abilities that
I've kept changing my major.

Although I have been known to work, my resume consists of only
dead-end jobs that I've taken on to supply me with a little extra
cash. I have lived on and off in one bedroom apartments but have never
really paid all of my own bills. Right now I have no job but I'm
enrolled full-time in school. My father is a college professor with an
ivy league education. He is a kind but nervous man and he keeps
telling me that he is getting old (turning 60 this thanksgiving), and
he wishes he could see me get a degree and a stable job so that he
could retire in peace. He wants to support me in everything I do and
this makes me feel guilty. He says that I'm at the age where I should
start planning for my own retirement but I'm nowhere near that point.

As far as relationships go, I'm also a nobody. I attend a lot of
political meetings with the hope of making friends (I'm also
interested in politics), but I haven't really made any friends - only
acquaintances. I get no calls and rarely a personal e-mail from
somebody I know. I've seen former classmates of mine get married,
divorced, have kids, buy a house, etc. and I just haven't had any of
these experiences and wonder if I ever will. I've never had a
girlfriend and there have been few times in my life when I can
remember a girl/woman being interested in me. And I was always usually
too lame to pick up on it and explore the possibilities.

My weight is also becoming an issue in my life that I feel needs to be
dealt with. I'm only 5'9 and I now weigh about 235 lbs. This is the
heaviest I've ever been and it's depressing me all the more. I'm not
very attractive because I'm so overweight (I've noticed that when I'm
slimmer girls approach me much more often), and I know it's also bad
for my health. I also dress in a very drab and unexciting manner that
helps people ignore me.

As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be an
intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind. I'm worried about
the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way things
have to be for the rest of my life. I have so many problems... I don't
know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like me?
Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I don't
want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still hoping
that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think" my
way out of my problems.

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child. I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get out
anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black hole
with no way of returning.

Would you consider me a very screwed up guy? Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or at
my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to be
forever?

Thanks.

There are 32 year olds with the same problem.

audrey

name one

my ex husband?

he's not 32

so you know him...interesting...
.

User: "% surfs@uniserve"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 06:33:40 PM

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in message
news:BDBC5486.802%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 14/11/04 12:13 am, in article 10pd8p8j9ujhdfa@corp.supernews.com, "%"
<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in

message

news:BDBC35C8.790%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:44 pm, in article 10pd01oim4clv16@corp.supernews.com, "%"
<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in

message

news:BDBC2CEE.767%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:08 pm, in article
a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com, "John Kadair"
<davros_27@yahoo.com> wrote:

going

nowhere). It's been ten years since I graduated highschool and
although I have over 120 credit hours towards a college degree, it's
nowhere in sight because I'm so unsure of myself and my abilities

that

I've kept changing my major.

Although I have been known to work, my resume consists of only
dead-end jobs that I've taken on to supply me with a little extra
cash. I have lived on and off in one bedroom apartments but have

never

really paid all of my own bills. Right now I have no job but I'm
enrolled full-time in school. My father is a college professor with

ivy league education. He is a kind but nervous man and he keeps
telling me that he is getting old (turning 60 this thanksgiving),

and

he wishes he could see me get a degree and a stable job so that he
could retire in peace. He wants to support me in everything I do and
this makes me feel guilty. He says that I'm at the age where I

should

start planning for my own retirement but I'm nowhere near that

point.

As far as relationships go, I'm also a nobody. I attend a lot of
political meetings with the hope of making friends (I'm also
interested in politics), but I haven't really made any friends -

only

acquaintances. I get no calls and rarely a personal e-mail from
somebody I know. I've seen former classmates of mine get married,
divorced, have kids, buy a house, etc. and I just haven't had any of
these experiences and wonder if I ever will. I've never had a
girlfriend and there have been few times in my life when I can
remember a girl/woman being interested in me. And I was always

usually

too lame to pick up on it and explore the possibilities.

My weight is also becoming an issue in my life that I feel needs to

dealt with. I'm only 5'9 and I now weigh about 235 lbs. This is the
heaviest I've ever been and it's depressing me all the more. I'm not
very attractive because I'm so overweight (I've noticed that when

I'm

slimmer girls approach me much more often), and I know it's also bad
for my health. I also dress in a very drab and unexciting manner

that

helps people ignore me.

As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be an
intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind. I'm worried about
the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way things
have to be for the rest of my life. I have so many problems... I

don't

know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like

me?

Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I

don't

want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still hoping
that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think" my
way out of my problems.

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting here
typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like a
child. I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get

out

anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black hole
with no way of returning.

Would you consider me a very screwed up guy? Is there any hope of me
becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or

my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to

forever?

Thanks.

There are 32 year olds with the same problem.

audrey

name one

my ex husband?

he's not 32

so you know him...interesting...

i know everything except the stuff i haven't invented yet
.

User: "audrey in velvet"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 06:40:46 PM

On 14/11/04 12:33 am, in article 10pd9voelqbg445@corp.supernews.com, "%"
<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in message
news:BDBC5486.802%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 14/11/04 12:13 am, in article 10pd8p8j9ujhdfa@corp.supernews.com, "%"
<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in

message

news:BDBC35C8.790%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:44 pm, in article 10pd01oim4clv16@corp.supernews.com, "%"
<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in

message

news:BDBC2CEE.767%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:08 pm, in article
a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com, "John Kadair"
<davros_27@yahoo.com> wrote:

going

nowhere). It's been ten years since I graduated highschool and
although I have over 120 credit hours towards a college degree, it's
nowhere in sight because I'm so unsure of myself and my abilities

that

never

really paid all of my own bills. Right now I have no job but I'm
enrolled full-time in school. My father is a college professor with

ivy league education. He is a kind but nervous man and he keeps
telling me that he is getting old (turning 60 this thanksgiving),

and

he wishes he could see me get a degree and a stable job so that he
could retire in peace. He wants to support me in everything I do and
this makes me feel guilty. He says that I'm at the age where I

should

start planning for my own retirement but I'm nowhere near that

point.

As far as relationships go, I'm also a nobody. I attend a lot of
political meetings with the hope of making friends (I'm also
interested in politics), but I haven't really made any friends -

only

usually

too lame to pick up on it and explore the possibilities.

My weight is also becoming an issue in my life that I feel needs to

I'm

slimmer girls approach me much more often), and I know it's also bad
for my health. I also dress in a very drab and unexciting manner

that

don't

know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like

me?

Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I

don't

out

my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going to

forever?

Thanks.

There are 32 year olds with the same problem.

audrey

name one

my ex husband?

he's not 32

so you know him...interesting...

i know everything except the stuff i haven't invented yet

lol...whatever...i think you were my ex in my last life. i wont make that
same mistake again
;-P
.

User: "% surfs@uniserve"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 08:25:07 PM

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in message
news:BDBC5A0E.9CC%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 14/11/04 12:33 am, in article 10pd9voelqbg445@corp.supernews.com, "%"
<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in

message

news:BDBC5486.802%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 14/11/04 12:13 am, in article 10pd8p8j9ujhdfa@corp.supernews.com,

"%"

<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in

message

news:BDBC35C8.790%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:44 pm, in article 10pd01oim4clv16@corp.supernews.com,

"%"

<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in

message

news:BDBC2CEE.767%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:08 pm, in article
a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com, "John Kadair"
<davros_27@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hello all, and thank you for deciding to read my post. I'll try to
spare you the reader the thick, syrupy self-pity that I'm usually
inclined to lay on pretty thick. Hopefully you'll be able to give

better advice or make me feel a little better as a result of this.

I'm a 27 year old man with a bit of a self-esteem problem. I'm

still

living with mom and dad and still in college (which seems to be

going

nowhere). It's been ten years since I graduated highschool and
although I have over 120 credit hours towards a college degree,

it's

nowhere in sight because I'm so unsure of myself and my abilities

that

never

really paid all of my own bills. Right now I have no job but I'm
enrolled full-time in school. My father is a college professor

with

ivy league education. He is a kind but nervous man and he keeps
telling me that he is getting old (turning 60 this thanksgiving),

and

he wishes he could see me get a degree and a stable job so that he
could retire in peace. He wants to support me in everything I do

and

this makes me feel guilty. He says that I'm at the age where I

should

start planning for my own retirement but I'm nowhere near that

point.

As far as relationships go, I'm also a nobody. I attend a lot of
political meetings with the hope of making friends (I'm also
interested in politics), but I haven't really made any friends -

only

acquaintances. I get no calls and rarely a personal e-mail from
somebody I know. I've seen former classmates of mine get married,
divorced, have kids, buy a house, etc. and I just haven't had any

these experiences and wonder if I ever will. I've never had a
girlfriend and there have been few times in my life when I can
remember a girl/woman being interested in me. And I was always

usually

too lame to pick up on it and explore the possibilities.

My weight is also becoming an issue in my life that I feel needs

dealt with. I'm only 5'9 and I now weigh about 235 lbs. This is

the

heaviest I've ever been and it's depressing me all the more. I'm

not

very attractive because I'm so overweight (I've noticed that when

I'm

slimmer girls approach me much more often), and I know it's also

bad

for my health. I also dress in a very drab and unexciting manner

that

helps people ignore me.

As I ponder all of these problems the prospect that I may just be

intrinsically flawed person often crosses my mind. I'm worried

about

the fact that I'm growing older and wonder if this is the way

things

have to be for the rest of my life. I have so many problems... I

don't

know exactly where to begin. Is there still hope for somebody like

me?

Please don't recomend "therapy". I won't go to therapy because I

don't

want to be more of a financial drain on my family. I'm still

hoping

that with a little advice and optimism I might be able to "think"

way out of my problems.

I don't feel that I've matured very well and sometimes, sitting

here

typing this post out in my parents dinning room, I still feel like

child. I have fallen into a depression and I don't know how to get

out

anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I do feel I'm "stuck" in a black

hole

with no way of returning.

Would you consider me a very screwed up guy? Is there any hope of

becoming a "success story" and leaving this way of life behind, or

my age does this just mean that this is the way things are going

forever?

Thanks.

There are 32 year olds with the same problem.

audrey

name one

my ex husband?

he's not 32

so you know him...interesting...

i know everything except the stuff i haven't invented yet

lol...whatever...i think you were my ex in my last life. i wont make that
same mistake again

;-P

neither will any other guy now cause you're generally miserable and not much
fun to be around
.

User: "Singapore Princess"
Title: Re: Am I A Loser???	13 Nov 2004 04:04:40 PM

On 13/11/04 9:44 pm, in article 10pd01oim4clv16@corp.supernews.com, "%"
<surfs@uniserve> wrote:

"audrey in velvet" <lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com> wrote in message
news:BDBC2CEE.767%lindauermadness@mydotcomaddress.com...

On 13/11/04 9:08 pm, in article
a47a1bfa.0411131308.57681a76@posting.google.com, "John Kadair"
<davros_27@yahoo.com> wrote: