| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"used2be" |
| Date: |
16 Jun 2006 10:05:21 AM |
| Object: |
an old post of mine from october 1996... |
when i was "cb"...
humble life has got me thinking about the old days.
wow....things were bad back then. it's like childbirth...you forget how
awful it is until you are going through it again. :/
~~~
"just dying inside" by "cb"
i read asd all of the time, but i never feel that i can support any-
one anymore. i don't want to try, only to end up discouraging them
instead. you can't give hope to others when you have totally lost it
all for yourself.
drug #4003. at least it feels like it. my doctor has tried so many
different ones on me that i feel like a scientific experiment. but,
oh if just one would work. my MAOI has worked on and off for a few
years now, but it's "off" again, and i feel so desperate. i spend
so much time crying, or in the bathroom cutting. pain is all around
me. i breathe it 24 hours a day. it's all i see, hear, smell, touch
and feel. i want to die so badly. but i have a husband and 2 girls.
but sometimes that's not enough to make me stop thinking about it.
it's getting to be less and less of a reason to hang on.
i can't keep doing this year after year. my doctor hardly even offers
me hope anymore. he is as frustrated as i am. what he wants to try
now just makes me want to laugh. and cry. but he can't give up. it's
his job. he has to keep trying until i give up. then he can close
the file.
i don't know why i'm posting, except that i feel so horrendously alone.
at least on asd, i know i'm not. yet, knowing it and feeling it are
2 different things. i just can't do this anymore. i just don't know
how.
cb
.
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| User: "aaron from suburbia" |
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| Title: Re: an old post of mine from october 1996... |
16 Jun 2006 06:56:07 PM |
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"used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:RMzkg.5$JW5.0@tornado.texas.rr.com...
when i was "cb"...
humble life has got me thinking about the old days.
wow....things were bad back then. it's like childbirth...you forget how
awful it is until you are going through it again. :/
~~~
hey Cindy, i didn't realize you were here before me '__'
so that means, you probably remember most everyone i remember?
anyway, back when i came here, things were both better and worse.
the things that were bad are now somewhat better
the things that were better are now somewhat worse.
wish i could have the best of both times.
and sometimes i *cringe* at my old posts :/
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: an old post of mine from october 1996... |
16 Jun 2006 05:57:19 PM |
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no , hi , like hi , you know , hi
.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: an old post of mine from october 1996... |
16 Jun 2006 11:15:04 AM |
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I have often wondered if all my old posts are archived on the net...
Bobbie
used2be wrote:
when i was "cb"...
humble life has got me thinking about the old days.
wow....things were bad back then. it's like childbirth...you forget how
awful it is until you are going through it again. :/
~~~
"just dying inside" by "cb"
i read asd all of the time, but i never feel that i can support any-
one anymore. i don't want to try, only to end up discouraging them
instead. you can't give hope to others when you have totally lost it
all for yourself.
drug #4003. at least it feels like it. my doctor has tried so many
different ones on me that i feel like a scientific experiment. but,
oh if just one would work. my MAOI has worked on and off for a few
years now, but it's "off" again, and i feel so desperate. i spend
so much time crying, or in the bathroom cutting. pain is all around
me. i breathe it 24 hours a day. it's all i see, hear, smell, touch
and feel. i want to die so badly. but i have a husband and 2 girls.
but sometimes that's not enough to make me stop thinking about it.
it's getting to be less and less of a reason to hang on.
i can't keep doing this year after year. my doctor hardly even offers
me hope anymore. he is as frustrated as i am. what he wants to try
now just makes me want to laugh. and cry. but he can't give up. it's
his job. he has to keep trying until i give up. then he can close
the file.
i don't know why i'm posting, except that i feel so horrendously alone.
at least on asd, i know i'm not. yet, knowing it and feeling it are
2 different things. i just can't do this anymore. i just don't know
how.
cb
.
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| User: "humble.life" |
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| Title: Re: an old post of mine from october 1996... |
16 Jun 2006 11:17:06 AM |
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somewhere, but it's also hard-drive space which people need to clear.
crysalis7@yahoo.com wrote:
I have often wondered if all my old posts are archived on the net...
Bobbie
used2be wrote:
when i was "cb"...
humble life has got me thinking about the old days.
wow....things were bad back then. it's like childbirth...you forget how
awful it is until you are going through it again. :/
~~~
"just dying inside" by "cb"
i read asd all of the time, but i never feel that i can support any-
one anymore. i don't want to try, only to end up discouraging them
instead. you can't give hope to others when you have totally lost it
all for yourself.
drug #4003. at least it feels like it. my doctor has tried so many
different ones on me that i feel like a scientific experiment. but,
oh if just one would work. my MAOI has worked on and off for a few
years now, but it's "off" again, and i feel so desperate. i spend
so much time crying, or in the bathroom cutting. pain is all around
me. i breathe it 24 hours a day. it's all i see, hear, smell, touch
and feel. i want to die so badly. but i have a husband and 2 girls.
but sometimes that's not enough to make me stop thinking about it.
it's getting to be less and less of a reason to hang on.
i can't keep doing this year after year. my doctor hardly even offers
me hope anymore. he is as frustrated as i am. what he wants to try
now just makes me want to laugh. and cry. but he can't give up. it's
his job. he has to keep trying until i give up. then he can close
the file.
i don't know why i'm posting, except that i feel so horrendously alone.
at least on asd, i know i'm not. yet, knowing it and feeling it are
2 different things. i just can't do this anymore. i just don't know
how.
cb
.
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| User: "Gerrit Vicin" |
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| Title: Re: an old post of mine from october 1996... |
16 Jun 2006 10:38:46 AM |
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used2be schrieb:
when i was "cb"...
humble life has got me thinking about the old days.
wow....things were bad back then. it's like childbirth...you forget how
awful it is until you are going through it again. :/
~~~
"just dying inside" by "cb"
i read asd all of the time, but i never feel that i can support any-
[...]
2 different things. i just can't do this anymore. i just don't know
how.
Sounds terrible! Hope you're better now and won't be like that never again!
cb
gerriT
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| User: "humble.life" |
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| Title: Re: an old post of mine from october 1996... |
16 Jun 2006 10:09:00 AM |
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used2be wrote:
when i was "cb"...
humble life has got me thinking about the old days.
wow....things were bad back then. it's like childbirth...you forget how
awful it is until you are going through it again. :/
~~~
"just dying inside" by "cb"
i read asd all of the time, but i never feel that i can support any-
one anymore. i don't want to try, only to end up discouraging them
instead. you can't give hope to others when you have totally lost it
all for yourself.
drug #4003. at least it feels like it. my doctor has tried so many
different ones on me that i feel like a scientific experiment. but,
oh if just one would work. my MAOI has worked on and off for a few
years now, but it's "off" again, and i feel so desperate. i spend
so much time crying, or in the bathroom cutting. pain is all around
me. i breathe it 24 hours a day. it's all i see, hear, smell, touch
and feel. i want to die so badly. but i have a husband and 2 girls.
but sometimes that's not enough to make me stop thinking about it.
it's getting to be less and less of a reason to hang on.
i can't keep doing this year after year. my doctor hardly even offers
me hope anymore. he is as frustrated as i am. what he wants to try
now just makes me want to laugh. and cry. but he can't give up. it's
his job. he has to keep trying until i give up. then he can close
the file.
i don't know why i'm posting, except that i feel so horrendously alone.
at least on asd, i know i'm not. yet, knowing it and feeling it are
2 different things. i just can't do this anymore. i just don't know
how.
cb
thats the point where i try and make myself go "ooooo oooooo oooooo ooooooo"
.
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