Same for me. My problem is how hypermania tends to establish unhealthy
patterns that are a ***** to break free of. When hypermanic I am highly
motivated. I *want* to do everything. Clean the house, work on my book,
bake desserts, cook a gourmet meal, organize every square inch of
everything. Problem is I want to do it ALL by 4 o' clock the same day.
Psychology my thoughts are racing at the speed of sound. My body is
equally
affected. I feel restless. Itchy. Uncomfortable. A constant sense of
urgency over nothing specific. I cannot sit still for more than 15
minutes
at a time let alone concentrate for that long. Up down. Up down. Up
down.
I end up like a wind up toy that bangs into something and gets caught in a
loop. Still waving its arms and moving its legs - making a lot of noise -
but not going anywhere or getting a damn thing done. At the end of a
hypermanic cycle I am exhausted. It takes a couple days to return to
*normal* and clean up the mess, but in the past year I am finding it
increasingly difficult to recover from these episodes. It seems the
effort
required after one of my three day sprints is so overwhelming I simply
cannot do it anymore. I end up resigning myself instead of pushing myself
and that is really troublesome. My psychiatrist suggested a med change.
Something that works on more than just seretonin. A three prong attack
she
called it that is suppose to increase my drive and motivation. I put her
off preferring to resolve the problem myself without more drugs. But
now -
my place looking like England after the Blitz - and I am reconsidering.

--
rhianon@sympatico.ca

Same for me. My problem is how hypermania tends to establish unhealthy
patterns that are a ***** to break free of. When hypermanic I am highly
motivated. I *want* to do everything. Clean the house, work on my book,
bake desserts, cook a gourmet meal, organize every square inch of
everything. Problem is I want to do it ALL by 4 o' clock the same day.

"electroscopillan" <tminish01@NOSPAMsasktel.net> wrote in message
news:116g7il1p4mcufb@corp.supernews.com...

I would rid myself of this horrible tendency to procrastinate.

my

motivation level. Finish what I start.

me too. that's my biggest problem. getting up/out, and *doing*

things I set out for myself, and in good time.

also, I would like an increased and stable level of *confidence*,

doesn't fluctuate with the wind.

This has got to be the worst part of depression. On days when the

it just crushes me the "getting up/out and doing" you mention here is

impossible. And as if that isn't bad enough there follows the

guilt and shame that go with knowing you *should* which seems more
noticeable because you can't. You mentioned in your introductory

you were depressed so it's no surprise that your confidence level is
affected. It can be down right debilitating. The catch twenty-two

the less you get done the more your confidence is affected and more

confidence is affected the less you get done. It's a vicious circle.

constant balancing act this illness has forced me to engage in was

much of a problem until this past year. I am finding it increasingly
exhausting and difficult to overcome.

--
rhianon@sympatico.ca

"Alan Harding" <Alan@harding.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:Yn$Mj0Z1+BaCFwyz@harding.demon.co.uk...

In message <dmmf61dr3ipq1vaslrio82528kutoq2k9b@4ax.com>, notchimera
<dont@bother.com> writes

On Thu, 21 Apr 2005 03:51:38 GMT, Kenster <kensterbpd@hotmail.com>
wrote:

->If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?

I'd be affluent instead of talented.

I'm somewhere between affluent and poor, like most people, and if I have
a talent, I don't recognise it yet.

You're a gifted writer Alan. That's talent.