| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"AnneB974" |
| Date: |
05 Oct 2006 04:34:57 PM |
| Object: |
Are all men bullies? |
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat. It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
.
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| User: "cal" |
|
| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 05:41:21 PM |
|
|
"AnneB974" <breenybaby@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1160084097.078020.35170@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat. It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
i don't see why, seeing as how you're never going to leave that turkey
you're with, but all right. close your eyes and sit very, very still.....
<sparkle>
<POOF>
there you go, faith restored. but next time i'm sending a bill.
.
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| User: "used2be" |
|
| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 07:46:33 PM |
|
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"AnneB974" <breenybaby@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1160084097.078020.35170@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat. It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
his behavior is cruel and unusual, and you and your baby deserve better.
lots better.
what a complete and utter *****.
:(
.
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| User: "%" |
|
| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 07:52:12 PM |
|
|
"used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:JHhVg.14091$5o5.9919@tornado.texas.rr.com...
"AnneB974" <breenybaby@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1160084097.078020.35170@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat. It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
his behavior is cruel and unusual, and you and your baby deserve better.
lots better.
what a complete and utter *****.
:(
fk you>
.
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| User: "used2be" |
|
| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 03:10:56 PM |
|
|
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:GbSdnYJkGtZINbjYnZ2dnUVZ_tmdnZ2d@giganews.com...
"used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:JHhVg.14091$5o5.9919@tornado.texas.rr.com...
"AnneB974" <breenybaby@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1160084097.078020.35170@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat. It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
his behavior is cruel and unusual, and you and your baby deserve better.
lots better.
what a complete and utter *****.
:(
fk you>
i've never been good at fk'ing myself.
maybe that's my problem.
hmmmm....something to think about i guess.
.
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| User: "Ivan Marsh" |
|
| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 03:32:40 PM |
|
|
On Fri, 06 Oct 2006 20:10:56 +0000, used2be wrote:
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:GbSdnYJkGtZINbjYnZ2dnUVZ_tmdnZ2d@giganews.com...
"used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:JHhVg.14091$5o5.9919@tornado.texas.rr.com...
"AnneB974" <breenybaby@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1160084097.078020.35170@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat. It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
his behavior is cruel and unusual, and you and your baby deserve better.
lots better.
what a complete and utter *****.
:(
fk you>
i've never been good at fk'ing myself.
maybe that's my problem.
hmmmm....something to think about i guess.
Whoa! Unexpected visuals!
.
|
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| User: "used2be" |
|
| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 03:36:14 PM |
|
|
"Ivan Marsh" <annoyed@you.now> wrote in message
news:pan.2006.10.06.20.32.38.932489@you.now...
On Fri, 06 Oct 2006 20:10:56 +0000, used2be wrote:
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:GbSdnYJkGtZINbjYnZ2dnUVZ_tmdnZ2d@giganews.com...
"used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:JHhVg.14091$5o5.9919@tornado.texas.rr.com...
"AnneB974" <breenybaby@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1160084097.078020.35170@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped
off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat.
It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have
done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest
about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily
basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow
selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only
thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells
me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
his behavior is cruel and unusual, and you and your baby deserve
better.
lots better.
what a complete and utter *****.
:(
fk you>
i've never been good at fk'ing myself.
maybe that's my problem.
hmmmm....something to think about i guess.
Whoa! Unexpected visuals!
sorry. i should have spoilered.
:D
.
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| User: "Ivan Marsh" |
|
| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 03:40:44 PM |
|
|
On Fri, 06 Oct 2006 20:36:14 +0000, used2be wrote:
"Ivan Marsh" <annoyed@you.now> wrote in message
news:pan.2006.10.06.20.32.38.932489@you.now...
On Fri, 06 Oct 2006 20:10:56 +0000, used2be wrote:
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:GbSdnYJkGtZINbjYnZ2dnUVZ_tmdnZ2d@giganews.com...
"used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:JHhVg.14091$5o5.9919@tornado.texas.rr.com...
"AnneB974" <breenybaby@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1160084097.078020.35170@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped
off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat.
It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have
done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest
about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily
basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow
selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only
thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells
me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
his behavior is cruel and unusual, and you and your baby deserve
better.
lots better.
what a complete and utter *****.
:(
fk you>
i've never been good at fk'ing myself.
maybe that's my problem.
hmmmm....something to think about i guess.
Whoa! Unexpected visuals!
sorry. i should have spoilered.
:D
Nothing to be sorry about... GGGggguurrrrrr!
.
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| User: "Janithor" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 08:49:33 PM |
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x-no-archive: yes
% wrote:
"used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:JHhVg.14091$5o5.9919@tornado.texas.rr.com...
"AnneB974" <breenybaby@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1160084097.078020.35170@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat. It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
his behavior is cruel and unusual, and you and your baby deserve better.
lots better.
what a complete and utter *****.
:(
fk you>
Bad dad, how sad
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 09:03:24 PM |
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fk off , idgit , and take the sofa with ya
.
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| User: "Janithor" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 09:06:59 PM |
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x-no-archive: yes
% wrote:
fk off , idgit , and take the sofa with ya
Ooo baby, do me now.
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 09:09:49 PM |
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"Janithor" <Janithor@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:4525BAB3.7040708@comcast.net...
x-no-archive: yes
% wrote:
fk off , idgit , and take the sofa with ya
Ooo baby, do me now.
if only she could say that , again
.
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| User: "Janithor" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 01:40:37 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
% wrote:
"Janithor" <Janithor@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:4525BAB3.7040708@comcast.net...
x-no-archive: yes
% wrote:
fk off , idgit , and take the sofa with ya
Ooo baby, do me now.
if only she could say that , again
Good luck.
.
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 01:48:49 PM |
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"AnneB974" <breenybaby@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1160084097.078020.35170@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out there!!!
No...not all men are bullies. Yes...there are good men out there. Sadly,
you are not married to one. Your husbands behaviour is abusive and for the
sake of yourself and your child you need to address the problem *now*. In
your position I would tell him he has one option only. Couples therapy or
you and the baby will leave. Then mean it. If he refuses to go and work on
the marriage pack up and leave. Not easy I understand that but often the
right thing to do is also the most difficult thing to do. I would rather
not counsel you to break up your family. I would rather you exhaust all
other possibilities first. But if your husband is unwilling to do this you
have little choice but to leave a man who does not care enough about his
marriage or his family to fight to keep it.
That baby is not sucking your will to live - your husband is - and any man
who can say..."oh poor baby having such a repulsive mummy"...and not
appreciate the devastating emotional repercussions that will have on the
both of you, is a man who does not know how to love his family. Your baby
may be too young to understand at the moment but this situation is only
going to get worse and you owe it to that child to get out before any more
damage is done. I would also recommend you get private therapy for
yourself. What you are dealing with in addition to the postpartum
depression is too big for you to handle alone. Ask your family doctor, your
local hospital, or even your local mental health facility for a referral and
start taking steps to address your own emotional health separate from your
marital problems. I understand how painful this is. I understand how
overwhelming it is to have to face such painful choices. My heart is
breaking for you. Chances are you're a lot stronger than you believe you
are and now that push has come to shove you can do this. If not for
yourself at least for your child. I hope you will hang out in here and talk
to us about this some more. Sometimes just having a safe place to go, a
place where you don't have to feel so alone can be your saving grace. I
will keep you in my thoughts.
--
Rhi
.
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| User: "AnneB974" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
07 Oct 2006 09:47:40 AM |
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Thank you. I am in a much better state of mind. I have made a few
decisions and no more! Cheers for the words of wisdom.
Rhiannon wrote:
"AnneB974" <breenybaby@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1160084097.078020.35170@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out there!!!
No...not all men are bullies. Yes...there are good men out there. Sadly,
you are not married to one. Your husbands behaviour is abusive and for the
sake of yourself and your child you need to address the problem *now*. In
your position I would tell him he has one option only. Couples therapy or
you and the baby will leave. Then mean it. If he refuses to go and work on
the marriage pack up and leave. Not easy I understand that but often the
right thing to do is also the most difficult thing to do. I would rather
not counsel you to break up your family. I would rather you exhaust all
other possibilities first. But if your husband is unwilling to do this you
have little choice but to leave a man who does not care enough about his
marriage or his family to fight to keep it.
That baby is not sucking your will to live - your husband is - and any man
who can say..."oh poor baby having such a repulsive mummy"...and not
appreciate the devastating emotional repercussions that will have on the
both of you, is a man who does not know how to love his family. Your baby
may be too young to understand at the moment but this situation is only
going to get worse and you owe it to that child to get out before any more
damage is done. I would also recommend you get private therapy for
yourself. What you are dealing with in addition to the postpartum
depression is too big for you to handle alone. Ask your family doctor, your
local hospital, or even your local mental health facility for a referral and
start taking steps to address your own emotional health separate from your
marital problems. I understand how painful this is. I understand how
overwhelming it is to have to face such painful choices. My heart is
breaking for you. Chances are you're a lot stronger than you believe you
are and now that push has come to shove you can do this. If not for
yourself at least for your child. I hope you will hang out in here and talk
to us about this some more. Sometimes just having a safe place to go, a
place where you don't have to feel so alone can be your saving grace. I
will keep you in my thoughts.
--
Rhi
.
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 04:54:33 PM |
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AnneB974 wrote...
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat
me like *****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like
something he has scraped off his shoe and I just allow it.
I am recovering from post natal depression and I just
cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to stand up to
him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now
I am fat. It must be something in my nature or persona that
means I am used as a doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least
I have done something right". he is sucking my will to
live. I know folk jest about being under the thumb but
being bullied and ridiculed on a daily basis is killing me.
Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again
but could I spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker.
He is a shallow selfish ignorant ***** but I cannot see
any life without him. the only thing that he has given me
in the last five years is my baby and I would never be
without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless.
He tells me that I should feel sorry for him having to live
with a beached whale. He is disgusted to be seen with me.
He says to my baby "oh poor baby having such a repulsive
mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30 stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good
men out there!!!
my husband treats me well. i gained weight with a medication
change, and he didn't say a word until i did. i had lost 65
lbs several years ago, and he encouraged me through it without
ever having made a comment on how big i'd gotten.
it's never too late to start again. if the person you're with
is just tearing you down, you owe it to yourself to make him
stop however possible. you might hold couple's therapy over
his head as an alternative to losing you entirely. maybe he'd
go for it.
best of luck.
-lisa
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| User: "Noon Cat Nick" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 05:11:34 PM |
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AnneB974 wrote:
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****.
No, just the men who are bullies and abusers.
And you might start asking what attracts you to men like that, and what
attracts men like that to you. That might sound merciless, but IMVHO I
think it a question worth asking.
And it also might be worth your while to try to imagine what good things
life could have to offer you without having to be constantly chained,
emotionally or financially or in whatever way, to someone like that.
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 12:43:13 PM |
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"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:4525820C.2010407@hotmail.com...
AnneB974 wrote:
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****.
No, just the men who are bullies and abusers.
And you might start asking what attracts you to men like that, and what
attracts men like that to you. That might sound merciless, but IMVHO I
think it a question worth asking.
And it also might be worth your while to try to imagine what good things
life could have to offer you without having to be constantly chained,
emotionally or financially or in whatever way, to someone like that.
I agree with you. Your comments do not sound merciless at all. I firmly
believe in the old adage that we teach people how to treat us and that the
victims patterns of behaviour need to be addressed with equal the importance
that the perpetrators do.
--
Rhi
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 12:56:42 PM |
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"Rhiannon" <rhianon@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:eg64jj$pi2$1@news.datemas.de...
"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:4525820C.2010407@hotmail.com...
AnneB974 wrote:
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****.
No, just the men who are bullies and abusers.
And you might start asking what attracts you to men like that, and what
attracts men like that to you. That might sound merciless, but IMVHO I
think it a question worth asking.
And it also might be worth your while to try to imagine what good things
life could have to offer you without having to be constantly chained,
emotionally or financially or in whatever way, to someone like that.
I agree with you. Your comments do not sound merciless at all. I firmly
believe in the old adage that we teach people how to treat us and that the
victims patterns of behaviour need to be addressed with equal the
importance
that the perpetrators do.
--
Rhi
you want a fresh one
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| User: "Janithor" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 02:38:14 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
Noon Cat Nick wrote:
AnneB974 wrote:
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****.
No, just the men who are bullies and abusers.
And you might start asking what attracts you to men like that, and what
attracts men like that to you. That might sound merciless, but IMVHO I
think it a question worth asking.
And it also might be worth your while to try to imagine what good things
life could have to offer you without having to be constantly chained,
emotionally or financially or in whatever way, to someone like that.
What Nick said.
Although it's a big paradigm shift. You have to be serious about
actually wanting change. You can't just talk about the problem and look
for emotional reassurance about what a bad guy he is. You already know
he's a creep. The question is what are you going to do about it?
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| User: "humble.life" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 04:58:23 PM |
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AnneB974 wrote:
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat. It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
If he was the perceptive person you though he was he would click to the
fact that something other than uselessness is going on.
The problem is, men see women as creatures who get away with
dependancy-murder, and, I think, vice-versa.
Not sure when the guy who says "we're all the same" is due to turn up....
The guy is imperceptive, judgemental, image-orientated and sounds like
he's suffering some form of status anxiety.
If you're not in risk of violence, say something, theoretically people
change into newer and better people, however if you are in risk of
violence then i'd suggest getting the ***** out of their as soon as
possible. Kids are blank cassettes and record absolutely everything.
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| User: "jill" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 05:11:18 PM |
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AnneB974 wrote:
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat. It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
He doesn't really think your repulsive, its a control tatic. Do
you have any place you can go. ? Best of luck to you anne, !!
there are places out there , people who want to help. jill
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| User: "BoredToTears" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 04:54:50 PM |
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AnneB974 wrote:
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat. It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
I don't know how to restore your faith but not all men are "he-man
woman haters". Maybe some of the women here can give you the benefit of
their experience. Try not to tar us all with the same brush. And if
this guy is doing what you say he's doing, leave. No "ifs", "ands", or
"buts". You owe it to yourself and your child.
.
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| User: "Bacon" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 08:34:57 PM |
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On 5 Oct 2006 14:34:57 -0700, "AnneB974" <breenybaby@blueyonder.co.uk>
wrote:
Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****. On a daily basis I am spoken to like something he has scraped off
his shoe and I just allow it. I am recovering from post natal
depression and I just cannot bring myself to tell him. If I try to
stand up to him then he just twists it around and totally attacks my
personality and looks. I used to be a perfect size 10. Now I am fat. It
must be something in my nature or persona that means I am used as a
doormat.
I cannot even look at my baby now and think "well at least I have done
something right". he is sucking my will to live. I know folk jest about
being under the thumb but being bullied and ridiculed on a daily basis
is killing me. Are there any men who do not want to crush a womans
spirit.
I am getting too old and long in the tooth to start again but could I
spend the next 40 or 50 years with this wanker. He is a shallow selfish
ignorant ***** but I cannot see any life without him. the only thing
that he has given me in the last five years is my baby and I would
never be without him.
On a daily basis he tells me that I am fat, ugly, useless. He tells me
that I should feel sorry for him having to live with a beached whale.
He is disgusted to be seen with me. He says to my baby "oh poor baby
having such a repulsive mummy". I am a size 16!! I am not bloody 30
stone.
Please someone restore my faith in there being some good men out
there!!!
You're not responding appropriately and therefore you are disengaged
from the relationship. I hated it when girlfriends wouldn't set me
straight when I pushed buttons. Then you just get hateful, its a
common dynamic. He hates that you're such an easy target, tell him to
*****, present divorce papers, insult him with equal cruelty. Your
weight bothers you, well what bothers him, hair line, ***** size,
career...hit him back just as hard.
This might gain you some deserved respect or might end the
relationship, but either way its better than your ghandi approach
right now.
By the way, I'm 37 and single so don't take my advice as definitive.
But it is stories like this that are so common that have driven me
from ever desiring marriage or children in anything but perfect
circumstances.
.
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| User: "gravity gravity@send_emails_to_Persent_instead" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 05:46:19 AM |
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Is it that I am weak that I allow men to bully me and treat me like
*****.
shut the ***** up.
is that how you want me to treat you? i can be nicer / meaner as needed.
Gravity
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 05:47:51 AM |
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bo ............................................ ner
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 08:44:49 PM |
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all men , men , men , MEN , boners , mmmm , men with boners
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| User: "Ivan Marsh" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 09:15:16 PM |
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On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 18:44:49 -0700, % wrote:
all men , men , men , MEN , boners , mmmm , men with boners
You should never mix mushrooms and LSD.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
05 Oct 2006 09:18:34 PM |
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"Ivan Marsh" <annoyed@you.now> wrote in message
news:pan.2006.10.06.02.15.16.102202@you.now...
On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 18:44:49 -0700, % wrote:
all men , men , men , MEN , boners , mmmm , men with boners
You should never mix mushrooms and LSD.
i'll put that in my don't do what you do list
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| User: "gravity gravity@send_emails_to_Persent_instead" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 05:44:10 AM |
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"Ivan Marsh" <annoyed@you.now> wrote in message
news:pan.2006.10.06.02.15.16.102202@you.now...
On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 18:44:49 -0700, % wrote:
all men , men , men , MEN , boners , mmmm , men with boners
You should never mix mushrooms and LSD.
mushrooms + LSD - morals = Gravity
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 05:45:55 AM |
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boner
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| User: "Frubusher" |
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| Title: Re: Are all men bullies? |
06 Oct 2006 10:38:31 AM |
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Yes, in the same way that all women are prostitutes.
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