| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"" |
| Date: |
11 May 2006 03:34:26 PM |
| Object: |
becoming more unconvenional |
I wonder about what are some ways to become more unconventional...
It seems that often we are uncomfortable with people who remind us of
parts of ourselves that we are uncomfortable with... One thing I've
realized is that I get very angry sometimes at people who seem
"conventional", "traditional", "old fashioned" because I'me very
uncomfortable with all the parts of myself are conventional,
traditional, old fashioned... I guess an important thing to work on is
being more unconventional, finding ways to do that, but balancing it
with some sense of structure... it's seems that it's easier to function
in some ways, if you have a sense of structure...
-"jordie"
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| User: "Gerrit Vicin" |
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| Title: Re: becoming more unconvenional |
11 May 2006 05:09:50 PM |
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Or you try to not mind being a bit "conventional", "traditional" and
"old fashioned". All three can be as much likable as disagreeable.
Icnh@hotmail.com wrote:
I wonder about what are some ways to become more unconventional...
It seems that often we are uncomfortable with people who remind us of
parts of ourselves that we are uncomfortable with... One thing I've
realized is that I get very angry sometimes at people who seem
"conventional", "traditional", "old fashioned" because I'me very
uncomfortable with all the parts of myself are conventional,
traditional, old fashioned... I guess an important thing to work on is
being more unconventional, finding ways to do that, but balancing it
with some sense of structure... it's seems that it's easier to function
in some ways, if you have a sense of structure...
-"jordie"
.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: becoming more unconvenional |
11 May 2006 05:18:41 PM |
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Gerrit Vicin wrote:
Or you try to not mind being a bit "conventional", "traditional" and
"old fashioned". All three can be as much likable as disagreeable.
I guess finding a sense of balance is a good idea... it's tough to
find that balance though...
Icnh@hotmail.com wrote:
I wonder about what are some ways to become more unconventional...
It seems that often we are uncomfortable with people who remind us of
parts of ourselves that we are uncomfortable with... One thing I've
realized is that I get very angry sometimes at people who seem
"conventional", "traditional", "old fashioned" because I'm very
uncomfortable with all the parts of myself that are conventional,
traditional, old fashioned... I guess an important thing to work on is
being more unconventional, finding ways to do that, but balancing it
with some sense of structure... it's seems that it's easier to function
in some ways, if you have a sense of structure...
-"jordie"
.
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| User: "Janithor" |
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| Title: Re: becoming more unconvenional |
12 May 2006 01:15:05 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
Icnh@hotmail.com wrote:
I wonder about what are some ways to become more unconventional...
It seems that often we are uncomfortable with people who remind us of
parts of ourselves that we are uncomfortable with... One thing I've
realized is that I get very angry sometimes at people who seem
"conventional", "traditional", "old fashioned" because I'me very
uncomfortable with all the parts of myself are conventional,
traditional, old fashioned... I guess an important thing to work on is
being more unconventional, finding ways to do that, but balancing it
with some sense of structure... it's seems that it's easier to function
in some ways, if you have a sense of structure...
-"jordie"
How about finding ways to accept and appreciate who you are? Why do you
have to change? I'm a boring dorky guy, once I fully understood and
accepted it, now I have no stress trying to be someone I'm not. My life
is much better now than it was back then.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: becoming more unconvenional |
12 May 2006 12:09:32 PM |
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Janithor wrote:
x-no-archive: yes
Icnh@hotmail.com wrote:
I wonder about what are some ways to become more unconventional...
It seems that often we are uncomfortable with people who remind us of
parts of ourselves that we are uncomfortable with... One thing I've
realized is that I get very angry sometimes at people who seem
"conventional", "traditional", "old fashioned" because I'me very
uncomfortable with all the parts of myself are conventional,
traditional, old fashioned... I guess an important thing to work on is
being more unconventional, finding ways to do that, but balancing it
with some sense of structure... it's seems that it's easier to function
in some ways, if you have a sense of structure...
-"jordie"
How about finding ways to accept and appreciate who you are? Why do you
have to change? I'm a boring dorky guy, once I fully understood and
accepted it, now I have no stress trying to be someone I'm not. My life
is much better now than it was back then.
yeah, that's always been a real challenge for me... self esteem
is something I've always struggled with... I think in many ways, low
self esteem and depression go together... not always, but proably a lot
of the time... we see many things about ourselves that we are
uncomfortable with, and it's so easy to get angry at the people who we
see the same qualities in... but yes, I guess the key to that is
raising your self esteem, which is hard to do, I think...
-"jordie"
-"jordie"
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| User: "Janithor" |
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| Title: Re: becoming more unconvenional |
12 May 2006 01:55:49 PM |
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x-no-archive: yes
Icnh@hotmail.com wrote:
yeah, that's always been a real challenge for me... self esteem
is something I've always struggled with... I think in many ways, low
self esteem and depression go together... not always, but proably a lot
of the time... we see many things about ourselves that we are
uncomfortable with, and it's so easy to get angry at the people who we
see the same qualities in... but yes, I guess the key to that is
raising your self esteem, which is hard to do, I think...
-"jordie"
If you're getting angry at yourself for certain qualities that are not
necessarily harmful or bad, but just make YOU feel uncomfortable about
yourself, to me, that's a big sign that something is going on. In other
words, the problem is not necessarily the qualities themselves, but why
you are getting so angry over them.
For example, wombn twiddles her thumbs nervously every now and then. I
pointed this out to her once. Not a big deal. But it upset her,
because that's what her grandfather used to do. Any part of her that is
similar to her grandfather upsets her. So, the problem is not the thumb
twiddling, the problems is that the guy who molested her for 9 years had
the same habit, and that's likely where she picked it up. So she
doesn't necessarily have to stop twiddling her thumbs, but rather deal
with the issue of the molestaton and all the associations with it that
bring back that pain and awful memory.
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