| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Untouchable" |
| Date: |
05 Dec 2005 01:12:46 PM |
| Object: |
Blowing my own trumpet... |
Hi, I used to frequent here many years ago or at least a newsgroup like it.
When I was just leaving my teens.
Now I'm 25 & back here - not really a good sign I guess :(
I'm just gonna ramble on. I know it sounds so spiteful. I believe problems
are relative and that there is no measure of how 'bad' someone's problems
are and how they 'should' affect them. I would like to believe I've always
tried to help or at least listen. Now I want someone to do the same. But I
won't go to my friends so I'll come here and vent into a faceless, anonymous
newsgroup - strange its probably the people who I'll never meet here that
are the best people.
I know what's triggered the latest bout of feeling down like this - but is
it the same for everyone else? What I mean is whenever I'm sad It always
seems to link back to other events in my life. Is it just me?
I was diagnosed with two arachnoid cysts in my head & for the better part of
this year I've been feeling the symptoms of these, its got real bad over the
past two weeks - so I'm attributing some of my emotions to this. But it
isn't these that are really getting me down, in fact I see these as a
blessing at times hoping that they'll or the surgery will finish me off.
What has lead me to feeling like this...I've got a whole list of 'reasons'
as I suppose everyone has. God sometimes I think I'm so far up my own arse
it's untrue!
I just messed up a lot of things and I never seem to learn...I got my
girlfriend pregnant at the end of High School, we had a beautiful daughter
but shortly after birth she died, then the following year my girlfriend took
her own life. God knows how she must of been feeling to do that. I've
resisted all relationships for many years then my best friend said she had
feelings for me, she had a boyfriend so I told her no. Then she broke up
with her boyfriend and swore to me for six days that what she was feeling
was true, and that she would go through everything with me..suffice to say
she ended up back with her boyfriend. I've kept everything a secret for her,
even going back to being her best friend. I know I shouldn't have let her do
that to me, but better one person sad than two I guess. Why do people
promise to be there for you, then not be there?
Listen to me, moping about feeling this way...I'm so stupid. Gotta get
things in perspective.
.
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| User: "electro" |
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| Title: Re: Blowing my own trumpet... |
05 Dec 2005 08:13:31 PM |
|
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"Untouchable" <clarkjkent@*spamguard*hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Oi0lf.17454$Yo5.10928@fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
Hi, I used to frequent here many years ago or at least a newsgroup like
it.
When I was just leaving my teens.
Now I'm 25 & back here - not really a good sign I guess :(
I'm just gonna ramble on. I know it sounds so spiteful. I believe problems
are relative and that there is no measure of how 'bad' someone's problems
are and how they 'should' affect them. I would like to believe I've always
tried to help or at least listen. Now I want someone to do the same. But I
won't go to my friends so I'll come here and vent into a faceless,
anonymous
newsgroup - strange its probably the people who I'll never meet here that
are the best people.
I know what's triggered the latest bout of feeling down like this - but is
it the same for everyone else? What I mean is whenever I'm sad It always
seems to link back to other events in my life. Is it just me?
I was diagnosed with two arachnoid cysts in my head & for the better part
of
this year I've been feeling the symptoms of these, its got real bad over
the
past two weeks - so I'm attributing some of my emotions to this. But it
isn't these that are really getting me down, in fact I see these as a
blessing at times hoping that they'll or the surgery will finish me off.
What has lead me to feeling like this...I've got a whole list of 'reasons'
as I suppose everyone has. God sometimes I think I'm so far up my own arse
it's untrue!
I just messed up a lot of things and I never seem to learn...I got my
girlfriend pregnant at the end of High School, we had a beautiful daughter
but shortly after birth she died, then the following year my girlfriend
took
her own life. God knows how she must of been feeling to do that.
That sounds really hard. I can't imagine the grief you must have gone
through.. ..and what strength it would take to overcome.
I've
resisted all relationships for many years then my best friend said she had
feelings for me, she had a boyfriend so I told her no. Then she broke up
with her boyfriend and swore to me for six days that what she was feeling
was true, and that she would go through everything with me..suffice to say
she ended up back with her boyfriend. I've kept everything a secret for
her,
even going back to being her best friend. I know I shouldn't have let her
do
that to me, but better one person sad than two I guess. Why do people
promise to be there for you, then not be there?
Listen to me, moping about feeling this way...I'm so stupid. Gotta get
things in perspective.
I don't think there are many who wouldn't "mope" given this situation. Is
she still there for you as a friend? Is it possible that you
unintentionally sabotaged the relationship, because you weren't ready, or
scared to love again? (I'm not sure, just wondering if that could be a part
of it - because you sounded really resistant to begin with). Maybe you
needed her friendship more?
Anyway.. ..I hope you can keep moving forward. ....my heart goes out to you.
Ty
.
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| User: "Contrarian" |
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| Title: Re: Blowing my own trumpet... |
05 Dec 2005 11:26:02 PM |
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Wanted to let you (the OP) know I'd read this.
If you didn't feel pain/grief at times, I'd
wonder more about you, after so many events
after which it is to be expected. Talking it
out can help. You're always welcome here.
.
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| User: "Luna" |
|
| Title: Re: Blowing my own trumpet... |
05 Dec 2005 01:13:21 PM |
|
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"Untouchable" <clarkjkent@*spamguard*hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Oi0lf.17454$Yo5.10928@fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
Hi, I used to frequent here many years ago or at least a newsgroup like
it.
When I was just leaving my teens.
Now I'm 25 & back here - not really a good sign I guess :(
I'm just gonna ramble on. I know it sounds so spiteful. I believe problems
are relative and that there is no measure of how 'bad' someone's problems
are and how they 'should' affect them. I would like to believe I've always
tried to help or at least listen. Now I want someone to do the same. But I
won't go to my friends so I'll come here and vent into a faceless,
anonymous
newsgroup - strange its probably the people who I'll never meet here that
are the best people.
I know what's triggered the latest bout of feeling down like this - but is
it the same for everyone else? What I mean is whenever I'm sad It always
seems to link back to other events in my life. Is it just me?
I was diagnosed with two arachnoid cysts in my head & for the better part
of
this year I've been feeling the symptoms of these, its got real bad over
the
past two weeks - so I'm attributing some of my emotions to this. But it
isn't these that are really getting me down, in fact I see these as a
blessing at times hoping that they'll or the surgery will finish me off.
What has lead me to feeling like this...I've got a whole list of 'reasons'
as I suppose everyone has. God sometimes I think I'm so far up my own arse
it's untrue!
I just messed up a lot of things and I never seem to learn...I got my
girlfriend pregnant at the end of High School, we had a beautiful daughter
but shortly after birth she died, then the following year my girlfriend
took
her own life. God knows how she must of been feeling to do that. I've
resisted all relationships for many years then my best friend said she had
feelings for me, she had a boyfriend so I told her no. Then she broke up
with her boyfriend and swore to me for six days that what she was feeling
was true, and that she would go through everything with me..suffice to say
she ended up back with her boyfriend. I've kept everything a secret for
her,
even going back to being her best friend. I know I shouldn't have let her
do
that to me, but better one person sad than two I guess. Why do people
promise to be there for you, then not be there?
I was just talking to a dear friend about this, I think it's because they
aren't honest with themselves, they wish to take the leap but then they
change their minds, the pull of the familiar is too strong to take the leap
into changing directions. It's very touch on the people left in that kind
of wake and it can be very hard to predict. I don't think it's that people
are liars, they just use $100. words to express $1. emotions.
You sound like a thoughtful decent person who's been through a lot. Good
luck to you.
Jean
Listen to me, moping about feeling this way...I'm so stupid. Gotta get
things in perspective.
.
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| User: "Whiskers" |
|
| Title: Re: Blowing my own trumpet... |
06 Dec 2005 12:24:43 PM |
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On 2005-12-05, Untouchable <clarkjkent@*spamguard*hotmail.com> wrote:
snip
Listen to me, moping about feeling this way...I'm so stupid. Gotta get
things in perspective.
Tricky.
Welcome to ASD :))
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^
-- Whiskers
-- ~~~~~~~~~~
.
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| User: "cal" |
|
| Title: Re: Blowing my own trumpet... |
05 Dec 2005 09:44:18 PM |
|
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Untouchable wrote:
I just messed up a lot of things and I never seem to learn...I got my
girlfriend pregnant at the end of High School, we had a beautiful daughter
but shortly after birth she died, then the following year my girlfriend took
her own life. God knows how she must of been feeling to do that. I've
resisted all relationships for many years then my best friend said she had
feelings for me, she had a boyfriend so I told her no. Then she broke up
with her boyfriend and swore to me for six days that what she was feeling
was true, and that she would go through everything with me..suffice to say
she ended up back with her boyfriend. I've kept everything a secret for her,
even going back to being her best friend. I know I shouldn't have let her do
that to me, but better one person sad than two I guess. Why do people
promise to be there for you, then not be there?
maybe because at first they see a relationship forming around that, and
then they realize there can't be one with an arrangement that lopsided.
going from friendship to relationship has got to be about a lot more
than your need to be rescued, and i'm not hearing a thing about what
may be in it for her. do you even love her, or is it just the thought
of getting all that committed, unconditional emotional support from a
great person like her that appeals?
.
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| User: "Luna" |
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| Title: Re: Blowing my own trumpet... |
05 Dec 2005 09:36:26 PM |
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"cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1133840658.507540.165070@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Untouchable wrote:
I just messed up a lot of things and I never seem to learn...I got my
girlfriend pregnant at the end of High School, we had a beautiful
daughter
but shortly after birth she died, then the following year my girlfriend
took
her own life. God knows how she must of been feeling to do that. I've
resisted all relationships for many years then my best friend said she
had
feelings for me, she had a boyfriend so I told her no. Then she broke up
with her boyfriend and swore to me for six days that what she was
feeling
was true, and that she would go through everything with me..suffice to
say
she ended up back with her boyfriend. I've kept everything a secret for
her,
even going back to being her best friend. I know I shouldn't have let
her do
that to me, but better one person sad than two I guess. Why do people
promise to be there for you, then not be there?
maybe because at first they see a relationship forming around that, and
then they realize there can't be one with an arrangement that lopsided.
going from friendship to relationship has got to be about a lot more
than your need to be rescued, and i'm not hearing a thing about what
may be in it for her. do you even love her, or is it just the thought
of getting all that committed, unconditional emotional support from a
great person like her that appeals?
Hi there, cal.
Jean
.
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| User: "cal" |
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| Title: Re: Blowing my own trumpet... |
05 Dec 2005 10:10:36 PM |
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Luna wrote:
Hi there, cal.
hi jean. i'm new here.
.
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| User: "Luna" |
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| Title: Re: Blowing my own trumpet... |
06 Dec 2005 06:36:12 AM |
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"cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1133842236.065675.257310@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Luna wrote:
Hi there, cal.
hi jean. i'm new here.
I'll send you the cast of characters so you can fit right in.
Jean
[it's the time of year where the word crash shows up a lot - be prepared]
.
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: Blowing my own trumpet... |
06 Dec 2005 11:25:02 AM |
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"cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1133842236.065675.257310@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Luna wrote:
Hi there, cal.
hi jean. i'm new here.
Welcome :) I think we spoke briefly on one other topic a while back. Nice
to see a new face.
--
Rhiannon
rhianon@sympatico.ca
The Labyrinth
http://thelabyrinthofr.blogspot.com
.
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: Blowing my own trumpet... |
06 Dec 2005 11:24:07 AM |
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"cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1133840658.507540.165070@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
Untouchable wrote:
I just messed up a lot of things and I never seem to learn...I got my
girlfriend pregnant at the end of High School, we had a beautiful
daughter
but shortly after birth she died, then the following year my girlfriend
took
her own life. God knows how she must of been feeling to do that. I've
resisted all relationships for many years then my best friend said she
had
feelings for me, she had a boyfriend so I told her no. Then she broke up
with her boyfriend and swore to me for six days that what she was
feeling
was true, and that she would go through everything with me..suffice to
say
she ended up back with her boyfriend. I've kept everything a secret for
her,
even going back to being her best friend. I know I shouldn't have let
her do
that to me, but better one person sad than two I guess. Why do people
promise to be there for you, then not be there?
maybe because at first they see a relationship forming around that, and
then they realize there can't be one with an arrangement that lopsided.
going from friendship to relationship has got to be about a lot more
than your need to be rescued, and i'm not hearing a thing about what
may be in it for her. do you even love her, or is it just the thought
of getting all that committed, unconditional emotional support from a
great person like her that appeals?
Now this is clever. When did you look at my life without me noticing?
--
Rhiannon
rhianon@sympatico.ca
The Labyrinth
http://thelabyrinthofr.blogspot.com
.
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