| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Mike" |
| Date: |
28 May 2007 10:04:18 PM |
| Object: |
Brooding and Preoccupation |
Brooding, Preoccupation and Obsessive Worrying are of course a key aspect of
depression. In "Finding a Way: a Realist's Introduction to Self-help
Therapy"
www.Amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0946551138/sunflowerheal-21
there is a chapter on "Worry, Guilt & Relaxation" and it gives some helpful
tips to control brooding negative, self-destructive patterns of unhelpful
worrying...
First we must consider the pros and cons of worrying..
Useful worry
=========
* Reviewing the past - what has happened - and learning from it
* Planning & Rehearsing the future and thereby being more effective when
the time comes
* Is balanced (in terms of attention, time and energy) against the needs of
the present moment, including our health, wellbeing & relationship needs
* Non-worriers tend to be over-impulsive or emotionally driven - "Look
before you leap" can save lives, jobs, happiness and relationships
Useless worry
==========
* Does not improve our performance in the future, may even worsen it with
over-planning, over-controlling, reduced flexibility, "blinkered" vision"
(fear of the past repeating itself), maybe even approaching the future in a
high anxiety or "already worn-out" state.
* Impairs our attention and functioning in the present
* Can be a substitute for, or distraction from, taking the actual ACTIONS
that will make things happen and enhance our life - The Universe Rewards
Action! - it does not reward WORRY!
* Over time damages our health, happiness and relationships. Stress,
tension, cardiovascular problems, dysfunctional immune system (under-active
or over-active) and depression can all stem from a habit of excessive
worrying.
* Leads to addictive, self-harmful behaviours, obsessions and cravings -
e.g. comfort eating and/or smoking, alcohol or taking recreational drugs to
relax.
How to Minimise Useless Worry
======================
1. Accept that there is no such thing as "perfect preparation" or a "perfect
answer"
2. Accept that the future can never be fully controlled - life is a risk and
an experiment, full of a myriad variables
3. Accept that much of our worry reflects basic and often deeper insecurity
issues that we are not addressing
4. LOOK HONESTLY AT THE ILLUSORY PAYOFFS that make useless worry a
compulsive habit...
* worry as a way of avoiding action
* worry as a way of "sucking in" the attention of other people
* worry as an "exchange token" for co-dependent relationships "Sharing our
worries is [the main thing?] what keeps us together"
* worry as a dishonest and dysfunctional way of proving that we care! A
poor substitute for telling people how much we value them, need them, have
difficulty coping with life, or desperately need a certain outcome
* pride, self-righteousness, self-image ("I know what should be worried
about")
* controlling others by giving them our worries
* blocking or minimising others by "giving them something to worry about"
5. Interrupt our train of worry with breathwork techniques, physical
exercise, change of environment, better communication, getting help, support
or advice, etc. etc.
6. Repeating the affirmation: "1 day at a time - 1 step at a time!"
7. Become more aware of where reality ends and "scary fantasies" begin. Get
other opinions, or "let go, until you are more relaxed" in order to get a
better perspective on things.
Find it hard to let go? Then visit: www.lovehealth.org/books/letgo.htm
8. Decisions cannot be made without adequate facts - obtain them or defer
deciding
9. Ask yourself "What am I avoiding by doing all this worrying?"
10. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed, but realise that some
of the very worrying things in our past and present can in fact be changed,
not by worrying but by things like apologising, seeking to understand,
forgiveness, making amends etc.
Depression, Burnout & Chronic Fatigue
===========================
The author of "Finding a Way", Alex Howard, comes from a background of
having suffered ME (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). He had been a normal, happy
teenager until just before his sixteenth birthday when he began to
experience strange, unexplained physical symptoms. After spending two years
bed-bound and developing clinical depression, Alex committed himself to
finding a cure and returning himself to health and happiness - an
"...amazing journey that will challenge your most basic assumptions about
life". He has written of this journey in another book:
"Why Me? My Journey from M.E. to Health and Happiness"
www.Amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1901447170/sunflowerheal-21
I presume that "Me" here is a play on "M.E." the abbreviation for "myalgic
encephalomyelitis".
Mike
www.stress-counselling.co.uk
.
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| User: "RGB" |
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| Title: Re: Brooding and Preoccupation |
28 May 2007 11:24:56 PM |
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The power and obnoxious odor of 12 Step horseshit is in the air.
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