| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"alvintchase" |
| Date: |
27 Sep 2004 02:57:34 PM |
| Object: |
brother's should get along |
My dad and one of his brother's don't get along,maybe never
will...over ridiculous money issues.(My uncle is acting really crazy
in regard to this situation)It's very sad...
.
|
|
| User: "epicphart" |
|
| Title: Re: brother's should get along |
27 Sep 2004 09:28:27 PM |
|
|
alvintchase wrote:
My dad and one of his brother's don't get along,maybe never
will...over ridiculous money issues.(My uncle is acting really crazy
in regard to this situation)It's very sad...
i agree, but some things just get in the way..
my relationship with my bro ended only weeks ago.. we were kinda close
in a way. all i can say is, we cant and dont/ or wont see eye to eye
anymore...
.
|
|
|
| User: "BGumm" |
|
| Title: Re: brother's should get along |
28 Sep 2004 09:43:01 AM |
|
|
I never had siblings (I am adopted and they were all adopted out---don't know
where they are----have two half sisters. I met the one---she didn't want
involved and talked to the other after my search led me to my birthmother and
her---she didn't want anything to do with me---I was a bad secret)-----BUT I
always wanted some---always wanted family. It is never going to happen for me.
I could never understand bros/sisters that let things get in the way and become
estranged from each others lives.
I have tried to raise my kids to want to keep in contact but who knows what
will happen when I pass away. Maybe they will get closer?
I look at my husband and how he DOESN'T interact with his family of
bros/sisters either.
They simply don't get along. We go to family things but we are always on the
outside of everything.
My husband does not call them or visit them. (he has three brothers and two
sisters)
I always found it sad. He has what I have always wanted---FAMILY yet because
they can't seem to get along no one bothers with him.
<sigh>
They should get along but they don't and it causes rifts that just don't mend.
<sigh>
Becky
"I have seen the sea when it is stormy and wild;
when it is quiet and serene; when it is dark and
moody. And in all its moods, I see myself."
-Martin Buxbaum
.
|
|
|
| User: "alvintchase" |
|
| Title: Re: brother's should get along |
28 Sep 2004 01:45:15 PM |
|
|
(BGumm) wrote in message news:<20040928104301.13201.00001272@mb-m11.aol.com>...
I never had siblings (I am adopted and they were all adopted out---don't know
where they are----have two half sisters. I met the one---she didn't want
involved and talked to the other after my search led me to my birthmother and
her---she didn't want anything to do with me---I was a bad secret)-----BUT I
always wanted some---always wanted family. It is never going to happen for me.
I could never understand bros/sisters that let things get in the way and become
estranged from each others lives.
I have tried to raise my kids to want to keep in contact but who knows what
will happen when I pass away. Maybe they will get closer?
I look at my husband and how he DOESN'T interact with his family of
bros/sisters either.
They simply don't get along. We go to family things but we are always on the
outside of everything.
My husband does not call them or visit them. (he has three brothers and two
sisters)
I always found it sad. He has what I have always wanted---FAMILY yet because
they can't seem to get along no one bothers with him.
<sigh>
They should get along but they don't and it causes rifts that just don't mend.
<sigh>
Becky
I agree completly Becky,it's very sad,people who could be missing
out on what could be a close(or at least closer) relationship...
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "" |
|
| Title: Re: brother's should get along |
28 Sep 2004 10:58:36 AM |
|
|
On 28 Sep 2004 14:43:01 GMT, (BGumm) wrote:
->I never had siblings (I am adopted and they were all adopted out---don't know
->where they are----have two half sisters. I met the one---she didn't want
->involved and talked to the other after my search led me to my birthmother and
->her---she didn't want anything to do with me---I was a bad secret)-----BUT I
->always wanted some---always wanted family. It is never going to happen for me.
->
->I could never understand bros/sisters that let things get in the way and become
->estranged from each others lives.
Usually, when siblings become estranged, it's because the
relationships are too toxic. I've seen some cases where estrangements
are healed due to old misunderstandings that are corrected.
->I have tried to raise my kids to want to keep in contact but who knows what
->will happen when I pass away. Maybe they will get closer?
->
->I look at my husband and how he DOESN'T interact with his family of
->bros/sisters either.
->
->They simply don't get along. We go to family things but we are always on the
->outside of everything.
->
->My husband does not call them or visit them. (he has three brothers and two
->sisters)
I have an unlisted phone number specifically so my sisters won't find
it. We live in three different states.
->I always found it sad. He has what I have always wanted---FAMILY yet because
->they can't seem to get along no one bothers with him.
->
-><sigh>
->
->They should get along but they don't and it causes rifts that just don't mend.
->
-><sigh>
I have two (half) sisters. They cannot tolerate me for being POOR and
mentally ill. IMO, they're in massive denial about their own
personality problems stemming from an abusive upbringing. It's not an
unusual result. Usually, abused siblings either bond together to save
one another or become self-absorbed in their efforts to escape. Our
situation was the latter. When our mother died, we had nothing to say
to each other anymore.
My sisters have far more hostility toward each other than they have
toward me. I never figured out why. They're only three years apart
and were seriously "wanted". I was a huge mistake, as I learned in
adulthood, and came to understand why I was alienated.
OTOH, your expression reminds me of conversations with my ex. He was
also adopted as an only child. He regretted constantly that he did
not have brothers or sisters. He described a childhood of desperate
loneliness. Even though he had plenty of exposure to my sisters and
saw how selfish they are, he never understood why I walked away from
them.
Guess I'm trying to say both situations are equally as painful, in
different ways. There's a constant ache, a huge piece of life
missing, for those of us who do not have what most people are born
into.
.
|
|
|
| User: "BGumm" |
|
| Title: Re: brother's should get along |
28 Sep 2004 10:23:23 PM |
|
|
On 28 Sep 2004 14:43:01 GMT, (BGumm) wrote:
->I never had siblings (I am adopted and they were all adopted out---don't know
->where they are----have two half sisters. I met the one---she didn't want
->involved and talked to the other after my search led me to my birthmother and
->her---she didn't want anything to do with me---I was a bad secret)-----BUT I
->always wanted some---always wanted family. It is never going to happen for
me.
->
->I could never understand bros/sisters that let things get in the way and
become
->estranged from each others lives.
Usually, when siblings become estranged, it's because the
relationships are too toxic. I've seen some cases where estrangements
are healed due to old misunderstandings that are corrected.
->I have tried to raise my kids to want to keep in contact but who knows what
->will happen when I pass away. Maybe they will get closer?
->
->I look at my husband and how he DOESN'T interact with his family of
->bros/sisters either.
->
->They simply don't get along. We go to family things but we are always on the
->outside of everything.
->
->My husband does not call them or visit them. (he has three brothers and two
->sisters)
I have an unlisted phone number specifically so my sisters won't find
it. We live in three different states.
->I always found it sad. He has what I have always wanted---FAMILY yet because
->they can't seem to get along no one bothers with him.
->
-><sigh>
->
->They should get along but they don't and it causes rifts that just don't
mend.
->
-><sigh>
I have two (half) sisters. They cannot tolerate me for being POOR and
mentally ill. IMO, they're in massive denial about their own
personality problems stemming from an abusive upbringing. It's not an
unusual result. Usually, abused siblings either bond together to save
one another or become self-absorbed in their efforts to escape. Our
situation was the latter. When our mother died, we had nothing to say
to each other anymore.
My sisters have far more hostility toward each other than they have
toward me. I never figured out why. They're only three years apart
and were seriously "wanted". I was a huge mistake, as I learned in
adulthood, and came to understand why I was alienated.
OTOH, your expression reminds me of conversations with my ex. He was
also adopted as an only child. He regretted constantly that he did
not have brothers or sisters. He described a childhood of desperate
loneliness. Even though he had plenty of exposure to my sisters and
saw how selfish they are, he never understood why I walked away from
them.
Guess I'm trying to say both situations are equally as painful, in
different ways. There's a constant ache, a huge piece of life
missing, for those of us who do not have what most people are born
into.
------------------------------
I understand what you are talking about---toxic relationships. My husband has
that with his siblings too.
For an adoptee that was all alone in a house with abusive parents all I ever
wanted was to have someone with me---NOT to share in the abuse but to be there
with me, for me and to see me.
I am so sorry that you have this type of situation. It has to be very painful
and probably at times bewildering.
I guess we are both alike in those emotions.
Becky
"I have seen the sea when it is stormy and wild;
when it is quiet and serene; when it is dark and
moody. And in all its moods, I see myself."
-Martin Buxbaum
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "alvintchase" |
|
| Title: Re: brother's should get along |
28 Sep 2004 01:42:18 PM |
|
|
epicphart <nahhhYouDontWantIt@nahh.net> wrote in message news:<4158CC4B.9070902@nahh.net>...
alvintchase wrote:
My dad and one of his brother's don't get along,maybe never
will...over ridiculous money issues.(My uncle is acting really crazy
in regard to this situation)It's very sad...
i agree, but some things just get in the way..
my relationship with my bro ended only weeks ago.. we were kinda close
in a way. all i can say is, we cant and dont/ or wont see eye to eye
anymore...
I'm sorry to hear that.I hope your relationship improves at some
point.I know it happenes,but I just find it very sad when siblings
don't get along...My grampa always said,it must have been a million
times,that the most important thing is family,to try to get along with
them as much as you can...My dad has been really hurt by my uncle's
behavior.I just find his behavior really,really sad...
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
|
|
