thanks for answering my mail>

"GlennT" <trucage@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
news:1164171095.845848.33330@f16g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...

Thanks Rhi. I have been about a lot more lately but just lurking. I
used to sit and work my way through most of the posts each day but that
time luxury is gone now. It just feels odd to reply out of the blue so
I tend to wait till I have something I want to say then post that.

I just gave a student a retest because he would fail the year without
passing this assessment. He failed to show up to the original test and
failed to show to a rescheduled test. This is automatic failure but I
am always bending the rules because I can. One of my colleagues said I
was mad to be so soft but I knew the boy could do it and he has a lot
of talent it's just that he is very undisciplined. I think the fact
that I let him retest was a good thing but that is not the way the
system works.

That seems to be where I get the most pressure from my colleagues. I
haven't learnt to set boundaries but a big part of me doesn't want to
learn that. I have no problem failing students who are too stupid to
pass but I just can't fail the ones that don't fit in to school rules.
I never did and I did okay.

This is where I would have difficulty. I understand the concept. Lessons
in discipline and following rules and being responsible and equal

for all students are important life lessons in a world where as young

they must conform to some degree or chaos ensues, but hardening my heart

do it is another matter entirely. OTOH the boy may be smart and capable

perhaps it is just as important to *care* enough about his own education

well as your time to have shown up for the rescheduled test. Our

shape who we become and I think I might do more harm than good by bending
the rules.

I can say this because I have a very undisciplined 21 year old son on my
hands. He's what Luna calls a "struggler". Struggling his way through

destined to learn all his lessons the hard way. I recognized this in him

a very early age and because I am exactly the same, I made allowances and
adjustments for him to accomodate his unique personality that I was never
lucky enough to receive, but always wished I had. I think now, it might
have been a mistake and had I done things differently he wouldn't be
battling as hard as he is to "find" himself. His expectations in this

what you kill world" are often unrealistic and he has become his own worst
enemy. My boy is very smart, more than capable, highly creative and
talented, and all round "nice" guy. I really like him. If he weren't

he would still be someone I would want to know. I don't doubt he can
accomplish anything he sets his mind to, and although he has begun to see
the light, and he now has a concrete plan of action on the table, he still
has a ways to go. I can't help but wonder if I didn't make things worse

him instead of better which was always my only intention. Who knows for
sure? Maybe not, but it inspires a lot of guilt in me nonetheless.

I am getting a promotion next year to head of editing so I guess that
means I'm getting the work done. They are also sending me to a
conference in Singapore to represent our school. These are all positive
indicators that my work is appreciated but I know my health is starting
to suffer with the workload. Not in a major way but just around the
edges. I am constantly tired and getting headaches etc.

Now that's exciting! Well done. Just keep a close eye on that health
around the edges. I know you know from experience just how easily it can
tip the balance at your expense.

I could always go back to conventional editing if this doesn't work out
so I guess I have an escape route if I need it. If only I wasn't so
damn stubborn about doing things MY way!

Thanks for listening.

Funny eh? How psychologically reassuring an escape route can be even when
you know you're not likely to use it. Hey, doing things *your* way isn't
always stubborn. Sometimes it's just right. :-)

--
Rhi

"GlennT" <trucage@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
news:1164171095.845848.33330@f16g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...

Thanks Rhi. I have been about a lot more lately but just lurking. I
used to sit and work my way through most of the posts each day but that
time luxury is gone now. It just feels odd to reply out of the blue so
I tend to wait till I have something I want to say then post that.

I just gave a student a retest because he would fail the year without
passing this assessment. He failed to show up to the original test and
failed to show to a rescheduled test. This is automatic failure but I
am always bending the rules because I can. One of my colleagues said I
was mad to be so soft but I knew the boy could do it and he has a lot
of talent it's just that he is very undisciplined. I think the fact
that I let him retest was a good thing but that is not the way the
system works.

That seems to be where I get the most pressure from my colleagues. I
haven't learnt to set boundaries but a big part of me doesn't want to
learn that. I have no problem failing students who are too stupid to
pass but I just can't fail the ones that don't fit in to school rules.
I never did and I did okay.

This is where I would have difficulty. I understand the concept. Lessons
in discipline and following rules and being responsible and equal treatment
for all students are important life lessons in a world where as young adults
they must conform to some degree or chaos ensues, but hardening my heart to
do it is another matter entirely. OTOH the boy may be smart and capable but
perhaps it is just as important to *care* enough about his own education as
well as your time to have shown up for the rescheduled test. Our attitudes
shape who we become and I think I might do more harm than good by bending
the rules.

I can say this because I have a very undisciplined 21 year old son on my
hands. He's what Luna calls a "struggler". Struggling his way through life
destined to learn all his lessons the hard way. I recognized this in him at
a very early age and because I am exactly the same, I made allowances and
adjustments for him to accomodate his unique personality that I was never
lucky enough to receive, but always wished I had. I think now, it might
have been a mistake and had I done things differently he wouldn't be
battling as hard as he is to "find" himself. His expectations in this "eat
what you kill world" are often unrealistic and he has become his own worst
enemy. My boy is very smart, more than capable, highly creative and
talented, and all round "nice" guy. I really like him. If he weren't mine
he would still be someone I would want to know. I don't doubt he can
accomplish anything he sets his mind to, and although he has begun to see
the light, and he now has a concrete plan of action on the table, he still
has a ways to go. I can't help but wonder if I didn't make things worse for
him instead of better which was always my only intention. Who knows for
sure? Maybe not, but it inspires a lot of guilt in me nonetheless.

I am getting a promotion next year to head of editing so I guess that
means I'm getting the work done. They are also sending me to a
conference in Singapore to represent our school. These are all positive
indicators that my work is appreciated but I know my health is starting
to suffer with the workload. Not in a major way but just around the
edges. I am constantly tired and getting headaches etc.

Now that's exciting! Well done. Just keep a close eye on that health
around the edges. I know you know from experience just how easily it can
tip the balance at your expense.

I could always go back to conventional editing if this doesn't work out
so I guess I have an escape route if I need it. If only I wasn't so
damn stubborn about doing things MY way!

Thanks for listening.

Funny eh? How psychologically reassuring an escape route can be even when
you know you're not likely to use it. Hey, doing things *your* way isn't
always stubborn. Sometimes it's just right. :-)

--
Rhi

It's good to see you post. You can, and will, do this.

Kirby