| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Noon Cat Nick" |
| Date: |
09 Nov 2007 09:25:34 PM |
| Object: |
Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
POINT
Cats Are Better Than Dogs
by Anita Kerwicki
I've always been a fan of felines. As far as pets go, you can't beat
them! I have three myself, and I couldn't adore them more. I don't care
what you say, cats are clearly better than dogs. I can't even list all
the reasons here, so I'll just stick with my favorites.
First of all, cats are about a thousand times easier to care for. You
don't have to walk them or bathe them because they're smart enough to
figure out all that stuff on their own (unlike some other domestic
mammals I don't care to mention). Plus, they have the common courtesy to
do their business in the litter box, instead of all over your house and
yard. Just one of the many reasons cats rule and dogs--quite
literally--drool.
Second, cats have all sorts of personality! Take my cat Smarty for
instance. He's a total ham, always jumping from lap to lap when company
comes, with a look on his face like, "Hey, everybody! Pay attention."
And when they don't, boy does he get pouty! Then there's Boopie, who's
more chilled out and kind of does his own thing. I won't even get into
Meatball, because he'd kill me if I ever wrote about him!
In comparison, every dog I've ever met is exactly the same: dumb, hyper,
and obsessed with chasing tennis balls. It's like they're not even
trying. Now I know all those dog people are going to argue with me on
this and try to tell me all dogs are unique, but frankly, I just haven't
seen it. Maybe someday I'll meet a dog with one-tenth the personality
your average cat has in his left hind paw, but I highly doubt it.
Ever seen a cat eat its own poop?
Not to mention, cats are so much more independent than dogs. They can
disappear for hours, having their own little adventures, and then pop up
again just when you least expect it. It's like running into a long-lost
friend on the street, but in your house! Meanwhile, those big, dumb
slobbery dogs just plod around after you whether you want them to or
not. They can't do anything for themselves. Unless it's eating your shoes!
Nope. You'll never convince me that dogs are superior to cats in any
way. So just stop trying.
I could go on all day about how great cats are. They don't make noise,
their breath doesn't stink, and they're adorable as kittens—but I don't
think that's necessary. Anyone with sense can see that they're simply
the better pet, hands down. So, in conclusion, I would like to say that,
no matter how good dogs are at catching Frisbees and swimming, they
simply can't compete with the world's best furry companion. The one, the
only, the cat.
COUNTERPOINT
Fine
by Dominic McMeel
Sure, whatever.
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| User: "the_dawggie" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
09 Nov 2007 10:06:18 PM |
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Noon Cat Nick wrote:
POINT
Cats Are Better Than Dogs
I don't agree with that but, moving right along ...
First of all, cats are about a thousand times easier to care for. You
don't have to walk them or bathe them because they're smart enough to
figure out all that stuff on their own (unlike some other domestic
mammals I don't care to mention). Plus, they have the common courtesy to
do their business in the litter box, instead of all over your house and
yard. Just one of the many reasons cats rule and dogs--quite
Not quite true. Dawgs do need to be washed, although.
literally--drool
Not all of them.
Second, cats have all sorts of personality! Take my cat Smarty for
instance. He's a total ham, always jumping from lap to lap when company
comes, with a look on his face like, "Hey, everybody! Pay attention."
And when they don't, boy does he get pouty! Then there's Boopie, who's
more chilled out and kind of does his own thing. I won't even get into
Meatball, because he'd kill me if I ever wrote about him!
Cats will only like you if you provide a food source, otherwise
they won't even come near you. Sure they will sit on your lap
and purr after you feed and pet them.
Dawgs are a different animal that has a sense of commitment,
{although this one has commitment disorder}
In comparison, every dog I've ever met is exactly the same: dumb, hyper,
and obsessed with chasing tennis balls. It's like they're not even
trying. Now I know all those dog people are going to argue with me on
this and try to tell me all dogs are unique, but frankly, I just haven't
seen it. Maybe someday I'll meet a dog with one-tenth the personality
your average cat has in his left hind paw, but I highly doubt it.
A cat is out for it's own interests, no one elses.
Ever seen a cat eat its own poop?
I've seen them eat some fecking ugly shite, rats, and
insects.
Not to mention, cats are so much more independent than dogs. They can
disappear for hours, having their own little adventures, and then pop up
again just when you least expect it. It's like running into a long-lost
friend on the street, but in your house! Meanwhile, those big, dumb
slobbery dogs just plod around after you whether you want them to or
not. They can't do anything for themselves. Unless it's eating your shoes!
Dawgs are more intelligent than cats, they develop interests in their
surroundings. Trying to trick you into leaving the gate open so they
can run off to the local Alpaca farm and chase them isn't a good
look, though.
Nope. You'll never convince me that dogs are superior to cats in any
way. So just stop trying.
Dawgs are.
I could go on all day about how great cats are. They don't make noise,
their breath doesn't stink, and they're adorable as kittens—but I don't
Err, every mammals breath does from time to time. Dawgs
actually are more mouth hygenic than humans.
think that's necessary. Anyone with sense can see that they're simply
the better pet, hands down. So, in conclusion, I would like to say that,
no matter how good dogs are at catching Frisbees and swimming, they
simply can't compete with the world's best furry companion. The one, the
only, the cat.
I don't dislike cats, they like me. They have a personality that is
very self centered, they are only in it for themselves.
Dawgs share their personality.
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| User: "the_dawggie" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
09 Nov 2007 10:13:19 PM |
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the_dawggie wrote:
Ever seen a cat eat its own poop?
Oh, and cats lick their own arseholes, that's not a
good look.
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| User: "Noon Cat Nick" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
09 Nov 2007 11:28:52 PM |
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the_dawggie wrote:
the_dawggie wrote:
Ever seen a cat eat its own poop?
Oh, and cats lick their own arseholes, that's not a
good look.
Remind me to explain the concept of humor to you sometime, dawggie.
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| User: "Luna" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
09 Nov 2007 11:50:13 PM |
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Noon Cat Nick wrote:
the_dawggie wrote:
the_dawggie wrote:
Ever seen a cat eat its own poop?
Oh, and cats lick their own arseholes, that's not a
good look.
Remind me to explain the concept of humor to you sometime, dawggie.
He's all about the "look".
Jean
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
09 Nov 2007 11:50:30 PM |
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"Luna" <lunajean@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:pEbZi.195995$th2.11122@pd7urf3no...
Noon Cat Nick wrote:
the_dawggie wrote:
the_dawggie wrote:
Ever seen a cat eat its own poop?
Oh, and cats lick their own arseholes, that's not a
good look.
Remind me to explain the concept of humor to you sometime, dawggie.
He's all about the "look".
Jean
let's , do it in there faces
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| User: "the_dawggie" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
10 Nov 2007 01:30:38 AM |
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Luna wrote:
Noon Cat Nick wrote:
the_dawggie wrote:
the_dawggie wrote:
Ever seen a cat eat its own poop?
Oh, and cats lick their own arseholes, that's not a
good look.
Remind me to explain the concept of humor to you sometime, dawggie.
He's all about the "look".
Actually, that is an interesting concept, the look
factor goes before the personality factor.
look, then personality - might be why why I've not
had a partner in the last 20 years.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
09 Nov 2007 11:28:37 PM |
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hi , i'm Luna , shut *****
ok , go
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| User: "Noon Cat Nick" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
09 Nov 2007 11:36:36 PM |
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% wrote:
hi , i'm Luna , shut *****
ok , go
Tippling tonight?
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
09 Nov 2007 11:41:21 PM |
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"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:ErbZi.193769$Fc.139099@attbi_s21...
% wrote:
hi , i'm Luna , shut *****
ok , go
Tippling tonight?
you win ,
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| User: "Luna" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
09 Nov 2007 11:53:47 PM |
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Noon Cat Nick wrote:
% wrote:
hi , i'm Luna , shut *****
ok , go
Tippling tonight?
I'm drunk on duck, califlower (with cheese sauce!) squash with cinnamon
and lemon pudding.
Oh, and the latest Annie Lennox with some oldies mixed in. Gotta love
Annie.
I am so smashed.
Jean
~my boss knows how to do dinner.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
09 Nov 2007 11:56:37 PM |
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"Luna" <lunajean@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:LHbZi.195999$th2.27988@pd7urf3no...
Noon Cat Nick wrote:
% wrote:
hi , i'm Luna , shut *****
ok , go
Tippling tonight?
I'm drunk on duck, califlower (with cheese sauce!) squash with
cinnamon
and lemon pudding.
Oh, and the latest Annie Lennox with some oldies mixed in. Gotta love
Annie.
I am so smashed.
Jean
~my boss knows how to do dinner.
there must be an angel , playin with my
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| User: "Noon Cat Nick" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
09 Nov 2007 11:59:13 PM |
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Luna wrote:
Noon Cat Nick wrote:
% wrote:
hi , i'm Luna , shut *****
ok , go
Tippling tonight?
I'm drunk on duck, califlower (with cheese sauce!) squash with cinnamon
and lemon pudding.
Oh, and the latest Annie Lennox with some oldies mixed in. Gotta love
Annie.
I am so smashed.
Must be like being on opiates.
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
10 Nov 2007 12:01:50 AM |
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"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:RMbZi.176606$Xa3.117947@attbi_s22...
Luna wrote:
Noon Cat Nick wrote:
% wrote:
hi , i'm Luna , shut *****
ok , go
Tippling tonight?
I'm drunk on duck, califlower (with cheese sauce!) squash with
cinnamon
and lemon pudding.
Oh, and the latest Annie Lennox with some oldies mixed in. Gotta
love
Annie.
I am so smashed.
Must be like being on opiates.
oxy ?
.
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| User: "elegy" |
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| Title: Re: Cats and Dogs: Point-Counterpoint (from _The Onion_) |
10 Nov 2007 03:01:07 PM |
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On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 03:25:34 GMT, Noon Cat Nick
<chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@hotmail.com> wrote:
POINT
Cats Are Better Than Dogs
awesome. i love the onion.
--
http://shattering.org
x-no-archive:yes in headers
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