In the 17 or so years since Betsy, my relationships have been
superficial and short-lived. I'm worried intimacy and the passion
above might be a thing of the past...we'll see.

Your sex threads made me think about past relationships. I've saved
all the letters and have been reading them for the past couple hours
and getting very emotional. Guys might want to skip to the next
thread:

Emily was my first real relationship. We started dating when I was 17
and she was 16. It lasted 2 years.

4/20/87
The happy times are always the best - Ramada Inn and me in the towel,
Jolly Roger hotel - 2 times - awesome, Comfort Suites - even better
all alone and spur of the moment! Schiffer's bedroom - how many
people came in - who turned on the lights? Andrew's closet, bed, etc.
Your bedroom, my house, living room floor, couch with my parents
downstairs, Lucy's bed ALL NIGHT!! And countless other experiences
but I think the most classic is Easter night in the forest on a bench
with all the stars and the moon - the most romantic and certainly the
most sensual - have either of us ever been so worked up? Everything I
do somehow reminds me of you.

6/30/87
One year ago on that crazy night at Adam's house two totally opposite
strangers kissed and started a wonderful, lasting relationship.
Somewhere along the line love became a strong emotion I felt. It
wasn't infatuation or serious attraction, it was something I had never
felt before, something that came from deep down and overwhelmed all of
me. I felt like a new person. All of my friends noticed and liked
the change in me. I began to feel like I had someone I could depend
on, and more importantly someone who could depend on me.

7/16/87
I miss kissing you, making love to you and just being with you. I
have a few surprises up my sleeve for you when I get back so be
excited!!

~~The breakup - she slept with Nick Pennimen and I think my best
friend Peter Medler when I was in the hospital with Mono. She's
married with 5 kids, two of her own and 3 her husband's from a
previous marriage. She lives right down the street.

Then there was Betsy. I've known her since third grade and our
birthdays are 1 day apart (1/13/69 for me, 1/14/69 for her). The
relationship lasted 2 and half years and was mostly long-distance with
me at Vandy in Nashville and her at Colorado University in Boulder.

8/24/88
I am going to be so bummed when I don't get to talk to you 2 times a
day although I did only get to talk to you once yesterday since you
were too drunk or stoned or whatever to remember.

9/1/88
What I feel for you is so strong and is the most wonderful feeling. I
know that I could never feel this way for anyone else but you. You
are absolutely the greatest Bobby and I love you so much.

8/22/89
God do I ever miss you and your smiling face. You are the best person
ever and the most important part of my life. I could never live
without you and all your support. You do so much for me and I think
I've gotten kind of spoiled because I sure couldn't live without you.

8/29/89
I always hate ending letters because I feel so close to you while I
write and I feel so out of contact with you when I end letters. You
could never imagine how much I love and miss you. I don't think I
have ever stopped thinking about you from the second we said goodbye.
You can never leave me Bobby, I could NEVER live without you.

8/31/89
Happy 8 month Anniversary! It's hard for me to show or tell you how
much you mean to me, because you mean so much, and these poems talk
about love in ways I could never think of. Every one of them is sent
from me to you, my far away honey, with all the love in my heart.

9/8/89
You are sound asleep right now and I wish so badly that I could be
asleep in your arms all cuddled up with you. Bobby, you could never
imagine how much I miss you and more than that, how much I love you.
Thanks for always being there and also for being the greatest and most
important part of my life.

I've got literally hundreds of letters from Betsy, she averaged about
1 every 2 days, usually at least 5 pages front and back.

~~The Breakup - She spent a semester abroad in Leysin, Switzerland. I
found a cheap flight and visited her over Thanksgiving. Things were
just different as she had this whole new life with new people and I
was such an outsider. I think we both realized a long-distance
college relationship wasn't allowing us to experience those special
years in full. She's divorced with a 4 year old girl Schuyler and
also lives just a few miles away. We still email and go out
occasionally, but no sparks of any kind...strange to think about how
close we once were.

In the 17 or so years since Betsy, my relationships have been
superficial and short-lived. I'm worried intimacy and the passion
above might be a thing of the past...we'll see.

Your sex threads made me think about past relationships. I've saved
all the letters and have been reading them for the past couple hours
and getting very emotional. Guys might want to skip to the next
thread:

Emily was my first real relationship. We started dating when I was 17
and she was 16. It lasted 2 years.

4/20/87
The happy times are always the best - Ramada Inn and me in the towel,
Jolly Roger hotel - 2 times - awesome, Comfort Suites - even better
all alone and spur of the moment! Schiffer's bedroom - how many
people came in - who turned on the lights? Andrew's closet, bed, etc.
Your bedroom, my house, living room floor, couch with my parents
downstairs, Lucy's bed ALL NIGHT!! And countless other experiences
but I think the most classic is Easter night in the forest on a bench
with all the stars and the moon - the most romantic and certainly the
most sensual - have either of us ever been so worked up? Everything I
do somehow reminds me of you.

6/30/87
One year ago on that crazy night at Adam's house two totally opposite
strangers kissed and started a wonderful, lasting relationship.
Somewhere along the line love became a strong emotion I felt. It
wasn't infatuation or serious attraction, it was something I had never
felt before, something that came from deep down and overwhelmed all of
me. I felt like a new person. All of my friends noticed and liked
the change in me. I began to feel like I had someone I could depend
on, and more importantly someone who could depend on me.

7/16/87
I miss kissing you, making love to you and just being with you. I
have a few surprises up my sleeve for you when I get back so be
excited!!

~~The breakup - she slept with Nick Pennimen and I think my best
friend Peter Medler when I was in the hospital with Mono. She's
married with 5 kids, two of her own and 3 her husband's from a
previous marriage. She lives right down the street.

Then there was Betsy. I've known her since third grade and our
birthdays are 1 day apart (1/13/69 for me, 1/14/69 for her). The
relationship lasted 2 and half years and was mostly long-distance with
me at Vandy in Nashville and her at Colorado University in Boulder.

8/24/88
I am going to be so bummed when I don't get to talk to you 2 times a
day although I did only get to talk to you once yesterday since you
were too drunk or stoned or whatever to remember.

9/1/88
What I feel for you is so strong and is the most wonderful feeling. I
know that I could never feel this way for anyone else but you. You
are absolutely the greatest Bobby and I love you so much.

8/22/89
God do I ever miss you and your smiling face. You are the best person
ever and the most important part of my life. I could never live
without you and all your support. You do so much for me and I think
I've gotten kind of spoiled because I sure couldn't live without you.

8/29/89
I always hate ending letters because I feel so close to you while I
write and I feel so out of contact with you when I end letters. You
could never imagine how much I love and miss you. I don't think I
have ever stopped thinking about you from the second we said goodbye.
You can never leave me Bobby, I could NEVER live without you.

8/31/89
Happy 8 month Anniversary! It's hard for me to show or tell you how
much you mean to me, because you mean so much, and these poems talk
about love in ways I could never think of. Every one of them is sent
from me to you, my far away honey, with all the love in my heart.

9/8/89
You are sound asleep right now and I wish so badly that I could be
asleep in your arms all cuddled up with you. Bobby, you could never
imagine how much I miss you and more than that, how much I love you.
Thanks for always being there and also for being the greatest and most
important part of my life.

I've got literally hundreds of letters from Betsy, she averaged about
1 every 2 days, usually at least 5 pages front and back.

~~The Breakup - She spent a semester abroad in Leysin, Switzerland. I
found a cheap flight and visited her over Thanksgiving. Things were
just different as she had this whole new life with new people and I
was such an outsider. I think we both realized a long-distance
college relationship wasn't allowing us to experience those special
years in full. She's divorced with a 4 year old girl Schuyler and
also lives just a few miles away. We still email and go out
occasionally, but no sparks of any kind...strange to think about how
close we once were.

In the 17 or so years since Betsy, my relationships have been
superficial and short-lived. I'm worried intimacy and the passion
above might be a thing of the past...we'll see.