| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"" |
| Date: |
26 Sep 2005 10:21:15 AM |
| Object: |
Definition of abuse |
Here is how I define abuse:
ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY OR GRAVELY INJURE THE OTHER PERSON, EITHER
PHYSICALLY OR PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
Quarreling, anger and disagreement will take place in any relationship
and do not qualify as abuse.
Ilya Shambat.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 10:29:49 AM |
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<ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1127748075.496207.111650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Here is how I define abuse:
ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY OR GRAVELY INJURE THE OTHER PERSON, EITHER
PHYSICALLY OR PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
Quarreling, anger and disagreement will take place in any relationship
and do not qualify as abuse.
Ilya Shambat.
abuse works this way ,
if the so called victum feels abused , its abuse
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| User: "cal" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 05:36:02 PM |
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"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:04ydnZmiKKg3jqXeRVn-iQ@giganews.com...
<ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1127748075.496207.111650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Here is how I define abuse:
ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY OR GRAVELY INJURE THE OTHER PERSON, EITHER
PHYSICALLY OR PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
Quarreling, anger and disagreement will take place in any relationship
and do not qualify as abuse.
Ilya Shambat.
abuse works this way ,
if the so called victum feels abused , its abuse
yup, until then it's just parental guidance, marital rights, and "hey, i
paid for your dinner."
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 05:55:44 PM |
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"cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:BLKdnfz1fv5O6qXenZ2dnUVZ_smdnZ2d@rogers.com...
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:04ydnZmiKKg3jqXeRVn-iQ@giganews.com...
<ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1127748075.496207.111650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Here is how I define abuse:
ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY OR GRAVELY INJURE THE OTHER PERSON, EITHER
PHYSICALLY OR PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
Quarreling, anger and disagreement will take place in any relationship
and do not qualify as abuse.
Ilya Shambat.
abuse works this way ,
if the so called victum feels abused , its abuse
yup, until then it's just parental guidance, marital rights, and "hey, i
paid for your dinner."
given a person may not be up on the latest terminology like
most of us arm chair on line Ph.d and MA's' in psychology are ,
but i think a person knows ,
when something doesn't feel nice , verbal or physical ,
and the until thens don't change the feeling
.
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| User: "cal" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 07:36:48 PM |
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"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:aKudnXfjSuqr4aXeRVn-jg@giganews.com...
"cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:BLKdnfz1fv5O6qXenZ2dnUVZ_smdnZ2d@rogers.com...
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:04ydnZmiKKg3jqXeRVn-iQ@giganews.com...
<ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1127748075.496207.111650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Here is how I define abuse:
ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY OR GRAVELY INJURE THE OTHER
PERSON, EITHER PHYSICALLY OR PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
Quarreling, anger and disagreement will take place in any relationship
and do not qualify as abuse.
Ilya Shambat.
abuse works this way ,
if the so called victum feels abused , its abuse
yup, until then it's just parental guidance, marital rights, and "hey, i
paid for your dinner."
given a person may not be up on the latest terminology like
most of us arm chair on line Ph.d and MA's' in psychology are ,
but i think a person knows ,
when something doesn't feel nice , verbal or physical ,
and the until thens don't change the feeling
but lots of things don't feel nice but aren't abuse. getting vaccine
needles. going to the dentist. getting a haircut.
anyway, i knew what didn't feel nice long before i knew what was abuse. i
mean, everybody has a reason for doing it to you that they say is a good
reason, and how are you supposed to know what's a good reason and what
isn't? who to believe and who not? that's probably why people go for that
psych degree in the first place.
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 07:55:35 PM |
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but lots of things don't feel nice but aren't abuse. getting vaccine
needles. going to the dentist. getting a haircut.
it is if the victim thinks it is even if not getting it could be worse
anyway, i knew what didn't feel nice long before i knew what was abuse. i
mean, everybody has a reason for doing it to you that they say is a good
reason, and how are you supposed to know what's a good reason and what
isn't? who to believe and who not? that's probably why people go for
that
psych degree in the first place.
like i said , some might not know the terminology ,
but they know they don't like it , and the motivation for my diploma was ,
to learn more about myself and the things i might want to change ,
and of course the bigger bucks for less physical labour , believe what
doesn't hurt
.
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| User: "smithy" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 09:36:08 PM |
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% wrote:
but lots of things don't feel nice but aren't abuse. getting vaccine
needles. going to the dentist. getting a haircut.
it is if the victim thinks it is even if not getting it could be worse
anyway, i knew what didn't feel nice long before i knew what was abuse. i
mean, everybody has a reason for doing it to you that they say is a good
reason, and how are you supposed to know what's a good reason and what
isn't? who to believe and who not? that's probably why people go for
that
psych degree in the first place.
like i said , some might not know the terminology ,
but they know they don't like it , and the motivation for my diploma was ,
to learn more about myself and the things i might want to change ,
and of course the bigger bucks for less physical labour , believe what
doesn't hurt
LOL --- therapy without the official diagnoses
smithy
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 09:40:23 PM |
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"smithy" <rockspell2000@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1127788568.106855.18350@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
% wrote:
but lots of things don't feel nice but aren't abuse. getting vaccine
needles. going to the dentist. getting a haircut.
it is if the victim thinks it is even if not getting it could be worse
anyway, i knew what didn't feel nice long before i knew what was
abuse. i
mean, everybody has a reason for doing it to you that they say is a
good
reason, and how are you supposed to know what's a good reason and what
isn't? who to believe and who not? that's probably why people go for
that
psych degree in the first place.
like i said , some might not know the terminology ,
but they know they don't like it , and the motivation for my diploma was
,
to learn more about myself and the things i might want to change ,
and of course the bigger bucks for less physical labour , believe what
doesn't hurt
LOL --- therapy without the official diagnoses
smithy
LO ... abuse with denial ,
congratulations , you have become your dreaded fear
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| User: "smithy" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 10:02:34 PM |
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% wrote:
"smithy" <rockspell2000@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1127788568.106855.18350@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
% wrote:
but lots of things don't feel nice but aren't abuse. getting vaccine
needles. going to the dentist. getting a haircut.
it is if the victim thinks it is even if not getting it could be worse
anyway, i knew what didn't feel nice long before i knew what was
abuse. i
mean, everybody has a reason for doing it to you that they say is a
good
reason, and how are you supposed to know what's a good reason and what
isn't? who to believe and who not? that's probably why people go for
that
psych degree in the first place.
like i said , some might not know the terminology ,
but they know they don't like it , and the motivation for my diploma was
,
to learn more about myself and the things i might want to change ,
and of course the bigger bucks for less physical labour , believe what
doesn't hurt
LOL --- therapy without the official diagnoses
smithy
LO ... abuse with denial ,
congratulations , you have become your dreaded fear
....and i was thinking of sending you the bill for a free therapy
session that offered insight into your subconscious motivations.
smithy
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 10:15:21 PM |
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"smithy" <rockspell2000@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1127790154.598765.164820@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
% wrote:
"smithy" <rockspell2000@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1127788568.106855.18350@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
% wrote:
but lots of things don't feel nice but aren't abuse. getting
vaccine
needles. going to the dentist. getting a haircut.
it is if the victim thinks it is even if not getting it could be
worse
anyway, i knew what didn't feel nice long before i knew what was
abuse. i
mean, everybody has a reason for doing it to you that they say is
a
good
reason, and how are you supposed to know what's a good reason and
what
isn't? who to believe and who not? that's probably why people go
for
that
psych degree in the first place.
like i said , some might not know the terminology ,
but they know they don't like it , and the motivation for my diploma
was
,
to learn more about myself and the things i might want to change ,
and of course the bigger bucks for less physical labour , believe
what
doesn't hurt
LOL --- therapy without the official diagnoses
smithy
LO ... abuse with denial ,
congratulations , you have become your dreaded fear
...and i was thinking of sending you the bill for a free therapy
session that offered insight into your subconscious motivations.
smithy
sarcasm ... abuse , way to go , you have become an abuser
.
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| User: "bob" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
27 Sep 2005 06:27:52 PM |
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On Mon, 26 Sep 2005 20:15:21 -0700, "%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote:
"smithy" <rockspell2000@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1127790154.598765.164820@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
% wrote:
"smithy" <rockspell2000@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1127788568.106855.18350@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
% wrote:
but lots of things don't feel nice but aren't abuse. getting
vaccine
needles. going to the dentist. getting a haircut.
it is if the victim thinks it is even if not getting it could be
worse
anyway, i knew what didn't feel nice long before i knew what was
abuse. i
mean, everybody has a reason for doing it to you that they say is
a
good
reason, and how are you supposed to know what's a good reason and
what
isn't? who to believe and who not? that's probably why people go
for
that
psych degree in the first place.
like i said , some might not know the terminology ,
but they know they don't like it , and the motivation for my diploma
was
,
to learn more about myself and the things i might want to change ,
and of course the bigger bucks for less physical labour , believe
what
doesn't hurt
LOL --- therapy without the official diagnoses
smithy
LO ... abuse with denial ,
congratulations , you have become your dreaded fear
...and i was thinking of sending you the bill for a free therapy
session that offered insight into your subconscious motivations.
smithy
sarcasm ... abuse , way to go , you have become an abuser
and you continue being a whiner!
.
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| User: "cal" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
27 Sep 2005 12:12:44 AM |
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"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:i5adnQKhROvNBaXeRVn-iA@giganews.com...
cal wrote:
but lots of things don't feel nice but aren't abuse. getting vaccine
needles. going to the dentist. getting a haircut.
it is if the victim thinks it is even if not getting it could be worse
abuse loses its meaning then, as something which is bad and should
never be done.
believe what doesn't hurt
even if it isn't true?
.
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| User: "bob" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 08:09:54 PM |
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On Mon, 26 Sep 2005 17:55:35 -0700, "%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote:
but lots of things don't feel nice but aren't abuse. getting vaccine
needles. going to the dentist. getting a haircut.
it is if the victim thinks it is even if not getting it could be worse
So getting vaccinated is abuse if one believes that the alternate
(getting the disease) is worse? What sort of ***** are you on, dude?
There's only one question that counts now: have you ever been abused?
I don't mean ***** like daddy telling you to shape up or ship out. I
mean sexual abuse (rape, incest, etc), psychological abuse (fearing
being killed), emotional abuse, etc.
anyway, i knew what didn't feel nice long before i knew what was abuse. i
mean, everybody has a reason for doing it to you that they say is a good
reason, and how are you supposed to know what's a good reason and what
isn't? who to believe and who not? that's probably why people go for
that
psych degree in the first place.
like i said , some might not know the terminology ,
but they know they don't like it , and the motivation for my diploma was ,
to learn more about myself and the things i might want to change ,
and of course the bigger bucks for less physical labour , believe what
doesn't hurt
Your diploma (whatever it is) means nothing. Knowledge of self, a true
sense of the human condition ... these things aren't transmitted via
awards.
You sound really silly.
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 08:14:56 PM |
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So getting vaccinated is abuse if one believes that the alternate
(getting the disease) is worse? What sort of ***** are you on, dude?
not only is that abuse , so is your reply so far
There's only one question that counts now: have you ever been abused?
I don't mean ***** like daddy telling you to shape up or ship out. I
mean sexual abuse (rape, incest, etc), psychological abuse (fearing
being killed), emotional abuse, etc.
yes
Your diploma (whatever it is) means nothing. Knowledge of self, a true
sense of the human condition ... these things aren't transmitted via
awards.
You sound really silly.
more abuse
.
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| User: "bob" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
27 Sep 2005 06:24:39 PM |
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On Mon, 26 Sep 2005 18:14:56 -0700, "%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote:
So getting vaccinated is abuse if one believes that the alternate
(getting the disease) is worse? What sort of ***** are you on, dude?
not only is that abuse , so is your reply so far
Be nice, stop hurting me!
There's only one question that counts now: have you ever been abused?
I don't mean ***** like daddy telling you to shape up or ship out. I
mean sexual abuse (rape, incest, etc), psychological abuse (fearing
being killed), emotional abuse, etc.
yes
Get over it.
Your diploma (whatever it is) means nothing. Knowledge of self, a true
sense of the human condition ... these things aren't transmitted via
awards.
You sound really silly.
more abuse
No, more truth.
.
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
27 Sep 2005 06:29:14 PM |
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"bob" <thanatos@coldmail.nu> wrote in message
news:u3ljj1dmje225q5coqq5vc1hh0bd2vc05f@4ax.com...
On Mon, 26 Sep 2005 18:14:56 -0700, "%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote:
So getting vaccinated is abuse if one believes that the alternate
(getting the disease) is worse? What sort of ***** are you on, dude?
not only is that abuse , so is your reply so far
Be nice, stop hurting me!
There's only one question that counts now: have you ever been abused?
I don't mean ***** like daddy telling you to shape up or ship out. I
mean sexual abuse (rape, incest, etc), psychological abuse (fearing
being killed), emotional abuse, etc.
yes
Get over it.
Your diploma (whatever it is) means nothing. Knowledge of self, a
true
sense of the human condition ... these things aren't transmitted via
awards.
You sound really silly.
more abuse
No, more truth.
if i say its abuse its abuse , truth or not truth ,
but who's to expect much from something called ... Bob
.
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| User: "smithy" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
27 Sep 2005 04:21:40 AM |
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bob wrote:
On Mon, 26 Sep 2005 17:55:35 -0700, "%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote:
but lots of things don't feel nice but aren't abuse. getting vaccine
needles. going to the dentist. getting a haircut.
it is if the victim thinks it is even if not getting it could be worse
So getting vaccinated is abuse if one believes that the alternate
(getting the disease) is worse? What sort of ***** are you on, dude?
There's only one question that counts now: have you ever been abused?
I don't mean ***** like daddy telling you to shape up or ship out. I
mean sexual abuse (rape, incest, etc), psychological abuse (fearing
being killed), emotional abuse, etc.
anyway, i knew what didn't feel nice long before i knew what was abuse. i
mean, everybody has a reason for doing it to you that they say is a good
reason, and how are you supposed to know what's a good reason and what
isn't? who to believe and who not? that's probably why people go for
that
psych degree in the first place.
like i said , some might not know the terminology ,
but they know they don't like it , and the motivation for my diploma was ,
to learn more about myself and the things i might want to change ,
and of course the bigger bucks for less physical labour , believe what
doesn't hurt
Your diploma (whatever it is) means nothing. Knowledge of self, a true
sense of the human condition ... these things aren't transmitted via
awards.
You sound really silly.
it is "silly" it aint abuse if its "informed choice" AND "it is within
your mental capacity to process the information adequately"
smithy
.
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| User: "Liz" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 09:17:52 PM |
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On Mon, 26 Sep 2005 20:36:48 -0400, "cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote:
<snip>
anyway, i knew what didn't feel nice long before i knew what was abuse. i
mean, everybody has a reason for doing it to you that they say is a good
reason, and how are you supposed to know what's a good reason and what
isn't? who to believe and who not? that's probably why people go for that
psych degree in the first place.
I didn't know until someone told me. I think I had to have known when
I was a kid, listening to my dad beat my brother, because those
beatings were so severe. But I don't think it ever occurred to me to
ever question it, even to myself.
~*~ I am incredibly silly, so I emphasize you. My tropical liaison won't improve before I say it ~*~
.
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| User: "cal" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
27 Sep 2005 12:12:26 AM |
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"Liz" <isnexttogodly@heaven.net> wrote in message
news:fsahj15v2j7plr3c6bsekja5qep6povbpk@4ax.com...
On Mon, 26 Sep 2005 20:36:48 -0400, "cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote:
<snip>
anyway, i knew what didn't feel nice long before i knew what was abuse. i
mean, everybody has a reason for doing it to you that they say is a good
reason, and how are you supposed to know what's a good reason and what
isn't? who to believe and who not? that's probably why people go for
that
psych degree in the first place.
I didn't know until someone told me. I think I had to have known when
I was a kid, listening to my dad beat my brother, because those
beatings were so severe. But I don't think it ever occurred to me to
ever question it, even to myself.
my old man would beat me with my belt, then he'd freeze me out for a few
days, and then he'd order me to stand in front of him for the compulsory
lecture on what a great thing it was that he did and i would understand one
day and thank him. my mother would come into the room where i was lying on
the floor with the lights out and my pants around my ankles and tell me that
he really loved me and i shouldn't get on his nerves so much when he's so
tired after getting home from work. hard for me to remember through my
repulsion at those remembered scenes now, what i thought about them then.
but i think i felt they were both right, that they had to be right, and i
was always happy and grateful when peace was restored after the compulsory
lecture and it was all over for a while. i remember i tried to stay away
from him as much as i could, because i never knew when he'd blow up. i was
never sure what it was about me that "got on his nerves." it seemed like it
could be anything. i remember times when i raged and wished he would fall
down and die. then i felt guilty as hell for feeling that way and i cried
and prayed to god who taught us to honor our fathers and mothers to teach me
how to do this. i thought that would make everything ok if i could. "you're
too young to understand," i remember somebody telling me. "you don't know
what they've gone through." it isn't a clear picture to me.
.
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
27 Sep 2005 08:46:57 AM |
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"cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:F_2dnSwSAvomSaXeRVn-1g@rogers.com...
my old man would beat me with my belt, then he'd freeze me out for a few
days, and then he'd order me to stand in front of him for the compulsory
lecture on what a great thing it was that he did and i would understand
one
day and thank him. my mother would come into the room where i was lying
on
the floor with the lights out and my pants around my ankles and tell me
that
he really loved me and i shouldn't get on his nerves so much when he's so
tired after getting home from work. hard for me to remember through my
repulsion at those remembered scenes now, what i thought about them then.
but i think i felt they were both right, that they had to be right, and i
was always happy and grateful when peace was restored after the compulsory
lecture and it was all over for a while. i remember i tried to stay away
from him as much as i could, because i never knew when he'd blow up. i
was
never sure what it was about me that "got on his nerves." it seemed like
it
could be anything. i remember times when i raged and wished he would fall
down and die. then i felt guilty as hell for feeling that way and i cried
and prayed to god who taught us to honor our fathers and mothers to teach
me
how to do this. i thought that would make everything ok if i could.
"you're
too young to understand," i remember somebody telling me. "you don't know
what they've gone through." it isn't a clear picture to me.
You just described my childhood. Every thought, every feeling, every
attempt to explain it in my own mind - exactly the same. I am at the point
in my life where that repulsion has been replaced with reconciliation. I
know now that my father was a mentally ill alcoholic who - and I truly
believe this - had no idea what he was doing was wrong. He was so lost in
the dark recesses inside his own mind and I can no longer blame him for the
mistakes that he made. When I imagine his fear, the demons he fought,
lashed out at, often I suspect, feeling completely out of control, it breaks
my heart. I understand now that it was never about anything we did. It
wasn't our fault. Yet, it wasn't his either. We were just unfortunate
enough to get caught in the crossfire of whatever battle raged within him.
I can forgive that. Have done. I loved my dad in spite of it all. But for
the first time in my life I can do it with a real sense of inner peace.
--
Rhiannon
rhianon@sympatico.ca
The Labyrinth
http://thelabyrinthofr.blogspot.com
.
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| User: "cal" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
28 Sep 2005 12:52:04 AM |
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"Rhiannon" <rhianon@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:M4c_e.4629$cq2.460919@news20.bellglobal.com...
You just described my childhood. Every thought, every feeling, every
attempt to explain it in my own mind - exactly the same. I am at the
point in my life where that repulsion has been replaced with
reconciliation.
my memory of those scenes is repulsive. it would be no matter who was in
them. the fact that the protagonists were me and my father brings no
special considerations to bear in my mind. i wouldn't know where to start
looking for those. it's the enactments themselves which are repulsive. i
profoundly regret that i had to be a part of such things. i wish i could
cut them out of myself.
it gives me a special vantage point to have my memories looking out from my
own eyes rather than seeing the two of us on a movie screen or stage from a
third-party pt of view. it means i can see him with unnaturally clear
recall, but myself not as well. i can even see how terror distorted my
view of his size and appearance. i'm imprinted with the sound of his raging
voice, sometimes i can still hear it yell my name when i'm asleep and i
startle awake in response, heart pounding, gasping for air. wouldn't it be
ironic if i died that way some night, ptsd-induced heart failure... i wonder
if that ever happens, morbid twilight zone thought. "the last beating",
with a malevolent hand reaching back from the beyond to take the hapless
man-child. about myself, i remember a bunch of mewling, disjointed pleas
for mercy, crying, and scuttling around on the floor, feeling a bunch of
pain and panic at first and then not much of anything. lying there in the
dark because he always turned the light off when he left and it was usually
night, like an animal that's been hit by a car and isn't quite dead yet.
apathy, i think the word is, for utterly not caring any more. then at some
point, invariably, the mother appears. is just there. i would have
preferred that she weren't. it just added to the hardship because then i
had her to take care of on top of everything else. you ever notice how some
people come to offer you love, help, and caring, and you end up having to
take care of them all the time and they still think they're doing some kind
of noble thing for you? that was my mother. what she should have done was
go to the old man and say listen you *****, you lay a hand on my kid again
and you're gone from here, got it? but if you knew her, this is about the
last thing in the universe she'd be likely to say, for oh so many reasons.
yeah sure, i reconcile, i forgive him. it's not hard to do that with the
dead. we can make of them whatever and whoever we want, with impunity, but
there's not even any need to lie. one of the things i can do in my mind is
superimpose the brawny, energetic man over the shrivelled little doll with
large, staring eyes that cancer turned him into in his last weeks. i feel
the poignancy of his wasting. i was able to nurse him through it and to
grieve when he was gone. i heard him say, "you're a good son," ...a bit
late in the day, but then better late then never. eh? better than not at
all. that's why i went to their house to take care of him. to maybe hear
him say that, or something like that, just once. and he did, and i heard
it, so that's good.
I know now that my father was a mentally ill alcoholic who - and I truly
believe this - had no idea what he was doing was wrong.
mine didn't drink. mentally ill, who knows. i think so. he could have
gotten help, i think there was (is?) a whole branch of psychiatry dedicated
to helping people like him to have better lives. the whole holocaust
survivor industry. but he thought psychiatry was quackery and never lost a
chance to ridicule practitioners and patients alike. he was visibly freaked
when a friend of his went suicidal and was hauled off to the psych hospital
for electroshock treatments. "thank goodness i'm a practical, common-sense
person with a positive attitude." he figured he was doing fine, with a
no-nonsense, "snap out of it" approach to dealing with any negative feelings
that might intrude on his day.
only once in a while, he completely lost it. these times were always
horrible, even when they didn't involve a round of "abuse the first-born."
they didn't always. sometimes it wasn't rage that came out but pain. you
sometimes hear people doing that kind of pain in the movies. they get it
wrong, they romanticize it deliberately, because if they did it the way it
is, nobody would want to see it.
but afterwards he always zipped himself back up and never said another word
about it. i don't even know if he knew he'd done it.
He was so lost in the dark recesses inside his own mind and I can no
longer blame him for
the mistakes that he made. When I imagine his fear, the demons he fought,
lashed out at, often I suspect, feeling completely out of control, it
breaks my heart. I understand now that it was never about anything we
did. It wasn't our fault. Yet, it wasn't his either. We were just
unfortunate enough to get caught in the crossfire of whatever battle raged
within him. I can forgive that. Have done. I loved my dad in spite of it
all. But for the first time in my life I can do it with a real sense of
inner peace.
that's good. it sounds good. i'm not strong on inner peace, although i'm
strong on love, and i'm aware that this combination occurs in me by choice,
is an expression of me as i like and want me.
well, thanks for telling me this and for the chance to walk down memory
lane. i get something out of doing it from time to time.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
27 Sep 2005 11:30:57 AM |
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Liz wrote:
On Mon, 26 Sep 2005 20:36:48 -0400, "cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote:
<snip>
anyway, i knew what didn't feel nice long before i knew what was abuse. i
mean, everybody has a reason for doing it to you that they say is a good
reason, and how are you supposed to know what's a good reason and what
isn't? who to believe and who not? that's probably why people go for that
psych degree in the first place.
I didn't know until someone told me. I think I had to have known when
I was a kid, listening to my dad beat my brother, because those
beatings were so severe. But I don't think it ever occurred to me to
ever question it, even to myself.
~*~ I am incredibly silly, so I emphasize you. My tropical liaison won't improve before I say it ~*~
i guess i knew b4 someone told me but not by much. looking back on it
now, that seems stupid - how could i have thought it was anything
but... the thing is, when you grow up in a place where bad stuff is
normal stuff then you really *dont* know. its like you know your not
spose to talk about it but you dont no the reason for that is cuz then
other ppl will know something bad is goin on, so they make you think
its some other reason that your not spose to talk about it. they get
you in a situation where your kinda dammed if you tell someone but
dammed if you dont... i dunno. this post just got my attention cuz i
didnt no either and now i sometimes feel pretty stupid for not knowing
but i can also see how its set up that way.
j
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| User: "Flip Jefferson Montana" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
29 Sep 2005 07:37:21 AM |
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"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:04ydnZmiKKg3jqXeRVn-iQ@giganews.com...
<ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1127748075.496207.111650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Here is how I define abuse:
ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY OR GRAVELY INJURE THE OTHER PERSON, EITHER
PHYSICALLY OR PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
Quarreling, anger and disagreement will take place in any relationship
and do not qualify as abuse.
Ilya Shambat.
abuse works this way ,
if the so called victum feels abused , its abuse
Anything passes for abuse now days, even pointing your finger at the wrong
person can be termed as abusive (sigh).
----== Posted via Newsfeeds.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==----
http://www.newsfeeds.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! 120,000+ Newsgroups
----= East and West-Coast Server Farms - Total Privacy via Encryption =----
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| User: "elephty" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
30 Sep 2005 12:42:25 PM |
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Is-ness or murder can end abuse. One is less trouble than the other.
Murder.
Quarreling, anger, and disagreement are abuses if they are continuous.
victum, rectum, hell, it nearly killed him.
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:04ydnZmiKKg3jqXeRVn-iQ@giganews.com...
<ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1127748075.496207.111650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Here is how I define abuse:
ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY OR GRAVELY INJURE THE OTHER PERSON, EITHER
PHYSICALLY OR PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
Quarreling, anger and disagreement will take place in any relationship
and do not qualify as abuse.
Ilya Shambat.
abuse works this way ,
if the so called victum feels abused , its abuse
I don't think it works that way. Some people feel abused if their servant
arrives late. Some people feel abused if they can't have take-out every
night. Others feel abused if they don't like what is being shared for
dinner. If what is served is a freshly and properly cooked vegetable, it is
not abuse; if it is a plate full of crap, it is abuse, but only if forced to
eat it, or is the only thing served day after day until the victim is
starving, in which case the starving victim needs a good slap upside the
head or hit in the back of the head with the "happy" stick so they will take
matters in their own hands.
Remember that no matter how dangerous the abuser is, he or she has to sleep
sometime. If you don't own a baseball bat, there is always boiling water.
If it is low-level but consistent abuse the victim can always use the
abusers toothbrush to keep his ***** clean. One must be careful though,
because the mouth germs may contaminate your *****. Be sure to clean
thoroughly before cleaning your *****, then return the toothbrush to its
proper place making certain not to disturb the bristles of the toothbrush to
maximize the experience for the abuser. You may wish to use toilet tissue
to dab away accumulated matter that might give away the surprise.
No greater joy can the victim know, when later that evening he or she hears
bellowing from the bathroom, "***** my toothbrush tastes like its been up
someone's *****." To which the victim may choose to respond, "How do you know
what ***** tastes like?" Normally, this has a quieting effect on the abuser,
although it will not solicit laughter, in the abuser, at that exact moment.
It the abuser feels abused enough he may never abuse again,
Note: Do not do this to your abuser if you cannot keep a poker face and act
as though you are as horrified as the abuser about his toothbrush. A
recommended behavior is to run to the abuser, yelling "Damnit, god-damn-it
to hell," grab the toothbrush and flush it down the toilet. Next yell at
the toilet as if you are out of your mind, "Take that you stupid *****."
Then walk away, mumbling softly, as if to yourself, "Sons of bitches, drown
the bastards, that's how you handle them."
From this day forward, of course, the victim will find it necessary to hide
his toothbrush and never forget to give it the old sniff test before
applying toothpaste to the brush. When certain abusers realize that they
can easily be the victim of sabotage, except for the truly deranged ones, it
works quite well at cooling their jets.
Do not under any circumstances use this method of sabotage if the abuser is
deranged. The "learning" can be hell, in fact, the abuse could devolve into
murder. While this may spare you the abuse you had while alive, if one
takes the Bible at its word, where you are going, god is much worse. Don't
all perpetrators go to hell, and all victims to heaven? Maybe. Maybe not.
The answer depends upon where the toothbrush was last and which end of the
toothbrush one was on. Besides, who wants to be around a crowd of victims
for eternity.
Do not respond with the less popular, "How does ***** taste?" The abuser may
chose to "learn" the victim about the taste of *****; for some this could be a
very unpleasant and unnecessary experience. Then again one might find it
sexy, which is the result of another type of abuse - chocolate Malt-o-Meal
at too early an age.
It's usually labeled as spoiled, not to be confused with soiled, and may or
may not be abuse. The courts have not ruled on whether this "learning"
process constitutes abuse.
After telling the story above where five roommates shared a five bedroom
home, all of the toothbrushes disappeared from the bathrooms, which was odd
because we all went to the expense of buying new ones.
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| User: "Pete" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 12:48:51 PM |
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<ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1127748075.496207.111650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Here is how I define abuse:
ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY OR GRAVELY INJURE THE OTHER PERSON, EITHER
PHYSICALLY OR PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
Quarreling, anger and disagreement will take place in any relationship
and do not qualify as abuse.
Ilya Shambat.
True. I would only add that a person can be destroyed SPIRITUALLY as well.
-Pete
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| User: "Louise " |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
27 Sep 2005 07:32:04 AM |
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On Mon, 26 Sep 2005 13:48:51 -0400, "Pete" <Pete@nospam.com> wrote:
<ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1127748075.496207.111650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Here is how I define abuse:
ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY OR GRAVELY INJURE THE OTHER PERSON, EITHER
PHYSICALLY OR PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
Quarreling, anger and disagreement will take place in any relationship
and do not qualify as abuse.
Ilya Shambat.
True. I would only add that a person can be destroyed SPIRITUALLY as well.
-Pete
Indeed.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
28 Sep 2005 06:38:37 PM |
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Pete wrote:
True. I would only add that a person can be destroyed SPIRITUALLY as well.
-Pete
That's true too.
There are ways to deal with that problem, and I've seen many work.
Ilya Shambat.
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| User: "bob" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
28 Sep 2005 08:11:40 PM |
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On 28 Sep 2005 16:38:37 -0700, wrote:
Pete wrote:
True. I would only add that a person can be destroyed SPIRITUALLY as well.
-Pete
That's true too.
There are ways to deal with that problem, and I've seen many work.
You've been the devil's little assistant, right?
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| User: "Used2be" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 11:35:17 AM |
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<ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1127748075.496207.111650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Here is how I define abuse:
crossposting????
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| User: "David OBedlam" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
26 Sep 2005 12:57:02 PM |
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On Mon, 26 Sep 2005, Used2be wrote:
<ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1127748075.496207.111650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Here is how I define abuse:
crossposting????
No, "crossposting" is how Ilya defines "baiting his next victim".
--
"Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
(C) 2005 by 'TheDavid^TM' | David, P.O. Box 21403, Louisville, KY 40221
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| User: "elephty" |
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| Title: Re: Definition of abuse |
30 Sep 2005 11:10:25 PM |
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Ilya is a fisherman of sorts. He seems to go after the most vulnerable or
those who are temporarily vulnerable, and then makes it worse. Some might
find it interesting to be caught on his hook.
"David O'Bedlam" <thedavid@shell.rawbw.com> wrote in message
news:20050926105545.P66887@shell.rawbw.com...
On Mon, 26 Sep 2005, Used2be wrote:
<ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1127748075.496207.111650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Here is how I define abuse:
crossposting????
No, "crossposting" is how Ilya defines "baiting his next victim".
--
"Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
(C) 2005 by 'TheDavid^TM' | David, P.O. Box 21403, Louisville, KY 40221
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