| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Joon" |
| Date: |
27 Nov 2004 10:02:04 AM |
| Object: |
Depressed from looking in the mirror |
Everyday I try my best to avoid looking in the mirror. Why? Because
everytime I do I feel disgusted and depressed, causing me to worry and break
down. Everyone I ask tells me that I look perfectly fine, but I just cant
seem to see what they are telling me.
There is something wrong with the way my face and body looks in the mirror.
I mean, nobody's perfect, but maybe that is what deep down I am striving
for, perfection. I know that will never happen, and I need to change that
perfectionist way of thinking, but come on, atleast looking half decent to
yourself to the point where you can face people and have confidence.
What can I do to improve the way I see myself? A big part of it is my mental
state which could use a lot of work.
I have considered plastic surgery in the past, and maybe once I save up
enough I'll be able to get it done, but will this really make me happy? Or
am I doomed to be unhappy with my looks for the rest of my physical
existense?
Some have told me that I have a dysmorphic body image, one that is unreal
and irrational that I see to myself. But could it be that I really am just
unhappy with my looks? The way I feel on the inside is much different than
what I see when I look in the mirror. I want desperately to look my best,
but where do I start?
Any suggestions are welcome....
.
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| User: "CyberDroog" |
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| Title: Re: Depressed from looking in the mirror |
27 Nov 2004 12:39:26 PM |
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On Sat, 27 Nov 2004 11:02:04 -0500, "Joon" <arjunlal@rogers.com> wrote:
Everyday I try my best to avoid looking in the mirror. Why? Because
everytime I do I feel disgusted and depressed, causing me to worry and break
down. Everyone I ask tells me that I look perfectly fine, but I just cant
seem to see what they are telling me.
This reminds me of an interview with Rick Springfield I saw years ago -
back in the days when he was a huge pop heartthrob. He said he would look
in the mirror and not be able to understand why he was considered to be so
good looking.
What can I do to improve the way I see myself? A big part of it is my mental
state which could use a lot of work.
I have considered plastic surgery in the past, and maybe once I save up
enough I'll be able to get it done, but will this really make me happy? Or
am I doomed to be unhappy with my looks for the rest of my physical
existense?
Some have told me that I have a dysmorphic body image, one that is unreal
and irrational that I see to myself. But could it be that I really am just
unhappy with my looks? The way I feel on the inside is much different than
what I see when I look in the mirror. I want desperately to look my best,
but where do I start?
Maxwell Maltz wrote the book Psycho-Cybernetics partly as a result of his
experience as a plastic surgeon. He found, as all plastic surgeons do,
that a sizeable percentage of people will remain, or become, depressed
after plastic surgery. He came to the conclusion that changing ones looks
is very unlikely to change your mental image of yourself.
I know that from my own experience. Many women have told me that I am very
good-looking, and I always do very well with women - provided my mood is
bright it seems like I can't fail. But when I'm down, it's a disaster.
This stems from having had horrific cystic acne as a teen. Accutane came
along when I was about 20 and cleared it up completely. But my mental
image of myself didn't change. If I was feeling down, I still couldn't get
any attention. But when I was up... whoa! In the 80's I was very, very
pretty - bleached, spiky hair, andb lue eyes with naturally long lashes. I
was told by many that I was as pretty as a girl. So I even had men hitting
on me (I even let them buy me drinks before telling them I was straight, so
I guess I was a ***** also... hehehe.) My best times have always been when
I was just having fun and not thinking about myself. It's magic. I don't
even have to do anything. I get approached by women when I am feeling
good.
But something that always struck me was one of the bartenders at my local
watering hole. He had acne every bit as bad as I formerly had, yet he was
a real casanova. It just didn't matter to him - he saw himself as
attractive and popular and he was. It really amazed me. And there I was,
all cleared up, pretty as a girl, and I couldn't approach a woman to save
my life when I was depressed.
--
ADMIRATION, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to
ourselves.
- Ambrose Bierce
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| User: "juno 7" |
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| Title: Re: Depressed from looking in the mirror |
27 Nov 2004 01:06:17 PM |
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something as simple as proper nutrition and exercise can profoundly change
the way you view yourself. I think more important than a beautiful face is
having radiance, and when your healthy and radiant, you automatically become
so much more attractive.
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| User: "neoholistic" |
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| Title: Re: Depressed from looking in the mirror |
27 Nov 2004 10:20:31 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
Joon wrote:
Everyday I try my best to avoid looking in the mirror. Why? Because
everytime I do I feel disgusted and depressed, causing me to worry and break
down. Everyone I ask tells me that I look perfectly fine, but I just cant
seem to see what they are telling me.
There is something wrong with the way my face and body looks in the mirror.
I mean, nobody's perfect, but maybe that is what deep down I am striving
for, perfection. I know that will never happen, and I need to change that
perfectionist way of thinking, but come on, atleast looking half decent to
yourself to the point where you can face people and have confidence.
What can I do to improve the way I see myself? A big part of it is my mental
state which could use a lot of work.
I have considered plastic surgery in the past, and maybe once I save up
enough I'll be able to get it done, but will this really make me happy? Or
am I doomed to be unhappy with my looks for the rest of my physical
existense?
Some have told me that I have a dysmorphic body image, one that is unreal
and irrational that I see to myself. But could it be that I really am just
unhappy with my looks? The way I feel on the inside is much different than
what I see when I look in the mirror. I want desperately to look my best,
but where do I start?
Any suggestions are welcome....
Talk to your doctor. That's the first (but often the most difficult)
thing to do.
--
Please keep the 'x-no-archive: yes' header.
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