"Danube" <pinkdanube5@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:b9c50c82.0411221019.4c5fcbe@posting.google.com...

Hi everyone. Its the irst time I am expressing myself and I hope that
by doing this, it will help me out. I am a 30 year old man. Just got
marrie this year, five months ago with a 19 year old girl. Just after
the wedding when we returned back home, I lost my job. A job I had
done for 8 years and in which I was like the boss myself. I supported
the shock and life continued. But I am unable to have sex with my
wife. Why ? When i think back I realise that I do not like her. No
love at all, not even some likings ! So why did I marry her ? I think
I married her because of my parents. I come from an Indo-Asiatic
family and I think that I married her perhaps as respect or to please
my parents. There was no arranged marriage, I chose the lady. Again
why ? Well, i scanned all my relationship and sorted her out perhaps
because of her belief and because her parents also indirectly once
suggested that we may form a good couple ?!?! Ever since the very
first day I realised I did not love her and the very first day itself
we did not have sex. The second day of the marriage, as a man, i have
desires, but when the time came i failed. I could not perform any sex.
Ever since that day and now nearly six months later we did not had any
sex. Now every time i see her, nearly all day long !!! I cannot take
it out of my mind that i cannot live with her. I have in mind that
perhaps i am a monster to treat her like that, well maybe. Its my
fault, i know. Now, even at night, we sleep together on the same bed,
whenever sh touches me, maybe unvoluntarily, i feel uneasy. I cannot
bear her contact. She snores loudly at night and that too madden me,
but i never offenced her by saying anything. She keep turning and
turning every 5 minutes and she takes nearly all the bed for herself.
I did not yet mentionned that she is fat. She is 160 cms and weighs
100 kgs. She is black and i would not say she is pretty ! My God,
excuse me ! I know that you will say it is better to divorce her. But
there are my parents, quite old now and both with weak health. I can
imagine the effect that will make if i tell them that i am divorcing
her. Now for me, in society i make a respectful guy. Everyone quite
appreciate me or my presence. I am involve in many activites and
social life. But no one knows my real despair deep inside. I cannot
share it with others, maybe because i just cannot do it. As i am on
the roads and in public every day i come across every kind of women
and when i think back at my wife waiting for me at home, i just do not
want to return home.As for her i think that she loves me because she
is still supporting me and having no sex at all. Please give me some
advice what to do. Sometime i think that i will just leave everything
and everyone there and fly away somewhere where i will be alone and
free. Byt i respect my parents and cannot leave them as i have no
other siblings. Its a very hard time i never expected i would have to
go through !

sleep alone