| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Alan Harding" |
| Date: |
07 Sep 2004 09:57:52 AM |
| Object: |
Diets and exercise. |
Q1: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
true?
A1: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q2: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A2: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable products.
Q3: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A3: Not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of
the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of vegetables. Bottoms up!
Q4: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A4: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q5: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A5: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...
Good
Q6: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A6: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables
be bad for you?
Q7: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A7: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q8: Is chocolate bad for me?
A8: Are you crazy? HELLO? Cocoa beans... another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!
Q9: Is swimming good for your figure?
A9: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q10: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A10: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and exercise.
(From an E-mail.)
--
The opinions given above may be mine. They might also
just be what I feel like saying right now, okay?
.
|
|
| User: "Kirby Cook" |
|
| Title: Re: Diets and exercise. |
07 Sep 2004 11:06:32 PM |
|
|
Alan Harding wrote:
Q1: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A1: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q2: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A2: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable products.
Q3: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A3: Not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of
the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of vegetables. Bottoms up!
Q4: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A4: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q5: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A5: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain... Good
Q6: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A6: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables
be bad for you?
Q7: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A7: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q8: Is chocolate bad for me?
A8: Are you crazy? HELLO? Cocoa beans... another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!
Q9: Is swimming good for your figure?
A9: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q10: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A10: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and exercise.
(From an E-mail.)
Printed it out for my daughter. She likes funnies. Too.
Kirby
.
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|
|
| User: "dennis" |
|
| Title: Re: Diets and exercise. |
07 Sep 2004 06:23:56 PM |
|
|
On Tue, 7 Sep 2004 15:57:52 +0100, Alan Harding
<Alan@harding.demon.co.uk> wrote:
Q1: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
true?
A1:no, it mearly seems like an eternity while you are doing it
Q2: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
yes. leave the meat for me. especially that nice steak you just
grilled
Q3: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
you should not intake alcohol you should drink it.
Q4: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
do i look like a math whiz?
Q5: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
stopping
Q6: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
ever tried sushi?
Q7: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
sit ups cause you to be a little soft in the head
Q8: Is chocolate bad for me?
yes, leave your chocolate mouse next to the steak. i will sacrifice
for you.
Q9: Is swimming good for your figure?
that depends on how you look in a string bikini
Q10: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
who wants to live forever?
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and exercise.
(From an E-mail.)
.
|
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| User: "humble.life" |
|
| Title: Re: Diets and exercise. |
07 Sep 2004 03:44:41 PM |
|
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snip,
simple rules
1. march until you feel your heart beating when going to the shops,
walking isn't always excercising
2. purposefully lift your shopping-bags whilst walking home, just a
little, in 9 second rounds.
3. go straight to the KFC and undo all the good work in less than
half-an-hour.
.
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