| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"alvintchase" |
| Date: |
25 Oct 2004 10:51:07 AM |
| Object: |
Different voices |
Does anyone notice sometimes,that there are different sounding voices
in your head?I mean in the dialougue that you have in your head,your
thoughts?I notice sometimes that I have kind of a child's voice,a
teenager's voice,and an adult voices in my head,depending on what I'm
thinking about,what my mood is,whether I've drunk coffee
recently...I'm just wondering if other people notice this as well?
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| User: "% surfs@uniserve" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 10:59:14 AM |
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"alvintchase" <relayer211@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:a78957eb.0410250751.33cf77cd@posting.google.com...
Does anyone notice sometimes,that there are different sounding voices
in your head?I mean in the dialougue that you have in your head,your
thoughts?I notice sometimes that I have kind of a child's voice,a
teenager's voice,and an adult voices in my head,depending on what I'm
thinking about,what my mood is,whether I've drunk coffee
recently...I'm just wondering if other people notice this as well?
nope , mine is always the same guy and it sounds just like me , to me
but what you have is a good thing it must be nice to be able to
tap all those emotions and apply the voice to the need
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| User: "David" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 02:54:05 PM |
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I've been getting that a little lately, especially later during the day. It
seems get worse the more pop I drink, and drinking lots of water helps for
some reason. Before my meds started working, it just seemed 'fuzzy', if that
makes any sense.
"alvintchase" <relayer211@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:a78957eb.0410250751.33cf77cd@posting.google.com...
Does anyone notice sometimes,that there are different sounding voices
in your head?I mean in the dialougue that you have in your head,your
thoughts?I notice sometimes that I have kind of a child's voice,a
teenager's voice,and an adult voices in my head,depending on what I'm
thinking about,what my mood is,whether I've drunk coffee
recently...I'm just wondering if other people notice this as well?
.
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| User: "Jernau Gurgeh" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 03:39:08 PM |
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alvintchase wrote in alt.support.depression:
Does anyone notice sometimes,that there are different sounding voices
in your head?I mean in the dialougue that you have in your head,your
thoughts?I notice sometimes that I have kind of a child's voice,a
teenager's voice,and an adult voices in my head,depending on what I'm
thinking about,what my mood is,whether I've drunk coffee
recently...I'm just wondering if other people notice this as well?
One of my therapies is about internal dialogue, the different aspects of
our personalities and how they interact. And yes, they sound different
and have different ages.
Jernau
--
The only failure in life
is the failure to try
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| User: "áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 03:47:55 PM |
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On 25 Oct 2004 20:39:08 GMT, Jernau Gurgeh <jernaugurgeh@*****.this.*****>
wrote:
alvintchase wrote in alt.support.depression:
Does anyone notice sometimes,that there are different sounding voices
in your head?I mean in the dialougue that you have in your head,your
thoughts?I notice sometimes that I have kind of a child's voice,a
teenager's voice,and an adult voices in my head,depending on what I'm
thinking about,what my mood is,whether I've drunk coffee
recently...I'm just wondering if other people notice this as well?
One of my therapies is about internal dialogue, the different aspects of
our personalities and how they interact. And yes, they sound different
and have different ages.
Compartmentalisation.
.
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| User: "David" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 04:49:51 PM |
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"áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:3ipqn05jav6pf0aa96tot3ts6lic5s3ndm@4ax.com...
On 25 Oct 2004 20:39:08 GMT, Jernau Gurgeh <jernaugurgeh@*****.this.*****>
wrote:
alvintchase wrote in alt.support.depression:
Does anyone notice sometimes,that there are different sounding voices
in your head?I mean in the dialougue that you have in your head,your
thoughts?I notice sometimes that I have kind of a child's voice,a
teenager's voice,and an adult voices in my head,depending on what I'm
thinking about,what my mood is,whether I've drunk coffee
recently...I'm just wondering if other people notice this as well?
One of my therapies is about internal dialogue, the different aspects of
our personalities and how they interact. And yes, they sound different
and have different ages.
Compartmentalisation.
Sometimes I journalize their thoughts and feelings in ms word.
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| User: "áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 04:52:49 PM |
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On Mon, 25 Oct 2004 16:49:51 -0500, "David" <david.d@nospam.cox.net> wrote:
One of my therapies is about internal dialogue, the different aspects of
our personalities and how they interact. And yes, they sound different
and have different ages.
Compartmentalisation.
Sometimes I journalize their thoughts and feelings in ms word.
Are you DID?
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| User: "David" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 05:35:03 PM |
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"áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:octqn0h0vumju9jnhgprjplds81ho6hq33@4ax.com...
On Mon, 25 Oct 2004 16:49:51 -0500, "David" <david.d@nospam.cox.net>
wrote:
One of my therapies is about internal dialogue, the different aspects of
our personalities and how they interact. And yes, they sound different
and have different ages.
Compartmentalisation.
Sometimes I journalize their thoughts and feelings in ms word.
Are you DID?
I think I may be, though not officially diagnosed. Just starting with
therapy, actually.
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| User: "áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 07:24:39 PM |
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On Mon, 25 Oct 2004 17:35:03 -0500, "David" <david.d@nospam.cox.net> wrote:
I think I may be, though not officially diagnosed. Just starting with
therapy, actually.
I wish you well. It's a long process and often a painful one.
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| User: "Jernau Gurgeh" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 05:54:05 PM |
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áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG wrote in alt.support.depression:
On 25 Oct 2004 20:39:08 GMT, Jernau Gurgeh
<jernaugurgeh@*****.this.*****> wrote:
alvintchase wrote in alt.support.depression:
Does anyone notice sometimes,that there are different sounding
voices in your head?I mean in the dialougue that you have in your
head,your thoughts?I notice sometimes that I have kind of a child's
voice,a teenager's voice,and an adult voices in my head,depending on
what I'm thinking about,what my mood is,whether I've drunk coffee
recently...I'm just wondering if other people notice this as well?
One of my therapies is about internal dialogue, the different aspects
of our personalities and how they interact. And yes, they sound
different and have different ages.
Compartmentalisation.
So is DID an extreme form of this? With no communication between the
compartments?
Jernau
--
The only failure in life
is the failure to try
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| User: "David" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 07:13:02 PM |
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"Jernau Gurgeh" <jernaugurgeh@*****.this.*****> wrote in message
news:Xns958E89EA2894SynchronizeUrDogmas@127.0.0.1...
áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG wrote in alt.support.depression:
On 25 Oct 2004 20:39:08 GMT, Jernau Gurgeh
<jernaugurgeh@*****.this.*****> wrote:
alvintchase wrote in alt.support.depression:
Does anyone notice sometimes,that there are different sounding
voices in your head?I mean in the dialougue that you have in your
head,your thoughts?I notice sometimes that I have kind of a child's
voice,a teenager's voice,and an adult voices in my head,depending on
what I'm thinking about,what my mood is,whether I've drunk coffee
recently...I'm just wondering if other people notice this as well?
One of my therapies is about internal dialogue, the different aspects
of our personalities and how they interact. And yes, they sound
different and have different ages.
Compartmentalisation.
So is DID an extreme form of this? With no communication between the
compartments?
I'm not sure that DID is the extreme, it's just a diagnosis. From what I
understand though there are different stages in the healing process.
Communication between 'parts' plays an important role in the individual
becoming a whole person again.
Jernau
--
The only failure in life
is the failure to try
.
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| User: "áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 07:25:54 PM |
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On Mon, 25 Oct 2004 19:13:02 -0500, "David" <david.d@nospam.cox.net> wrote:
I'm not sure that DID is the extreme, it's just a diagnosis. From what I
understand though there are different stages in the healing process.
Communication between 'parts' plays an important role in the individual
becoming a whole person again.
Learning to negotiate and have dialogue with yourself helps a lot.
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| User: "David" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 07:35:47 PM |
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"áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:7b6rn05umf69faqm61a2tdblen1kt7p1sv@4ax.com...
On Mon, 25 Oct 2004 19:13:02 -0500, "David" <david.d@nospam.cox.net>
wrote:
I'm not sure that DID is the extreme, it's just a diagnosis. From what I
understand though there are different stages in the healing process.
Communication between 'parts' plays an important role in the individual
becoming a whole person again.
Learning to negotiate and have dialogue with yourself helps a lot.
There was a time when they seemed more orderly the others, but they have
never interacted with eachother. Most of the time it's pretty quiet, with
the increased medication. I often interact with my 'helper' though, as they
call it, especially over the past few days.
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| User: "áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 07:41:19 PM |
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On Mon, 25 Oct 2004 19:35:47 -0500, "David" <david.d@nospam.cox.net> wrote:
There was a time when they seemed more orderly the others, but they have
never interacted with eachother. Most of the time it's pretty quiet, with
the increased medication. I often interact with my 'helper' though, as they
call it, especially over the past few days.
It has taken me a long time to accept that they are all parts of me, and in
turn they should all be cared for.
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| User: "David" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 07:48:23 PM |
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"áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:u77rn09iis9aro2blp2rk0ipollvre8ovf@4ax.com...
On Mon, 25 Oct 2004 19:35:47 -0500, "David" <david.d@nospam.cox.net>
wrote:
There was a time when they seemed more orderly the others, but they have
never interacted with eachother. Most of the time it's pretty quiet, with
the increased medication. I often interact with my 'helper' though, as
they
call it, especially over the past few days.
It has taken me a long time to accept that they are all parts of me, and
in
turn they should all be cared for.
I haven't fully accepted it myself, I'm just becoming aware that there's a
problem. It seems to have started after I first got my job, and I still feel
like I'm recovering from everything that happened this past year or so. It
seems to be getting easier though, especially with therapy and when I can
get a diagnosis.
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| User: "áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 07:23:49 PM |
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On 25 Oct 2004 22:54:05 GMT, Jernau Gurgeh <jernaugurgeh@*****.this.*****>
wrote:
One of my therapies is about internal dialogue, the different aspects
of our personalities and how they interact. And yes, they sound
different and have different ages.
Compartmentalisation.
So is DID an extreme form of this? With no communication between the
compartments?
Yep, that is exactly what it is my friend.
excuse spelling and grammar, i'm just rattling this out. No need to reply as
this is head baking stuff :)
Say for example you're born into a hostile environment. For the first few
months up until say 12 to 18 months you're following the program that is
instilled into every child, that is to seek safety, security and love (things
such as food come second to bonding. Make that connection and you've got all
you need). So you're neglected as a child living in say a hostile family.
You're not getting what you want and so you stop attempts at making real
bonds, so now your life or death system is working, you will do what you need
to do to get what you want (food, attention etc). You have started a shutting
down process. Say when you're two and your parents are violent to you or
around you, you don't know what is happening or why, and in some ways it
doesn't matter because in order to cope you start to detach yourself from
what is happening around you, you start to dissociate. As you grow up you
become in one way more vulnerable because you now are able to understand
neglect and or violence or abuse of any kind, but in order to survive your
brain begins the coping process of protecting yourself and so it channels all
its resources into isolating the vulnerable and creating a decoy that is able
to assess what is happening and cope (hyperawareness and hypervigilance are
born). If your environment is sufficiently negligent or abusive, not only
will you detach, but your brain will begin to pluck you out of where you are
by stopping the brain from incorporating you into what's happening, and so
your body joins your mind and it detaches itself too (depersonalisation and
derealisation). As you grow, you'll often experience trauma of some sort such
as death, an increase in abuse or maybe you're just vulnerable because you're
doing something as innocent as growing up. So in order to cope, your brain
steps things up a gear and in-turn you batten down the hatches even more. The
problem is that at no point is their any respite from your abuse/enviroment,
and so you never get to unwind, learn to connect or allow the child within to
emerge and grow.
My father was abusive and my mother a drinker, so as soon as I was born I
started to shut down because no one was around for me to connect too. At 2yo
i started to dissociate because of my fathers physical and emotional abuse.
At 4yo I had dissociated. At 5yo something happened to me which I can't
recall. At 10yo I was still being abused physically and emotionally as well
as mother crossing sexual boundaries against my wishes. At 12 I told my
father I didn't want to be like him. At 14 my mother was hospitalised which
started her who;e illness process, at 21 my father died, at 23 my business
went to the wall for £33000, at 24 my mother started cracking up, at 27 the
***** hit the fan, at 35 my grandmother died in my arms and a year later my
mother killed herself. Okay, now this is how it works.
born to 2yo aware (personality #1)
2 to 4yo I started to dissociate. (personality #2)
4 to 7 real gone kid ((personality #3)
7 to 12 (personality #4)
12 to 14 (personality #5)
15 to 21 (personality #6)
21 to 29 (personality #7)
29 to 35 (personality #8)
35 to 36 (personality #9)
37 to now (personality #10)
All those ages coincide with a significant change in what was happening. Fact
is things got progressively worse (different really). When someone is DID
(MPD) what each personality is is actually them, who they were at say 12 or
17 or 29. Most of my personality changes are similar, that is because there
was a subtle progression in what was happening rather than an extreme change.
So although I switch, they are subtle. I do however have maybe 3 or 4
satellite personalities that bear no connection to the main personality.
Personality #1 is the child in me, and he remains hidden, but he is now
starting to surface. He is one of those satellite personalities that bear no
resemblance to anyone else. When he does emerge he is very very scared.
Personality #2 is similar but he is able to connect with people like a child,
but at the same time he is totally dissociated. Personality #3 to #6 are
similar, totally detached, arrogant and obnoxious. Personality #7 is more
human. Personality #8 is warmer than 7, but he is still connected to other
parts of me. Personality #9 is vicious, nasty and very VERY protective, and
is a satellite personality that only appears when really cornered. He is like
numbers 3,4 and 5, but with really sharp teeth and he really doesn't give a
*****, and man he bites (just ask Nina).
Each personality is basically a time capsule where I go back to who I was
when a certain something was happening. Triggers that bear a similarity to
something that happened back then will have me reacting as I did then.
Sometimes I become the 4yo, the 2yo, the 12yo and the one Nina really hates
is the 35yo.
Other people who experience DID will often experience something different.
Say someone was really badly abused (I wasn't, I just had really fucked
parents) then that person will completely shut themselves down and may even
spend years as someone else (I have no recollection of my family beyond
recall memories since I was 35, I'm now 42). But if say someone is being
subjected to torture, they may dissociate to such an extent that they
completely shut down altogether. Later on in life those missing abused years
emerge, but because they weren't there thanks to having dissociated,
depersonalisation and derealisation, they then emerge as someone to which
they have no recollection. In other words the brain segments itself through
compartmentalisation.
Alkida (yes them, saddam etc). What Alkida do is they have splinter cells,
and each cell is totally unaware of the other. If one cell knows of the
existence of another cell, then as soon as one cell is captured it jeopardies
the integrity of the other cells, and so therefore each cell has to exist
without knowledge of any other cells in order to maintain integrity. It's
like that with the brain, to separates the vulnerable completely and totally
from what is happening. Because even a tiny leak would bring the whole coping
mechanism down crashing. And that is basically what happens :)
During the second world war when the germans rounded up the jews into camps,
some jews learnt to detach themselves and dissociate. The more the guards
punished them, the more it hardened them. Those lucky enough to survive would
often go on to lead normal health lives until one day some years later
someone says or does something that bears a similarity to something that
happened to them years back. Suddenly the dissociation stops working and the
whole enormity of what happened gets relived but this time without the
anesthetic afforded by dissociating, What then happens is ten years later
they experience all the pain and suffering for the first time. The body and
mind has remembered everything, it's just that it has been sealed away so
tightly that nothing escaped.
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| User: "Jernau Gurgeh" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
26 Oct 2004 07:23:42 AM |
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<snip>
Thank you for explaining, it is very enlightening.
Jernau
--
The only failure in life
is the failure to try
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| User: "áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG" |
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| Title: Re: Different voices |
25 Oct 2004 07:38:54 PM |
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On Tue, 26 Oct 2004 01:23:49 +0100, áñti-ëVêrYtHïñG <me@privacy.net> wrote:
I forgot to mention. Each personality has it's own memory, way of coping,
dealing and associations. When I shut down completely (go into one of those
extreme coping satellite personalities) I can remember my mother and father,
feel the sun, feel alive etc as well as completely obliterating any anxiety
and depression. My posture changes, my aches and pains go BUT I cannot feel
my body, have zero recognization of myself or my enviroment as well as having
no clue who on earth those people who are close to me are. Not only does Nina
become a stranger, but I couldn't give a flying ***** about anything.
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