| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"John Smith" |
| Date: |
24 Feb 2005 08:40:04 AM |
| Object: |
do i need a subject? |
Yeah, so, my life sucks. I don't have a girl. I don't have any friends. I
don't have any job satisfaction or any money. I don't have any prospects
or education or talent or ambition. I can't think of a single thing to look
forward to. Worst of all, and probably the cause of it all, is I don't have
any confidence or self-esteem at all. When I'm with people I just feel
embarrassed and crushingly uncomfortable, and I find it hard to talk. In fact
I'm terrified of people and spend as much time alone as possible. I'm
sure a measure of self-esteem is the bridge between an individual and the
world because I have no bridges. And nobody ever gets through. Ever.
I've always felt this way, for as long as I can remember.
I'm an off-and-on self-harmer. In reality I'd like to wipe myself out but of
course I'm a dumb fucking coward who clings to life like a flea being crushed
between someone's fingers.
The only thing I 'enjoy' anymore is torturing myself with my awesome capacity
to envisage a life worth living. I spend hours thinking about what it would
be like to have a good friend or to be good at something or love something.
I watch the traffic and I ache for somewhere to go, somewhere where people
would welcome me. I could cry whenever I see a beautiful woman because to me
she looks as remote and inaccessible as a star. The other day I watched the
movie Wicker Park and I would sell my soul to experience a tenth of a second
of a real Wicker Park.
I am so lonely and so sick of closed doors and this relentless emptiness.
I don't want sympathy, I just wanted to say something. To someone, anyone.
.
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| User: "elle" |
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| Title: Re: do i need a subject? |
24 Feb 2005 08:39:04 PM |
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"John Smith" <user@example.net> wrote in message
news:3867a4F5ahd84U1@individual.net...
Yeah, so, my life sucks. I don't have a girl. I don't have any friends. I
don't have any job satisfaction or any money. I don't have any prospects
or education or talent or ambition. I can't think of a single thing to
look
forward to. Worst of all, and probably the cause of it all, is I don't
have
any confidence or self-esteem at all. When I'm with people I just feel
embarrassed and crushingly uncomfortable, and I find it hard to talk. In
fact
I'm terrified of people and spend as much time alone as possible. I'm
sure a measure of self-esteem is the bridge between an individual and the
world because I have no bridges. And nobody ever gets through. Ever.
I've always felt this way, for as long as I can remember.
I'm an off-and-on self-harmer. In reality I'd like to wipe myself out but
of
course I'm a dumb fucking coward who clings to life like a flea being
crushed
between someone's fingers.
The only thing I 'enjoy' anymore is torturing myself with my awesome
capacity
to envisage a life worth living. I spend hours thinking about what it
would
be like to have a good friend or to be good at something or love
something.
I watch the traffic and I ache for somewhere to go, somewhere where people
would welcome me. I could cry whenever I see a beautiful woman because to
me
she looks as remote and inaccessible as a star. The other day I watched
the
movie Wicker Park and I would sell my soul to experience a tenth of a
second
of a real Wicker Park.
I am so lonely and so sick of closed doors and this relentless emptiness.
I don't want sympathy, I just wanted to say something. To someone, anyone.
I usually just lurk but this post touched me so I wanted to come out and say
that I hear you and I do hope things will start to look up for you soon.
One of the things you said is that you're "a coward who clings to life". I
think you're really the opposite. You continue on spite of your problems and
I think that's brave.
You also say that you aren't good at anything but I beg to differ. This was
a very well written post. It looks to me like you might have a talent for
writing. Maybe you could explore that a little further by doing something
like taking a writing class? Not only would you fine-tune your skill but
you'd also meet other people in the process.
Trust me, I know it's hard but hang in there. You probably won't always feel
this down and that future you dream of could someday be your reality.
Take care
Elle
(I never saw the movie "Wicker Park". You've convinced me to go rent it.)
:-)
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| User: "Used2be" |
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| Title: Re: do i need a subject? |
24 Feb 2005 03:54:52 PM |
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"John Smith" <user@example.net> wrote in message
news:3867a4F5ahd84U1@individual.net...
Yeah, so, my life sucks. I don't have a girl. I don't have any friends. I
don't have any job satisfaction or any money. I don't have any prospects
or education or talent or ambition. I can't think of a single thing to
look
forward to. Worst of all, and probably the cause of it all, is I don't
have
any confidence or self-esteem at all. When I'm with people I just feel
embarrassed and crushingly uncomfortable, and I find it hard to talk. In
fact
I'm terrified of people and spend as much time alone as possible. I'm
sure a measure of self-esteem is the bridge between an individual and the
world because I have no bridges. And nobody ever gets through. Ever.
I've always felt this way, for as long as I can remember.
I'm an off-and-on self-harmer. In reality I'd like to wipe myself out but
of
course I'm a dumb fucking coward who clings to life like a flea being
crushed
between someone's fingers.
The only thing I 'enjoy' anymore is torturing myself with my awesome
capacity
to envisage a life worth living. I spend hours thinking about what it
would
be like to have a good friend or to be good at something or love
something.
I watch the traffic and I ache for somewhere to go, somewhere where people
would welcome me. I could cry whenever I see a beautiful woman because to
me
she looks as remote and inaccessible as a star. The other day I watched
the
movie Wicker Park and I would sell my soul to experience a tenth of a
second
of a real Wicker Park.
I am so lonely and so sick of closed doors and this relentless emptiness.
I don't want sympathy, I just wanted to say something. To someone, anyone.
we're here, john. listening.
have you considered getting therapy?
hang in there!
~u2b
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: do i need a subject? |
24 Feb 2005 08:55:35 AM |
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"John Smith" <user@example.net> wrote in message news:3867a4F5ahd84U1@individual.net...
: Yeah, so, my life sucks. I don't have a girl. I don't have any friends. I
: don't have any job satisfaction or any money. I don't have any prospects
: or education or talent or ambition. I can't think of a single thing to look
: forward to. Worst of all, and probably the cause of it all, is I don't have
: any confidence or self-esteem at all. When I'm with people I just feel
: embarrassed and crushingly uncomfortable, and I find it hard to talk. In fact
: I'm terrified of people and spend as much time alone as possible. I'm
: sure a measure of self-esteem is the bridge between an individual and the
: world because I have no bridges. And nobody ever gets through. Ever.
:
: I've always felt this way, for as long as I can remember.
:
: I'm an off-and-on self-harmer. In reality I'd like to wipe myself out but of
: course I'm a dumb fucking coward who clings to life like a flea being crushed
: between someone's fingers.
:
: The only thing I 'enjoy' anymore is torturing myself with my awesome capacity
: to envisage a life worth living. I spend hours thinking about what it would
: be like to have a good friend or to be good at something or love something.
: I watch the traffic and I ache for somewhere to go, somewhere where people
: would welcome me. I could cry whenever I see a beautiful woman because to me
: she looks as remote and inaccessible as a star. The other day I watched the
: movie Wicker Park and I would sell my soul to experience a tenth of a second
: of a real Wicker Park.
:
: I am so lonely and so sick of closed doors and this relentless emptiness.
:
: I don't want sympathy, I just wanted to say something. To someone, anyone.
hi
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| User: "F!RE" |
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| Title: Re: do i need a subject? |
24 Feb 2005 03:30:02 PM |
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Funny, I came here just to check out if anyone has tried EFFEXOR and I read
a reply exactly how I'm feeling.
Apart from the girl, all the other things are exactly the same. But it's
because of the girl that I've decided to get help. I'll be starting
counselling next week, so hopefully things are looking up.
Dont give up John. Just DONT!!!!!!
<F!RE>
"John Smith" <user@example.net> wrote in message
news:3867a4F5ahd84U1@individual.net...
Yeah, so, my life sucks. I don't have a girl. I don't have any friends. I
don't have any job satisfaction or any money. I don't have any prospects
or education or talent or ambition. I can't think of a single thing to
look
forward to. Worst of all, and probably the cause of it all, is I don't
have
any confidence or self-esteem at all. When I'm with people I just feel
embarrassed and crushingly uncomfortable, and I find it hard to talk. In
fact
I'm terrified of people and spend as much time alone as possible. I'm
sure a measure of self-esteem is the bridge between an individual and the
world because I have no bridges. And nobody ever gets through. Ever.
I've always felt this way, for as long as I can remember.
I'm an off-and-on self-harmer. In reality I'd like to wipe myself out but
of
course I'm a dumb fucking coward who clings to life like a flea being
crushed
between someone's fingers.
The only thing I 'enjoy' anymore is torturing myself with my awesome
capacity
to envisage a life worth living. I spend hours thinking about what it
would
be like to have a good friend or to be good at something or love
something.
I watch the traffic and I ache for somewhere to go, somewhere where people
would welcome me. I could cry whenever I see a beautiful woman because to
me
she looks as remote and inaccessible as a star. The other day I watched
the
movie Wicker Park and I would sell my soul to experience a tenth of a
second
of a real Wicker Park.
I am so lonely and so sick of closed doors and this relentless emptiness.
I don't want sympathy, I just wanted to say something. To someone, anyone.
.
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| User: "Contrarian" |
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| Title: Re: do i need a subject? |
25 Feb 2005 03:12:46 PM |
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John Smith <user@example.net> wrote:
Yeah, so, my life sucks.
I am so lonely and so sick of closed doors and this relentless emptiness.
I don't want sympathy, I just wanted to say something. To someone, anyone.
wanted to let you know I was listening.
--
but the edge is still Out there. Or maybe it's In... HST (1967)
when i got to the edge , i built a deck % (2005)
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