| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Trishamolson" |
| Date: |
14 Feb 2004 06:48:30 AM |
| Object: |
Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
I really don't like attacks on ASD. For myself, it makes me feel constrained
as if I cannot come here and write, vent, express, or share feelings --
feelings which are often troubling or confused or sad -- that would seem "okay"
to write on a *depression* *support* group. I have been here many years (about
7 now I think) and the "personality" of the group has indeed changed.
Some come only as a social club to banter, many more than years ago. And that
is *fine,* but some like myself write here to let loose those feelings that
cannot be expressed to any one in real life. I for one have no friends here in
England nor indeed in America with whom I can talk about really troubling
"stuff." So I really do depend on the people I know here for input. The input
matters and is considered and mulled over.
It is just a total drag to have one's character assailed the way mine was here
for even though it is a wide open newsgroup it tends to make me feel gun-shy
about sharing . . . and that is sad in the bigger picture of ASD for it was
meant to be a place where one could talk about those things often hushed or
disdained by others in real life.
Nothing to do about it, obviously one can simply ignore attacks and proceed on
in ASD. But still, the group always had the odd character of being a wide open
newsgroup where depressed/troubled people could feel somewhat safe to speak.
I don't feel quite so safe now.
Rosena
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| User: "Jamal Chapultapec" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 04:07:58 PM |
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(Trishamolson) wrote in
news:20040214074830.18928.00001939@mb-m28.aol.com:
I really don't like attacks on ASD.
Eh, tough, I get them all the time.
For myself, it makes me feel
constrained as if I cannot come here and write, vent, express, or
share feelings -- feelings which are often troubling or confused or
sad -- that would seem "okay" to write on a *depression* *support*
group.
The simple fact is this is NOT a safe place to write about that kind of
stuff. When I wrote about losing my job, several people used the fact
that I was unemployed to attack me. When I wrote about one of ym
hobbies, someone here insulted me because of that. Hell, Flashfire has
insulted me because of my career (accounting.)
So no: this is not a safe place. It never will be. I'm sorry to break
that to you. Find someone you trust and communicate with them through e-
mail.
I have been here many years (about 7 now I think) and the
"personality" of the group has indeed changed.
I disagree. It's always been like this.
Some come only as a social club to banter, many more than years ago.
And that is *fine,* but some like myself write here to let loose those
feelings that cannot be expressed to any one in real life. I for one
have no friends here in England nor indeed in America with whom I can
talk about really troubling "stuff." So I really do depend on the
people I know here for input. The input matters and is considered and
mulled over.
Interesting, everyone here usually boasts about how little any of this
means to them.
It is just a total drag to have one's character assailed the way mine
was here for even though it is a wide open newsgroup it tends to make
me feel gun-shy about sharing . . . and that is sad in the bigger
picture of ASD for it was meant to be a place where one could talk
about those things often hushed or disdained by others in real life.
Nothing to do about it, obviously one can simply ignore attacks and
proceed on in ASD. But still, the group always had the odd character
of being a wide open newsgroup where depressed/troubled people could
feel somewhat safe to speak. I don't feel quite so safe now.
Well you shouldn't. I don't. Never have.
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| User: "Velvet Elvis" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 07:20:37 PM |
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On Sat, 14 Feb 2004 22:07:58 +0000, Jamal Chapultapec wrote:
trishamolson@aol.com (Trishamolson) wrote in
news:20040214074830.18928.00001939@mb-m28.aol.com:
I really don't like attacks on ASD.
Eh, tough, I get them all the time.
For myself, it makes me feel
constrained as if I cannot come here and write, vent, express, or
share feelings -- feelings which are often troubling or confused or
sad -- that would seem "okay" to write on a *depression* *support*
group.
The simple fact is this is NOT a safe place to write about that kind of
stuff. When I wrote about losing my job, several people used the fact
that I was unemployed to attack me. When I wrote about one of ym
hobbies, someone here insulted me because of that. Hell, Flashfire has
insulted me because of my career (accounting.)
So no: this is not a safe place. It never will be. I'm sorry to break
that to you. Find someone you trust and communicate with them through e-
mail.
I have been here many years (about 7 now I think) and the
"personality" of the group has indeed changed.
I disagree. It's always been like this.
No. I used to lurk here a lot 2-4 years ago. I met my fiance here. I
made some friends here. I found it to be a warm and inviting forum, but
not all stuffy and stilted like some of the moderated ones on the web and
listservs. There was a real sense of community and I liked it a lot.
I made the mistake of thinking that if I ever bottomed out again, the
group would still be the same as I left it. Silly me.
It's depressing what ASD has become.
I'm sure I'm not alone is saying this.
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
15 Feb 2004 07:40:11 AM |
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On Sun, 15 Feb 2004 01:20:37 +0000, Velvet Elvis
<gambolt@REMOVEsofthome.THISnet> wrote:
snip
I made the mistake of thinking that if I ever bottomed out again, the
group would still be the same as I left it. Silly me.
It's depressing what ASD has become.
I'm sure I'm not alone is saying this.
I think a significant part of what ASD is for me, depends on whatever
baggage I happen to bring with me at the time.
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^ Interested in Citroens?
-- Whiskers <http://www.aacit.net>
-- ~~~~~~~~~~ <news:alt.autos.citroen>
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| User: "zer0 the her0" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
15 Feb 2004 11:24:15 AM |
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Velvet Elvis wrote:
On Sat, 14 Feb 2004 22:07:58 +0000, Jamal Chapultapec wrote:
trishamolson@aol.com (Trishamolson) wrote in
news:20040214074830.18928.00001939@mb-m28.aol.com:
I really don't like attacks on ASD.
Eh, tough, I get them all the time.
For myself, it makes me feel
constrained as if I cannot come here and write, vent, express, or
share feelings -- feelings which are often troubling or confused or
sad -- that would seem "okay" to write on a *depression* *support*
group.
The simple fact is this is NOT a safe place to write about that kind of
stuff. When I wrote about losing my job, several people used the fact
that I was unemployed to attack me. When I wrote about one of ym
hobbies, someone here insulted me because of that. Hell, Flashfire has
insulted me because of my career (accounting.)
So no: this is not a safe place. It never will be. I'm sorry to break
that to you. Find someone you trust and communicate with them through e-
mail.
I have been here many years (about 7 now I think) and the
"personality" of the group has indeed changed.
I disagree. It's always been like this.
No. I used to lurk here a lot 2-4 years ago. I met my fiance here. I
made some friends here. I found it to be a warm and inviting forum, but
not all stuffy and stilted like some of the moderated ones on the web and
listservs. There was a real sense of community and I liked it a lot.
I made the mistake of thinking that if I ever bottomed out again, the
group would still be the same as I left it. Silly me.
It's depressing what ASD has become.
I'm sure I'm not alone is saying this.
its still a good group..you just need to find the right folks to get a
email correspondence with. some way cool people on irc too (however ive
burned my bridges there too)...but complaining to ISPs is fucked up i
think, like you did to mine...if you dont like what someone is saying,
argue it, beat it down...but ratting off someone because they express
thier opinion is like turning into a republican..learn to ignore it, or
accept it..
i think most people, including myself fail to realize that many of us
are fucked up, and just seek shelter here. i go off on people i dont
like..so you going to turn me in for expressing my feelings, because you
dont like it? i can aslo understand childish reactions to stupid
meningless disputes. but thats life. i only disrepected those that
disrepected me, with the exception of RJ, im sure ive been kill filled
buy 80% of the people here. but those arent the people i need
help/support from to begin with. id rather get input on how other people
went through or overcome their ordeals and experiences.the meds theyve
used, what works best for them..if i get into an arguement , when im in
a edgy mood, i speak my mind, and how i feel..rather than stuff my
feelings, and ignore it...but once again...im not going to rat someone
out to their ISP, because im to worried about how it may disturb my
reality..im clinically depressed or diagnosed that. but i have other
issues as well....maybe i just post to the wrong ng. but go ahead and
turn me in, for not fitting your mold of how things should be..or
help..or troll me...
and here is where i say...i could really give a *****...
.
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| User: "Lynda" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
16 Feb 2004 10:02:26 AM |
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i came to the group with hopes of receiving some input and maybe help on
some things i go thru in life, alot of people have been friendily but
sometimes i am afraid to post when i am dealing with something because
someone may make fun of it or joke about it, and that is sad.
this is suppose to be a support group where is the support~Lynda
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| User: "zer0 the her0" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
16 Feb 2004 04:42:36 PM |
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Lynda wrote:
i came to the group with hopes of receiving some input and maybe help on
some things i go thru in life, alot of people have been friendily but
sometimes i am afraid to post when i am dealing with something because
someone may make fun of it or joke about it, and that is sad.
this is suppose to be a support group where is the support~Lynda
only if it is repetitive ingnorant stuff, that the solution to has been
givin and repeated by every nice person here..including me the major
*****. and the pile of %.
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
16 Feb 2004 10:25:27 AM |
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Lynda,
You just have to risk the remarks some people make, because usually in-between
those, you will get pretty thoughtful posts from others who care. Look at this
thread that you are responding to, some people took their shots, but all in all
it wound up being a bunch of women and a few guys talking about issues for many
of us.
So post away your problems. I for one will not laugh at you or take a shot.
Best
Rosena
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| User: "wombn" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
16 Feb 2004 12:12:37 PM |
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On Mon, 16 Feb 2004 10:02:26 -0600 (CST), (Lynda)
wrote:
i came to the group with hopes of receiving some input and maybe help on
some things i go thru in life, alot of people have been friendily but
sometimes i am afraid to post when i am dealing with something because
someone may make fun of it or joke about it, and that is sad.
this is suppose to be a support group where is the support~Lynda
watch and see who those people are and then killfile them.
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If laughter is the best medicine,
then kittens should be covered by our health insurance. :-)
.
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| User: "zer0 the her0" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
16 Feb 2004 04:43:27 PM |
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wombn wrote:
On Mon, 16 Feb 2004 10:02:26 -0600 (CST), (Lynda)
wrote:
i came to the group with hopes of receiving some input and maybe help on
some things i go thru in life, alot of people have been friendily but
sometimes i am afraid to post when i am dealing with something because
someone may make fun of it or joke about it, and that is sad.
this is suppose to be a support group where is the support~Lynda
watch and see who those people are and then killfile them.
yeah, critizism is so unbearable...
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| User: "Nom dePlume nomdeplume1000-at-yahoo.com" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 04:42:26 PM |
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I'm sorry you feel attacked, Rosena. I can see why the emotional
attachment you feel towards someone who abused you rightly alarms
people, and it's something that worries me when I see it. Something
that particularly alarms me is when you refuse to "pass judgment" on
him as a bad person; for me, people are defined more by their acts,
and much less by their words or motivations.
On the other hand, I also see you doing the right things. Whatever
your conflicted feelings about your past relationships may be, you
have been moving yourself away from danger and towards a better, safer
future, for you and your daughter. I respect your actions, and I'm
glad to see you moving towards your goals.
When I said that, for me, people are defined more by their acts than
their words or motivations, that applies to you, too; and when I look
at your acts, I see a lot of the right things happening. For me, that
matters a lot more than the words, or the feelings that you have not
yet let go.
So keep up the good work. Keep moving in the right direction, and
don't let yourself get wound up around the axle of other people's
expectations. As long as your actions are moving you in the right
direction, you should be all right. The rest will eventually fall into
line.
--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.
"Trishamolson" <trishamolson@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040214074830.18928.00001939@mb-m28.aol.com...
I really don't like attacks on ASD. For myself, it makes me feel
constrained
as if I cannot come here and write, vent, express, or share
feelings --
feelings which are often troubling or confused or sad -- that would
seem "okay"
to write on a *depression* *support* group. I have been here many
years (about
7 now I think) and the "personality" of the group has indeed
changed.
.
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
15 Feb 2004 04:28:05 AM |
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Thanks -- that is what I am trying to focus on, the right actions.
Rosena
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| User: "sniffle" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 12:17:02 PM |
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On 14 Feb 2004 12:48:30 GMT, (Trishamolson)
wrote:
I really don't like attacks on ASD. For myself, it makes me feel constrained
as if I cannot come here and write, vent, express, or share feelings --
feelings which are often troubling or confused or sad -- that would seem "okay"
to write on a *depression* *support* group. I have been here many years (about
7 now I think) and the "personality" of the group has indeed changed.
I wasn't going to mention this, but I've thought about it, and I will.
I used to be quite active in ASD about 7 or 8 years ago, under a
different nickname. And you know what, it hasn't changed much at all.
The names and faces have changed, but really the whole tone of the
place is about the same. It's easier to see it from my angle though
because I left and came back, I haven't been here all along, so I can
only compare it to then, but it's really about the same as it was
then. I have no idea how it was inbetween then and now of course, but
there have always been people fast to jump on and attack others.
There is no filter, there is no way to say Only Supportive People May
Post On ASD. It's not going to happen. It never has and it never will.
It's a risk you take when posting.
Please note I am not agreeing or disagreeing about you being attacked
by Luna. I'm not commenting on that because I don't know all the
history of what's gone on here, so until I do I am not forming any
opinions one way or the other. I'm simply pointing out that your
statement that ASD has changed from 7 years ago is incorrect in my
opinion.
sniffle
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 12:30:35 PM |
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Hi Sniffle.
my perspective may be off -- perhaps it is the same . . .
Rosena
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| User: "Nina" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 12:59:25 PM |
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On Sat, 14 Feb 2004 12:17:02 -0600, sniffle <sniffle@hotmail.com>
wrote:
On 14 Feb 2004 12:48:30 GMT, (Trishamolson)
wrote:
I really don't like attacks on ASD. For myself, it makes me feel constrained
as if I cannot come here and write, vent, express, or share feelings --
feelings which are often troubling or confused or sad -- that would seem "okay"
to write on a *depression* *support* group. I have been here many years (about
7 now I think) and the "personality" of the group has indeed changed.
I wasn't going to mention this, but I've thought about it, and I will.
I used to be quite active in ASD about 7 or 8 years ago, under a
different nickname. And you know what, it hasn't changed much at all.
The names and faces have changed, but really the whole tone of the
place is about the same. It's easier to see it from my angle though
because I left and came back, I haven't been here all along, so I can
only compare it to then, but it's really about the same as it was
then. I have no idea how it was inbetween then and now of course, but
there have always been people fast to jump on and attack others.
There is no filter, there is no way to say Only Supportive People May
Post On ASD. It's not going to happen. It never has and it never will.
It's a risk you take when posting.
Agreed. It's about time for the semi-annual "ASD Isn't The Way It Was
In The Golden Years" thread. There were no golden years. It's always
been just as it is, although there are topic changes and cultural
changes and the coming and going of people I miss... and people I
don't miss, too, in some cases. This too is a river, and it keeps
refreshing itself, always essentially the same, always a little
different.
Nina
perhaps a little annoyingly lyrical today :-)
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| User: "Velvet Elvis" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 07:26:27 PM |
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On Sat, 14 Feb 2004 12:48:30 +0000, Trishamolson wrote:
It is just a total drag to have one's character assailed the way mine was here
for even though it is a wide open newsgroup it tends to make me feel gun-shy
about sharing . . . and that is sad in the bigger picture of ASD for it was
meant to be a place where one could talk about those things often hushed or
disdained by others in real life.
Nothing to do about it, obviously one can simply ignore attacks and proceed on
in ASD. But still, the group always had the odd character of being a wide open
newsgroup where depressed/troubled people could feel somewhat safe to speak.
I don't feel quite so safe now.
Abuse complaints to ISP's can sometimes be effective. I was successful in
getting a couple of people's accounts terminated because of their conduct
on an irc channel I was an op on.
I've sent a few related to stuff on here, but it doesn't seem to have had
much of an effect. If enough people complain though, it's likely that
someone will take notice.
Then again, I often take great pride in bashing my head against brick
walls.
Rosena
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| User: "zer0 the her0" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
15 Feb 2004 11:31:48 AM |
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Velvet Elvis wrote:
On Sat, 14 Feb 2004 12:48:30 +0000, Trishamolson wrote:
It is just a total drag to have one's character assailed the way mine was here
for even though it is a wide open newsgroup it tends to make me feel gun-shy
about sharing . . . and that is sad in the bigger picture of ASD for it was
meant to be a place where one could talk about those things often hushed or
disdained by others in real life.
Nothing to do about it, obviously one can simply ignore attacks and proceed on
in ASD. But still, the group always had the odd character of being a wide open
newsgroup where depressed/troubled people could feel somewhat safe to speak.
I don't feel quite so safe now.
Abuse complaints to ISP's can sometimes be effective. I was successful in
getting a couple of people's accounts terminated because of their conduct
on an irc channel I was an op on.
I've sent a few related to stuff on here, but it doesn't seem to have had
much of an effect. If enough people complain though, it's likely that
someone will take notice.
Then again, I often take great pride in bashing my head against brick
walls.
Rosena
im copy n paste the reply here too evli
its still a good group..you just need to find the right folks to get a
email correspondence with. some way cool people on irc too (however ive
burned my bridges there too)...but complaining to ISPs is fucked up i
think, like you did to mine...if you dont like what someone is saying,
argue it, beat it down...but ratting off someone because they express
thier opinion is like turning into a republican..learn to ignore it, or
accept it..
i think most people, including myself fail to realize that many of us
are fucked up, and just seek shelter here. i go off on people i dont
like..so you going to turn me in for expressing my feelings, because you
dont like it? i can aslo understand childish reactions to stupid
meningless disputes. but thats life. i only disrepected those that
disrepected me, with the exception of RJ, im sure ive been kill filled
buy 80% of the people here. but those arent the people i need
help/support from to begin with. id rather get input on how other people
went through or overcome their ordeals and experiences.the meds theyve
used, what works best for them..if i get into an arguement , when im in
a edgy mood, i speak my mind, and how i feel..rather than stuff my
feelings, and ignore it...but once again...im not going to rat someone
out to their ISP, because im to worried about how it may disturb my
reality..im clinically depressed or diagnosed that. but i have other
issues as well....maybe i just post to the wrong ng. but go ahead and
turn me in, for not fitting your mold of how things should be..or
help..or troll me...
and here is where i say...i could really give a *****...
.
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| User: "Indigo Moon Man" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 07:20:50 AM |
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Trishamolson <trishamolson@aol.com> spake thusly:
I really don't like attacks on ASD. For myself, it makes me feel
constrained as if I cannot come here and write, vent, express, or share
feelings -- feelings which are often troubling or confused or sad -- that
would seem "okay" to write on a *depression* *support* group. I have
been here many years (about 7 now I think) and the "personality" of the
group has indeed changed.
Some come only as a social club to banter, many more than years ago. And
that is *fine,* but some like myself write here to let loose those
feelings that cannot be expressed to any one in real life. I for one
have no friends here in England nor indeed in America with whom I can
talk about really troubling "stuff." So I really do depend on the people
I know here for input. The input matters and is considered and mulled
over.
It is just a total drag to have one's character assailed the way mine was
here for even though it is a wide open newsgroup it tends to make me feel
gun-shy about sharing . . . and that is sad in the bigger picture of ASD
for it was meant to be a place where one could talk about those things
often hushed or disdained by others in real life.
Nothing to do about it, obviously one can simply ignore attacks and
proceed on in ASD. But still, the group always had the odd character of
being a wide open newsgroup where depressed/troubled people could feel
somewhat safe to speak.
I don't feel quite so safe now.
It is indeed sad that there are some sickos out there who come to support
groups just so that they can feel better by abusing others. But there is
little we can do about them (especially as long as anonymous remailers
exist) other than to ignore them. They only have power if they are able to
see that they are getting to us. So the trick is to not let them see when
it gets to us and after a while they will get bored and move on to some
other self-destructive behavior. It irks me to no end that there is nothing
we can do to them or about them but we can always find comfort in the fact
that the karmic boomerang will whap them upside the head sooner or later if
they keep it up. Hang in there and just ignore them the best that you can.
--
Bible Gateway Bible study tools:
http://bible.gospelcom.net/tools/
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 07:36:07 AM |
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Thanks Indigo,
Unfortunately it was from a quite intelligent regular. But you say it true --
ignore as best one can.
Hope you are doing well. Do you have children too? I can't recall. Just
curious.
Rosena
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| User: "Indigo Moon Man" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 08:16:55 AM |
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Trishamolson <trishamolson@aol.com> spake thusly:
Thanks Indigo,
Unfortunately it was from a quite intelligent regular. But you say it
true -- ignore as best one can.
Hope you are doing well. Do you have children too? I can't recall. Just
curious.
I have one son who lives in Maine with his mother. At least I think he
still does, he's 19 now so he could be living on his own by now I guess.
And I have 2 step-daugthers in Germany that are 21 and 19.
--
Bible Gateway Bible study tools:
http://bible.gospelcom.net/tools/
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 08:22:56 AM |
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e's 19 now so he could be living on his own by now I guess.
And I have 2 step-daugthers in Germany that are 21 and 19.
You seem too young to have grown children! Hope you share your humor with
them.
Best
Rosena
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| User: "Indigo Moon Man" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 09:37:18 AM |
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Trishamolson <trishamolson@aol.com> spake thusly:
e's 19 now so he could be living on his own by now I guess.
And I have 2 step-daugthers in Germany that are 21 and 19.
You seem too young to have grown children!
I keep thinking the same thing! :-)
--
Bible Gateway Bible study tools:
http://bible.gospelcom.net/tools/
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| User: "GlennT" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 07:11:21 AM |
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Trishamolson wrote:
I really don't like attacks on ASD. For myself, it makes me feel constrained
as if I cannot come here and write, vent, express, or share feelings --
feelings which are often troubling or confused or sad -- that would seem "okay"
to write on a *depression* *support* group. I have been here many years (about
7 now I think) and the "personality" of the group has indeed changed.
Some come only as a social club to banter, many more than years ago. And that
is *fine,* but some like myself write here to let loose those feelings that
cannot be expressed to any one in real life. I for one have no friends here in
England nor indeed in America with whom I can talk about really troubling
"stuff." So I really do depend on the people I know here for input. The input
matters and is considered and mulled over.
It is just a total drag to have one's character assailed the way mine was here
for even though it is a wide open newsgroup it tends to make me feel gun-shy
about sharing . . . and that is sad in the bigger picture of ASD for it was
meant to be a place where one could talk about those things often hushed or
disdained by others in real life.
Nothing to do about it, obviously one can simply ignore attacks and proceed on
in ASD. But still, the group always had the odd character of being a wide open
newsgroup where depressed/troubled people could feel somewhat safe to speak.
I don't feel quite so safe now.
Rosena
Has it ever been safe or is that more your perceptions? You have
always had a steady support here Rosena and that hasn't changed.
Yes, the wallpaper is more violent than what it used to be but
people are more sophisticated about dealing with powerlessness when
it comes to usenet. Therefore more trolls doing technical stuff to
annoy others.
More people fighting *us* than before? Probably... but I don't think
the message has changed all that much. Nor the support.
Just the wallpaper...
GlennT
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 07:20:34 AM |
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Has it ever been safe or is that more your perceptions? You have
always had a steady support here Rosena and that hasn't changed.
No, no, I wasn't clear. People here offer me sound and thoughtful insight,
advice, support, comment and so forth. I only suffered a single attack last
night, but it was quite biting -- completely dismissive and filled with overt
contempt -- this single attack hit its target and made me write this post.
I do believe though that it is a bit different here than say 7 years ago.
Maybe it is perception (miss Mary Beth, Erik, Ferret, Stewart, Kim, Nyte Byrd
and so forth I guess).
But again -- I really appreciate all the input I get and others get too.
me
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| User: "orion" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 03:26:43 PM |
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I do believe though that it is a bit different here than say 7 years ago.
Maybe it is perception (miss Mary Beth, Erik, Ferret, Stewart, Kim, Nyte Byrd
and so forth I guess).
I am only a lurker and seldom post. ASD is different from a couple of
years ago. I to miss the above and others. I always hope that if they
are not posting that they are doing better. But times change and ASD
is not as supportive as in the past. Well I am going back into hiding,
it is what I do, even here.
Orion
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
Waldon
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| User: "Alan Harding" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 06:27:59 PM |
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In message <2705bcd2.0402141326.ff343c0@posting.google.com>, orion
<orion_ns@yahoo.com> writes
I do believe though that it is a bit different here than say 7 years ago.
Maybe it is perception (miss Mary Beth, Erik, Ferret, Stewart, Kim,
Nyte Byrd
and so forth I guess).
I am only a lurker and seldom post. ASD is different from a couple of
years ago. I to miss the above and others. I always hope that if they
are not posting that they are doing better. But times change and ASD
is not as supportive as in the past. Well I am going back into hiding,
it is what I do, even here.
When I first came to asd in 1995, they were saying that it wasn't as
supportive as in the past. It probably never has been.
--
The opinions given above may be mine. They might also
just be what I feel like saying right now, okay?
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 08:13:06 AM |
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On 14 Feb 2004 13:20:34 GMT, (Trishamolson)
wrote:
<(((*> No, no, I wasn't clear. People here offer me sound and thoughtful insight,
<(((*> advice, support, comment and so forth. I only suffered a single attack last
<(((*> night, but it was quite biting -- completely dismissive and filled with overt
<(((*> contempt -- this single attack hit its target and made me write this post.
Rosena, if you're referring to what Luna said, then you've
completely missed her point.
There was nothing dismissive in her words. In fact, she cut right
through all the romantic tripe and twaddle to the real issues.
She tore down your wall of excuses and rationalizations and
pointed out those parts of your psyche that desperately need
rebuilding.
As for contempt, well, Luna used the word "disdain", but I don't
want to quibble over semantics. However, I must point this out:
if Luna _truly_ felt contempt for you, then she wouldn't have
wasted her time writing her response.
I think, rather, that when she looks at you she sees a
desperately abused battered woman, and rather than feed into a
"poor little Rosena" personality cult, she's telling you some
hard truths you need to hear.
I'm sure you feel rejected and hurt because Luna isn't playing
nicey-nicey with you, Well, don't. Print out her post. Think
about what she said. Think about it.
I've known you for years, Rosena, I've seen you come a long way.
It's still a long, difficult road ahead of you. I believe Luna is
cheering for you to follow that road to the end.
Tara J. Ballance
Montreal, Canada
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 08:38:35 AM |
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Dear Tara,
I believe Luna is>cheering for you to follow that road to the end.
I do not think you read Luna right. She is not cheering me on in any respect. I
do not know if you read the whole thread. But Nina hit the mark several times,
in my opinion, and gave much to be considered.
But insofar as Luna's post is considered, I am not ashamed to be me, I do not
think Maria should be ashamed (as was implied) of her mama. Nor am I ashamed to
love someone who it is best I stay away from for the rest of my life.
(Nor am I ashamed by trying to offer Marty support BTW)
I'm sure you feel rejected and hurt because Luna isn't playing>nicey-nicey
with you.
That is not it at all. Again, pointing to Nina's post as an example, she is
always straight about how she sees things to work on. Luna however did not
just give her take, she spewed spit in my face.
I do not feel like "poor little Rosena" though I suppose I do feel sorry for
myself about my legs. I am a very tough and strong woman and have come through
years of sexual abuse by my father, beatings by both parents, and a life on the
streets that I do not share on ASD. I am proud I am strong.
But I also know, love does not have rhyme or reason. And there are indeed
things in John to admire notwithstanding that there are many things to condemn.
I do not think who I love is an issue. I think what matters is doing what is
healthy in *spite* of that love. And that is what I am trying to do.
BTW -- I still love my parents (who are now dead) despite what they did. And
also, I left early (at 11 years old) because it was not healthy to be around
them. I suppose Luna would despise me for loving them too and she somehow
would know all about them from a newsgroup reference??
I am sorry -- I always listen to you Tara. And you have always played straight
to. But on this you are wrong. Luna meant nothing by that post but to voice
her contempt. And if she intended to strike at me she did succeeded.
One last thing --
she cut right>through all the romantic tripe and twaddle to the real issues.
I do not think what other call romantic tripe is tripe. Nor do I **ever** wish
to be a tough, aggressive proud-to-be ***** when I grow up. Different strokes
for different women should not be disparaged.
Rosena
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| User: "GlennT" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 07:27:33 AM |
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Trishamolson wrote:
Has it ever been safe or is that more your perceptions? You have
always had a steady support here Rosena and that hasn't changed.
No, no, I wasn't clear. People here offer me sound and thoughtful insight,
advice, support, comment and so forth. I only suffered a single attack last
night, but it was quite biting -- completely dismissive and filled with overt
contempt -- this single attack hit its target and made me write this post.
I do believe though that it is a bit different here than say 7 years ago.
Maybe it is perception (miss Mary Beth, Erik, Ferret, Stewart, Kim, Nyte Byrd
and so forth I guess).
But again -- I really appreciate all the input I get and others get too.
me
I miss them all. It's funny how people talk about a clique when that
clique is mostly gone. Yes, it's different now. I just feel it's not
*that* different.
I'm sorry you got hurt. I hope that person feels bad. If not, then
that person is scum and not worth worrying about. There is no
shortage of weak scum around. This makes the diamonds even more
precious, no?
GlennT
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| User: "Trishamolson" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 07:34:35 AM |
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I miss them all. It's funny how people talk about a clique when that
clique is mostly gone. Yes, it's different now. I just feel it's not
*that* different.
Nodding.
here is no>shortage of weak scum around. This makes the diamonds even more
precious, no?
Oh Glenn you are such a delight. The above made me recall some lovely poetry
you wrote and posted when I was having very hard times a few years back. Yes,
you are right.
Rosena (kiss on your cheek)
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| User: "Luna" |
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| Title: Re: Don't Like Personal Attacks Here |
14 Feb 2004 09:11:02 AM |
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Trishamolson wrote:
I really don't like attacks on ASD. For myself, it makes me feel
constrained as if I cannot come here and write, vent, express, or
share feelings -- feelings which are often troubling or confused or
sad -- that would seem "okay" to write on a *depression* *support*
group. I have been here many years (about 7 now I think) and the
"personality" of the group has indeed changed.
Some come only as a social club to banter, many more than years ago.
And that is *fine,* but some like myself write here to let loose
those feelings that cannot be expressed to any one in real life. I
for one have no friends here in England nor indeed in America with
whom I can talk about really troubling "stuff." So I really do
depend on the people I know here for input. The input matters and is
considered and mulled over.
It is just a total drag to have one's character assailed the way mine
was here for even though it is a wide open newsgroup it tends to make
me feel gun-shy about sharing . . . and that is sad in the bigger
picture of ASD for it was meant to be a place where one could talk
about those things often hushed or disdained by others in real life.
Nothing to do about it, obviously one can simply ignore attacks and
proceed on in ASD. But still, the group always had the odd character
of being a wide open newsgroup where depressed/troubled people could
feel somewhat safe to speak. I don't feel quite so safe now.
Rosena, wake the hell up. You seek approval, contact, forgiveness (?)
and civility from abusers one of two things happen: you get it and are
lured back in, you don't get it and blame yourself, suidical depression
ensues. It's insane.
At least you can stand up to me when I treat you like crap. You can
consider me practice if you like. Next step, stop seeking approval or
whateverthehell it is you are seeking from this man who put a
non-metaphorical gun to your head and stand up for yourself. That means
he doesn't exist, he doesn't matter, he has no power over you. If you
don't feel that way, you can at least act that way, feelings will follow
with time.
Do you find it ironic at all that you get your knickers in a snit over
some words I post in a Usenet newsgroup and yet here you are, posting
this pining drivel about some monster who almost killed you?
Jean
Rosena
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